Clash of the Smashers
Chapter Thirty-Five: A sailing we shall go!
"Sailing experience?" Link asked, "Why would you…no!"
"What? What's going on?" Raichu asked.
"This moron wants us to take this ship, and use it to catch K. Rool," Link snorted, and immediately regretted it as his injured ribs did not enjoy that particular use of the diaphragm.
"That's actually a good idea!" Diddy said.
"It seems like the only course of action available to us," Meta stated.
"Well I don't like it!" Link said.
"That's not a surprise," Falco said, the wounds on his back still bleeding faintly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Link demanded.
"Oh come on, you've had it out for Bario ever since this whole thing started," Diddy said, irritated.
"And with good reason!" Link snarled back.
"Like what?" Raichu asked, getting into the argument now.
"Well, we don't know anything about his past!"
"Neither does he. He already said that!" Diddy said.
"And you believe him?" Link asked in disbelief.
"You don't?" Falco said.
"He lied about where he was from before, why wouldn't he lie now?" Link demanded.
"Link, please. You're not accomplishing anything," Samus said.
"What?" Link asked in shock, struggling to crawl to his feet, "You don't believe me either?"
Bario cut her off before she could answer, but the look in her eyes was enough for Link to know that he was alone in his beliefs.
"Stop. I appreciate you all defending me, but it is not necessary. Clearly Link and I have some issues to work out, but now is not the time. We really need to get this ship going," Bario said.
"And how do you suggest we do that?" Link asked.
"Simple. Diddy, you and Raichu crank up the anchor, Samus, Kirby, Meta and Mario, help me push the ship into the ocean," Bario said.
"What about me and paranoid-boy?" Falco asked.
"Hey!" Link yelled.
"Leave him alone Falco," Bario said, stopping any additional comments from either of them, and severely confusing Link, "You two are injured and should stay there. Try and hold onto something, cause this ship might jerk around once we move it."
Bario and the four he called carefully climbed down the side rungs of the ship onto the beach. Well, okay, Bario and Samus carefully climbed down. Mario jumped off, Meta flew and Kirby floated. Link stared after Bario perplexed as to why he had come to his defense. That guy was weird…
Diddy and Raichu managed to find the anchor on the ocean side of the ship, and it didn't take them long to start hoisting. It was heavy though, and they had to put a lot of effort into it. Additionally it was difficult as Link and Falco weren't the only injured ones, everyone was pretty beat up from the last three fights and subsequent fall from the Flying Kroc. They persevered though and were able to get the anchor up rather quickly.
Meanwhile the other five were pushing on the side of the ship, and Samus wasn't entirely sure what they were expecting to accomplish, considering how heavy it had to be. She may be stronger than the average human thanks to the infusion of Chozo blood, but Kirby and Meta were both pretty weak, and Bario was…well, he didn't look particularly strong. Once Mario started pushing however, the ship shuddered and began to move.
It turned out that the five of them together were more than enough to move the massive, yet strangely light ship, and with relative ease they were able to get the whole thing into the ocean. After that the five clambered back onto the ship, where Bario started issuing more commands.
"Diddy, Meta, get those sails up. Mario and Samus, assist Falco and Link below decks and find them someplace to lie down. Kirby, Raichu go below decks as well and see what you can do about finding supplies," Bario said with an easy confidence that implied that he had sailed before.
The others were getting used to being directed by Bario, and quickly fanned out to fulfill their tasks, with Diddy and Meta climbing/flying to the various parts of the ship to open up to the sails, to Mario scooping up Falco like a small doll and carrying the bird being down through the doorway K. Rool had initially come through.
Samus reached down to help Link up, but he jerked away from her touch. He immediately regretted that as his chest released a painful twinge, but he managed to keep from crying out.
"Oh come on. Don't be a baby," Samus said with a frown.
"You don't believe me," Link accused.
"Doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means I think you're a bit of an idiot, but that's fine," Samus said quickly.
"You like me? I'm an idiot?" Link asked in surprise.
"Shut up," Samus said before grabbing Link and hauling him up to his feet.
