Love Rectangle Plus One (Whatever That Is)
Chapter 24: Truth Hits Everybody
Haley lay curled up on her bed her favorite stuffed animal, Mr. Waffles, held tight in her grasp. Her usually cheerful face was tearstained, and her hair was tied back in a loose bun, with stray waves spilling over her face. Lucas had been so hurtful today. She had never ever seen that side of him. Nor did she want to ever again. Not that she would, considering the awful thing he had said about their friendship being over. This almost prompted a fresh onslaught of tears, but she was so sick of crying that she held back. She still couldn't understand why he was so upset. Yes, she had lied to him about her and Nathan's relationship, but why was he so opposed to them being together. He being mad at her was one thing, but not being able to understand why so, made Haley even more upset. She pressed her face into the pillow, willing for sleep to come, even though she knew peaceful rest probably would not come again. At that moment a knock from her window sounded. She looked up to see Nathan lifting it and climbing inside. He stared at her sheepishly.
"Hi," he said softly, almost apologetically.
Haley pushed back the hair from her eyes and looked up at him. "Hi," she repeated her eyes questioning him why he was there, why he had come.
"I couldn't sleep," he answered her, approaching the bed.
"Me either," she whispered.
"Can I?" he asked softly as he got to the side of her bed.
She nodded, and he slipped out of his shoes before slowly climbing into the bed alongside her. He moved his hands towards her tentatively, but as Haley didn't say anything, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her petite body close to his. Haley's body quickly melted into his grasp and she placed both her hands on his lower back as she burrowed her head in his shoulder. Holding him was much better than Mr. Waffles any day.
"Want to tell me what happened today?" he asked. He hadn't seen her after school. He was supposed to drive her home, but she hadn't showed up. He had figured something bad had occurred.
"I talked to Lucas, and he told me our friendship was over, for good."
Nathan sighed. "I'm sorry, Hales."
"He was so cruel, Nathan," she whimpered, "He wanted me to choose. Why was he so mean?" she asked finally letting all of her inner questions out. "Why can't he understand? Why is he so upset? What did I do, Nathan? I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to hurt anyone," she cried into his chest.
"Haley, look at me," he said pushing her body off him slightly as he held her upper arms, "You didn't do anything. Lucas, he's just being an ass."
Haley nodded and floated back into his embrace. They were silent for several moments before she spoke again. "Do you remember how I said I didn't want to hurt Lucas, but that I also didn't want to hurt you?" Nathan nodded slowly, not sure where this was going. "I just ended up hurting both of you. I hurt both of you, when I didn't want to hurt even one."
"I've hurt people too, Haley," Nathan replied, "The only thing you can try and do is fix those mistakes you've made. You did that. You asked for me back. And you can fix it with Lucas. I promise. It'll all be okay." Even though Nathan wasn't so sure about this last part, he knew she needed hope. And really when she was around, he also felt hopeful.
Haley's only response was to pull Nathan's face towards her as she kissed him slowly, filled with emotion and need. They kept kissing until Haley pulled away and yawned. Nathan smiled, in spite of himself. "I'm tired," she whispered and moved even closer to him. "Let's go to sleep," he responded and kissed the top of her head. And together in each other's arms, they drifted away.
--
Nathan walked onto campus the next morning and looked around. He was going to talk to Lucas. He could deal with Lucas being pissed off at him, it was slightly deserved. But he had no right to treat Haley this way. She was hurting so much; Nathan could see it. He didn't want her to through that. So he hoped he could talk some sense into his older brother, and get him to stop being such an asshole. He spotted him out of the corner of his eye, and walked quickly to catch up with him.
Lucas!" he called, as he approached.
Lucas turned and stared at him angrily. "Stay the hell away from me," he replied and turned to walk away.
Nathan sighed but ran after him and jerked his arm. "This isn't about me, okay. You're really hurting Haley. She's one of your best friends, Luke. She loves you, so stop being an ass, okay. Just stop!"
"She's not my best friend. She's a stupid slut who can't see you for the dick you really are."
Nathan's anger burned inside of him but he kept it in check. "Firstly, don't ever call Haley a slut again. And secondly, stop acting like an ass. I get you're mad. I would be too. But Haley doesn't deserve to lose a friendship over something like this. Neither do you."
