Clash of the Smashers

Chapter Thirty-One: Obscenely large animals on parade!

The Smashers drew back as the creature revealed itself, knocking several trees down. It stood only ten feet high, but its strange sloping body caused it to mass quite a bit. It possessed a long flat tail that was a dull red color that contrasted sharply with the light blue of its short fur. Its five-inch long teeth glistened as the Smashers confronted Very Gnawty, the giant blue beaver…thing…guy.

There were several moments of silence as the Smashers stared at the beaver. It suddenly let out a loud chortling guffaw and leapt forward. It hit the ground with a resounding crash and leapt again. Reacting quickly the Smashers opened fire.

Their projectiles flew with deadly force, slamming hard into the immense beaver. It cocked its head, and tried to move forward, but a particularly painful one managed to hit him, and with a loud guffaw, the beast turned around and retreated back into the jungle.

The Smashers stared at where it had been for a bit, trying to decide what to do, when Funky yelled something at them.

"You guys go on ahead, I'll hold down the fort…although I'm not too sure what I'm protecting it for anymore…"

"Are you sure you can handle it by yourself?" Falco asked.

At that moment a trio of beavers similar to Very Gnawty ran out from the trees, although they were only three feet tall. Funky aimed and fired a single orange, and the resulting explosion turned the feeble creatures into singed beaver flesh, that had little to no resemblance to an actual beaver.

"Never mind." Falco said, and he and the others ran into the trees, after the beaver.

The jungle, despite it consisting of merely palm trees and shrubs, was quite thick. Another unfortunate aspect of it was that they couldn't even follow the trail of trampled plant life, since the trees seemed to bounce back after being pushed aside.
Regardless, the Smashers surged on through, with an occasional grunt or cry of effort. They followed the sound of loud, beaver-like guffaws and eventually managed to break onto some kind of path.

A quick look down the path by Link revealed that it was the one connected to Donkey Kong's cabin. The trees grew thickly alongside it, but the actual path was clear, covered only in dirt. And on the path, running away was the beaver. The big one. Not the little ones, because they're lame. Well, actually the big one isn't that great either. Hmph. Anyways, the big one was being Very Gnawty (which also happens to be its name).

Link fired an arrow at the retreating creature. The projectile slammed into its back, and it spun around, temporarily revealing that the ocean lay behind it, a good deal farther down the path.

Gnawty guffawed again, and started leaping towards the Smashers. Grinning, they aimed, and were about to open fire, when dozens of beavers swarmed out from behind him.

"Oh…dear," Raichu said.

The Smashers took a few steps back, but then stood their ground and opened fire. Diddy threw oranges, Bario fired his magic balls, Link shot arrows, Raichu shot balls of electricity, Mario shot firebombs, Samus fired stun bolts, Falco did his lasers and Kirby shot shockwaves. The beavers were weak and easily killed, but there were a lot of them, and Gnawty just kept leaping forward.

Once Link switched to bomb arrows however, the beavers were forced to retreat. The thirty feet separating them from the Smashers were too dangerous. Gnawty actually tore through the trees near him and started to run.

"He's escaping! Get him!" Diddy said.

Before Gnawty could be got, there was a loud crashing sound, and bursting from the trees a scant twenty-eight feet in front of them came three beavers…rolling around in giant stone wheels.

"FIRE!" Bario commanded, before following his own advice.

A few shots later, and the wheels, already possessing several large cracks, disintegrated as the Smashers fired at them. The beavers inside were killed instantly.

Before the Smashers could turn their attention back to the large amount of beavers waiting a few feet away, there was a loud rustling and Very Gnawty burst from the trees right next to them, his massive bulk slamming into Samus, Mario and Kirby, sending the three of them tumbling into palm trees on the other side of the path.

Gnawty laughed, but before it could attack again, Link slashed at it, opening up a deep wound on its side. Laughing again, Gnawty ran back into the trees.

"Stupid beaver!" Raichu said, shooting a small bolt of lightning at the beavers that were starting to edge closer.

"At least he's weak," Samus said, having got up.

