Now I feel like a dork. :P I hadn't even started chapter 23 when I posted the little "outtake", but pretty much immediately after posting it, I suddenly got a burst of inspiration and slammed my hands on the keyboard like a madwoman...and this happened. I've gone over it maaaaany times, and I keep finding little mistakes, so forgive any weird typos if I missed them, pretty please.
trudes193- Thanks!
EmpireAndAll- You're not the only one thinking Lisa made a big mistake. We'll have to wait and see, won't we? :)
KnoKayme- :D
Clavis Salomonis- I will NEVER abbreviate your name. :) Reviews like yours and Pirate Gyrl's are making the work I put into this story worthwhile. It means a lot when people notice and appreciate the details. And I know I've said it before, but I LOVE the drawing you made for the story! Thanks again!
Skitter-Experiment- I think you are the first one to mention the Princess Bride reference, actually. Glad you liked it! And just so you know, your reply to my small preview was an influence on how this chapter turned out (as far as their fight goes). I think I added two more pages of details after I read it. :)
Pirate Gyrl- See my review to Clavis above. :) Yes, Caleb does not screw around when it comes to murder. Personally, if I had to be in a dark alley with Jackson or killer!Caleb, I'd take my chances with Jackson. :P
NOTE: This chapter is much longer than usual, and it gets rather explicit near the end. Also, POV's change like crazy. I hope it doesn't get too confusing.
Chapter 23: A Life So Changed
Jackson jumped out of the car before Jeff had even put it in park. He was tired of listening to Ben rant about his bipolar girlfriend and just wanted to get to the shower. He threw open the front door and walked into the living room, freezing when he saw the scene before him. He made eye contact with Lisa, whose eyes were red and glassy. Concern flickered across his eyes as it registered that she had been crying. An empty bottle of Captain caught his eye. So she was drinking...and not alone. His stare rested on Cheryl. Her hands were not bound. Lisa was sitting right next to her. Jackson raised an eyebrow.
"Girls' night in?" he asked coldly, not looking at Lisa. He couldn't look at her- she knew what Cheryl was capable of, and she had not only half-released her, she had gotten herself drunk in the meantime? Jackson didn't even want to think of what could have happened if they had been away longer than they had.
Jackson sensed another man coming to a stop behind him, and knew instinctively that it was Caleb. "I love it when we all get along," his brother muttered dryly. For their part, the two women stared silently at the brothers. Lisa's eyes were wide and her jaw was slightly dropped, either in horror from the blood on their faces or the fear from fact that she had been caught. Or maybe she was aroused by the shirtless brothers. Jackson couldn't tell what she was thinking, and he wasn't sure that he really cared. All he could see were Cheryl's bare wrists, and he felt bile rising in the back of his throat.
Jackson barely noticed the other two men walk in behind him, their conversation halting. He advanced toward Lisa, who shot to her feet unsteadily. "Jackson-" she got out before he grabbed her by the arm, roughly dragging her toward Jeff's bedroom. Lisa struggled to stay on her feet, protesting the entire distance. She stumbled into the room, almost falling on her face as Jackson slammed the door shut behind them.
"Don't you ever manhandle me!" she snapped, whipping around to face him. She slapped him across the face, but unfortunately, she used her sprained wrist and ended up crying out in pain, cradling the injured limb.
Ben turned to the closed door when he heard Lisa cry out. "Is he going to kill her?" he asked lightly, but there was a genuine question under the levity.
"Probably not," Caleb replied, matching Ben's tone as he knelt in front of his wife. He took her hands in his, fingering the angry lacerations that the cords had left on her wrists. "Why didn't you just talk to me?" he asked softly, raising his eyes to meet hers. He clenched his jaw, swallowing hard as he studied her broken face and puffy eyes. Cheryl knitted her eyebrows, but she didn't respond. "You could have just left me, you know."
Ben turned to face Jeff and nodded in the direction of the kitchen awkwardly. The two men quickly exited, giving Cheryl and Caleb what little privacy that they could.
Cheryl turned her wrists in Caleb's hands to run her fingers along the rusty lines of dried blood staining the creases of his palms. "Did you kill him?" she asked. Caleb nodded, closing his hands around Cheryl's. He squeezed tightly, staring into her eyes.
