Love Rectangle Plus One (Whatever That Is)

Chapter 12: Kill the Messenger

Nathan was holed up in his room trying hard to concentrate on anything but how he was feeling. He had listened to music, watched TV, played NBA live, and even attempted his homework before realizing what a pussy he was being. He threw himself across the bed trying to get her face out of his mind. It was everywhere. He sighed thinking how a month ago, he hadn't given a shit about her. But now it was like he was being swallowed deeper and deeper. Everything about her made him want to be a better person. And the worst thing was he knew he could never have her.

"Haley," he whispered quietly loving the sound of her name against his lips.

"What," a confused voice asked.

Nathan looked up and saw Jake standing in his doorway staring at him with a strange expression on his face. Nathan swallowed hard, his eyes bulging. The last thing he needed was someone knowing how he felt. Especially someone who he knew had at one point liked Haley. He nodded awkwardly at Jake, not trusting his voice.

"I just came to talk to you about Peyton."

"Oh," Nathan said stupidly realizing he was in even more shit.

"It was kinda of assholish what you did to her."

"Yeah I know," Nathan said really feeling guilty, "I just couldn't do it," he finished his voice choking.

"Clearly," Jake said snarkily.

Nathan felt his face flame and knew there was no point in hiding it or denying it. He just kept silent.

"I think it's great Nate. You get to hurt all of mine and Lucas's friends," Jake said sarcastically.

"I don't want to hurt Haley," he said softly.

"Right," Jake laughed bitterly, "Just like you didn't mean to hurt Brooke by cheating on her with her best friend," he finished up yelling.

"It's not like that," Nathan shouted hating himself for having such a reputation and hating everyone else for thinking he didn't feel anything either, "She's different."

Jake shook his head. "Even more reason for you to stay the hell away. You'll hurt her too."

Nathan felt a pit in his stomach. Jake had hit him hard. He knew he wasn't good enough for Haley. He knew she would never want him, and he knew he could never have her.

"You don't think I know that," he screamed letting all of it out, "You don't think I know it's hopeless. I get it. She'll never want me. So why don't you go worry about something else, because I can guarantee Haley will be fine."

"You better not tell Brooke or Peyton about this. You know they'll hate you."

Nathan sighed. No one believed what he felt was real. No one got it. "I won't," he said forcefully.

Jake nodded and turned around and left. Nathan let himself fall back on to the bed and continued to see her in his mind. He whispered her name one last time before sinking into sleep. The only place he could be with her.

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"Hey sexy," Brooke called as she walked into Lucas's room and met his lips in a devastating kiss. Lucas smiled against her face. How he had ever lived without her was so beyond him.

"Whoa Brooke slow down," he laughed settling them both onto the bed.

"What's the point," she asked laughing bringing his mouth onto hers again. Lucas relaxed against it and kissed her back fiercely.

"Ahem," a voice interrupted.

"Uh mom, hi," Lucas said clearly embarrassed as he stumbled to put distance between him and Brooke."

"Lucas," she said trying hard not to smile, "And you must be Brooke."

"Yep," Brooke said chirpily, "And we were about to go on our date."

"Right," Karen said looking them both up and down.

"We're leaving now," Lucas said finally finding his voice.

"Be back by 11," Karen said shaking her head hiding a smile and leaving the room.

Brooke laughed and dragged Lucas outside. Together they walked to her house to spend some quality time with Brooke's hot tub slash liquor cabinet. Well at least that's what Brooke wanted to do. Lucas would have pretty much followed here anywhere.

As they approached the house, Lucas caught a glimpse of a girl walking away from the front porch. He grimaced inwardly as she turned and caught sight of them. Brooke noticed too.

"What are you doing here?" she asked lividly.

"I came to talk to you," the girl said looking down at the ground, the moonlight illuminating her blonde hair.

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Brooke please just listen to me," she pleaded sending Lucas a look to intervene. Lucas sighed in response. "Brooke please for me," he said quietly.

Brooke glared at Lucas, but relented. "Fine," she said sullenly.

"I'll wait inside," Lucas said kissing her cheek softly knowing that Brooke would want to deal with this outside the house.

She nodded softening a little. Her gaze followed him until he was inside when she turned back to the girl in front of her. "What do you want Peyton?" she asked tiredly.

"I'm just sorry. I miss you," Peyton said hoping to find some warmth at all.

"Look Peyton," Brooke said softly, "I know you're going through a lot. I know it's been hard. But you hurt me so much."

