Author's Note: Hello! As always, thank you for the wonderful reviews! I have a lighter chapter, tonight. My next chapter is going to be a chapter of author's notes, comments, and scraps—any ideas that weren't long enough to be a chapter, couldn't fit into another chapter, but are still important to the story. So if anybody has any suggestions, questions, comments, critiques, etc., please feel free to share! You can review, send me a Private Message, send me a message on tumblr, break into my house, whatever you need to do!

Chapter Twenty Nine

It was the best fort in the universe.

At least, that's what the Doctor proudly exclaimed. And Mycroft and Sherlock weren't about to disagree with him. They had draped blankets across the entire console room and had piled pillows upon pillows inside. The three now crawled around, grinning from ear to ear.

"Knock knock?"

"Who's there?" Sherlock jokingly shouted.

"Jack!"

The Doctor laughed and cried, "Jack who?"

"Captain Jack Harkness," Jack chuckled, ducking into the fort.

"Booooo," the Doctor groaned, hitting him with a pillow.

"Oi," Jack cried, "Mind the hair!"

"This is our pillow fort," the Doctor whined, hitting him again, "No Jacks allowed!"

"Not unless you know the password," Sherlock added with a grin.

Jack pretended to think about it for a minute before slowly saying, "Bowties."

"Drat," the Doctor dramatically cried, snapping his fingers, "Alright. You're in."

The others laughed and Mycroft passed the pizza. Jack happily accepted a piece, leaning against a pile of pillows.

"What're you doing here?" Mycroft asked.

"Well," Jack sighed, "We have a slight problem."

"What?"

"If we go by that fancy clock in your room," Jack pointed out, "You should have been back to school two weeks ago!"

"Bloody hell," Mycroft whispered, "I completely forgot about school!"

"But we were suspended," Sherlock pointed out.

"Only for a month," Mycroft reminded him, "And we've been gone for five…"

"They've been calling your father, wondering where you are," Jack lazily said.

"Hang on," Mycroft said, "How do you know that?"

"Oh, I have tabs on your house," Jack casually replied, looking surprised that he didn't know, "Torchwood surveillance. That's how I knew that your father was starting trouble a few weeks ago and how I was able to get down there to stop the angry mob."

"You're watching our house?" Mycroft cried.

"Sure," Jack shrugged, "Word to the wise, Mycroft: If you're ever worried about somebody starting trouble or getting into trouble, put a bloody good amount of cameras and microphones around their house. That way you can keep a close eye on them."

"Huh," Mycroft muttered, "Alright. I'll remember that."

He would.

"Anyway," Jack continued, "Your father finally said that he wanted to know where "that blasted Doctor" was. So I went up and knocked on the door, thinking that I could at least act as the messenger. I must admit, for somebody who is usually a formal stick in the mud, your father certainly has a colorful vocabulary."

Sherlock and Mycroft both laughed at that. They could imagine their father's face when he saw exactly who was standing on the doorstep.

Jack grinned and exclaimed, "He finally told me that since I was the one who granted permission for you two to travel with the Doctor, it was my problem."

"So you came here," the Doctor finished with a smile, "To make it our problem."

"Exactly," Jack laughed, grabbing another piece of pizza.

"But I don't want to go back to school!" Sherlock pressed, "We can learn everything here in the Tardis! If we want to learn about the pyramids, we can go to the pyramids. Who needs to study a famous person's biography when you can crash into their living room? Besides, school is boring and my classmates are all idiots!"

"Hey, hey," the Doctor soothingly said, "Sorry to interrupt, Sherlock—I am a fan of passionate rants—but you're worrying about nothing. You don't have to go back to school."

Sherlock sighed with relief.

"Don't worry," the Doctor said with a sly smile, "I have a plan."

() () ()

"Oh good," River brightly said, "I broke out of one prison just to go into another."

Sherlock chuckled at that. It was nice to know that somebody shared his sentiments about school.

"Behave," Mycroft sighed as they approached the building.

"You behave," River teased, "I could ground you."

"Yes Auntie River," Mycroft said in a mockingly innocent voice.

River threw her head back and laughed. The Doctor grinned as they approached the metal detector. He smoothly reached into his pocket, clicking the Sonic to allow them all to pass without sounding the alarm.

"Can you blast my headmaster?" Sherlock excitedly asked.

"No," Mycroft sharply said before River could reply.

Sherlock sighed and asked, "What about the idiots who bullied me? Can you blast them?"

"Sherlock," Mycroft reprimanded, "We're coming here to avoid trouble."

"Humph," Sherlock huffed, "Well that seems mildly ironic."

"How so?"

"Well," Sherlock slowly pointed out, "Five months ago, the Doctor took us away from here so that we could avoid trouble."

The four tried to casually walk down the corridor. They entered the main office and the youngest Holmes brother cringed as he remembered all of the happy days that he had spent waiting for the Headmaster.

The Doctor eagerly crossed to the temp's desk and loudly cried, "Hello there! I am the uncle of Sherlock and Mycroft Holmes. You can call me Uncle Holmes! Or the Doctor! Or, if you wish, you can call me Uncle Doctor."

"Doctor," Mycroft pointedly said.

"That's Uncle Doctor to you!"

"Get to the point, Uncle Doctor!"

"We are here to see Headmaster Piper!"

The temp blinked and muttered, "I'll see if he is available."

