"Are you sure you're alright?" Peeta asks for the fifth time this morning as we walk down the sunlit hall.
I sigh wearily, half because we've already had this conversation and half because I'm utterly exhausted. Pulling on unknown strength, I step in front of Peeta, stopping us in place. "I'm fine," I whisper, wrapping my arms around his neck and pushing up on my toes to kiss him sweetly. "Can we just leave it?" He nods robotically, which makes me laugh so I kiss him once more before pulling him towards the kitchen.
"Where's the birthday boy?" Peeta says as we walk in the room, breathing in the beautiful smells of pancakes and smoked salmon.
Immediately I see Finn. He's much taller than I remember and although I knew this last night, I'm still surprised to see how tall. He's practically beaming as he crosses the room to first hug Peeta and then me. I ruffle his long bronze hair and he quickly slaps my hand away, fixing his hair.
"Happy birthday Finn! I can't believe you're fifteen already," I say, sitting at the table across from Beetee, who's adopted his wheelchair today. "I remember when you were a little baby and you used to run around naked."
"He sounds like his father," Peeta remarks and I watch a light spark up in Finn's eyes at the mention of his dad.
I know how he feels; I miss my father every day. But at least I got to spend time with him before the mine explosion. I had time to make memories. Finn has nothing, just the stories we tell him and it breaks my heart because it's my fault Finnick isn't around. He died for me and even now, I carry the burden.
"Did you know we're having a party on the beach today?" Finn says excitedly.
"I didn't!" Peeta says enthusiastically.
Smiling into my plate, I pile a couple of pancakes one and tuck in. The relationship between Peeta and Finn is amazing, one I know he treasures. As I watch the pair talking animatedly about Finn's friends and school, I can't help but love him even more for the compassion he has. Finn is the son I will never give him.
"And you wait until you see the cake I've made you. I think I can safely say it's some of my best work," Peeta jokes, flicking his head of hair out of his face.
I scoff to myself. "This cake has been driving me crazy so I hope you appreciate it, Finn." Already I can see him licking his lips. I laugh and finish my breakfast, slowly but surely feeling better about the lack of sleep I received last night.
And then it's like my stomach does a somersault and suddenly I can feel my food making its way back up to my throat. Quickly I rush from the kitchen, running down the hall until I smash open the door to a bathroom. Without a second thought, my breakfast reappears.
By the time I'm finished, my stomach is definitely empty and the muscles in my jaw and throat ache from the constant contraction. I sit myself by the side of the toilet, rubbing my stomach shakily and wiping the sweat from my brow. Now I find myself more exhausted than before. But it's Finn's birthday and I don't want to miss a second of it. So I flush the toilet, wash my face with cold water and breathe deeply.
"Katniss?" From behind the door, Peeta's head appears, tainted with worry and concern that tugs on my heart. "Are you alright?"
Bracing myself against the basin, I take a deep breath in and exhale loudly. "I'm fine. I just didn't feel too well and needed to cool off." There is no need for Peeta to worry about me, when I don't even know if there's anything to be worried about. I lean in to plant a kiss on his lips before halting abruptly. My breath probably smells of vomit. Instead I quickly kiss his cheek, stroking it gently before walking out of the room, leaving Peeta to wear a concerned expression complete with furrowed brow.
"I'll just get dressed," I say, slipping into our room to gather an outfit for the day and my wash bag and then head for the bigger bathroom upstairs.
As soon as I'm through the door, I lock it and drop my things, just as a new wave of nausea comes.
###
After the third regurgitation of my breakfast, I truly understanding the feeling of empty and go about getting ready. Somehow I manage to get sick in my hair so I quickly shower, being careful not to look as I wash out the remains of my pancakes. Drying off, I quickly slip on a pale blue summer dress and run a comb through my hair before braiding it down my back. I brush my teeth once more and head downstairs with my things.
"I do love that dress," Peeta whispers, pulling my hips towards him and turning them so I'm facing him. "Are you feeling any better?"
"Yeah, a shower really helped." It's not actually a lie so I hope he doesn't realise the withholding of information. There's a tense moment when I think I've been rumbled and he's going to demand to know what the truth is – even though I don't know it fully myself. But he just kisses me on my forehead and tells me that Finn is about to open his presents.
Quickly I find mine and hurry after Peeta.
