Authors Note: Hiya everyone! I tried to put up another chapter ASAP but I'm having some stress because school started today, and I'm in FOUR AP classes and I'm just geeked because I had to do AP work before school even started, and tonight I had to type up a tone of crap... meh. Not that you all care, but its nice to vent I guess... Anyways! So I wanted to say, I screwed up the last story, originally I was going to have Ichigo and Ishida up against the tree (hence the rainforest thing) but I forgot that original plan. Oops. Also, I want to give a shout out to my sehr sehr gut freund Pip :D yay! I got her into Bleach and now she's giving me a few little ideas for these chapters. Anyways, yes I made her addicted and she loves mee story and so... well... yes thats the lot of it. I'll tell you a secret... I think she's my muse! I had lost mine for sooo long, but I think I found it again! weee! If you don't know what I mean, it's a person in your life that influences your creativity to flow more. Yeah I'm a n00b, okay I get it. Oh and theres this really hot Chinese (although Japs are preferred...) kid in two of my AP classes, I wonder how that'll go? hahaha. Well, sorry for my rambling but I'm soo excited about this chapter! YAY!!!! ENJOY YOU BITCHES!!! 333333333 Oh btw, I was inspired by A Clockwork Orange and the Spirited Away soundtrack for this chapter, yay!

Saving Me

Ichigo's POV!

"Saving the rainforest eh?" Keigo said, his voice was dripping with sarcasm, I swear I could taste it in the air. "What are you going to do next Ichigo, go fuck your boyfriend against this tree?" he nodded to the tree I had previously been leaning against before Ishida had abruptly physically told me he was, well... bent. I still couldn't comprehend what had happened, I guess he thought since he realized I was bent too, that I'd want him. I mean, don't get me wrong, Ishida is attractive but... I don't even know right now, I'm so furious with him I can't even see clearly. I looked at Keigo, his eyes, those beautiful Jade Green eyes. It hurt me to know that I could never see those eyes shine with love while looking at me, although I'm not sure I'd recognize it even if I saw it. The only problem was... I didn't want Keigo after he'd been tainted by another; I wanted him only if I was the first for him. I couldn't do this, not after he'd soiled himself. Maybe if I were interested in someone much older then me it wouldn't bother me so much, I'd expect them to be dirtied by life and lost loves, but not Keigo, not my friend... not the boy I'd fallen so deeply for without even realizing I really cared so much this whole time. I saw his lips moving, his upper lip turned up in a snarl. Was he speaking to me? Was he speaking to Ishida? I couldn't tell, his lips moved but I couldn't hear anything. I could only hear my heart pounding in my chest, and feel the blood rushing in my head. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't take this. Everything I'd wanted was over now, I could never expect to have Keigo to myself. And now my friendship, or lack there of, was absolutely destroyed by Uryuu's advancement. I looked from Keigo's snarling lips to those eyes again. They looked different. I mean, they were still that oh-so-Keigo-ish shade of green, but something I'd never seen before was hidden behind them. Then again, I'd never seen Keigo anything but happy or sad, and when he was sad it was never heartbreaking sadness... not like what I was going through now. It was then that I realized Ishida was yelling back at Keigo, so it was Ishida that Keigo had been speaking... well rather yelling to. I could make out the words "molester" and what looked like "ass hole". And on Ishida's lips it looked like "bastard". I didn't care anymore, I was so lost. That feeling was back again, that raw, empty feeling in my abdomen. I had to hug myself to keep from falling apart. I nearly doubled over, my arms wrapped around my body, I was probably shaking, looking like and idiot. I didn't care... everything was lost. That's when I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Keigo, he still looked so... angry. I didn't understand. He wrenched me up and looked straight into my eyes. I knew he was about to say something, I tried to hear him. I composed myself as quick as possible, given the situation. His mouth opened slowly. I started to get hopeful. Would Keigo tell me he cared for me too? What was he doing? I was getting too excited, too worked up. I was a naive kid to ever think that, but I couldn't help myself. I was a hopeful person.

