Love Rectangle Plus One (Whatever That Is)

This is dedicated to my advisory girls, who are possibly the best fans ever. Abby, Amy, Ariel, Gabbie, Lena, Manuela, Olivia, Sabrina � hearts to all of you.

Chapter 13: From My Head to My Heart

"This is amazing Nathan," Haley said the next morning at school as she handed him back the quiz he had aced and proudly shown to her.

"You're amazing," he replied.

Haley blushed deeply but smiled up at him. "Thanks," she murmured softly.

He smiled back and stared at her with his big blue ocean eyes.

She shivered under his gaze and he reached out his hand to gently stroke her arm, assuming she was cold. Haley couldn't deny the even deeper shivers and tingles that ran through her, when he did that.

"Do you want to hang out after school?" she spontaneously asked not sure what had come over her.

Nathan looked at her surprised, but happiness was definitely imprinted onto his face. "Yes," he answered simply.

"You know just for more tutoring," Haley explained weakly hoping she hadn't sounded too forward.

Nathan's eyes dimmed just a little but he nodded. "Sure."

"Good, okay well I better go but I'll see you later," Haley said standing up still feeling a bit awkward.

Nathan nodded, "Oh and I have practice so you want to meet at the docks at like 6?"

"Yeah that's perfect." She smiled one last time in his direction, and Nathan couldn't help but smile back.

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Jake sat down next to Brooke and Lucas at lunch giving each of them smiles. Brooke smiled back but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Jake immediately got worried. He had hated seeing Brooke after what Nathan had done, and even though she was with Lucas now, he still desperately wanted to protect her.

"Are you ok Brooke?" he asked gently noticing that she was clutching Lucas's hand tightly. Jake looked hesitantly at Lucas who shook his had sadly.

"I just, I hate what happened," she replied cryptically.

"Peyton came to talk to her last night," Lucas explained.

"Oh." Jake nodded sympathetically but inside he was a little elated that Peyton had actually taken his advice.

"I shouldn't be upset about this," Brooke said laughing strangely.

"It's ok babe," Lucas said kissing her forehead.

"Did something happen?" Haley asked walking over and noticing the unhappy expressions displayed prominently on her friends' faces.

"Peyton apologized, and I want to forgive her so much and be friends again, but I can't. It hurts too much. I know I shouldn't give up our history, but isn't she the one who destroyed it first?"

"Yes, but its up to you forgive her and move on with your life. Don't get stuck in the past," Haley advised realizing that a lot of it was hope about her and Nathan. She frowned inwardly for being selfish, but she knew Brooke would be pissed if she knew Haley liked him.

"Everything has just happened so fast."

"Hey it's ok," Lucas said calming her, "We're all here for you. We know it hurts. You just have to be you Brooke. Give it time."

"Thanks Broody," she said softly and gave him a small kiss. "You too guys," she said smiling at Jake and Haley.

"Anytime," Jake replied as Haley smiled back.

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"Nathan, I need to talk to you."

Nathan turned and came face to face with his brother. It was after practice in the locker room, and Nathan was changing quickly into his clothes so he wouldn't be late to meet Haley.

"Jake came to talk to you," Nathan sighed expertly guessing at the truth.

Lucas nodded fiercely. Nathan had been expecting this. He knew Jake would run and tell Lucas everything, because Lucas was so overprotective over Haley. Of course, he had hoped he wouldn't, but even Nathan knew how farfetched that was. He was dreading this talk, and now that it was here, all he wanted to do was tell Lucas to shut the fuck up, and then go and do what he wanted. But Lucas was his brother. And that counted for something. He owed it to him to listen, especially for Haley's sake.

"I can't help how I feel Luke," Nathan said sighing again.

"Nathan this is Haley."

"I know."

"No you don't! She's one of my best friends, and I don't want her to get hurt. I know what you can do. And I'm not subjecting her to that."

"She's different."

"I know and that's why you can go sleep with whatever girl you want. But not Haley. She's special, and you don't deserve her."

Nathan winced. "I don't want to sleep with some random girl. I want to be with Haley," he said stressing his syllables hard.

"No offense Nathan, but your track record doesn't speak too highly for you."

"You don't think I know that Lucas?" Nathan asked angrily, "But I want to be a better person and like I said before, I can't help how I feel."

"You really think it'll be that easy to change? Guys like you don't change Nathan. You'll end up hurting her. And no matter how much you like her, you'll cheat on her too. I won't let you do that to Haley. I won't let you do it to a third girl I care about."

Nathan stared back at him, all his confidence and security out the window. He wasn't good enough for Haley. How could he have ever thought he was? What kind of crack was he smoking? She was like a perfect angel, and he was anything but. He blinked hard ridding himself of the tears that had started to form. And he never cried.

