My darling reviewers- I am SO SORRY that I didn't send previews. I just wrote this chapter too quickly and couldn't wait to post it (and I'm already starting 25). I'll try to make it up to you for the big quarter chapter. :)

Now that Lisa and Jackson got their freak on, they will unfortunately be parted for the next few chapters. I'll try to keep the pining to a tolerable level, but don't expect interaction for a while.

trudes193- Oh, they will kick some ass. And Lisa will play her part.

Skitter-Experiment- Glad you liked it. :) This is why reviews are important to me.

EmpireAndAll- I know. :P I loved the "juice mistake"! Don't worry- I have plans for all my characters! :D

KnoKnayme- Why thank you. :) It was my first shower scene, so I'm glad you liked it.

Pirate Gyrl- You're right- he definitely didn't think that one through. And I'm glad you agree- they couldn't have had sweet sex...it kind of HAD to be intense. You're also right about Jackson. I hope I made it clear that he's not just some emo, but he is definitely heading toward a willing end for himself (as far as he knows...we'll have to see what our trio can pull off). Don't worry- I have plans for Cheryl very soon.

michellelau97- Oh my goodness- there's plenty more. I'm surprising myself at how little I get accomplished in each chapter. :P I thought they would be in Miami 2-3 chapters before they did, and I thought it would be 1-2 chapters before Robert died, but that took another FOUR. Glad you like it, and it's always fun to hear from new people!

Words:

Chapter 24: My Lover's Gone

Lisa slumped in the backseat, resting her head against the window as Jeff made his way down the freeway. She was exhausted, but she was hesitant to fall asleep for fear that she would wake up at the airport. Ben had conned his way into the car, asking Jeff to drop him off at his apartment so he could grab his car, insisting that it would be more efficient for the two to be picking up supplies simultaneously.

Caleb hadn't said a word since they had gotten in the car, but he appeared more lost in thought than tired. Lisa could only imagine what was going on inside his head- it probably wasn't that much different than hers. She was worried about him. There were too many times since her arrival in Miami that she had seen shadows in his eyes for her to discount it as her imagination or insignificant. She still yearned to talk to him, but it seemed like they wouldn't have time to themselves in the foreseeable future.

At the same time, who was she to him? He had no reason to open up to her. He was just the guy who had bandaged her wounds, let her stay in his house without question—to her, at least—and Jackson's brother, and she was the girl who played a role in getting him to where he was and someone who was in an undefined relationship with his brother. But, she was reminded as she felt Caleb's hand over hers, they had somehow formed a bond based on something that Lisa could not explain. She glanced down at his hand, wondering if the action was more for her benefit or his.

She turned back to look out the window again. Downtown Miami was beautiful in the early morning. Even though a person could probably say the same about any location, Miami was her city. She tried to imagine the New York skyline it its place and frowned. It was just one more thing that would never be the same. Lisa scowled. Get a grip. She had to stop pissing and moaning about her future. As much as she hated the idea of her life being controlled by everyone else around it, she had to remind herself yet again that there was no point in constantly sulking about it.

She thought back to the flight to Miami, the last time she had convinced herself that she was going to stop obsessing over things she couldn't change, and Jackson's words came back to her: if you can't live with it, then die by it. Of course, that was the same flight during which the two of them made a silent promise to see things through to the end, and Jackson had bailed on that fairly quickly. Or had he? Was this whole suicide mission Jackson's way of deciding that he couldn't 'live with it' anymore?

Lisa closed her eyes. She knew it wasn't as simple as all that. He definitely didn't seem like the type to just lose all hope and end his own life, but it still plagued her. What were the chances that Jackson, probably subconsciously, was sabotaging his own mission? She normally would argue that if it were the case, he wouldn't drag others down with him, but from what Ben had said, he was sending away his best assets. His whole job seemed to revolve around deciding who to sacrifice to get the job done- was it really possible that he was actually planning on getting killed and bringing enough to people to kill Keefe, but people who were expendable? Or was she being paranoid?