"Why didn't you just leave me for him?" he asked again, desperate for some kind of answer. His insides were pulling him in every direction- he loved her, he hated her, and he had no idea who she even was. All he wanted was some sense in the chaos. Cheryl opened her mouth, her features twisted in conflict, but she quickly reigned in her emotions and became stone-faced.
"You were a great cover," she replied coldly. Caleb snapped back to reality- the moment was over. He released Cheryl's hands and reached for the cords. As Caleb roughly wrapped the cords around her hands again, pulling them even more tightly than before, Cheryl let her head drop onto the back of the chair with a silent sigh. She closed her eyes tightly when Caleb rose to his feet and quickly walked away from her. She had a plan, and she was going to see it through to the end.
Jackson leaned against the door as Lisa dropped onto the bed, still cradling her arm. "Feel better?" he mocked.
Lisa shot daggers at him. "Don't talk to me like that," she retorted. "Or are you...incapable of talking like a human being?"
Jackson tilted his head to the side, slight amusement on his features. "Since when are you a mean drunk?" he asked, refusing to show how her question cut him.
Lisa scoffed. "I'm not drunk," she insisted, but her there was a slur in her words. "Cheryl drank more than I did." She turned her wrist carefully, wincing. "I'm just sick of you trying to manage me. You aren't going to make me feel bad with your little games." Jackson rolled his eyes. What wasn't she sick and/or tired of lately?
"What were you thinking?" he hissed, getting even more frustrated. Why couldn't she see that she was wrong, and he was right? He should be able to gain control with ease, but she was being so stubborn. Why didn't she understand that life wasn't a sweet little story where everything ended happily? At some point, a person has to choose a side and stick with it.
"She saved your life!" Lisa spat, stomping one foot on the carpet. She glanced at the door behind Jackson, her eyes narrowed. "She didn't have to tell me that stuff, you know. She could have let you all die."
Jackson was unmoved. "She had ulterior motives," he insisted. "This is what we do, Leese." He couldn't explain why Cheryl had told Lisa about Robert's plan, but then he didn't really understand a majority of her actions lately. She could be medically insane for all he knew.
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe it's just that you're still her friend and Caleb is still her husband?" Lisa demanded, her words a quick jumble. She stood and paced around the room, glancing at the door every once in a while.
Jackson dropped his head back against the door in frustration. Of all the stupid shit...He could not believe that they were even having this conversation. As Lisa continued to pace, Jackson shifted his weight, getting ready for her to rush him. There was something dangerous in the way she held herself. "Not everything is black and white," she told him.
Jackson shook his head. "Sometimes it is. She wouldn't plot to kill Caleb and then want to save him. And she wouldn't have done this if we were friends." He spat out the word as though it were some kind of insult. It was incredible how easily Cheryl had wrapped Lisa around her finger. He wouldn't have been surprised if Lisa announced that she wanted to go to the spa with her, let alone not kill her anymore.
"You're such a..." Lisa trailed off with a sigh, shaking her head. She turned to face Jackson head-on. "Can I leave now?" she asked, and it was obvious that she had no remorse for her actions. She thought Cheryl could actually be redeemed, and she was actually angry at Jackson for disagreeing. Unbelievable. He pursed his lips and then relaxed again, drumming the fingers of his free hand against the door. She wasn't cut out for this. It was obvious what he had to do.
He nodded, but didn't move from the doorway. "You're going to New York today," he informed her. Lisa did a double take and started to argue. "Don't bother," Jackson insisted, waving his free hand to cut her off. "I can't trust you to finish this, and I don't need you in my way."
"What about my family?" Lisa cried, shifting quickly from one foot to the other. Her hands balled up into fists. Jackson stood his ground.
"I'm not going through all that work only to have you back down in the end," he replied firmly. "Especially when I have two days to finish Keefe. I don't need you fucking up everything." He braced himself as Lisa came flying at him and quickly sidestepped, spinning to pin her to the door with one arm, leaning his weight against her to keep her subdued. He winced as fire shot up his side and pressed the cloth even more tightly with his free hand.
Jackson studied the angry woman pressed up against him. It wasn't personal- he was doing this for her own good, as well as his own. He wanted to calm her, make her feel better, but there was no way to do so when he was the source of her anger. He knew that he was right, that there was too good of a chance that she would not be able to finish the job, but the regret still nagged at him.