"Ow!"
"Again, shut up."
Samus let Link lean on her as she half-dragged the proud Hylian warrior down to the lower decks.
When they went down the rather short set of stairs, they found that Mario had already taken Falco somewhere as the two were nowhere to be seen.
The lower decks of the ship were not even remotely cramped. There appeared to only be the one floor, but it encompassed the entire inner section of the ship, which help explained why it was easily pushed. There appeared to be a central hallway which led to three rooms, each of which Samus looked into as they walked down and none of them had any doors.
The first room was an average sized area that appeared to be a storeroom of sorts, with various crates stocked with food ranging from bananas, to things labeled simply "meat." Giving the room a cursory glance, Samus nudged Link along and they looked into the room on the opposite side.
It was larger than the storeroom, and the table with large wooden chairs that took up almost all of the room seemed to indicate that it was an eating area or a place where K. Rool would hold strange reptilian meetings involving the theft of bananas and the napping of primates. Primate-napping? Samus gave this one even less of a glance then the first and headed for the room at the end, which was apparently the room Mario had taken Falco to.
On the way down the small remaining amount of hallway the ship rocked slightly, causing Link to fall heavily into Samus. She stumbled, but she was stronger than a normal human, and had exceptional balance, so she managed to keep her feet, although Link let out a tiny whimper of pain as his ribs rubbed against each other.
"You okay?" Samus asked.
"Fine," Link managed to squeak out.
"I don't think you're fine," Samus said, noticing a widening red spot on his chest.
"I'm…ow…" Link said, before collapsing into Samus's arms.
"Oh…crud…" Samus said, before carrying him into the final room.
It was larger than both of the other rooms, but very uncomplicated. It was composed of twelve simple cots, each nailed to the floor. They were larger than normal human beds, but had only a single sheet and a thin blanket. They rested only three feet above the floor.
Samus noticed Falco lying face-down on one, just as Mario walked past her out of the room. She carefully lay Link down on the nearest cot to the door, where he whimpered again and his eyes widened.
"You need help, like now," Samus said.
"You…right," Link managed to say before seeming to sag with pain.
"Hey, Samus, he needs help," Falco said.
"I KNOW!" Samus yelled, causing Falco to wince, "I just don't know what to do," she trailed off.
"Get Bario," Falco suggested.
Samus didn't even bother to respond. She immediately turned around and ran out of the room and down the hallway, blowing past Mario who said "whoa!" and dashed up the stairs, right as the ship hit a swell, causing her to stumble out onto the deck.
Bario was staring at a purple sphere in his hand, and was steering the ship in a direction Samus recognized as the same one as K. Rool's Flying Kroc had disappeared in. She called out to him, and when he looked down and saw her from his higher perch atop the steering area, he closed his hand, making the sphere disappear.
"What is it?" Bario asked.
"Link, he's really hurt. He needs you, now!" Samus told him.
Nodding, Bario pointed at Diddy and Kirby.
"You two take over."
Without saying a word they agreed and jumped up to the raised section of the ship that the wheel was on. Pointing in the direction they should go, Bario wasted no more time and ran down the stairs, and then followed Samus into the ship.
They passed by Mario who was examining the storeroom, and seeing them run past him, he turned and followed and soon the three of them reached the chamber that Link and Falco were residing in.
Meanwhile on the top deck, Raichu and Meta, having made sure everything was in order and the ship wasn't going to sink wandered over to where Diddy was standing on Kirby's rock form to control the wheel. Raichu looked up at him, squinting a little from the glare of the sun over the cloudless sky.
"So what's the plan?" Raichu asked.
"Plan?" Diddy asked.
"For taking down K. Rool?" Raichu said.
"Oh. I don't know," Diddy said, kind of indifferently.
"Why do you act this way?" Meta asked.
"Act what…agh!" Diddy said when he realized who had spoken.
"What?"
"Sorry, I'm just REALLY not used to you be coherent," Diddy said.
"I still do not understand," Meta stated.
"Don't worry about it. What'd you mean?"