Lisa hissed as Jeff drove over a pothole and her head bounced against the glass. No, she was being paranoid. That wasn't Jackson's style. Yes, he was capable of sacrificing people for the whole, but he wouldn't do it if he had another option. Ben had to be right- he was just being pessimistic. Or maybe it was option C- Jackson just wasn't any good at planning when he had a short time frame in which to do so. He didn't have time to thoroughly go over his options, so as soon as he saw a plan that worked, he stuck with it.

"It doesn't make any sense for you to drive all the way to the airport, you know," Ben said from the front seat, pulling Lisa from her thoughts. She focused her attention on him, knowing that this was part of his plan. "Just drop us off and I'll take Lisa to the airport." Wait, what? Lisa's eyes narrowed.

"And Caleb?" Jeff replied, arching an eyebrow skeptically. Yes, what about Caleb? She glanced over at the other man, who had pulled his hand from hers.

"Oh, you know," Ben replied casually, "We haven't seen each other for years, so I thought we'd do some catching up while I figure out what we need." He glanced back at Caleb, who nodded in confirmation. Lisa's jaw dropped. What was happening? Oh...She leaned back against her seat, feeling sheepish. Of course Ben would say he was taking her to the airport- he had no excuse to give Jeff for why he would want to keep her around.

"Uh huh," Jeff replied, still seeming suspicious. He finally shrugged, pulling off the freeway. "And what should I tell him?"

"Tell him whatever you want," Caleb spoke up at the same time as Ben replied "Tell him we eloped."

"I like his better," Jeff said, motioning to Ben. Caleb grinned, leaning forward.

"Then make sure to tell him that Ben will be the one in the dress," he elaborated, resting his hands on either front seat.

Ben rolled his eyes. "He'll never believe that," he insisted. "You're the pretty one."

As they continued their banter, Lisa watched. She was both impressed and shocked by their ability to joke like they didn't have a care. They were so at ease with each other, and Lisa wondered if she was looking at the past. Was this what Caleb had looked like when he was on a job? Where did Jackson fit in their game? She couldn't see him joining in their rapport. She thought back to the employee canteen at the Lux Atlantic. Occasionally, she sat with other managers, but she often sat alone, watching her coworkers chatting and playing card games at other tables. She had the same feeling of isolation now as she had then. She imagined him being more like her.

Caleb finally leaned back as Jeff pulled into the parking garage. Lisa dropped down in her seat, her heart racing. Driving around Miami made her nervous enough, but now they were in a place where people could easily recognize her. She glanced up at Caleb, her head resting on his thigh. He looked out the window and yawned widely, appearing to not even notice how close she was to him.

Lisa felt the car pull to a stop and knew they must be by Ben's convertible. As Ben exited the car, Caleb glanced at Lisa, nodding that the coast was clear. The two grabbed their bags and quickly jumped out of the car, following Ben into his.

Ben turned around to look at Caleb. "I figure we'll drop her off and come back here. We can check into The Pointe later today- it's too early now. Lisa leaned forward as Ben started the ignition.

"What do you mean, drop me off?" she demanded, confused. "I'm staying here."

He made eye contact with her thought the rear-view mirror. "Absolutely not," he replied. "This is serious shit, and you don't belong here, Pollyanna." He reached down to shift gears, but Lisa clamped her hand over his, practically jumping into the front seat.

"I can help," she insisted. "I-"

Ben scoffed. "You can help with what, exactly? Do you have any plans?"

Lisa shook her head quickly. "No, but-"

"And you're obviously not very good with a gun. You shot Jackson twice less than three weeks ago, and he's up and running," Ben continued, cutting her off. Lisa shot a panicked glance at Caleb, but he remained silent, staring at her. Did he agree?

"I killed two federal agents," she shot back. She wasn't useless, no matter how Ben treated her.

"How many shots?" Ben replied smugly. Lisa thought back to her dad's house.

"Three, I think...for one of them," she admitted, her heart sinking even more when Ben laughed. "And the other one hit his head when I pushed him. And I helped Jackson kill two Russians."