For the first time, he actually felt completely trapped in his own life. He wanted to say forget Keefe, forget the feds, and just be with her like the normal person that he didn't know how to be. For the first time, he genuinely regretted the entirety of the person he was. He had had his doubts about certain aspects, but nothing like this. He didn't even want to kill Keefe anymore- it was just something he had to do.
He hated that he loved how she was standing up to him. He should be angry that she was being defiant and making things even more difficult for him, but even as she sent pain through his body with her struggling, he loved her more for it. This realization only served to reinforce his decision. He couldn't let her become jaded like he was- death could not be a normal occurrence to her. Jackson had to protect her from him. He couldn't avoid the situation anymore or waffle over what to do. He now knew that he loved Lisa, and had to send her away for both their sakes. He may be trapped, but there was no reason to put her in the same position anymore.
"It's done," he murmured, bowing his head. "I'm sorry." He quickly dropped a kiss on her forehead and gently pushed her from the door, walking out of the bedroom. Thankfully, Lisa didn't follow him, but as he shut the door behind him, Jackson could hear her start to cry. He ran a hand through his hair and forced a straight face as he dropped down on the couch, facing Cheryl.
"Looks like we're have to find a new way to kill you," he remarked as he leaned back against the couch cushions, exhausted. He let his head drop back and groaned in pain. His entire body hurt from lack of sleep and the previous events, and now his head was pounding. "Lisa is leaving."
"Shame," came the reply, and Jackson noted that she didn't sound any better off than he did. He grunted in response, pinching the bridge of his nose. He hissed softly as he felt Ben drop onto the couch near him, jostling his body.
"Don't get blood on my couch," Jeff scolded half-heartedly, placing a can of Coke in Jackson's hand. Jackson didn't reply. Part of him was trying to forge ahead, make him sit up and carry on like he normally would, but there was an overwhelming exhaustion preventing him. He kept reminding himself that he was making the right choice, but sending Lisa away was one of the last things he wanted to do.
How fitting that when he realized that he loved her was also when he knew that he couldn't be with her. In reality, he had known it all along, but had been stupidly content to pretend that there was a chance. He had been weak. He just wanted to sleep now, and wake up when she was safely on a plane and things were easier...but could he ever go back? He would eventually move on from Lisa, but in the meantime, she had torn down his defenses and led to him being in uncharted waters with both his brother and himself. Truths that had been hidden for years were shooting to the surface, and it was just one more thing stealing his energy.
Jackson rubbed his eyelids roughly. He knew that he was a horrible brother. He had dragged Caleb back into this mess that he had put so much work into putting behind him. Jackson wasn't that blind- he saw the look in his brother's eyes back on that road. There was nothing but ice. It was the first time in many years that Jackson really felt as though he was looking in a mirror.
Images flashed in Jackson's dark mind, a forgotten dream. Caleb next to him, blood pouring out of his chest and mouth, and Lisa draped over him, her throat slashed and her blood spilling onto his chest. A knife in his own chest. Jackson's throat tightened. He was in a free fall into hell and was pulling the two people he loved most down with him. He was a sinner beyond redemption, but maybe he could do something to save them.
He felt a burst of energy and sat up, his eyes opening. He turned to Ben, who was patiently waiting for some kind of plan. "You're going to work tech and logistics," he ordered, ignoring the wide-eyed surprise on other man's face. "Make sure we stay off the security cameras, figure out the basics of the hotel, and get the supplies we need." He motioned to Jeff. "He can help you if you need it."
"Logistics?" Ben repeated in disbelief, which was no surprise to Jackson. He was well aware that Ben was second only to Caleb when it came to guns, but Jackson wasn't about to put him in the offense. It would be a waste. "So is Caleb going with you to Keefe's room?" he asked, still incredulous.
Jackson shook his head. "Caleb is going back to Minnesota," he replied firmly. He knew that he could keep Caleb around in case of injuries, but he doubted that he would be of any help. As far as he was concerned, no one who went up to that room was getting out alive. Having Ben work on the securities was a formality to maintain some façade of normalcy.
If he appeared to be unconcerned with detection, it would be obvious to everyone that this was a suicide mission, which it definitely was. He knew enough about security to know that Keefe's room would be heavily guarded and that they just didn't have the manpower to do anything other than get to the room and make sure that Keefe was dead before falling themselves. And on the off chance that they did make it out alive, of course he didn't want any record of their identities.
"So who is going to the room?" Ben asked skeptically. Jackson finally took a drink from his soda and cringed. He hated soda, but he needed the caffeine.
