Episode 19: I'm Still Here
"And you see the things they never see, all you wanted, I could be. Now you know me, and I'm not afraid. And I want to tell you who I am. Can you help me be a man? They can't break me as long as I know who I am…"
-"I'm Still Here" by John Rzeznik

X Tsunayoshi Sawada X

Najika was quiet the entire time that they headed back to the future. Even Chrome and Belphegor were worried about her. But Bel couldn't go with them. "Sorry. I'll be back soon, and as soon as I am, I'll call," she apologized quietly, squeezing Bel's hand a little tighter.

Bel laughed a little and let her hand fall back to her side. "You'd better, Naji-hime." He waved a little and he and Mammon walked off. "I'll be waiting by the phone~" he called back, smirking.

The tiniest of smiles finally appeared on Najika's face. "It's time to go," she said, walking towards the 10-Year Bazooka. "We shouldn't dawdle anymore." Heaving it up, she faced all of them.

Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.

With Lambo and I-Pin already in the future, Najika shot the others one at a time. She turned to Tsuna with an apologetic look. "I have to leave as soon as we get back," she reminded him.

He nodded. "I have to ask though. Are you sure that you're okay? You don't have to bear the burden of those memories by yourself."

"Your wrong," she replied shortly. "I have to change this myself. But I'll be okay." She managed a small, weak smile at Tsuna before turning the Bazooka on herself. "See you soon, I hope."

Bang.

Then there were two. Only Tsuna and Reborn were left. Hibari wasn't there. Almost an hour later, Hibari still hadn't shown up. "Time's up." Reborn jumped and kicked Tsuna into the Bazooka, with the Arcobaleno following quickly.

When Tsuna looked up, he saw that he really was back in the future. Everyone had returned safely, even Hibari. The only one who wasn't there was Najika. "Um… Did Najika-chan come?"

Shoichi nodded. "Yeah. But she left."

X Najika Kamiya X

It was probably wrong of me to leave, especially when everything was just getting started. But I promised that I'd prepare to help with something. I couldn't back down from that promise I made to Fran.

He was there to greet me, along with Bel and Hikaru. Bel walked up to me and said, "I heard from the Arcobaleno… Lal Mirch… that you went back to the past for a week. You could've died, you idiot!"

"It's the past, Bel," I replied dryly. "Nothing there could hurt me physically."

Fran deadpanned, "Well, we have good news. Mukuro Roduko is still alive, and we have a mission to gather his lackeys and break him from Vendicare prison." Okay, now I was the least bit shocked. "Yes, that Vendicare prison."

I shrugged and walked inside the castle. "I'm going to try and contact Sakkaku-kun, so please don't bother me."

If Mukuro was still alive, I could probably still contact him. I locked all my doors and windows and even went as far as put on some headphones to block out all noise. Lying down on the comfortable bed, I let my eyes close and my mind wander, searching for Mukuro Roduko.

-flash-

I was walking along a beach that looked strangely like the one on Namimori Island. I looked around. Not many people knew how much I really liked that place. I smiled a little and put my feet into the water. The wind blew through my hair and I pushed the brown locks out of my face.

A familiar laugh made me turn around and see the illusionist. He looked much older than I remember, but of course, that was to be expected.

His white shirt blew a little, along with his long blue hair. I smiled a little. "Welcome to my dream, Kanari-chan," he greeted, holding out his hand.

"I thought you were dead. I came searching for you because I met two people who told me otherwise."

He shrugged. "It's all a part of the illusion, my dear Kanari-chan." Of course, I remember him being the drama queen he always was. "You didn't just come here to check up on me. You came to find out if what you saw was real, right?"

I nodded a little. "I saw what I did. I did horrible things, but Tsuna-kun was still able to smile at me and say that he didn't think it was my fault. Did I ever confide in you? Why I did it?"

Mukuro sighed a little. "Let's have a seat." I found myself sitting on a park bench. Namimori Park. "Well, to answer your questions, you told me some things, but never the entire picture."

