Mister Ed and the Big News

Carol was sitting on the sofa, beaming, when Wilbur entered the house through the sliding door in back . . . nearly tripping over the threshold as he did so.

"Oh Wilbur," she said, "Please sit down before you hurt yourself!"

"Is anything the matter?" said Wilbur, sitting beside Carol.

"I just want to make sure you're sitting before I tell you the news," she said.

"People!" scoffed Mister Ed, looking in a nearby window. "Horses always take news, good or bad, standing up."

However, Mister Ed was starting to get curious himself. Something big was going on.

"If it's any bad news I want it straight up!" said Wilbur, who was getting concerned.

"Bad news!" exclaimed Carol. "It's good news, the best news in the world!"

"Please don't tell me your father's coming to stay with us again," groaned Wilbur.

"Better than that . . . though we'll probably be expecting a visit from Father and Mother sometime soon!"

"Both of them?" asked Wilbur despondently.

"Yes," said Carol rather sternly, determinedly ignoring Wilbur's pained expression. And your father as well. You see, we're expecting a blessed event.

Wilbur's face was blank for a few seconds.

"A blessed event . . . a baby! This is wonderful Carol . . . I've got to get your suitcase ready . . . We've got to pack . . . I've got to buy cigars to pass out . . . a blessed event . . . a baby . . . I guess I'll give Mister Ed carrots instead of a cigar, he doesn't smoke . . . Carol why aren't you lying down? . . . a blessed event!"

"Calm down Wilbur," said Carol, laughing. "The blessed event isn't for months yet."

"C-calm down?" asked Wilbur. "I'm perfectly c-calm, I'm h-happy. Your-re right, Carol, this is the best news in the world!"

The two of them hugged.

"A baby!" said Mister Ed to himself, as he left the window and slowly wandered back to his stall. "Couldn't happen to nicer people than Wilbur and Carol. If it's a boy Wilbur might name him after me! Why, Wilbur and Carol will be happy to have a child . . . they be playing with the tyke . . . feeding it, taking care of it, all their attention going to it . . . .

Mister Ed started to cry.

"Why Wilbur'll forget all about his buddy now that he'll have a child of his own.

While Mister Ed was moping, he hear a car pull up next door.

"Kay must be home with her taxicab full of stuff," said Mister Ed through his tears. "I might as well see her argue with cheapskate Addison. That'll get my mind off this news."

Mister Ed peered from behind the wooden fence separating his yard from that of the Addison's. A tall brunette woman in early middle age was just leaving the cab - Kay Addison.

"Just take the packages into the living room, driver," said she. "I want to show them to my husband before I put them away . . . he'll flip when he sees them."

"He'll flip alright," said the driver, heading towards the trunk.

"He'll flip is right!" said Addison, who had been spying out the front window and now made his appearance. "They're all going back to the store!"

"Addison, doll, watch your language!" said Kay, "Just wait til you see what I bought!"

"Yeah just you wait, mac," added the taxi driver, opening the trunk.

The entire trunk was filled with bags and boxes, not to mention the entire back seat of the cab.

"You stay out of this!" said Addison to the driver, before turning his attention to Kay and the taxi full of merchandise. "I don't care what you've "bought" it's going back to the store," said Addison indignantly.

"Doll, hadn't we better talk about this inside," said Kay.

"Inside!" Addison exclaimed, green to the gills just looking at the car full of his wife's purchases. "This stuff is going back!"

"Then I'll show you here," Kay said pointedly.

"I won't look," Addison replied.

"Doll, just one box!"

"Well . . . one box couldn't hurt."

Kay handed Addison the topmost box. Addison looked inside it. There was a tiny set of dishes, all illustrating a barn, some chickens, a cow and a horse on it. There was also a bib with a matching design.

Addison looked at it quizzically.

"Who's supposed to eat from these - and that horse looks suspiciously like that plug from next door!

Mister Ed snorted, from his hiding place behind the fence. Only the taxi driver noticed, and it made the driver very uncomfortable. It seemed as if the horse was picking up every word the Addisons were saying!

"Try this one," said Kay sardonically, handing her husband a bag this time.

Addison carefully returned the dishes to the box (he couldn't return broken merchandise) and removed the contents from the bag. Baby blocks.

Addison was silent for a moment.

"Are these all . . . for a baby?" he asked.

"Yes," said Kay, nodding eagerly.

"Who . . . had the blessed event," Addison asked carefully, not wanting to jump to conclusions.

"We're expecting a blessed event, doll," said Kay, smiling at Addison's suddenly beaming face.

She pulled out the baby blocks at the bottom of the bag. These were glued together, spelling the word "ADDISON"

"How wonderful," said Addison, hugging his wife in a rare show of emotion. "After all these years."

"Don't worry Addison doll, I'll dry away those tears," said Kay, expertly picking the silk handkerchief from her husband's pocket.

"Bring these things in" said Addison to the driver. "We're keeping everything!"

"Yes sir," said the taxi driver. He was eager to get away from that suspicious looking horse. However, he needn't have bothered. Mister Ed had already left.

"The Addisons too," said Mister Ed sobbing as he entered his stall. "Now who's going to remember me!"