"Yeah, he is. I don't understand why K. Rool would just send him though," Diddy said, "I mean he's got way more lackeys than these beavers."

At Diddy's words, there was a loud rumbling, followed by an equally loud squawk. Gnawty burst from the trees and rejoined his beavers as something large and brown became barely visible over the top of the trees.

"What the heck is that?" Falco asked.

His question was answered when a large snake-like object pushed its way through the upper layer of the trees, a good twenty feet up. In fact, that's what most of them thought it was at first, until they noticed the beak. They then realized that it was the head of some monstrous bird.

Closer inspection of its pale pink neck and featherless head, revealed that this wasn't just any bird. It was a vulture.

"That's Necky!" Diddy cried out in surprise, "Watch out! He spits-"

The rest of Diddy's warning was lost when the Smashers had to dodge a large walnut expelled from the oversized vulture's throat.

"Agh! Another of this K. Rool's guys lackeys?" Raichu asked.

"Yeah! Don't worry, he's not that bad!" Diddy said, shooting some peanuts at the far-up head. Necky seemed irritated and spat another nut, which Diddy skillfully avoided. His attacks seemed harmless, so Link fired a bomb arrow.

The powerful explosive slammed into the side of Necky's…well, neck, and the bird screeched and retracted its head.

Before anyone could celebrate, a quieter screeching was heard…and a squadron of large brown vultures appeared in the sky, heading towards the Smashers.

The vultures weren't massive, they were only about the size of say, Link or Mario, but there were about a dozen of them, and more enemies in addition to the thirty-plus beavers already was not something the Smashers wanted to worry about.

"Get ready," Bario commanded, as the Smashers, having recovered from the previous assaults, aimed at the approaching enemies.

Before they could open fire, more birdly screeching ensued…and another dozen vultures started flapping from the east…and a third dozen from the west. Gnawty, his wound still seeping blood came out from the trees where his beavers waited and stood behind them, a faint laugh escaping his mouth. Rustling from the trees revealed where Necky was, as his vultures circled high over head, casting long shadows over the Smashers.

"Wow…" Falco said, "This is like…the opposite of good."
"Stay calm," Bario said.

"Like I need your instructions," Link sneered.

"Link! Not now!" Samus scolded.

Link growled, but merely readied an arrow.

"I haven't seen this many of K. Rool's lackeys in one area…ever." Diddy said in awe.

Before any attacks could be made, a loud buzzing was heard, and several creatures came flying out of the jungle.

They looked like bees, but were about the size of the vultures, and had several large spikes leading down to a long dangerous looking stinger on their bright yellow and black bodies.

"Zingers!"Diddy said, surprised.

However the worst surprise was yet to come, as flying low over the tree-tops appeared a massive Zinger, a "King Zing," so to speak, that was easily the size of Gnawty. Adding to the badness, Necky popped its head out of the trees, by the army growing on the path.

"This is bad, right Diddy?" Raichu said, quite frightened at the sheer amount of enemies that were arrayed against them.

There was no answer. Surprised, Raichu turned, and saw that Diddy was no longer next to him.

"Diddy?" Raichu called out.

There was still no answer. Raichu turned around, and managed to catch a glimpse of Diddy's back, running on the path down to Donkey's cabin, before the chimp turned and vanished from sight, having maneuvered around the clearing, and trees now blocked his position.

"Uh guys…Diddy's gone," Raichu said, shocked.

"He's what?" Bario said, clearly surprised.

Before Raichu could respond, the horde of foes charged. The beavers waddled forward, while the aerial foes dived towards the Smashers.

The Smashers opened up with their projectiles, but the sheer number of enemies made their attacks moot, and Gnawty was leading the charge, his massive bulk absorbing most of the damage. Just as the Smashers were preparing for close-quarters combat, there was a terrible bellow, and something big, gray and fast came barreling out of the trees. Bario looked startled and his hand jerked back, like he was going to strike, but the creature was gone before he could.

The Smashers recoiled, certain that a new enemy had presented itself, but the creature ran past them, muscular legs tearing up the ground. The low-flying birds and bees turned around, heading back up, although a few were clipped and killed by the large bony protrusion on the creature's snout.