Ben narrowed his eyes. "And what did you do?"

Lisa stared at the floor of the car, her hand tightening over his. "I drove," she replied quietly. "But I want to help."

Ben shrugged. "I'm not denying that. It's admirable. But I'm not putting my life in your hands. And I highly doubt Cal really wants to, either." The two glanced at the other man, who just watched, still silent. Lisa stared at him in desperation. Why wasn't he helping her? "You're a liability, devotchka. And why should I risk my life helping you?" he continued. "What's in it for me? I mean, we all know why Jackson was helping you." He gave her a pointed look that provoked a light blush. "But I'm not interested in that, so..." he trailed off, staring at her.

Lisa blinked hard, chewing her bottom lip. She had no idea how to respond. There really wasn't anything in it for him. They hardly knew each other, and she was a liability compared to the rest of them. But this couldn't be it, could it?

"It will piss off Jackson," Caleb responded, finally coming to Lisa's defense. After a short pause, Ben sighed, and turned off the car.

"Good enough for me," he concluded. Lisa narrowed her eyes at Caleb, finally releasing Ben's hand. Was that it? Was that the only reason that she was being allowed to stay? She wanted to ask why making Jackson angry was worth risking his life, but she didn't want to push her luck.

"So I'm a pawn now?" she asked coldly, leaning back in her seat.

Ben nodded. "I asked you first. You couldn't give me a good reason. Pissing off Jackson is a good a reason as any." He got out of the car, leaving Lisa and Caleb alone. Lisa turned to look at him.

"Why haven't you been defending me," she asked bitterly.

Caleb sighed. "Because you need to stand up for yourself," he replied, following Ben out of the vehicle. Lisa crossed her arms. She had been trying, but why couldn't he see that she was an outsider, and his opinion was at least respected by the rest of them? He was so sweet to her in private, but when others were around, he became part of the background where she was concerned.

Lisa finally exited the car slowly. "Do we really have to stay here?" she asked quietly, moving to stand behind Caleb. This was her apartment building- it would be so easy to have her cover blown here. There could be surveillance for all she knew.

"We can't check into the hotel yet," Ben replied, walking toward the elevators. "And you both look like you're about to die, so you should get some sleep before we start our plans." He glanced her. "Relax. Don't do cartwheels or start shouting in the hallways and you'll be fine."

Lisa nodded, moving in close behind Caleb. He reached back and grabbed her hand, guiding to her to walk next to him. "Just act natural," he ordered as they got in the elevator. Lisa squeezed his hand as they approached her floor, the 16th. She had hardly been in her own building since the flight, and what used to be her sanctuary was now terrifying. There was something unsettling about being back in her old life- it seemed so long ago, like she had aged years in the past few days.

"Are you fluent in Russian?" she asked Ben as the elevator ascended, trying to distract herself.

"My parents," he replied. "They're immigrants."

Lisa nodded. "I never would have guessed. You're so...New Yohk," she replied, imitating his accent. Five floors left. "And what's your real name?"

"Alexander Nikolayevich Dubnikov," Caleb responded with an added flourish. "Fancy, isn't it?"

Lisa's eyes widened. "It is quite a name," she replied. "Makes mine sound boring. How do you know it?"

"We were roommates in college," Ben explained before Caleb could reply, "So we've always known each others' names."

Lisa nodded. So they had known each other almost ten years. It explained why they were so casual with each other. "What about Jackson?" she asked Caleb. "I would have thought you and he went to college together."

"We did. We lived with Ben and another guy," he responded as the elevator stopped.

"And you hate each other?" Lisa asked Ben as they exited the elevator. She had begun her line of questioning as a distraction, but now she was genuinely curious. It was oddly exciting to think that she could learn more about Jackson's past without him there to stop her.

Ben laughed. "Oh yeah," he replied, unlocking his door.