"Ichigo..." oh god yes please just tell me what I need to hear. Please make this all go away.

"Ichigo... I..." yes... please! Don't stop... please keep talking.

"I... am... absolutely..." he trailed off... what! What!!! Absolutely what!? He didn't continue.

"What... what were you going to say?" I heard myself choke out... the voice was something distant and alien to me, like I was a marionette puppet and God had his hand up my arse.

"Ichigo, I am absolutely... disgusted by you." he spat that word at me, disgusted. Like I was the most vile creature on this planet. Like I had done something to harm him severely, he looked like he contained a awful taste in his mouth. Probably a result of using my name. I couldn't believe what I'd gotten myself into, just because I had to be a bastard and fight with Ishida. That feeling was back, yet again, only this time I was afraid my heart was going to explode. I had to get out of there, I pushed past the two, barely hearing Ishida yell something to, Keigo I suppose, something along the lines of being a heartless bastard. I kept running, I ran all the way home. I ran for so long I thought I was going to pass out... and then I did.

"I woke up, the pain and sickness all over me like an animal. Then I realized what it was... the music coming up from the floor was our old friend Ludwig Van, and the dreaded 9th Symphony." - A Clockwork Orange.

Author's note: If you started listening to "One Summer's Day" on the Spirited Away soundtrack right now... it goes with these next couple parts... if you read in sync with them.

My head is swimming, it's too bright for me to stop squinting. I started to stand up, but for some reason my whole body felt like it would collapse. I grabbed onto the edge of my bed... wait... my bed? When the hell did I get home!

And then it hit me, I ran all the way here from school... everything that had happened came flooding back to me at that moment. My throat closed up, and I felt like something built up inside of me was on the brink of falling apart. Why did God let this happen? Why did Keigo have to be the person, out of everyone, to see me with Ishida? Now he'll think I love Ishida... but I don't. I feel sick, I feel dizzy, I feel like my chest is going to explode and pour out everything I've been retaining. I sat back down, the room was spinning now. The air was thick with remorse, and it weighed down on me as I lay back, it was heavy and smothering, it made it hard to breath, to move. I gasped for air, clutching my sides and screwing my eyes shut. I don't know what this feeling was, but it felt like I'd never be happy ever again. I felt like nothing would make this pain end.

" Suddenly, I viddied what I had to do, and what I had wanted to do, and that was to do myself in; to snuff it, to blast off for ever out of this wicked, cruel world. One moment of pain perhaps and, then, sleep for ever, and ever and ever."-- A Clockwork Orange

I considered it, to do something about it, something to myself. I stood up, really considering it. It wouldn't be that hard, jump out the window or something of the like. I stepped over to my window and threw up the pane. I put one, two legs over the sill. I was all prepared, not even thinking my way through this. I had Keigo's face plastered everywhere in my head, I knew I was being selfish, I couldn't deal with the pain. I was weak. I braced myself, and then, the doorbell rang. Who the fuck could that be? I really don't want to be disturbed by anyone, but I figured maybe I should just go check... I didn't want them to see me jump out the window anyways. I crawled back into my room and stomped down the hall and stairs the open the door. I walked to the door, the door being banged on now. Who ever this was, they were extremely impatient. I hesitated, worried that it might be Ishida coming to finish what we... well what he had started. I turned the knob, bracing myself, and opened the door... and there in the doorway, it was... Keigo? My heart began racing, my face burning. I couldn't understand why he'd be here. ((author note: now onto the song Sixth Station)) My heart broke into pieces that cut my insides apart. I felt empty, but too full, too overwhelmed. Having him standing there was too much.

"What do you want." I asked, my voice lacking any amount of emotion.

"I came here to talk to you." he replied, something in the way he spoke frightened me, made my spine tingle.