The beavers on the other hand had nowhere to go, and the gray animal shredded through them, and sent Gnawty tumbling into a tree where he lay unmoving. A few scattered beavers were left, and tried to reorganize, but the Smashers quickly finished them off.

The creature let loose another bellow and stopped. Now that it wasn't moving, it was clearly some kind of large rhinoceros. Necky fired a nut at the animal, but he jerked his large head forward and shattered it on his horn. Then, with barely a passing glance, the helpful animal tore through the trees and quickly vanished, leaving the Smashers alone with the much reduced enemy army.

Diddy was running. He stopped briefly outside D.K.'s house, and saw Funky inside, watching the battle. But Diddy didn't care about Funky at the moment, he was there for Meta.
Meta was still unconscious, and despite Diddy's best efforts to rouse him, there was no reaction. Ignoring Cranky who was still writhing on the ground, Diddy yelled a couple of times to see if Meta would wake up. He soon realized that it wasn't working, and he didn't have a lot of time, so he started to go around Donkey's tree.

A purple light that he glimpsed at the corner of his eye caused him to stop and turn around, but with the exception of a slight twitch from Meta, everything was just like it was a few moments ago. Figuring that it was nothing, Diddy kept on.

Behind Donkey's tree were several branching paths that lead to the many cabins for the Kong family. Diddy continued on unhindered down the central path, and came to a stop outside a small cabin located on the ground, with a sign depicting his name over the door. He wasted no time entering.

On the inside was what one would expect to see in a sentient young chimp's home, bananas, stereo, cot, spare shirts, spare caps, guitar. Diddy rapidly switched his shirt and cap out for identical ones, since the ones he was wearing were getting kind of nasty and then grabbed his guitar.

It was a little bit longer than he was, and colored a bright red, with a star like style near the playing end. There was some yellow on it, and the guitar was very colorful. Additionally, it seemed to glisten with an almost metallic tinge. Diddy smiled upon getting it and slung it over his back, looping its strap around him so that he could run with it on him. And then he ran again.

The Smashers smiled as the seven of them faced Necky and Zing. The two animals gestured for their minions to attack, but the Smashers reacted quickly, and without the beavers to distract them on the ground, they were able to keep them at bay. Raichu's electrical attacks in particular were accurate and deadly, although he was still worried and confused about Diddy.

The vultures attempted to loop around the Smashers, but a flurry of attacks stopped them. The bees attempted to go around to the other side, but Link and Mario noticed and fired arrows and firebombs rapidly, downing many an oversized insect.

Things were definitely looking easy, until Necky started spitting nuts, followed by Zing, who was hovering just over the trees, shooting his stinger. Link managed to avoid one of the nuts, but another hit Kirby, knocking the puffball away. The stinger skimmed past Falco, opening up a shallow cut. A new stinger quickly grew back on Zing.

A loud guffaw was then heard, and Gnawty clambered back to his feet, his fur rippling and becoming a dark red color.

"He's still alive?" Link said, before angrily arming a bomb arrow and firing.

The arrow hit the ground and exploded, as Gnawty, being really naughty, had vanished. Or so it seemed.

"SCATTER!" Bario said, looking up to see the beaver coming down, his jumping prowess greatly increased.

They scattered, but the area they were in wasn't large, compared to the beaver who was in fact, very large. He didn't manage to land on anybody but the shockwave from his near miss sent the light Kirby, Raichu and Falco crashing to the ground.

Samus fired a yellow stun bolt at Gnawty, but the weak attack seemed to do no damage. He merely guffawed and tensed his legs for a second spring. However as he started to jump up, Mario slammed Gnawty in the chin with his hammer, causing him to fall back and land roughly on his furry back.

However before the others could capitalize on the attack, Necky and Zing fired several nuts and stingers, forcing the Smashers to retreat. There was a loud screeching and buzzing, and the aerial minions started to fly towards the Smashers, their sheer numbers compensating for their weakness.