"He slept with Jackson's ex," Caleb informed her, leading her into Ben's apartment. He released her hand, dropping his bag on the floor. Lisa gaped at Ben, who tossed his keys onto a nearby table. She remembered Jackson mentioning that he had been cheated on. If Ben was the other guy, that explained a lot about their animosity.

"After they broke up," Ben explained defensively. "He should have gotten over it by now if you ask me." Bros before hos, Lisa thought to herself with a small grin, dropping her bag near Caleb's.

"Well, he took it personally, I guess," Caleb replied lightly with another wide yawn. Lisa felt an odd urge to ask more about this woman. Jackson had called her his first love, which she interpreted as his first and apparently only serious girlfriend. She was curious as to what kind of woman Jackson would have considered settling down with, but she also felt like was none of her business.

Caleb grinned at Lisa. "She was attractive, but pretty dumb," he told her as though he had been reading her mind. Lisa blushed- was she that obvious?

"And kind of a bitch," Ben elaborated, leaning against the table. "I still don't get what he saw in her."

"But you slept with her," Lisa blurted, hopping up to sit on the back of the couch.

"Yeah, because she was hot," Ben replied, "and I was drunk. It was just one night- I never dated her."

Caleb shrugged. "She was fun enough, I guess," he added, furrowing his eyebrows. "I don't know...he didn't talk about her much." He walked over to where Lisa sat, leaning next to her. "Don't worry," he teased. "He likes you more. And you're nothing like her."

"Not true," Ben interjected. "You're hot, too." Lisa dropped backwards onto the couch cushions, blushing furiously.

"You guys are mean," she whined. Caleb turned to lean over the couch, grinning as he hovered over her.

"Poor Leese," he joked good-naturedly. "Trying to fish for information kind of blew up in your face, didn't it?"

Lisa nudged him with one leg, her knees still resting on the couch back. "He said he loved her," she said softly. "Or thought he did. And he told me that he loves me...do you think he means it?" Caleb sobered, and Lisa heard Ben groan.

"Do we need to get you some girlfriends?" he asked, appearing on the other side of her legs. "I'm shit at girl talk."

"I would say that he thinks he does," Caleb replied honestly. "He hasn't talk to me about it very much." Lisa kicked her legs lightly in the air, an embarrassing ripple of excitement in her stomach. She was feeling strangely giddy, despite everything that was going on.

"He talked about me to you...like that?" she asked quietly. This was news to her. She would have assumed Jackson had nothing but negative things to say about her after their flight. Ben also turned his head to look at Caleb, but obviously had no emotional investment in the conversation.

Caleb nodded hesitantly. "He did, but that's between me and him," he replied firmly. He stood up straight and grabbed Lisa's legs, tossing them to the side and causing her to tip over on the couch cushions. "Enough of the inquisition. Aren't you tired?"

"Yes," Lisa conceded. She was exhausted, but she felt like she could finally press the two, especially Caleb, for as much information as she wanted, and she didn't feel ready to give up on the opportunity. On the other hand, she did recognize that the moment was over. They both seemed to be finished discussing Jackson. She rolled to her feet, hoping that she could steer the conversation back his way later.

"How are we doing this?" Ben asked as Lisa stretched carefully. Her shoulder was feeling much better, but her little tumble had caused a dull pain.

"Lisa should probably get the bed," Caleb replied. "She's the injured one, and it wouldn't be very gentlemanly for you to make her sleep on the couch."

Ben stood up straight, nodding. "And I am always a gentleman," he added. An awkward silence fell over the trio as they eyed the couch. The two men looked at each other, both reluctant to offer to take the floor. Lisa debated saying that she would prefer Caleb stayed with her. She had gotten used to constantly being with someone, and she didn't want one of them sleeping on the wood. At the same time, it seemed rude to make Ben sleep on his own couch, but she didn't feel comfortable sharing a bed with him.

"We could all share the bed," she offered diplomatically. It would be a little weird, but it seemed to be the fairest solution. Ben eyed her, his eyebrows raised.