"I'm going to call Trudi and have her send over some trainees," he explained. "My people are on other jobs right now, so I can't get them here in time." It wasn't a complete lie. Most of Jackson's team was off on missions, but he did have two still in New York. Just as it was with Ben, though, he wasn't going to risk them getting killed. They were too useful.
"So...cannon fodder," Ben corrected, apparently not fooled by Jackson's plan. "Sheer brilliance."
Jackson didn't reply. He stared across at Cheryl, who was eying him quizzically. Was he really that transparent? He reminded himself that wasn't being pathetic- he was being realistic. There was no way for them to get in and out without losing most of their people. They would have to get to Keefe through a doorway, and being on the offensive when it came to doors was a serious disadvantage- not to mention that on the other side of that door were an unknown number of highly trained bodyguards.
They couldn't bring a large group of people, for two reasons. First, it wouldn't help the doorway situation, and two, there was no way to covertly go through a hotel in the middle of the night with more than three people, four at most. It was almost too much to hope for to even get to Keefe, but that was Jackson's goal. He wasn't concerned with getting out, because it seemed so unlikely.
Lisa curled up against the wall, squeezing her stomach. She was all cried out, and her insides were churning. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ride out her waves of nausea. She was hesitant to go to the bathroom because she could hear the shower running. Finally, it came down to barging in on whomever was in the shower or throwing up all over Jeff's carpet, so Lisa sprang to her feet and ran to the bathroom.
"Sorry!" she called out as she entered before kneeling in front of the toilet.
"You okay?" she heard either one of the twins—probably Caleb—ask.
"No," she moaned, and then emptied her stomach into the toilet. "Which one are you?" she asked weakly before throwing up again.
"The better looking one," came the reply. Lisa smiled faintly. It was Caleb. Thank God. She didn't know if she could deal with talking to Jackson at that moment. She knew full well that when he said he was sending her to New York, it meant that he had no intentions of seeing her anymore. She would be hidden away in some shitbox apartment with a fake name and some job the agency got for her, and that would be it. She could never live her own life. What had seemed like a minor irritation earlier in the day was now making her want to pull out her hair.
Lisa pulled herself to her feet and looked at the sink. No glass...what the hell was wrong with Jeff? She leaned down to drink directly from the tap when the door opened again. Lisa jumped up, smacking her cheek on the faucet. "Goddamn it," she hissed and turned around to see a familiar face.
"Alex?" she asked, confused. What was her neighbor doing here?
He smiled awkwardly, handing her a glass of water. "Call me Ben," he replied. Lisa raised her eyebrows, rinsing her mouth with the water before turning around to spit into the sink. Alex was in the agency? He had been lying to her this whole time? She rested her elbows on the counter top and dropped her face into her palms. Was this all really happening to her?
"So are we having a party in here now?" Caleb called, turning off the shower.
"Anywhere that you're naked is the place to be," Ben replied. Lisa shook her head in her hands and heard Caleb pull back the shower curtain.
"You told me you were in computers," she said softly, confused. What were the odds that he was involved with Jackson? And furthermore, why did Jackson tail her if he already had an in?
Ben reached around, handing her a second glass. "I am. It's my cover," he told her.
"You two know each other?" Caleb asked, sitting on the edge of the tub, a towel wrapped securely around his waist. "What happened to your face?" he asked Lisa, frowning. She gestured absently toward the faucet.
"I hit it," she replied, lowering the lid on the toilet and taking a seat. Now that Caleb was done with the shower, she reached back and flushed.
"She lives below me," Ben explained, leaning against the bathroom wall. Lisa nodded.
"We do laundry together sometimes," she elaborated, distracted. This new development was just one more thing for her to deal with. "Why did Jackson follow me if we're already friends?"
Ben shrugged. "I didn't tell him," he replied. "And we aren't really friends," he reminded her, which was true. They were barely on a first name basis, or was it a false name basis? Lisa groaned and rested her elbows on her knees.
"Can't trust anyone," she muttered bitterly. It did explain why she hadn't seen him for the two months prior to her flight, but that was little consolation.
"Aw, that's not fair," Ben replied, feigning offense. "You can trust Cal."
"Oh, shut up," Lisa replied angrily. "You could have warned me that this was going to happen." Her head snapped up and she glared at Ben. "Wait- did you give me up? Did you offer me as an 'in' at the hotel?"