We're in the second lounge of the house, just opposite from our room. It has a small balcony that reminds me of an evening I spent out there with Peeta one evening on a visit. From there, the ocean can be seen and the view is literally breath-taking – Annie has a picture of the scene that Peeta painted for one of her birthdays. The room itself is a happy blue colour with dark wooden panels that give the whole house a boat-house feel.
In the middle of the floor, surrounded by gifts wrapped neatly with ribbons, Finn sits with a slight bounce, positively beaming with excitement. I add my present to the pile and perch myself on the arm of the couch. Peeta's head lolls into my lap and I absentmindedly run my fingers through his ashy blond locks, watching his smile grow.
Instantly Finn moved for Beetee's present, gently pulling the ribbon off before brutally attacking the wrapping paper. He tears it to shreds, revealing a square-shaped smooth plastic slab, about the size of Finn's hand. With a confused and curious expression, he taps the surface cautiously, as if he expects it to blow up. Instead an image of Finn appears, a smiling picture from his last birthday that spell out 'happy birthday!'
"It's a tablet," Beetee says, obviously recognising the confusion on all our faces. "I was Head of its development. You can do anything on it: your school work, any phone calls, take pictures, watch television."
"Awesome!" Finn cries, bouncing up to hug the old man in his wheelchair.
"Thank you," Annie murmurs, leaning over her armchair to kiss Beetee on the cheek. He blushes vividly and splutters over his words. Peeta and I share a small smile as we watch Beetee recover from the affection displayed.
But Finn is ready for his next present and Beetee is happy for the distraction. As I turn back to the boy on the floor, his hands are poised over my present.
As usual, I'm doubting my choice and questioning my reasoning. I instantly want to change my mind, to snatch the present back and hide it. But it's too late because Finn's fingers are ripping through the paper. He lifts my handmade bow into the air, letting the last scraps of paper fall away. It's sleek and smooth, perfectly balanced for Finn as he holds it in the shooting position. Even Peeta drops his mouth as he marvels at my handiwork, a blatant look of astonishment on his face. Is this not the present he had expected?
"It's the first I've ever finished that was actually usable. Normally the balance is off or they're too easily snapped," I explain, looking up and seeing everyone staring at me. A flush of blood floods my cheeks. I drop my eyes to my lap, focusing on individual strands of Peeta's hair. But I can still feel their gazes on me.
In my lap, Peeta sits up to get a better look at Finn's gift. His fingers trace over the markings I've carved on the limbs of the bow. There are leaves and vines, twists and turns, all shaped in a pattern around the bow. "This is amazing!" he says, completely mesmerised. "I mean I thought you were going to give him one of your father's but Katniss, this is beautiful."
"I love it!" Finn says excitedly and despite the blush from Peeta's compliment, I can't help but beam with pride. The no longer small boy rushes up to me and squeezes me tightly. Moments like these make me consider children. I rest my head on his shoulder and quietly laugh as Finn showers me in thank you's.
"I'll even show you how to use it," I offer. He finds the sheath of arrows that came with the bow, hidden under the pile of paper, and nocks one to the bow, aiming it at the far wall.
At that moment, there's a fierce knocking at the door. Getting to her feet, Annie goes to answer. "Don't shoot it in the house," she quickly adds in a very maternal manner before darting out of the room. Her footsteps echo down the hall.
Meanwhile Finn releases the string, disregarding his mother. But the arrow barely reaches two feet in front of him.
Out in the hall, the door slams shut and there is a high pitched squeal accompanied by the choking of air. I immediately recognise the squeal and hurry out into the hall. But even as I do, I don't expect to see what I do. Johanna stands in front of me, flashing her winning smile before squeezing me so tightly, the air is literally forced from my lungs.
"It's nice to see you too," I gasp, breathing deeply when I'm finally released.
This is when I realise Johanna didn't come alone. Hovering awkwardly near the doorway is a shadowed figure yet to introduce themselves. As they step forward, the sunlight that streams through the window of the door hits them. Johanna's brought along a woman. She's smaller in frame compared to Johanna and has blonde hair that reaches her shoulders.
Catching our stare, Johanna jumps slightly and reaches back to pull the girl closer. I watch as their fingers lace together, just like how Peeta and I hold hands sometimes. "This is Sophy, my girlfriend."
Author's Note: Apologies for such a late update. I was lacking inspiration so I went and read all three books again and this chapter sort of came together. I know I have left you on a bold statement but I promise to try and update soon so you're not left hanging. Hope you enjoy this and review or message with any thoughts or suggestions. They are much appreciated!