"I don't think that is a very good idea." it was all I could think of to say, if I had replied any other way I would have fallen to pieces. I couldn't look at him, everything felt like too much. Like I would rip apart at the seams. My eyes were watering now, I don't even know why. My heart weighed a million pounds, it sunk down into the pit of my stomach, burning all the way down.

((Day of the River...))

"No wait, Ichigo" his eyes... those jade eyes pleaded with me. I stopped and looked, stared at those eyes again. "I came to say something Ichigo, please listen" I suppose my silence spoke for itself for he continued. "I came to apologize." I suppose I wasn't very good at composing myself for once, I suppose I look shocked because Keigo's face went from pleading to hurt... or something that I'd only guess was that.

"What..." was all I could say, "why..." I stepped aside and let him in. As soon as I closed the door I felt Keigo's thin armed around my midsection, pinning my arms there along with it.

"Ichigo! I'm so sorry! I just really don't like that Ishida kid, he's too smart for his own damn good." As if saying this was supposed to make things better? I didn't understand what that had to do with his reaction, it didn't really make up for it I guess, but I couldn't stay mad at him. He had acted completely out of character in the first place, how could I hold a grudge against him for just overreacting? At least he was here now. I turned around in his embrace and hugged him back, wishing it would never end.

"Keigo..." it was all I could manage to say. This feeling... it just felt too amazing to describe, like time ceased and nothing could ever touch this, nothing in the world could make this impure. Impure... oh yeah, that reminds me... Keigo... he's... I don't even want to finish the thought. I shrugged out of the embrace we had kept. I didn't want him after he'd been had, but I couldn't help myself, I think I... loved him too much? Was this love? I wasn't sure. I had always denounced its existence, but now I felt like I was witnessing it for the first time.

((end of musical inspiration))

"Keigo... who... who was that girl you were bragging about earlier?" I tried to chuckle, make light of the heavy mood that smothered us all.

"Ichigo, I need to tell you something." I prepared myself for the worst, I was expecting him to tell me it was Orihime or, fuck even my sisters or something. I had no idea what was to come next.

"What I said at lunch, it was a lie."

I was taken aback. "What!" was all I could choke out, although I was completely overwhelmed by relief.

"I just felt like I had something to prove, I figured everyone else had already screwed around, and I felt inadequate because I'd never done a single thing yet. But judging by all your reactions I knew I guessed wrong. I had to play along and pull it off like I was being serious, I couldn't go back on my words."

"Wait Keigo... you're telling me you've never done anything?" he flinched at that, and my facial expression of absolute shock and awe probably didn't help his reaction at all.

"Ichigo, please, please don't tell anyone!" he looked like he was about to get down on his knees and beg me, which honestly didn't sound all that bad to me.

"Get down and beg me, bitch." I hissed, leaning into his ear. I could sense him shiver. Where was this sexuality coming from? I just moved instinctively. And then, to my surprise, he did... He kneeled down in front of me and bowed.

"Please Ichigo! Please don't tell anyone! I'll feel like a fool!" much to my amusement he looked up at my face now, his eyes almost drowning in tears of embarrassment and fear that I'd reveal the truth. He deserved it, and he knew it. He sat up on his knees, his face was practically eye-level with my groin. I felt my face flush, and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to control myself. I leaned down, my face just mere inches from the boy who I'd grown to... love... or something similar. I brushed his chocolate brown hair back from his eyes, and his eyes shone and shimmered with an emotion I had never seen before. It was confusing to me, I didn't understand what it could be. Keigo looked slightly apprehensive, like he was anticipating my next move. Then the feelings of hurt and emptiness came back to remind me Keigo would never love me back. I leaned back up, held out my hand and pulled Keigo to his feet. My mind went back to when I'd felt this while upstairs in my bedroom, and how close I'd come to ending it all.

"Don't worry Keigo, I wont tell anyone. Besides... you saved me."