Tucking my knees into my chest, I let my head rest on his shoulder. "What was I able to tell you?"

I felt Mukuro's arm hug me from the side. "You told me that you had to tell someone something. I assumed that you were forced to tell Byakuran all of the information you had on the Vongola's movements. You looked scared when you said that. I think he was forcing you."

"Anything else?"

Mukuro looked up and sighed. "The day before the meeting with the Millefiore, you came here and met me. You told me that you were meeting a few old friends for a friendly chat. You said that you had a bad feeling about the meeting. You knew something bad was going to happen. You just didn't think that it would result in the little Mafioso's death."

So I knew the entire time. "I…"

He looked down at me and asked, "If you had all of those memories given back to you, why did you need to ask me what happened?"

I put my head in my hand and replied, "There's certain parts of my memory that are clear as day, but other parts are like a hazy dream. I don't know what's real and what's not. I can't think straight when I try to pull up anything but what's clear." My head started pounding again when I said that.

"You tried?" I nodded. "What did you try to remember?"

I sighed again. "Little things, stuff that would make someone like me happy. I tried to remember Kaito's first word or first step, or something like that. I tried to remember my graduation from Namimori Middle, or the day Tsuna really became the Vongola Juudaime. But nothing I didn't already see wasn't available."

Mukuro laughed a little. "Well, let's put that to the side for a while. There's someone here I want you to see." He beckoned to someone and a small figure came walking out of the mist surrounding the entire park. He was short, and very boyish.

"Hayato?" I asked, staring at the boy.

No, it wasn't Hayato. This boy had blue eyes, not green. "No, Kanari-chan. This is your nephew, Kaito Gokudera," Mukuro supplied.

Kaito walked up to Mukuro and me. "Muku-chan? Who is this?" he asked quietly, staring up at me. He looked just like Hayato, except for the blue eyes. "Is she a friend of yours?"

Mukuro picked the boy up and put him on his lap. "This is you aunt, Kanari-chan. She's your mother's sister." That boy's name was Kaito Gokudera. The same name as my future son. My eyes widened. That was a lie from Mukuro, that he was my nephew. This boy was my future son. "You won't be able to see her for a while, but doesn't she look like you mother?"

The silver-haired boy nodded happily. "Yeah! But why can't I see her a lot?" He pouted childishly, and Mukuro chuckled. Even his pout made him look like Hayato. I smiled gently, but I didn't know what to tell him.

"I'm not in the country right now," I found myself saying. Every word out of my mouth was a lie, but it was better than him knowing what actually happened. "But your mother asked me to make sure you're okay."

He smiled a little, but it soon fell off his face, leaving a look of hurt and disappointment. "You know what happened to my mom, don't you?" His voice was quiet and I exchanged a helpless look with Mukuro. "She and dad disappeared around a week after Tsuna-nii-san's death." I flinched a little. "They're dead, aren't they?" he whispered, looking down.

Growing up in the Mafia probably robbed my son of his childhood. He probably was already a fighter, a Ring-bearer. I sighed. "No, they're not dead." At least, Hayato wasn't. "They just had to leave for a while. For business."

"I'm not stupid," he replied quickly, but sadly. "I know about certain Mafia weapons. Lambo-nii-san taught me about this… um, bazooka. A 10-Year Bazooka. It switches someone with their ten years future or past self. Are you my mother from the past?"

My eyes widened. He really was a smart kid. "Yeah… you inherited your dad's brains, didn't you, Kai?" He began crying. My look softened a little. "Come here." He crawled off Mukuro's lap into mine. "Right now, I'm only ten years older than you. But I won't lie. Your mother is my future self. Are you trained?"

He nodded. "Dad is teaching me how to use knives, like Bel-nii-san." Ah, Bel. "And I have a Rain Box Weapon named Bofuu. He's a bunny!" A bunny? "He's really cool, too! He can breathe fire and make huge waves!"

I smiled a little at his enthusiasm. "You're awfully quiet, Mukuro." He laughed a little and I looked up at his mismatched eyes. "What does he know about what's happening right now?"