"You seem to not care about K. Rool. Is he not your dimensions primary antagonist? Do you not look forward to his defeat?"
"Well, yeah, but I don't know. Ever since this whole adventure started, K. Rool just seemed like a minor detail, especially after Giga," Diddy said, grinding his teeth.
"I see." Meta Knight said.
Listening, but more interested in a detail that had been bugging him for a while, Raichu walked around the edge of the ship, carefully stepping down the stairs and peering over the side. He completed a full circuit, at which point he ended up back at the wheel where Meta and Diddy were both staring at him with interest.
"What?"
"What were you doing?" Diddy asked.
"I was checking for any damage from K. Rool's missiles," Raichu responded in a confused voice.
"And? What did you find?" Meta Knight asked.
"Nothing. They didn't leave a dent, just a few scorched sections of the hull," Raichu stated.
"Well what did you expect?" Diddy asked.
"Well, I want to know how mere wood managed to withstand that kind of power!" Raichu said.
"Mere wood? What's tougher than wood?" Diddy asked.
"What?" Raichu and Meta Knight said.
In the cot room beneath the ship, Bario was looking at Link, who was forcing himself to stay conscious and was giving Bario a look that would melt steel. Fortunately, Bario wasn't steel, so he did not melt.
"Don't you dare do anything to me you son of a-" Link growled as Bario's left hand started to glow purple.
"LINK!" Samus said, "Shut up!"
"I'm just going to see what's wrong with you okay?" Bario asked, looking quite concerned.
"NO! It is not okay! I don't want you messing with me at all!" Link said, starting to move away from Bario, but he stopped suddenly, hissing in pain.
At that moment Bario ran his hand over Link, keeping it a good foot over him. It was over in a second, but Link's eyes widened when he saw the hand pass over him, and experienced what felt like a small hand probing him. Ignoring the pain in his chest he lunged forward and slammed Bario in the face with a punch that was more unexpected than powerful, and Bario was sent stumbling back into a cot.
Samus started to admonish him but Link crumpled back, and she saw what looked like a hard white object poking out of his tunic. His breathing quickened.
"Oh no!" Mario said, leaning against the wall by the door.
"Yeah. Link, you are so going to die!" Falco said, the large wounds on his back still oozing slightly.
"No…he's not," Bario said, standing up again.
"See, I'm fine. I don't need you," Link spat.
"Yes, you do. That cannonball snapped three of your ribs, and the fall bruised several of your vertebrae. You've suffered massive internal bleeding, and one of your kidneys is punctured as is your skin from your broken ribs. I'm amazed you are able to move at all, but if I don't act fast, you will die."
"I'm not letting you do anything to me!" Link snarled.
"Damn it Link! Don't be an idiot!" Samus angrily said.
"NO! I'd rather die than let him screw with me like he did Meta Knight!"
"Isn't there something else we could do?" Falco asked, "Cause my back is killing me, and I really want it taken care of."
"Well, with no powerful enemies nearby we can't count on the pink dust. If you don't let me help you Link, than I know of no other alternative…except maybe…" Bario turned towards Mario.
Mario looked at Bario, than at Link, and still maintaining that half-smile he always seemed to have, he nodded.
"What?" Samus said, not understanding the significance of that nod, nor why Bario was now grinning.
"Mario will take care of him," Bario said.
"How?" Link said, his anger starting to fade as the pain increased.
Mario started to spin, doing what looked like a Mario Tornado in the doorway. It was over quick, but what appeared after it was quite amazing.
Mario's clothes had become white. In fact they weren't even the same clothes. He was wearing some kind of multi-pocketed lab coat with white slacks and a red tie beneath the coat. His hat had vanished, replaced by a headband with a strange silvery cylinder on the front. His neck was adorned with a stethoscope.
"It's-a me-a, Dr. Mario!" Mario said, quite pleased with himself.
"I had no idea you could do that," Link said, the shock overriding his pain briefly.
"When did you get a PhD?" Samus asked unsure of whether or not this was a good thing.
Mario just grinned wider and walked over to Link.
"Well, while he takes care of you, I'm going to fix up Falco," Bario said.