Additionally, Gnawty, now really angry, clambered to his thick feet and started to leap again. The Smashers stepped back, nervous, now that over fifty enemies were flying at them, a giant rabbit-like beaver was stomping around like a deranged one-legged kitten, a massive vulture was launching walnuts at them, and a bee was shooting parts of its abdomen at them. Adding badness to the already bad situation, they were down Meta-Knight, who was currently unconscious, and Diddy who had run off. Basically, they were screwed.

Just as Gnawty leap into the air and the Smashers prepared themselves for the worst, a voice called out.

"RUN!"

Responding quickly the Smashers ran away from the attacking enemies, the familiar voice causing them to react before they could think. Just as they were realizing who had commanded them, Diddy leapt into the spot where the Smashers had been standing.

"Keep back!" He yelled as he removed his guitar from his back.

Gnawty was nearly on top of him, Necky and Zing had edged closer, and dozens of vultures and Zingers were flying at him. Staying calm Diddy strummed rapidly at his bizarre electric guitar. Almost immediately, something surprising happened.

"What the…?" Raichu said.

A large energy wave, in the general star-shape of the head of the guitar radiated outward from the guitar, smacking into Gnawty and effortlessly knocking him off balance and into a tree. The wave seemed to gain in strength the more Diddy played, and it flew on, crashing through the enemies, and Necky and Zing, sending both massive foes plummeting to the ground.

The Smashers saw the wave incoming and dove into the trees on the side of the path, ducking down. The wave passed over them, barely missing the top of Kirby, but strangely seemed to cause no harm to the surrounding area.

When the Smashers looked up they saw that Diddy was standing in the path, surrounded by the fallen bodies of the many enemies and Gnawty. Judging by the way that Gnawty wasn't breathing, he was probably dead. Necky and Zing were lying unmoving farther down the path. The wave had dissipated.

The Smashers slowly stepped out of the trees and back onto the path, where they slowly walked towards Diddy, who was watching Necky and Zing warily, his guitar was still in his hands.

"Diddy…what was that?" Raichu asked.

Diddy jumped and spun around, but when the words registered he relaxed and even managed a small smile.

"Just something I've been wanting to do for a while."

"So is that why you ran off?" Samus asked.

"Yep. Had to get my guitar."

"Well Diddy I'd give you a demerit in attendance, but a B in dramatic timing," Bario said with a grin.

"Just a B?" Diddy asked, smiling back.

"Well, we could have been closer to death."
"Oh shut up," Raichu said.

While the others started to calm down, there was a loud squawking and Necky's head lifted up. The bird screeched and its skin turned a light purple. Necky made a harsh hacking sound and two large walnuts came flying out of the birds beak.

Link raised a shield to block one while Kirby jumped up. Kirby managed to avoid the one aimed at him, but Link was knocked over by the force of the blow. The Smashers started to aim their weapons, but a grating buzzing noise reached their ears, and a now red King Zing flew up and fired several stingers from around his body.

Mario managed to deflect one with his cape, while the others dodged them. Reacting quickly, Bario launched a magic ball that slammed solidly into the bee's head. It shrieked, and exploded…or at least it seemed to. When the smoke cleared, it was apparent that it had somehow split into four yellow bees and one red bee, all about the size of the original Zingers.

"What the?" Falco said, avoiding a trio of nuts from enraged Necky.

"Diddy…any advice?" Bario asked.

"Just hit them with whatever, they don't really have any weak points." Diddy responded, as King Zing dispatched the yellow bees at the Smashers.

The Zingers swirled and weaved and dodged, and flew rapidly towards the Smashers. The Smashers were almost in danger…if they sucked. Since the Smashers certainly did not suck, Diddy and Falco managed to kill one with a laser-peanut combo. The other three quickly fell to an arrow, a firebomb and a magic ball.

Necky fired four walnuts at once then, forcing the others to scatter, while King Zing dashed towards Diddy. He almost reached him too…but Diddy threw an orange grenade and it slammed into the enraged bee. The explosion engulfed him, and he was gone when it dissipated.

Necky let out a frightened screech when it saw that King Zing was dead. Letting loose a great hacking cough, Necky fired five walnuts, but they were easily avoided now that the bird was the only problem.
The Smashers responded quickly to their sole remaining threat and launched their many projectiles at it. Necky shrieked, but seemed unable to retaliate…until it made a movement forward and shattered through the trees, revealing itself in all of its massive birdlike glory.

