Love Rectangle Plus One (Whatever That Is)
Chapter 22: The Secret's In the Telling
Brooke arrived early at school the next day, which was definitely not her custom, but she knew it was Haley's. Although she knew she had every right to be feeling shitty and be bitchy in this situation, Brooke still felt bad for how she had treated Haley. She had made it seem like Haley had to choose between Brooke and Lucas, and Brooke did not want that. She knew Haley was her friend, and that she wouldn't betray her like that. So it was time to apologize or at least let Haley know that they were friends and nothing was changing that.
"Hey," Brooke said sheepishly as she came close to the table Haley was sitting at. Haley turned, her hair blowing in the wind, and smiled, but Brooke could still detect a bit of sadness in it. "Look I'm sorry that…" she began but Haley held up her palm and cut her off.
"Don't worry about it Brooke. You were just hurting. But you need to know that I love both you and Lucas and I'm not taking sides. What he did was wrong, and I told him so, and we're okay. So just know I'm your friend, and I'm not going to throw that away.
Brooke smiled. "I knew you wouldn't. I guess I was just unsure about everything. And did you really tell Lu…" her voice broke off, "him that?"
Haley laughed. "Oh and I slapped him too," she replied winking at Brooke.
Brooke grinned but it was quickly wiped from her face as she began to think about Lucas. She was so scared of everything he had done, and of everything that could happen. Things were in such turmoil, and she didn't know if it would all be alright again.
"I know you're hurting Brooke," Haley said putting her hand on Brooke's arm, "But it will get better."
"It just sucks Haley, to lose something so special. I loved him. I do love him, but I hate him now for everything. It's like everything's gone. Sometimes I blame myself for giving up our love but then I think that he tainted it from the beginning. I don't know, but I do know losing something like that sucks so badly. Especially, if the bad could have been averted by just telling the truth."
Haley stared hard at Brooke. Everything she was saying was like a kick to Haley's stomach. She had left Nathan with no visible explanation just because she couldn't handle everything. Yes she cared for him deeply, and she knew she was being childish by not letting them clean about their relationship, yet she really didn't want to lose her friends and respect. Or carry the burden of being Nathan Scott's girlfriend. It was all just too much. Too much. Haley shook her head, tired of all her conflicted thoughts.
"Do you really believe that Brooke? What if relationships and love just get to be too much?
Brooke smiled sadly. "If you really care about the person than nothing else should matter. You shouldn't worry about what other people want. You need to listen to your heart. You don't know how much I wish I could go back and force Lucas to be honest with me so none of this could've happened. Because losing the person you love for something as stupid as being afraid to tell the truth, well that's just silly."
Haley swallowed. "You're right Brooke," she said softly, "And just so you know, I'm really sorry about everything with you and Lucas."
"I know," Brooke sighed, "Me too. Me too."
--
"Hey boyfriend," Peyton said happily sitting down next to Jake at lunch and giving him a quick peck on the lips.
"You sound like Brooke," Jake replied grinning.
"Yeah," Peyton said lazily before becoming quiet contemplating.
"It's gonna be okay, Peyt," Jake said soothingly rubbing her shoulders tenderly.
Peyton relaxed under his touch. "I know. I just miss happy fun Brooke. It sucks to see her so down, and to know that I'm partially if not primarily responsible for it."
"You can't erase the past Peyton. All you can hope for is to do better in the future."
Peyton nodded. "And I plan to. I'm going to be the best redeemed ex-best friend I can be."
"That's the spirit," Jake smiled and leaned down to give her another kiss.
"God get a room," a voice teased, and Jake and Peyton looked up to see Haley standing there.
"You're just mad because you still want me James," Jake teased.
"Jake!" Peyton hissed sending an apologetic look Haley's way. Haley simply smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes.
"So where's Brooke?" Peyton asked.
"She needed to talk to Mouth about something."
"How's she doing?" Jake chimed in.
Haley sighed. "Alright I guess. She's having a tough time with everything, but she's being strong," Haley replied still standing above them awkwardly.
"Hmm," Peyton frowned in thought.
"You can sit down if you want to," Jake said with a welcoming smile, "You don't have to just stand there." He chuckled with his words.
Haley smiled yet again it didn't quite reach her eyes. "No it's okay. I just wanted to let you know about Brooke. I think I um have somewhere to go." She disappeared quietly.
"Is it just me or does something seem off with her?" Peyton asked.
"Yeah," Jake said softly, having a pretty good idea of who was bothering her, but no real idea of what in particular.
"Oh well," Peyton said casually tossing it off before going back to alternately eating and kissing her boyfriend.
--
"Ok Brooke what's up?" Mouth asked still not able to get the shock out of his voice. It wasn't every day that the prettiest most popular girl in school dragged him away from his lunch table to have a 'private' conversation with him in a secluded spot near the gym.
"I uh… well you were just really helpful yesterday and I was wondering…" Brooke's voice trailed off.
"If I could listen to you and maybe give you advice."
"Yeah," Brooke said shyly which was rare for her, "I um, I'm not very good at asking for help," she admitted.
"It's cool, Brooke. So what's going on?"
"Well," Brooke said delicately, choosing her words carefully, "You know Lucas and I got into a fight. And I love him I really do, but what he did, it hurt so much, and I don't know if I can trust him again. You were right that I should let him apologize, but I'm scared. I'm scared because I have to tell him some things too, and I really don't know what to do."
"Well firstly you need to remember that Lucas cares about you. And that he feels terrible about what he did. And the only thing you need to do is tell him exactly how you feel and how he hurt you. Be honest because openness is the most important thing, and I know you want Lucas to be honest back."