Ben held up both hands in self-defense. "Calm down," he replied, "Of course I wasn't going to warn you- don't be stupid. And no, I just said that I didn't tell them I knew you. How exactly would I 'give you up' without sharing that detail?"
Lisa said nothing, but continued to glare at him. He could have prevented everything- her dad's death, her empty future, the bullet in her arm- all of it. "It was your turn to bring the detergent," she pointed out bitterly. "I used all mine up and had to buy more." She knew she was being ridiculous, but Ben's poorly-hidden grin just angered her further.
"You would have had to buy more eventually anyway," he replied good-naturedly, "You only had a little left."
A hand on her knee caught Lisa's attention before she could respond. "What's really wrong, Lisa?" Caleb asked, noting her puffy eyes. "And don't say you're pissed about having to buy more detergent."
"Besides this jerk stabbing me in the back, Jackson's sending me to New York," she responded flatly, playing with the bandage around her wrist. "He's not going to help me. He thinks I'm a burden."
"Help you with what?" Ben asked, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. Lisa didn't respond- she didn't really feel like talking to him at that moment.
"We were going to stage her death and trade in Cheryl," Caleb replied, not taking his eyes from her.
Lisa shook her head. "I don't want to go live some random person and work with the agency." She kept the fact that she wanted to stay with Jackson to herself. She hated that he was pushing her away because she showed Cheryl kindness. And he was wrong- she would go through with it- that was why she was nice to Cheryl in the first place. But of course he refused to listen to her- he was so stubborn.
"Maybe you should go live with Cal," Ben offered, grinning at his friend. Caleb shrugged, slicking back his dripping hair.
"I still have to deal with getting a divorce," he replied. "It might be hard to convince people that Cheryl just up and left if I have another woman living there." He yawned. "But it would be fine, if you want. And if you can cook." He laughed humorlessly. "And if we make it through this alive."
Ben furrowed his brows. "We?" he asked, confused. "Jack said you're going home."
Caleb and Lisa turned to face Ben, both frowning. "He said what?" Caleb asked incredulously.
"He's sending Caleb away too?" Lisa asked simultaneously, resting her chin in her palms. "So it's you two against Keefe and his men?"
Ben nodded and leaned forward, his face like stone. Caleb followed suit, glancing at Lisa with an expression of disbelief. "I think he's lost it," Ben said, his voice barely above a whisper. "He's having me do prep and sending for trainees."
Caleb gripped his own knee, his knuckles white. "Is he trying to get himself killed?" he hissed. Lisa paled.
"He wouldn't do that, would he?" she asked Caleb. "He's not suicidal." Caleb shook his head.
"No," he replied, running a hand through his still-dripping hair. "He would never do something like this just to kill himself- he's not that gutless."
Ben sighed and stood to refill one of Lisa's cups. "I don't think it's like that," he said, to Caleb, filling the cup. "The odds are against us, so I think he's just being pessimistic. That's why he's sending you away." He handed the water to Lisa and sat down again. "I know it's a dangerous mission, but it seems with both you and me there that we would stand a pretty good chance of getting out of there. But," he added carefully, "he doesn't seem too concerned with the fact that he'll be going in."
"Well, we're never going to be able to talk sense into him," Caleb remarked, dropping his forehead into his hands in defeat. Lisa scowled.
"We still have to do something," she insisted, but even as she said it, she had no idea what that something would be. Ben nodded in agreement.
"I have an idea," he told the two as the bathroom door opened. The three conspirators looked up to see Jackson standing in the doorway, an entertained grin on his face.
"This looks like fun," he remarked, staring at his brother. Lisa dropped her gaze to the linoleum, her anger rising again. Why wouldn't he let any of them help? Why did he insist on being alone? She had thought that they were getting somewhere, that he was opening up to her, but no- he slammed the door shut without warning and was sending her on her way.
She was getting whiplash from Jackson's emotions. He would hold everything in and then have a massive breakdown only to close right up again. How many times now had he "given in" to her, only to start over again? His outburst in the car that first day, him kissing her in the airport, and his breakdown only a few hours prior when she really started to feel like the pieces were starting to fall into place all flashed through her mind. She was so tired of it, but it didn't mean that she was ready to give up.