"I am totally on board with that," Falco said as Bario stepped towards him and raised his glowing hands. As he lay them on Falco's back the wounds immediately started to close.
Mario meanwhile was looking carefully at Link, examining the wound and gently poking and feeling around. It didn't hurt, but it sure felt weird.
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Link asked worriedly.
"Yes!" Mario stated before calmly grabbing Link's left arm and holding it down.
"I don't think I like this," Link started to say.
"Too bad," Samus told him, "I just hope Mario doesn't kill you. Wouldn't that be a great reason to die, because you were too paranoid to let a qualified mage heal you and instead let a deluded plumber try and fix you."
As if in response to her words, Mario's non-occupied hand came down with lightning speed, grabbing and pushing Link's rib back into his body. Link let out a scream of pain, and tried to push Mario away, but the plumber held him down. Samus's eyes widened as Mario's arms blurred around Link's body, pushing and shoving his bones into place. Mario flipped Link over like he was a doll and quickly and efficiently straightened out the damaged spine before flipping him back over.
"Maybe you should stop! I don't want him to die!" Samus said, actually worried.
Mario merely ignored her and finished his painful looking task. Link lay motionless, his bones no longer protruding, but his eyes looked like a mixture of agony and rage.
"You stupid-" Link started to say before Mario shoved a red and blue capsule into his mouth that seemed to come out of his sleeve and shot a small burst of electricity from his hands into Link's chest, forcing him to swallow.
"What was that…" Link said as his eyes began to close.
"That pill should restore your blood and repair some of your internal damage. Hopefully," Bario said, having finished healing Falco, "It will also send you into a forced sleep and accelerate your normal healing process. The forced sleep is the major reason why Mario hasn't been using those on this trip."
"That's nice, wait…how…you…know…" Link said before turning his head to the side. His breathing soon slowed as he fell into a deep sleep.
"Thanks, Mario," Samus said.
"You're-a welcome!" Mario said, before spinning back into his normal clothes.
"Sleeping looks like a pretty good idea actually," Falco said, before closing his eyes.
"Now what?" Samus asked.
"I'll head back up and take back control of the ship. I'll send everyone else back down to empty the storeroom. You need to eat," Bario told her.
"What about you?"
"I'll have something later tonight, when the wind dies down I'll stop the ship. I've used a destination tracking ability, we won't reach K. Rool until tomorrow."
"That's neat…but my ship could have tracked him as well," Samus said.
"Didn't know. Anyways, you and Mario start getting some food ready.
Mario and Samus nodded and the three of them left Link and Falco to rest.
Outside the rest area, Mario and Samus went to the storeroom and started examining boxes while Bario continued on to the top of the ship where Diddy was trying to understand why Raichu and Meta Knight disagreed with him about saying that wood was the toughest material ever.
"I'm just trying to understand why you disagree with me saying that wood is the toughest material ever!" Diddy said.
"But it's not, numerous metals are stronger," Meta told him.
"Not here they're not," Bario said, stepping up to them.
"What?" All three said.
"In this particular dimension, wood, at least certain kinds, is far more powerful than steel. It's just one of the rules."
"I don't understand," Raichu said.
"It's simple. Each dimension has their own rules. These rules can be bent, which is why you maintain your abilities in these other worlds, but the rules still exist. These rules govern what kinds of people, and materials can be found, and what they can do. It's really quite fascinating," Bario said.
"Right…" Diddy said, pretending he knew exactly what Bario was talking about.
Staring into the confused faces, Bario cleared his throat and gestured to the lower decks of the ship.
"Uh…there's food below. I would suggest you eat it, and then get to bed…it's been a while since anyone here has had any sleep."
Worried he might have to prod them a bit to get them to leave, Bario was relieved to see them perk up at the idea of food, and Raichu, Meta and Diddy quickly dashed to the bottom section of the ship.
Bario walked over to the wheel, but almost tripped over Kirby who was still staying beneath the wheel in a rock-like form.
"Kirby? Food." Bario said.
"OK!" Kirby shouted, turning back into his normal pink self and dashing down to the food.