Brooke started to tear up at how hard Mouth's words were hitting at the truth. Mouth noticed Brooke's tears and immediately felt bad.
"Oh Brooke I'm sorry. Forget what I'm saying, I have no idea what I'm talking about."
"No no it's okay. It's fine," she reassured although a few wandering tears stained her cheeks, "I just… what you said is right."
"Oh okay," Mouth said still a little confused but glad he had helped her in some way, "Are you going to be alright?"
"Yeah," Brooke said giving him a small little smile before waving her goodbye and walking back to the quad.
--
Lucas banged the ball as hard as he could against the glossy gym floor. He hated practice. He hated having to see her and not being able to go up and talk to her and touch her. It felt way too much like the beginning of the year, except then she had barely acknowledged his existence and now she loved him but hated him as well. Lucas pounded the ball deeper into the court. He could handle Brooke being mad at him. He could handle them being apart for awhile if she needed to regain his trust. But he could not at all deal with the fact that she hated him. That being in his presence revolted and scared her. He couldn't stand that.
"Are you okay Luke?" a voice asked him.
Lucas turned to find a concerned looking Jake gauging the expression on his face. "Yeah yeah fine," he muttered.
"Look Luke, about the other day…" Jake started but Lucas sent him a look. "Don't worry about it. I'd be pissed at me too."
"Oh well okay," Jake said awkwardly shuffling his feet.
Lucas almost laughed at how upset and embarrassed Jake felt. He smiled a little, the most his face would give into considering the times, "We're cool Jake. Well as long as you're cool with me."
Jake grinned. "Yeah I'm sorry. We're good."
"Ok," Lucas nodded.
"Well come on, we have to go practice getting that ball through a hoop. It might work better than breaking a hole in the ground," Jake winked before grabbing the ball from Lucas and running to make a quick lay-up.
Lucas grimaced. "Har Har. Very funny Jake." But he grabbed the ball and began to actually concentrate on practice for the first time in 2 days.
--
Haley sat patiently outside the gym waiting for the one guy she could actually fall head over heels for. She hated herself for being so caught up with what everyone else wanted and expected of her. She had let herself be unconsciously swayed by other's opinions and Nathan's past. And it wasn't fair. She wanted to be with him. Not only that she needed to. She had never felt that way about anyone before. Haley watched as one by one the players filed out of the gym to their cars in the parking lot, but no Nathan appeared. Some of the guys and cheerleaders had given her strange looks but none had said anything. Although it might have been a bad sign, displaying Haley and Nathan's differences, Haley was happily surprised to realize she didn't give a damn about them. It was time to open her heart and finally be true to Nathan and herself. Just like Brooke said everyone should do for love. Getting so anxious, Haley finally just decided to go into the locker room.
Nathan was the only one left there. He had just taken a long hot shower trying to shake himself of all his thoughts. After getting out and wrapping a towel around his waist, he stood in front of his locker blankly staring at his clothes and trying to get his lazy ass to just get dressed. That's when he heard it. One little word that literally made his body stop in place.
"Hey," Haley said gently almost caressing the word.
He turned and stared at her. After realizing she was really there his look swiftly switched to a glare. "What are you doing here? I only have one heart so no more for you to hurt."
Haley flinched and Nathan immediately felt bad -- that had been a little harsh -- but not bad enough to apologize. "Look Nathan I've been thinking. About us and everything. I made a mistake. I want to be with you, and I don't care who knows. I really like you, and I don't want to lose you."
Nathan shook his head. "You can't just waltz in here Haley and say shit like that. It's not fair."
"But I mean it," she said softly and truthfully. "I want you Nathan. I want us to be together. And I'm sorry for before. I just let the stress take over me and began to doubt everything about us. I shouldn't have.
"Why should I believe you?" Nathan scoffed.
"Because I'm sorry. And because it's already been too long and I miss you and you look really good without your shirt on," Haley blushed red as she said it and Nathan smirked but let her continue, "And I miss your kisses and how you listen to me and care about me. I miss you," she finished simply.
Nathan smiled. "Well when you put it that way," he replied before closing the distance between them and bringing Haley up against a set of lockers. She smiled back up at him. "I missed you too," he whispered against her lips before claiming them with his own.
--
Brooke crept slowly to the River Court. She saw the outlines of a figure, staring out at the night, on one of the picnic benches. She picked up her pace a little and made her way into the light. The boy stared at her transfixed but he didn't open his mouth. Brooke swallowed hard trying to muster enough courage to say this.
"Lucas I need to talk to you," she said her voice breaking.
He sat up eagerly and nodded. "Of course. What is it?"
"I… I think," Brooke's voice cracked again and she started to feel tears threatening to spill out.
"What is it baby?" Lucas asked concerned.
Brooke didn't even bother to correct him that she was not his baby anymore. She just spoke. "I think I'm pregnant," Brooke rushed out.
Lucas turned red and then white before exhaling slowly. "Are… are you sure?" he asked in shock.
Brooke jerked her head, tears streaming down on her face. "What are we going to do?" she asked scared.
Before Lucas even had a chance to comfort her or say anything, lights from a car drove nearby. Lucas shielded his eyes until the lights turned off. When he glanced back at the front window of the car, he saw the impossible. Brooke turned to see what he was staring at, and gasped. Inside sat Nathan Scott and Haley James kissing each other like there was no tomorrow.
"Nathan, Haley," Lucas said in wonder not believing what was in front of him. Suddenly they untangled themselves and simultaneously looked out the window. Both couples' eyes met.
"Oh shit," were the last words heard.