Comparisons are easily done,

Once you've had a taste of perfection.

Chloe Beale wasn't inexperienced in sex or dating. Aubrey hadn't been her first, she hadn't even been the first woman Chloe had been with but for nearly four years, she had been her only. As such, when the time came for her to start dating again, she was understandably, a little nervous. Her first since Aubrey, was a gorgeous woman who worked in her favourite coffee shop. One morning, following a few weeks of innocent flirting, Chloe left the shop with a number scrawled across her cup. They'd been on a few dates and following a meal at a very expensive restaurant, Chloe found herself standing outside her own front door, inviting her in.

Her kisses were harsher than Aubrey's, more insistent. When she came it was with a sudden cry, rather than the exquisite moans she was used to. When she left, Chloe found that she didn't need her to come back, instead she pulled the letter out from under her mattress and simply sat with it for a while.

A veterinarian followed, they had been introduced by mutual friends and he seemed like a really great guy, if only he knew what foreplay was. The brunette who worked in the office above her's was a few inches too short which meant that Chloe had to stoop to kiss her. Then there was the guy from the gym, Chloe thought that his incredibly toned body would suggest some kind of stamina, she was sadly mistaken. She picked the most successful, good-looking, financially and emotionally stable dates but she always managed to find fault in them somewhere. No one was perfect. Well, she had been but now no one could really match up. She really was trying to move on but maybe the best she could do now would always be second best when compared to Aubrey Posen. And they always were compared to her.

Her initial attempts at moving on had mostly involved lying to herself about who Aubrey really was. Cold, unfeeling and controlling she told herself. Stubborn and inflexible. Ashamed of their relationship. These were things that had been said about Aubrey before but not by Chloe, by people who didn't really know her. Chloe knew Aubrey. She knew that while Aubrey displayed a hard exterior she was surprisingly gentle and affectionate on the inside, once she let you in. During the years that they were together, Chloe had always felt incredibly lucky that she got to see that other side of Aubrey, even if it was only in private.

'Ashamed of their relationship' did have an element of truth to it though. Many times, Chloe had unsuccessfully attempted to persuade Aubrey to let her tell someone, anyone, about their relationship. Chloe knew though, that her reluctance to be open about their relationship had come from a place of fear and not shame. Now, Chloe regretted ever pushing her so hard about it.

Unable to open Aubrey's letter and learn the truth, Chloe had, over the years, developed many theories about why she had left. Her departure had been so unexpected, Chloe felt that she should have seen warning signs, but even with hindsight, she couldn't find any. The most painful thoughts (that she'd found someone else or maybe she just stopped loving her altogether) she kept locked in the back of her mind, only finding their way out when she was too emotionally drained to keep them at bay. The theory that she kept coming back to though, was that maybe she had just pushed too hard.

She'd touched the flame and she'd got burned. Never again though. She'd learnt her lesson and wasn't going to let history repeat itself, regardless of the reasons behind it. As people came and went through her life she found herself actively looking for faults in them rather than just stumbling upon them. She began to feel a sense of relief when she did, as she then had an excuse for moving along. Not sticking around for long ensured not getting too attached and not getting attached meant not getting hurt.

In her absence, Aubrey had become Chloe's dating benchmark, an ideal to strive for but never to be reached. Sometimes the comparisons would just be a commentary in her own mind - things Aubrey wouldn't have done, things she had done and how she would have done them differently. Other times she would close her eyes and actively imagine that it was Aubrey with her. Pretending that the soft kisses and gentle caresses that she was on the receiving end of were coming from her. Sometimes she almost believed it but when she did, it only made the crushing disappointment even stronger when she opened her eyes and didn't find those deep green eyes looking lovingly back at her.

Being with Aubrey had always been both hot with passion and warm with comfort. She'd memorised every inch of her, had learnt the exact spot to where to kiss or where to bite. She knew her way around Chloe like no one else. To have that again wasn't really too much to ask for was it? No, there were plenty more fish in the sea, seven billion more in fact. Surely there was more than one person in the world that was right for her?

Her most recent catch was stunningly handsome, amazing in bed and conversations between them flowed effortlessly. In short, he was as close to perfection as Chloe thought she would ever find. Which is why she couldn't understand why she was still picturing Aubrey when she was with him, and she hated herself for it.

They had been together for four months (the longest relationship that Chloe had been in since Aubrey) and her thoughts of Aubrey hadn't diminished in the slightest, if anything, they'd increased. It was no longer just about their physical relationship (though when he kissed her, she still tasted Aubrey on her lips) but also the day-to-day things. She could imagine the look of frustration that would cross the beautiful woman's face if she were to see the damp towels he left strewn haphazardly around his apartment, could picture the eye roll that would result from his vast overuse of sugar in his morning coffee. At times she wondered if the imaginary Aubrey in her mind was a sign that she was losing the plot entirely.

She was also spending an increasing amount of time wondering about what the real Aubrey was doing. Was she still living with her parents? Her fierce independence suggested probably not. Had she found someone new? Surely after all this time she had. Did Aubrey ever think about her any more? Did she lie awake a night wondering where Chloe was and who she was with? Was she happy? Chloe was disgusted with herself for the times that she wished the answer was no. She still loved her, obviously she wanted her to be happy, but the thought that someone else, someone who wasn't Chloe, could be making her happy made her feel physically sick.

Chloe was almost at the point of giving up trying to find a flaw in him, maybe he really didn't have any. It wasn't until she was staring down at the little test, waiting for the presence or absence of a little blue line that could turn her world upside-down, that she found his fault in his ultimatum that followed:

"Either it goes or I do."