Mukuro scoffed. "More than that cow-brat, that's for sure," the illusionist replied dryly, grimacing.

I was about to reply, but a strong voice cut through my dream. "No. We're just taking a breather." I knew that voice… "The all-out attack in Italy and the raid on Melone Base in Japan… were a ton of fun." Byakuran. "I was able to witness the true strength of the Vongola squad. Very productive for a preliminary skirmish." What? Just a preliminary skirmish? This wasn't possible… "It was also entertaining to watch Sho-chan try to fool me at Melone Base." So he knew all along that Shoichi wasn't really part of the Millefiore family? "Yep, it was plain as day. Though it was a good plan to use this battle as an opportunity to switch sides. And to be honest, I never expected you to join forces with the Vongola. But I knew you'd become my enemy one day, Sho-chan. After all, you've always disapproved of my actions, Sho-chan."

I quickly covered Kaito's ears. He didn't need to know this yet. "Here we go. Well, do as you like. We'll soon see which one of us is right." Damn you, Millefiore! "Still, you have curious taste. Entrusting the fate of the world to the young and naïve Vongola Juudaime." Young and naïve? Tsuna is more of a boss than Byakuran would ever be! "Honestly, it would be simple to throw my resources at you relentlessly and whittle the Vongola down. But you've managed to entertain me so far. Besides, it hurts my pride as a leader when my second in command jumps ship." I saw Mukuro's hands clench into fists and his eyes narrow angrily. "So I figure we should have a proper match. An official contest between the Vongola Family, led by Tsunayoshi Sawada, and my Millefiore Family." What the hell? A contest? Of all things? "With the 7^3 Policy on the line, of course." No… "The timing is perfect… for a ceremony to bid farewell to Sho-chan and the old world and ring in a new one."

The true shock came when Byakuran revealed that the five of the six Funeral Wreaths, including Rasiel, who was the one that we had faced, were not the real Funeral Wreaths. One by one, Byakuran showed their identities.

This was all a game to him. I leaned down to Kaito. "Make sure to contact Mukuro in the future. Here. I'm giving you my phone number. Call me whenever you feel like it." I shoed him away, and he quickly gave me a hug and scurried off.

"What's up, Mukuro?" I asked. I put a hand on his in hopes that he'd calm himself.

He growled, "That bastard… Be sure get a hit in for me, Kanari-chan." He gave me a soft smile before fading. "I'll be waiting for you on the other side of the dream."

I jolted up out of bed. Looking around, I noticed that I hadn't been sleeping for very long, even though it felt like hours in the dream. I shook the sleep out of my mind and walked downstairs. In the living room, everyone was standing there. When I showed up, they all looked at me.

"Ah! So Najika-chan has finally decided to show up!" Byakuran. "Hello again, Miss Najika Kamiya." Even though it was just a hologram, I could still feel his eyes boring into mine menacingly. "You know, your friends are going to die in this contest."

Owari.

It's short, and I'm so sorry about that. But this chapter was, and is, a very important turning point for Najika, Kaito, and Mukuro. It also introduces the first interactions between Najika and Byakuran that weren't memories.

And I've gotten a few notes, both reviews and PM's, about Najika's memories not being "traumatic" enough. They're supposed to be upsetting to her, not traumatic. See, Najika has already betrayed her friends once, during the Ring Battles, and a close friend of hers almost died because of her betrayal. For her to find out that, once again, she made the same mistakes and Tsuna actually did die because of her tore her apart inside. Plus the fact that it caused everyone to start to hate her. Najika's biggest fear is being alone, if you haven't noticed yet. So the memories might not seem traumatic to you, but put yourself in Najika's shoes and try to imagine everyone you love pitting themselves against you, then knowing that you were the "reason" that this all began to happen.

For those of you that have watched or read the KHR series, then you know what actually happened.

So... yeah.

Updates are coming steadily! Reviews are welcomed! Flames are used to warm up the hot chocolate!