Bario chuckled, and then caused the purple sphere to reappear in his hands. Frowning, he glanced at it, and then slightly changed the direction of the ship.
Below decks, Mario used some of his fireballs to cleverly cook the meat and the six Smashers had a much wanted meal of bananas and a meat that none of them were quite sure of what it exactly consisted of.
The food was edible though, and they gobbled it down, while taking advantage of the rare opportunity to share information about themselves with each other.
Diddy told about his many exploits with Donkey Kong and other members of his family, and his multiple run-ins with K. Rool. He did not mention the Giga Bowser and Dixie incident at all.
Raichu explained what life was like for him in his home world, and discussed the many interesting situations he found himself in, including an awkward one involving a human in a red cap who kept screaming about "Catching them all," whatever that meant. He also did not mention Mewtwo.
Meta Knight did the talking for both him and Kirby, and told the others of the various challenges they were often in, including the times they engaged in most epic combat.
Samus started to talk about herself, but after a sudden glance around, a guilty look came over her face, and she quickly stopped.
Before the others could ask her about her abrupt stop, Falco wandered in, looking kind of tired. He perked up upon seeing the food, and sat down to eat some of the leftovers. The others pressed him for any details about himself, and he quickly responded.
He told them about Andross, the Star Fox team, and of course the Star Wolf team. After he finished Mario yawned, and told them "Thank you very much-a for eating my food!" after that, he walked into the room where Link was still sleeping and hopped into a cot, falling asleep instantly.
After that the conversation was pretty much over. A quick look through a small viewport revealed that it was quite dark inside…they had been talking for hours. With full bellies, they were looking forward to getting the first real sleep in ages and they all passed into the room, and crept into cots and fell asleep, after removing shoes and weapons.
Except for one.
Samus, after waiting to make sure everyone else was asleep, crept over to Link, who was still sound asleep. Carefully moving him around to remove his weapons, which looked like they were uncomfortable to have on in a laying down position, she quietly told him about herself, and her adventures.
While she placed his equipment beneath the cot and out of the way, she told the sleeping and clueless Link about the Chozo and Space Pirates, about Metroids and Ing, Phazon and the X. She stayed there for over half-an hour after she finished with his items, and after she was done she looked at his motionless body for a second and started to form a final sentence.
"Link…I…"
That's as far as she got before shaking her head, she wandered back to her cot and closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind of the thoughts that were rampaging through it.
On the top of the ship, Bario silently and efficiently steered them towards their destination.
Several hours later…
Link opened his eyes. Upon using them to see where he was, he leapt to his feet. He was standing on a wide platform, with a wide black streak running down the middle and it was surrounded by light blue flooring. He looked wildly around and noticed that the platform was flying through what looked like a swirling vortex.
His examination of the area was halted when he heard a familiar voice call out his name. Spinning around he saw a woman about his age on the opposite side of this strange place, with long brown hair and elven ears. She was clad in a long dress with a Triforce symbol on it. She raised her thin arms and placed her white gloved hands to her mouth and called his name again.
"Zelda?" Link said in shock.
Without wasting another moment he ran towards her. She smiled as he did, but as he got closer she changed. Link didn't realize it at first, but as he ran she became taller, her clothes became tighter and blue and her hair became blond. By the time he reached her she had become Samus.
"Samus?" Link said, again quite shocked.
She smiled at him, and then reached down. Link followed her gaze to see she was holding her helmet. She raised it to her face, and as she did Link saw that she was suddenly in her power suit. She started to put her helmet on, but something jumped up from behind her.
A familiar laugh echoed around the vortex traveling platform and Samus was grabbed from behind and forcefully spun around, dropping her helmet.
"NO!" Link shouted as a large green skinned man dressed in dark armor grabbed her face and shot a pulse of dark magic through her head.
Samus screamed, but with a sharp twist of the man's –Ganondorf's- hand her scream was cut too short, and with casual disregard Samus's beaten body was flung off the platform, vanishing.