"So that's what you're into?" he teased with a small laugh. "No, it's fine. I'll take the couch if you two want the bed."

"But it's your bed," Lisa insisted with a small frown. "I'd feel bad."

Ben shook his head dismissively. "I'm not sharing with him," he replied, motioning to Caleb. "He's a cuddler." He vaulted over the back of the couch, stretching out across the cushions. "There. End of discussion." He looked at Caleb. "Floor or bed?"

Caleb studied Lisa curiously. He knew about her past, and also what was going on between her and Jackson, and it was obvious that he was debating whether or not it was really okay with her. Lisa smiled at him reassuringly. She knew that she shouldn't be so open to the idea, but she also knew that they weren't in a normal world anymore- she wouldn't normally have sat in the bathroom speaking to a man while he was naked on the other side of a curtain, and then while he was wearing only a towel. She wouldn't normally just lay on a bed in only a bra and jeans with someone she wasn't dating. She didn't feel as uncomfortable as she should have been with the idea- compared to what they had already done, sleeping in the same bed seemed like such a non-issue.

"If it's alright with you..." he finally said, waiting for confirmation. When Lisa nodded, he mimicked her. "Well...let's go." He grabbed their bags and headed for Ben's bedroom. Lisa headed for the linen closet and grabbed a fleece blanket. She walked back over to the couch, where Ben was kicking off his shoes and jeans. Lisa draped the blanket over him as he lay back against one of the throw pillows.

"Night," she said, leaning on the back of the couch. "And I'll show you that I'm not useless."

Ben sighed, folding his hands behind his head. "It's not personal, you know," he replied. "I'm just trying to be realistic." Lisa nodded, propping herself on her elbows.

"I get it," she assured him. "But I guarantee that I know hotels better than you, so I can help with that at least."

Ben nodded. "That's true," he conceded. "And for what it's worth, I did want to warn you about what was happening. I just couldn't."

Lisa rubbed her shoulder absently. "It's worth something, I guess," she replied honestly. "It's not really fair to blame you any more than I blame Jackson for it."

"And how much is that?" he asked curiously. "You seem pretty...happy with him. Well, all things considering."

Lisa rolled her neck and yawned. Her exhaustion was kicking in again. "Less than I should, I suppose," she replied. She found it strange that she had hardly thought about it since she left Florida. Wasn't it mostly Jackson's fault that she was where she was? She frowned. She should be blaming Jackson for what was happening, in reality. Or had she actually moved on from the events? She chewed her bottom lip, guilt creeping back into her thoughts.

"Shit, I'm sorry," Ben said, interrupting her brooding. "I shouldn't have said anything. Forget it. Have a good night." Lisa nodded absently. She stood up again and headed slowly into the bedroom. Caleb was in the bed, and he appeared to already be asleep. Lisa quickly pulled off the jeans and boxers before sliding on her yoga pants.

She crawled under the blankets and looked over at Caleb, who had his face pressed down against the pillow.

"Caleb?" she asked softly, hoping that he wasn't really asleep yet.

"What?" came the muffled response.

"I feel like a bad person," she replied, curling into a ball. Caleb shifted his face so that one eye was uncovered, staring at her. "Shouldn't I be angry at Jackson for everything that's happened?" she asked. "Or am I putting it out of my mind because of this new relationship?"

Caleb groaned and buried his face in the pillow again. "Don't start," he rebuked. Lisa chewed on her lip. He sighed and turned to face her once again. "If you're going to blame Jackson for what happened with you and your dad, then I'm going to blame you for what's happening with Cheryl. Is that fair?"

Lisa furrowed her eyebrows. "How is it my fault? She chose to turn on you."

He shrugged. "She never would have had to if you hadn't screwed up the Keefe job."

Lisa shot him a full-on scowl. "But it's not my fault that I was pulled into that," she insisted.

Caleb nodded. "True, but you chose to sabotage Jackson." He rolled onto his back, turning to face her. "I don't blame you for what happened with Cheryl- my point is that everyone made their own decisions. If you want to blame Jackson for what you did, for what your dad did, and what the feds did, you might as well Marie for assigning him to the mission or blame the flight attendants for letting him off the plane in the first place."