"Don't tell me what I deserve, Nathan! You don't know shit about me." Lucas glared at him and shook his head before walking off.
Nathan stared dejectedly after him. He kicked the ground softly when he heard a voice behind him. "It's gonna be awhile, man."
"Huh?" Nathan asked turning around to see Jake.
"Lucas, he's really pissed. I mean I understand he's mad that you lied, but just cutting Haley out completely. It's really unlike him. He's just hurting a lot over this Brooke stuff. Maybe if that works out, he'll be less pissed about you two."
Nathan sighed. "I'm really sorry about what happened with him and Brooke. But at the same time, the way he's treating Haley is wrong. She doesn't deserve his anger. If anyone does it's me. I'm the one who put her in that situation."
Jake shrugged, "Maybe but she decided to be with you too. I'm sure it's tougher on Haley, and you want to protect her, but maybe you both should take responsibility."
"I don't think I did anything wrong, Jake. I wanted to tell everyone. Haley didn't. Because she knew he'd react like this. I'm sorry that we lied, but I didn't betray anyone this time. And I'm sick of being judged for what I did in the past. I'm not the same person. And you'd think Lucas, who so much wanted a better brother, would be happy about it."
"Wow," Jake said absorbing all that, "Look Nathan, maybe you should tell that to Lucas."
"Like, he'd listen," Nathan scoffed, "I don't know where his head's at now, but if he couldn't even care to listen to Haley, then he sure as hell won't listen to me."
Jake sighed, knowing he was right. "I'm sorry, Nate. I wish there was something more I could do."
"Yeah, me too."
--
Peyton wandered into the library during her study hall. As she walked closer to the tables, she noticed Haley sitting at one. Peyton hung back remembering Jake's words from two nights before. She needed to get over what happened. Maybe she could try and be friends with Haley. After all Haley had been there for Brooke, when Peyton hadn't. She was a good person, and she was probably hurting over everything with Lucas. It was time for Peyton to stop feeling sorry for herself, and actually care about others around her, and what they were feeling instead of her own problems.
She approached hesitantly and pulled a chair out next to Haley. "Hey Haley, can I uh talk to you?"
Haley lifted her head up from her book. Her eyes were slightly red, and her face was pale. Peyton winced, realizing how much she was going through. Haley sighed and glanced at Peyton. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Look I heard about what happened," she began but Haley interrupted.
"If you're just here to yell at me for betraying my friends I don't want to hear it."
Peyton was a little taken aback. She had never seen Haley so assertive, but this whole thing must have been taking its toll on her. "To be honest Haley, when I found out at first I was really pissed. I was all ready to yell at you for hurting Brooke and lying to Lucas. But then I talked to Jake. And I realized the real problem is me. I'm being territorial about guys, who aren't mine now, and who never really were. So I'm okay with you and Nathan. I just want you to know that."
"Wow," Haley said a small smile spreading over her face, "You glad you got that out?"
Peyton laughed, relieved that the tension had broken. "Actually yes."
Haley nodded with a smile, but then got serious. "Peyton I just want you to know, I'm glad you got with Jake. I think he's really good for you, and he definitely made you happier. Anyone can see that."
Peyton smiled, noticing now that Haley had done the same for Nathan. Anyone could see that too. "Yeah same for you and Nathan. Don't let Lucas bring you down. He'll come around."
"I hope so," Haley replied.
"Look Haley, I was really hoping we could try and be friends. Like for real. You're actually a lot cooler than I first gave you credit for."
"You too, Peyton, you too."
--
Brooke stepped out of the clinic's double doors, Lucas at her heels. They had said they'd call about the results as soon as they found out, but she couldn't help thinking that she'd never like to know. It would be too much to handle. She shook her head trying to erase everything that had happened in her mind, but when she opened her eyes, it was all still there. None of it would ever go away.
"Brooke," Lucas asked touching her arm gently, "Where's your head at?" It was amazing to him how calm and gentle he was with her, yet how angry and abusive he was towards Nathan and Haley. Just thinking about them made him burn with anger. But right now he had to focus on Brooke. It was all about her. It was only about her.
"Nothing," she replied giving a halfhearted smile.