With a sharp clunk her helmet hit the floor and Link was spurred into action. He let loose a cry of rage and raising his blade, ran at Ganondorf. Laughing Ganondorf summoned a large pure white blade that he used to block Link's mad overhead swing.
Link pushed down, but Ganondorf easily held him back, and actually started to push him away, still laughing.
As Link stared his hated foe in the face, Ganondorf started to change like Zelda had, his laugh becoming higher pitched, and featured less pure malice and more cold resolve. He shrank, becoming barely taller than Link, his muscles and green skin disappearing. His armor turned red and became a tunic markedly similar to Link's. His orange hair became a purplish color, as did his eyes, and the large white blade became two steely-gray ones.
In a matter of moments Ganondorf had become Bario. Link's eyes widened and he pushed again, but he fared no better, and in seconds Bario's superior strength had driven Link to his knees and still laughing, raised one of his blades up, as if to remove Link's head.
But the show wasn't done yet.
Before the sword came down, and before Link's terrified eyes, Bario changed again, his clothes becoming entirely purple, followed by his skin. The blades seemed to sink into Bario, as his body sagged together, creating a massive purple blob that darkened nearly too black. All courage left Link as the terrible monstrosity before Link reached out a thin tentacle towards him.
The tentacle crept closer and Link couldn't tear his eyes from it. The ground beneath him shook and cracked, but the tentacle continued unhindered. Right before it touched him a frighteningly loud voice bellowed into his mind.
"I AM KIDAR!"
Early Morning…
Link shot up in his cot, a scream dying on his lips. He sat there for several minutes, trying to separate what he had just seen from reality. He realized he was sitting in a cot damp with cold sweat, and he got up, almost falling over in the dark as he realized his weapons and equipment were gone.
Link experience a rare moment of panic until his eyes adjusted and he saw them under his cot. Trying to be quiet to not disturb the others, who seemed to be sleeping…Mario was snoring, so Link guessed he was not awake, Link grabbed his things and started to attach them to him.
Faint starlight filtered through the single porthole in the room, and the orange glow of the sun just peeking up from behind the horizon.
Link noticed that he no longer suffered from pain. Mario may have been a plumber, but apparently he had somehow earned a doctor's degree. He stopped his weapon attaching and felt his chest, but there wasn't even any tenderness. After wordlessly thanking Mario, he continued getting ready.
In a few minutes he was done, and to his best guess no one had been awakened. Silently he crept out of the room and up the stairs onto the main deck of the ship. Breathing in the fresh sea air, Link leaned up against the railing and looked out at the sea.
"What are you doing up so early?" a voice called out.
Startled Link spun around, hand reaching for his sword, until he saw who it was.
"Oh," Link said, lowering his hand, albeit slowly, "It's you."
Bario nodded, hand lightly resting on the wheel.
"Did you sleep at all last night?" Link asked, a slightly accusatory tone in his voice.
"I got a good six hours once I was sure we were going in the right direction. I just woke up a few minutes ago actually."
"Sure," Link said, walking up to the higher point on the ship where Bario was currently standing.
Hearing Link's tone Bario let out a long sigh.
"What now?" Link demanded, standing only a few feet from Bario, trying to not think about the…nightmare.
"Do you really have to do this?" Bario asked.
"What, not trust you because you're a lying snake?"
"Act like that," Bario said, sighing again, "It's really annoying."
"I don't trust you, and until you're completely honest with me that's not going to change," Link said angrily.
"I told you about me, how I've been forced to travel through dimensions. What more do you want?"
"For starters your real name."
"What?" Bario said, quite startled.
"Come on, you expect me to believe that BARIO is your actual name? One letter away from Mario? Give me a break."
"I don't have one," Bario said.
"What?"
"I don't have a name. I just picked that one after I heard about Mario. I have no idea what my real name is, or if it even exists."
"Hmmm," Link said, trying to maintain his suspicion, but he was having trouble with that.
"Look Link, clearly you have a problem with me."
"Yeah."
"Than let's settle this," Bario said, drawing his swords and backing away from the wheel.
"What?"
"Let's have a duel to the death," Bario said with a grin on his face.