Sherlock glared at that blasted poster on the wall. The Doctor and River simultaneously leaned over on either side of him. The Doctor stroked his chin, as if observing a magnificent piece of art.

"Flowers don't smile," River slowly mused.

"No," Mycroft lightly said, "They don't, do they?"

"Well," the Doctor slowly said, "We don't know that for sure. I'm quite certain that there are planets where flowers show emotion. But even if that was the case, what are the odds that every single flower is happy?"

"Thank you!" Sherlock cried.

"Ahem!"

Headmaster Piper had appeared, looking flustered and frustrated to see them.

The Doctor straightened up and said, "You do realize that flowers don't smile?"

"So I've heard," Piper snapped, giving Sherlock and Mycroft a nasty look.

"Headmaster Piper," Mycroft politely said, "It's…nice to see you again."

"Come on in, then," Piper sighed, "I assume you both have valid reasons as to why you have disappeared off the face of the earth?"

"Literally," Sherlock muttered, causing Mycroft, River, and the Doctor to laugh.

Sherlock wearily glanced around. He hated the Headmaster's office.

"I can explain," the Doctor smoothly said, "You see, these boys were traveling with me."

"We're so sorry that we forgot to call," River added, "It's not as though we live in a giant phone booth or anything."

Mycroft and Sherlock stifled another laugh.

"Anyway," the Doctor cheerfully said, "We are going to be homeschooling Sherlock and Mycroft from now on. So there's no reason for them to come here."

Sherlock cheered and Mycroft nudged him.

"Really?" Piper asked with a sneer, "Well, I'm afraid that it takes a bit more than just saying that you're going to homeschool them. I need legal documents. Forms. Where are they?"

The Doctor scoffed and asked, "Where are they? That's…that's a very good question…"

The door suddenly flew open and Jack joyfully entered.

"Who are you?" Piper spluttered.

"Captain Judge Jack Harkness," Jack exclaimed.

"Oh for the love of—" River sighed.

"You've got to be kidding me," Mycroft groaned.

"Mr. Holmes might have bought it but Piper's not an idiot," the Doctor pointed out.

"Your Honor," Piper gushed, bowing.

"Then again…" the Doctor slowly said.

"I have several legal documents," Jack gleefully cried, showing his Psychic Paper, "Here is a legal document. And here is a legal document. And here's one. And here's another!"

He spun around several times, dramatically flourishing the small piece of paper.

"Also," Jack added, "Flowers don't smile."

Sherlock grinned at that.

"Very well," Piper briskly said, adjusting his tie, "I suppose that everything's in order. I must warn you though—these are two of the most difficult students that I've ever known."

"Thank you," Sherlock said with a smirk.

"Oi," Mycroft cried, "What did I do? Blimey, you tell somebody to go to hell once and the past ten years of your reputation are undone."

Piper all but ignored him and continued, "Not many teachers like them."

"That's alright," River casually said.

"Yeah," the Doctor agreed, ruffling Sherlock's curls, "We like them!"

Sherlock and Mycroft grinned at that.

"Yes…well…" Piper huffed, "At least let me give you Sherlock's records. You'll still have to contact Headmaster Dibble on Mycroft's behalf."

The Doctor curiously skimmed through and cried, "Top marks…well done, Sherlock!"

"Excuse me," Piper snapped, "I think that you'd be more interested in the number of times that he's been in trouble."

"Nope," the Doctor pleasantly said, "I'm definitely more interested in his marks. You're at the top of the class, naturally. Top of the school! 170 IQ! Blimey!"

Sherlock flushed with pride.

"And you still sleep with a teddy bear," River respectfully laughed.

Mycroft smiled at how happy his brother looked.

"I always said that you were brilliant," the Doctor praised.

"Never had a doubt," Jack agreed.

"Thanks," Sherlock gratefully said, his face bright red.

"Come along," the Doctor boomed, "Time to get back to the universe!"

"In a minute," River slyly said, "Sherlock and I have to do something."

"We do?" Sherlock asked.

"Yep," River cheerfully said, dragging him along, "Meet you back at the Tardis!"

Mycroft, Jack, and the Doctor glanced at one another, both amused and confused. They shrugged and made their way down the corridor. Mycroft paused to glance out the window, towards the swings. It seemed like ages ago that the Tardis had reappeared.

The Doctor stopped and gently asked, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Mycroft bashfully said, "I just…I…"

"Well, helllllo," Jack interrupted as a woman passed, "Who is she?"

Mycroft snorted and muttered, "That's the school nurse."

"Helllllo, nurse!" Jack called, smoothly going after her, "I'd let you give me a checkup any day."

Mycroft laughed and shook his head.

"Sorry about that," the Doctor chuckled, "What were you saying?"

"Nothing," Mycroft replied with a smile, "Just…thanks for coming back for us, Doctor."

"You never have to thank me," the Doctor reminded him.

Before Mycroft could say anything, River and Sherlock raced up the hall.

"Go, go, go, go, go," River quickly said, "Go!"

The Doctor and Mycroft ran alongside them, collecting Jack along the way.

"What did you do?" Mycroft accused.

"Nothing," River cried, "Nothing! I may have blasted Anderson! Nothing!"

"You WHAT?" Mycroft yelped.

"On to Mycroft's school," the Doctor laughed.

"You…you…I…" Mycroft didn't even know what to say.

Sherlock seemed to know exactly what to say, "Flowers don't smile!"