"Come on," he prodded softly, "You can talk to me."
"That's just it, Luke," Brooke shook her head as her seemingly ever present tears filled her eyes, "I can't talk to you. I just can't."
Lucas sighed sadly. "Please Brooke."
She gave him another small feeble smile. "Thanks for coming with me, Lucas. It uh, it meant a lot." She began to walk away toward her car, but Lucas jogged after her.
"I'm always here for you, Brooke. Always. I love you," he caressed her cheek softly and stared into her eyes.
Brooke shook free of him. "Lucas, please. Just stop. Maybe it's my problem, but I'm still trying to get over everything you did. And everything else that's happened. You've been there for me, recently. But I don't know if you will be tomorrow, in a few days, next week. I can't trust you."
"If there's one person you can trust, it's me, Brooke," he said fiercely, "At least give it a try. Give me another chance."
Brooke could see the desire in his eyes, but she could also see his honesty, and his care. She sighed but submitted. "Maybe we can try." His face brightened until he heard the end of her words, "To be friends." Lucas's eyes dimmed, but he nodded his acquiescence, knowing that this was a big step for Brooke.
"Friends sound good," he smiled down at her, "For now," he added gazing at her deeply.
She stared at him knowing how much more he wanted, and seeing finally how much he would fight for it. And the scary thing wasn't that she didn't want him to. What was scary was how much she still wanted him, how much she still loved him. She shivered under his gaze, but she simply nodded, wondering what this new development would bring. Inwardly Lucas smiled knowing that he was finally starting to get through to her again, and with that he wrapped his arms around her for a hug. They were friends, for now. But he would try to change that for tomorrow.
--
After leaving Lucas, Brooke drove over to Peyton's house, wanting just to be with a friend for now. Even though they were slowly building their friendship up, Brooke knew there was no one else she could talk to about this. There was no one else she wanted to talk to right now. She walked up the steps slowly before knocking tentatively on Peyton's door, almost as if she had committed the wrongdoing and came to apologize.
"Come in," Peyton's voice called cheerfully, reminding Brooke of how happy her friend was now. And of how they had almost traded places. Because one thing Brooke definitely wasn't at the moment was happy.
"Hi," Brooke said softly, entering and perching on the bed, where Peyton was stretched out.
Having been Brooke's best friend for 10 years, minus the few month gap, Peyton could immediately tell something was wrong. "What's up, girlie?" she asked sitting up and drawing closer to Brooke. Brooke shook her head and didn't respond. She instead hunched up and finally let her tears fall. "Brooke, come on," Peyton asked worriedly, "What's wrong?"
"I might be pregnant," she whispered, "And Lucas," she started but couldn't even finish the sentence.
"Oh Brooke," Peyton said empathetically and pulled the brunette girl into her embrace, "It's going to be okay. Everything will be. With Lucas too, I promise."
"I'm so scared, Peyton," Brooke cried into her shoulder.
"Don't be. It'll work out. Lucas will be there for you no matter what. He loves you, Brooke. He's not going anywhere."
"That's part of what scares me," she said softly.
"What, why?"
"Because I still love him, Peyton. With everything I have. But what if he hurts me again? I don't want to hurt anymore. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of everyone hurting me."
Peyton's heart broke listening to her friend's cries. She had been the start. She had been a cause. And now she had an obligation to fix everything. She vowed to be a better friend from here on out. "Brooke, listen to me," she said clutching Brooke's shoulders, "I know Lucas hurt you. He should have told you what happened between us. He shouldn't have kept it a secret. But he loves you, Brooke. He's so sorry. And he's hurting just as much. I know it's hard to trust him now. And I know you're scared. But please stop hiding your heart. You love him, sweetie. I hid from my feelings for too long with Jake. Don't make the same mistake. Maybe it can't go back to before, but you have to at least try. Just try, Brooke. Don't be afraid anymore. He'll never hurt you again. I'll never hurt you again," she assured, wrapping her arms back around Brooke in a tight hug.
"Thank you, Peyton, thank you," Brooke said as her tears started to dry.
"I love you, B. Davis. It'll be okay," she promised. And for once Peyton really thought she could keep this one.
"I love you too, P. Sawyer."