"So stay away from her. She can tutor you, but nothing more. Do you get it?" Lucas continued.

"I get it."

"Good." Lucas gave him one last pitiful glance before walking away.

Nathan stared after him and sank onto the bench. He sat there for a few minutes in silence alone. Finally he stood up, got dressed, and walked slowly out. His feet dragged him to the parking lot. He entered his car, and his body and brain directed him towards his house, but his heart kept begging to go to the docks, but the rest of his being overruled it, and he was left alone in the darkness of the Scott residence.

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After practice, Jake headed to Peyton's house. He was so grateful that she had tried to make an effort with Brooke even if it had failed miserably. He walked quickly inside. He assumed she was at home, since there was no other place she could really be, but the house was deathly silent.

"Peyton are you here?" he called up a little scared.

No answer. He hurriedly climbed up the stairs until he pushed open her door out of breath. She was lying on the bed staring at her ceiling.

"Hey," she finally said as he caught his breath.

"You ok?"

"Yep," she nodded.

"I heard about Brooke."

"Whatever."

"I'm glad you tried for me."

"I tried for myself too."

"I know, but I'm still glad. So thanks."

"I hope she forgives me one day. I hope we get past this. I know what I did was wrong, but I want to be her friend. I need to be her friend."

"I know Peyt," Jake said softly, "And until then I'm here for you."

Peyton nodded blinking away the tears that had started to fall. She let him wrap his arms around her tightly. "Thanks Jake."

He nodded against her shoulder and held her close. "I love you," he impulsively whispered into her ear

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It was late at night. Haley was trying to sleep in her bed, but she kept tossing and turning. Her feelings were in turmoil and she had no idea what to do. She sighed softly and closed her eyes tighter trying to erase all thoughts, but to no avail. Her eyes popped open as she heard the pattering of glass. The sound continued, and Haley stood up slowly adjusting to the movement of her limbs again. She came to the window and saw a dark figure perched on a tree branch right outside her window. Nathan.

Nathan had been trying to forget it all. He had listened to what Lucas said and felt horrible. He couldn't hurt her; he wasn't good enough for her; ran through his head like broken records. But he couldn't take it anymore. He liked Haley, and he needed to tell her. Even if she rejected him, it was better than being a coward. He was tired of suffering for what had happened with Brooke and Peyton. Sure he had been a jackass, but he wasn't that guy anymore. He couldn't be. Haley had changed him. And he owed it to her to say how he felt.

"Nathan what are you doing here?" Haley hissed anger apparent in her voice.

Nathan swung his legs in through the opening and slid down until he was standing next to her in her room. "I had to see you."

"Right, and that's why you never showed up today," Haley said sarcastically shaking her head.

"I wanted to but I just couldn't!" Nathan yelled frustrated from everything.

Haley narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean you couldn't?" she scoffed.

"Lucas told me to stay away from you. He said you were too good for me, and I'd hurt you like I hurt everyone else. That I'd just cheat on you, no matter how much I cared about you."

"And you listened?" Haley asked angrily.

"It's true," Nathan said bowing his head down in shame.

"No it's not!" she yelled. "I can make my own decisions Nathan. I can be with whoever I want. And if I want to be with you, then it's none of Lucas's effing business. I hate being put on this pedestal where no one is good enough for me. You all of people should know that. You should know what it feels like to have everyone make assumptions about you." Haley stared at him pain and frustration running in circles across her face. She shook her head slowly at the sad expression he gave back to her. "Just forget it," she said turning and starting to walk back to her bed.

Nathan grabbed her wrist so hard that Haley whimpered in pain, and turned her back to him. "I don't want to forget it."

"I don't care Nathan. I've done all I can. I've put myself out there for you, and you've blown it each successive time. There's nothing else you could possibly do or say."

Haley struggled to break free from his grasp, but suddenly she felt herself pinned against her wall with Nathan looking deeply into her eyes. He gazed at her face, and brought his fingers up to stroke her face until letting them fall down to her chin, her neck and finally her collarbone. Haley peered into Nathan's eyes entranced by his caresses.

"I… let me go," she managed to whisper weakly.

Nathan shook his head slowly, his eyes smiling down at her. He placed his hands squarely on her shoulders and gazed at her lovely face once more before he leaned closer and closer until their lips were milliseconds apart, and then he crashed his mouth against hers.

Haley quickly broke away and managed to escape from his hold on her. "You shouldn't have done that Nathan," she croaked.

"But I wanted to."

She stared up at him and couldn't contain the mess of emotions that were running rampant through her. She lifted her feet and jumped into his arms, and kissed him back inhaling everything of him she possibly could. Nathan held her tightly not breaking away for a second and never wanting to let go.