It looked very much like a humungous vulture, just with purple skin. It towered over the sizes of Gnawty and Zing, and the Smashers even took a frightened step back when confronted with its absurd height. It shrieked once again, opening its mouth wide as it expressed its fury…and that was when Diddy and Link threw their respective explosives in its mouth.

The beak slammed shut as soon as Necky felt something enter its mouth, and looked at the two in confusion as it cautiously swallowed. Diddy and Link were staring at each other, both startled about what the other did, a surprise shared by the other Smashers. Their confusion was abruptly halted when a muffled explosion sounded from Necky.

Returning their attention back to the bird the Smashers saw a hint of smoke leak from its beak, and then it collapsed, a large portion of its internal organs having turned into mush. It had died instantly. The Smashers had little time to view its carcass, as the bodies of the enemies, including that of Necky exploded into the healing pink dust. Relieved that they had defeated K. Rool's minions, the Smashers grinned and started to walk back to D.K's cabin, to try and plan out their next move.

"Nice move," Link said to Diddy.

"Thanks!" Diddy said, quite excited to be getting praise. Raichu grinned, glad that they weren't dead.

"It reminds me of this time I was battling a reptile guy, well you remember, you saw it…"

As Link regaled his exploits to Diddy and Raichu, and the closely following Samus, someone else was having a most unpleasant time…

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Meta-Knight woke up. Well, at least he thought he woke up, he wasn't actually sure. All he saw around him was black. He adjusted his mask and pulled out his sword and started to cautiously walk forward.

He was having difficulty remembering anything. Well, he could remember some things, but everything after arriving to Peach's Castle was a blank. He recalled that he was supposed to be very calm, collected, and prone to calling people "Fool," and remembered Kirby, and all those things…but everything recent was gone. He wasn't even sure how he knew that he knew that he had forgotten things…but he was quite sure that he knew.

"Where am I?" the masked warrior asked.

He wasn't expecting an answer. His expectations were wrong.

"Here," a strangely familiar…yet unfamiliar voice responded.

Meta spun around, but saw nothing.

"Where is here?" he asked nervously, raising his blade.

"Where you are," the voice answered unhelpfully.

Deciding that where wasn't exactly important, he changed his question.

"Who are you?"
"I am me."

Meta growled a bit, frustrated, but unable to shake the growing sense of nervousness that was pervading through him.

"Fine. Be vague. Just show yourself!"
"Why?"
Startled by the question, Meta thought for a second, but he continued to slowly turn, trying to find the source of the voice.

"Because it is cowardly to hide yourself from me! Do you fear me?" Meta asked, his voice showing a confidence that he did not feel.
"Perhaps I am not hiding. Perhaps it is you who is hiding. Perhaps you are afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"Of what may find you."
Meta-Knight almost scoffed, but he sensed a truth in the answer that frightened him.

"Who are you?" he asked again, hoping to get a different response.

"I am still me. A better question would be…Who are you?"
Meta did not respond. He didn't want to play any clever word games with whoever he was speaking with…he had a bad feeling that he would lose. He thought he heard something to his left, and turned that way. He had the notion that he saw a glimpse of something and started to walk towards it, but it vanished quickly.

"Where are you?" Meta demanded.

"I am here."

"What do you want?"
"I want what I want. It is what you want that is important."
"I want to get out of here!" Meta said, noticing a dim light over to his right, and started running there.

"No. You don't."
"Why not?" Meta asked, drawing closer to the light.

"Because then you'll be found." The voice answered simply.

"By what?"

"Does it matter? You don't want to be found."
Meta stopped, trying to figure out what the voice meant. Despite the creepy sensation he was getting from the voice, he didn't feel like it was lying to him. He kept his eye on the dim light, noticing that part of the reason it seemed so dim was because of the purple color it had.

"If I don't want to get out of here then what do I want?"
"I'll tell you one thing you want."

"Yes?"
"You want to be not found."
"That is really not helpful.