"Leese?" she glanced up when she heard Jackson say her name as though he had been trying to get her attention for a while. She noticed that Ben had already left. She bit her bottom lip when she realized that Caleb was stitching Jackson's side. How had she never noticed that long cut before? She also noticed bruising on Jackson's face that didn't seem to have been there before, or maybe she just hadn't seen it.
Lisa's eyes narrowed, her anger intensifying. How could he have so little regard for his own safety? She shook her head, realizing that he was still waiting for some kind of response. "What?" she snapped, staring at the injury. Jackson sighed.
"Jeff will be taking you and Caleb to the airport in about fifteen minutes, so get your things together," he replied, sounding oddly defeated. Lisa frowned, pressing her lips together. His emotions were so erratic- something was definitely wrong. "And don't say you're not leaving," Jackson continued as she opened her mouth, anticipating her argument.
"I can help," she insisted, irritated that her words came out in a sulky tone. "Stop pushing me away."
Jackson shook his head. "I don't want you here," he replied coldly. Lisa made eye contact with Caleb, whose eyebrows were raised in bemusement.
"Maybe I don't care what you want," she responded, hoping Caleb would back her up. To her dismay, he broke eye contact and continued to stitch his brother. Coward.
"Leese, you're not staying here," Jackson snapped, clenching his jaw. "End of story."
Lisa rose to her feet and stared Jackson in the eye, seething. "You're pathetic," she said, her voice like ice. She saw Jackson's eyes twitch and smirked, satisfied. She had hit her target. She pushed him aside with her shoulder and made her way out of the bathroom, not giving him a second glance.
She flopped down on the couch next to Ben, crossing one leg over the other. "Something's wrong with him," she said quietly. "He's being really distant."
Ben took a drink of Coke. "As opposed to the open and friendly Jackson?" he replied sarcastically. Lisa sighed. She wanted to tell Ben off, to explain to him that there was another side of Jackson that she had been seeing plenty of in the last few days, but their relationship was none of his business.
She started to feel guilty about what she had said. It had been momentarily gratifying, but unless whatever plan Ben was thinking of worked, it would likely be the last thing that she would ever say to him. "We have to help him," she whispered, refusing to just give up on him. Ben nodded, taking another drink.
"We will," he replied softly, offering her the can. Lisa shook her head, pressing further into the couch. She couldn't get rid of the image of Jackson lying on the floor of her dad's entry way, his eyes glazing over. She had been a little relieved at the time, as well as sad that it had come to that, but now the idea of Jackson on the floor with bullet holes scattered across his body made Lisa's stomach churn again. They had come too far together- she couldn't just let him die.
Caleb glanced up at his brother as he finished his last stitch. "What the hell are you thinking?" he finally asked, walking to the sink to wash his hands. "And don't play innocent with me- you know what I'm talking about."
"And you know damn well what I'm doing," Jackson replied, covering the new stitching with gauze. "You're the one who said you were helping me with Robert and then going home."
Caleb nodded, dropping his towel as he reached for a pair of boxers. "Things change," he responded calmly as he watched his brother tape the gauze through the mirror. "Think about what you're asking me to do." Jackson tossed the tape back into Caleb's bag and looked up, making eye contact with his brother's reflection.
"Live?" he asked gravely. "I've been planning jobs like this for years, Caleb- it's a death trap. What would make you think that I'd bring you with me?"
Caleb turned to face Jackson and pulled on a pair of jeans. He had meant what he had said to Lisa, but he was still going to try to change Jackson's mind. "Maybe not, but it definitely is if you keep Ben on the sidelines and leave me behind. You know we can help."
Jackson shook his head. "Keefe will have more men than us. Do you really think he won't expect some kind of attack? We're going to have to come at him from a hallway- no cover. It doesn't matter how good you are at shooting, unless you've discovered how to become bulletproof and you've been hiding it from me."
Caleb leaned back against the counter top, bracing himself with his hands. "So that's it?" he asked, frowning. "You're just going to run in there and get yourself killed?" Jackson was supposed to be smarter than this.
"Don't look at me like that," Jackson snapped defensively. "I have to go to make up for failing in the first place." He pulled off his jeans, tossing them near Caleb's. "I'm trying to do the right thing," he insisted. "Why can't you see that?" Caleb rolled his neck, trying to relieve his tension. He understood where Jackson was coming from, and knew that it was useless to argue anymore.