"Can't we try Brooke," Peyton said breaking down as a few tears started to fall.

Brooke's warmth and understanding suddenly deserted her. "Peyton you betrayed me. I can't make you undo that. I can't say everything's ok because it's not. And it won't be."

"You don't have to throw away a 10 year friendship over some guy you're not in love with anyway," Peyton shouted in frustration. She knew the comment stung.

Brooke's face turned purple in a rage but she calmed herself realizing it wasn't worth it. "How could I even think you'd understand?" She got up and walked inside her house leaving Peyton alone shivering.

Peyton cursed herself inwardly. She knew she shouldn't have tried to talk to her. She had only done it for Jake and it had completely backfired just like she knew it would. Peyton never felt more alone.

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Haley sat at her desk chair, her face peering at math homework spread over the desk. She started to write an answer when a pattering on the window jerked her making the pencil make a zigzag movement across the chair. She turned around lightening fast but let out a large breath of air when she saw Nathan tapping on her window.

"What are you doing here?" she asked confused as she pulled the window open and let him in.

"Seeing you," he smiled almost shyly.

"Oh," Haley blushed trying to ignore the quickening pace of her heartbeat. "You could have used the front door."

Nathan shrugged as if to say who cares.

"So you're seeing me. What can I do for you?" Haley asked.

"I just wanted to see you," he explained.

"Why?" Haley asked laughing wondering why someone like Nathan Scott wanted to see her outside of their tutoring.

"Because you're my friend,' he said nonchalantly but secretly hoping she wasn't offended.

Haley blushed furiously. "I.. I um thank you."

Nathan laughed. "Look I know you think I'm a jerk. But I want you to know I'm trying. I don't want to be that guy anymore."

"You're not," Haley said simply gazing up at him.

"Why do you always do that?" Nathan asked sounding slightly annoyed but laughing at the same time.

"What?" Haley asked self-consciously.

"Make me feel like somewhere inside me is this amazing person who hasn't made a ton of people's lives hell."

"I like to believe the best in people," Haley said shrugging.

"You're so beautiful," Nathan said before he could stop himself. He was so taken by her goodness.

Haley froze. She couldn't have heard him right. It wasn't possible. Nathan Scott thought she was beautiful.

"I guess I should go," Nathan said awkwardly wanting to smack himself. He couldn't believe he had said that. He was trying to get over this girl not blurt out confessions.

"No it's ok," Haley said smiling breaking from her trance, "Thank you," she leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Nathan grinned almost dorkily. "You're welcome," he said lost as he stared into her eyes. She looked back at him in a trance by his too. And at that moment Haley James knew that she felt something for Nathan Scott. And she really had no desire to hide it.

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Lucas sat on his bed sighing softly. He thought back on the night. Brooke had been in a bad mood after her talk with Peyton. He had tried to comfort her but she just told him he should go home. He knew she was still a little mad that he had forced her to talk to Peyton. Although he hadn't been friendly with the girls when their friendship was good, he knew that the two had really cared for each other and shared a lot. It was sad to see them go though stuff like that. He sighed again and leaned back onto his pillow wishing he could do more. As he was drifting off into sleep, he heard a knock on his door. He got up and found Jake outside.

"I'm sorry to bother you man but I really need to talk to you."

"Sure come in. Is everything ok with you?"

"With me yeah, but not with everything?"

"Is it Brooke or Peyton?" Lucas asked concern and fear running through his words.

"No. It's your brother."

Lucas groaned. "What'd he do now?"

"He likes Haley," Jake spat out disgustedly.

Lucas's first reaction was to punch Nathan in the face. His second was to scream. Instead he stared crazily at Jake. "You're serious?"

"Dead serious."

Lucas calmed down a little. He knew Nathan was trying to become a better person and he knew Haley cared for Nathan. But that didn't mean he wanted them together. Nathan didn't exactly have the best track record with girls.

"What are you going to do about it?" Jake asked breaking Lucas's thoughts.

"I don't know," Lucas said shaking his head, "But I don't want him to hurt Haley."

"He says she's different," Jake said sarcastically.

"She is," Lucas said softly. "Wait Jake, are you sure you're over her? You're not upset because you still want to go out with her."

"We're just friends Luke. But after seeing two of my other best friends get their heart broken by Nathan Scott, I really don't want to see it happen to a third girl."

"I know." Lucas sighed. "I'll have to talk to him. Keep him away. I don't want anything to happen to Haley."

"Exactly."