"It wasn't supposed to be helpful. Just true."

Meta glanced at the light again, thinking about moving faster and noticed he was closer to it than before. That wasn't a really big deal until he realized that he wasn't moving. The complete darkness he was in made it difficult to determine his speed, but he was pretty sure he was moving at a healthy clip of NOT MOVING AT ALL. And if he wasn't moving, that meant the light was.

"What is that light?" Meta asked, a tinge of nervousness in his voice.

"It's what is going to find you," his invisible companion informed him.

Suddenly deciding that he really didn't want to meet the source of the light, Meta started to back away, but the light seemed to pick up speed. Meta considered standing his ground for a grand total of three seconds, before a wave of terror washed over him. Losing all of his courage, he spun around, leapt into the air and started to flap like a dog covered in very angry cats.

"Ooh…running won't help. It knows where you are, and you don't want to make it annoyed," the voice said.

"Annoyed? What about angry? Does it get angry?" Meta asked, sparing a glance behind him only to feel a fervent wish that he hadn't as the light had gotten considerably closer.

"Uh…well…no. I guess not. Doesn't really get angry."
"Well, at least it can control its temper. Mind telling me what is chasing me?"
"No."
"What? Why not?" Meta said, adrenaline pumping through him, causing him to lose that aura of cool and calm that usually possessed him…that and recent memories were starting to come back…

"Hmm? Oh, I mean I don't mind."
"Well that's a relief-AGH!" Meta broke off and made a sharp right turn, as something spiky had shot out from the purple light that was now right behind him. Unfortunately, he still had no idea what it was.

"Well? Tell me what it is!"

"Okay…but you won't like the answer." the voice said.

Meta had a very strong feeling that the voice wasn't lying. And at that moment he realized why the voice was so familiar…and so strange.

"Hey wait…you're-" Meta-Knight started to say, so shocked by the revelation that he actually dropped to the ground. Before he could finish the sentence there was a bright flash and the place he was in was suddenly brightly lit, a bright and blinding white. Well, at least it should have been blinding, but for some reason his large eyes had no problem adjusting. Which was rather unfortunate when you think about it.

He started to look behind him for the source of the purple light, but an object in front of him drew his attention first. It was surprisingly close, and was walking closer. Meta-Knight stared at the object, the being that had been the source of the voice. It stopped at around five feet from the masked knight, and Meta managed to croak out the end of his sentence.

"You're…me…"

The thing in front of him did indeed look exactly like him, and with the exception of the pitying look, it could have easily passed for Meta-Knight. It shook its body at his statement, and spoke to him like an adult speaking to a child.

"I'm afraid not. I am most certainly not you."
"But…you look and sound…just like me!"
"That is true, but you must conclude logically that I cannot be you."
"How?" Meta asked, confused in a way that actually hurt.

"Because you are there, and I am here, and it is quite impossible for you to be in two places at once, let alone have a conversation with yourself. Unless of course you're insane. In that case I might very well be you. That would also mean that I am insane as well."

"What?"
"Well, it is only logical. If you are insane, which you must be in order to talk with yourself, and if I am you, the only logical conclusion is that I am insane as well. How regrettable. I did so enjoy being sane."
"I don't understand," Meta said.

"Oh. Well then you better not turn around. If you don't understand yourself, you'll never understand that."

At those words, Meta turned around and immediately wished he hadn't. He really should have listened to himself.

The source of the purple light was there, and was emanating from a large blob of a writhing boiling purple mass.
"What?"

The mass started to disperse, creating purple tentacles that snaked towards Meta, revealing something beneath it, something more terrible, because of the lack of horror it inspired.

"Come to me," the being beneath the purple mass demanded.

"This is going to hurt isn't it?"
"I would guess so," he told himself.

The purple tentacles wrapped themselves around Meta and dragged him towards their master. As Meta came closer, he asked one question.

"Who are you?"

The being seemed to consider the question, but seemed to decide the information would do no good.

"I am Kidar."

Meta let out a scream as he touched the being.

A universe away, and only a few centimeters away at the same time, Meta-Knight woke up.