As far as Jackson was concerned, Caleb had made his decision years ago when he had left the agency. But as far as Caleb was concerned, his place was now with his brother. He couldn't very well go have a "normal" life now, not when he knew the gritty details of the situation. He recalled his comments the previous evening, about how he wanted them to have each others' backs. He had no intentions of going back on his proposal. He might not be able to convince Jackson, but Jackson did not have the final word. They were going to have to go behind his back, and Caleb had an idea.
"Fine," he conceded, feigning defeat. "If you're determined to get yourself killed, there's nothing I can do about it." Jackson eyed him suspiciously, but Caleb kept his expression neutral. He stepped toward Jackson, and gave him a careful hug. "Just try to get out alive, alright?"
Jackson nodded slowly, still regarding Caleb with suspicion. "Is that it?" he asked incredulously.
Caleb shrugged. "You said you won't change your mind, so why waste my energy trying?" he didn't have to feign the bitterness in his voice- he really was disappointed that it had come to this. "Good luck," he said briskly, pulling on a t-shirt as he exited the bathroom.
Lisa's glanced at Caleb as he entered the room. She looked for any sign that he had gotten through to Jackson, but he was avoiding eye contact. He got on his knees in front of the couch, gathering his guns. She wanted to talk to him about what was happening, but didn't feel comfortable talking in front of Ben and Jeff. She glanced back at the bathroom door, her regret still growing exponentially.
Lisa wordlessly got to her feet and headed for the bathroom, ignoring Caleb as he called for her. She didn't care if it was an invasion- she had to tell him everything, just in case. She opened the door, closing it quietly behind her.
"Jackson?" she asked tentatively, approaching the shower.
There was a long pause before Jackson finally answered. "What?" he asked, sounding justifiably irritated.
"I want to talk," Lisa replied shyly. She wrung her hands, her heart pounding in her throat.
Jackson sighed heavily. "Now?" he snapped. Lisa gritted her teeth and approached the shower, ripping open the curtain.
"Yes, now!" she spat back as Jackson jumped back in surprise with a cry of protest. "When else? Are you going to call me up when I'm in New York? Are we going to get together and have lunch?" Lisa scowled at Jackson. He opened his mouth to reply, but she talked right over him. "There's obviously something going on that you're not telling me, and I don't know why you're suddenly treating me like some kind of stranger, but I hate it."
"Leese-"
"No, shut up!" Lisa continued. "I'm tired of you const-"
"And I'm tired of you barging in where you're not wanted!" Jackson yelled back. "What is so goddamn hard to understand about I don't want you here?" he spat, emphasizing every word.
"But you're lying to me!" Lisa cried, pointing her finger in Jackson's face. "There's something that you're not telling me. You can't shut me out anymore, and you're not going to push me away by acting like a jerk." Her voice continued to rise, and angry tears formed in her eyes. "We've been through too much together, and I'm not a stranger, and..." she trailed off as sobs started to cover her words. "...and you're just going to go off and die, and..." She stomped her foot on the linoleum. "...and I love you, and I don't want to leave you like this, and you can trust me-"
She was abruptly cut off by Jackson as he leaned forward and grabbed her arms, lifting her roughly over the tub's edge and into the shower. He slammed his mouth roughly against hers, his fingers gripping her short hair and yanking her head back.
Lisa was suddenly very aware of her surroundings as the hot water soaked through her clothes and she gripped Jackson's wet shoulders tightly. She forgot herself just as quickly, moaning in arousal as she felt Jackson's hands slip under her soaked shirt and yank it over her head, the stitches in the clothing snapping. He reached back and pulled the curtain shut before turning back to make quick work of Lisa's bra.
Lisa sank into the next kiss, melting into Jackson's arms. She was overwhelmed by his intensity and her knees would probably fail her if Jackson released her from his tight grip. She cried out as Jackson shoved her roughly against the tiled wall, but the noise was smothered by his mouth covering hers again. She bucked her hips at the feeling of Jackson's fingers attacking the button and zipper of her jeans. He crouched down to remove the jeans and her panties, running one hand along her inner thigh as she tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled hard to bring him back up.
She missed his kisses as though they were her oxygen, and leaned forward to kiss him again, gripping his bottom lip with her teeth to pull him along as he pushed her back up against the wall. She gasped sharply when she felt his fingers enter her, a shudder ripping through her body as he pressed his palm against her clit. Every sensation was heightened by their respective anger and her instinctive fear of being in this position with a man. He made her feel powerless, and she couldn't get enough of it.
She felt his hands graze the back of her thighs and grabbed his shoulders, bracing herself. He hesitated, and she looked at him, squinting through the water pouring down her face. He nodded sharply and effortlessly lifted her into the air.
"I'm no good for you," she heard him murmur bitterly into her ear before he entered her. Lisa winced in pain- it had been a while, and Jackson definitely wasn't taking his time. She bit down on her bottom lip as she felt herself adjust to the rhythm, wrapping her legs around his waist.
"I don't care," she gasped back as Jackson thrust deeply into her. She dug her nails into his shoulder blades, her toes curling at the delicious sensations he was causing to rush through her. "You don't get to be alone anymore." Jackson grabbed her arms and held them over her head with one hand, causing a jolt of pain to rush through Lisa's body, enhancing the pleasure. She arched her back, pressing her head against the shower tile. "It's not up to you."
Jackson grunted in response, his pace quickening. Lisa yanked one arm free and grabbed the back of his head, pulling him into another hard kiss. "You're such a pain in my ass," Jackson murmured against her lips, squeezing the soft skin behind her thighs. He shifted his angle slightly, and Lisa could only nod in response, exhaling sharply with every thrust. It was becoming almost too overwhelming- her body was already screaming for release.
She leaned forward, tugging his ear with her teeth. "Come with me," she hissed, feeling herself begin to tense around him. Jackson responded to her words with a feral groan and buried himself in deeper. He began to thrust harder, and Lisa knew she only had a few seconds left. Her grip around his waist tightened and she yanked back hard on his hair as waves of ecstasy ripped through her body, and she could feel Jackson shudder against her as he came inside her with a guttural moan.
"You wouldn't want it to be easy," Lisa murmured, dropping her head onto Jackson's shoulder. Jackson braced himself against the wall above Lisa's head, letting his weight hold the two in place. "Please don't send me away."
"I have to," he replied sadly, his other hand stroking her thigh softly. "I love you, and I can't ruin you like this anymore." Lisa curled her fingers in his hair, the hot water washing away the tears forming in her eyes.
"Please," she whispered one last time, and whimpered softly as she felt Jackson pull out, lowing her to her feet again.
"Try to understand," he said, taking a step back from her. "I have to do this." Lisa nodded. Caleb was right- she wasn't going to change his mind. She pulled back the curtain, glancing at her wet clothes strewn in the tub. Jackson nodded toward dry clothes folded on top of the toilet lid. "Take those," he said, leaning forward one more time to place a soft kiss on Lisa's lips. She did so, and glanced at herself in the mirror. Now I look like a boy, she mused, rubbing her hair with a towel.
She turned back to Jackson, staring defiantly. "I'll go for now," she conceded, "But don't think you can get rid of me." She played with the hem of the t-shirt. "It's too late to protect me now. I'm in this with you." She left the bathroom, praying that she could back up her words with actions.
Lisa found Ben and Caleb sitting on the front steps, smoking. She dropped next to Caleb with a heavy sigh and glanced at him. He gave her a knowing look and offered her the cigarette. "Looks like you need it," he murmured as Lisa hesitantly took the cigarette from his hand. She had tried smoking when she was young like most teenagers do, but never developed the habit. She actually used to find it to be pretty disgusting, but found that she was getting used to the smell.
Lisa gave Caleb a small smile of thanks and took a short drag of the cigarette, letting the smoke burn her lungs. She suppressed a cough and glanced at Ben, who was turned around, staring at her awkwardly. No one seemed to know what to say. "We have a plan, right?" she asked Caleb, who nodded. Lisa sighed in relief and leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder as she took another drag. Ben relaxed again, leaning back on his elbows, his shoulder resting below Lisa's knee.
Lisa pondered her situation with a sense of disbelief. A few weeks ago, she was a people-pleasing hotel manager who was happiest in solitude, and now here she was, cigarette in hand, sitting comfortably with two killers after having had...unorthodox sex with a man who had previously tried to kill her. She had committed identity fraud and helped to kill two assassins. She was being handed the chance to return to some kind of normalcy, but instead was willingly going to participate in the assassination of a government official. She passed the cigarette back to Caleb and sighed deeply. There was no way of going back to her "good" self anymore. The three killers sat in silence, watching the smoke curl in the air that was a pale purple with the light of the rising sun.
So...how was it?