Lisa nodded, embarrassed. She knew that she had already worked out the blame game. She felt stupid for letting it get to her again. "Sorry for bothering you about it," she apologized softly.

Caleb smiled warmly. "No harm, no foul," he reassured her. Lisa scooted closer to him.

"What would I do without you?" she asked, closing her eyes.

"Amputate your arm?" he joked. Lisa scoffed.

"Probably," she replied, opening her eyes again. "My dad's funeral is today," she reminded him.

Caleb nodded. "I know," he replied. "Sorry that you can't go." Lisa nodded, curling up tighter. She yawned widely. He rolled back onto his stomach. "Get some sleep, Leese," he ordered. "We can talk more this afternoon, alright?"

Lisa nodded, closing her eyes again. She snuggled against the pillow, finally surrendering to her exhaustion.

Jackson wrapped a towel tightly around his waist and grabbed Lisa's wet clothes. Idiot. He quickly hung the clothes on the curtain rod so they could dry. As an afterthought, he reached into the pocket of her jeans and removed the folded papers that he had given to her. Hopefully she still had Trudi's number. He tossed the paper with the number into the trash can, and stared at the second paper. He wondered if Lisa had opened it. Probably not. He palmed the note, deciding to keep it for the time being.

Jackass. Jackson slicked back his hair as he walked out of the bathroom. He was such a moron. How could he let himself lose control like that yet again, not even an hour after he had decided once and for all to finish things with Lisa?

"Ben?" he called out, confused. He had expected to find the other man in the living room, but it was just Cheryl. Jackson's eyes narrowed as he approached her. Had they really left her unsupervised? He could see that they had taken the precaution of tying her hands to her foot binds to make it harder to escape, but still. Was he the only one who understood how dangerous she was?

"He went with Jeff," she explained. "Said he wanted to get a jump on getting supplies." Jackson nodded, barely paying attention as he tried to push the memory of Lisa, writhing, nude, and pinned to the shower wall, out of his head. Stupid. He grabbed his bag from next to the couch, searching for clean clothes. He dropped his towel and quickly changed into the set. It didn't even occur to him to feel self-conscious. He and Caleb were pretty much identical in body as well as facially, so in a way, she had seen him naked hundreds of times. Plus, he wasn't about to leave her alone again.

He dropped down onto the couch. So goddamn stupid. He stared at Cheryl, debating what to do next. He needed sleep, but she needed to be watched. Even if she couldn't easy get out of her binds, with enough time, she could make her way to a phone, or out the door. Finally he stood up again, grabbing his knife. He approached Cheryl and cut a few of her ties, freeing her hands. He wordlessly grabbed new ties from a nearby pile and dragged her to the couch. He re-bound her hands, and looped a new tie between her hands and around his own wrist. He pulled tightly, knowing that the plastic ties Jeff had gotten couldn't be loosened, only cut. If she wanted to get free, she would have to either chew through the ties or drag him along with her.

Jackson lay on the couch, closing his eyes. Goddamn fucking moron. The more he tried to put his stupidity out of his mind, the more he remembered every second of that shower. He still insisted to himself that he had made the right choice sending her away, but he just had to go and make it even more difficult for himself to get over her.

He groaned in irritation. He knew that he was just being emotional and ridiculous- it was just sex. But even as he tried to admonish himself, he knew that he was lying. He had had sex hundreds of times in his life. Just like in everything else, Lisa was different. Not because of some inherent quality that made different from so many women, but just because she was Lisa.

Jackson turned awkwardly, dropping his face onto the arm of the couch. He hated himself for being so weak, so downright senseless. He lifted his head, glancing at his phone. He could call her, call Jeff...take it back, tell her to come back to his side. No matter what he had thrown at her, she had been standing her ground, pushing right back. Even as he told her in no uncertain terms that she was leaving, she remained defiant. And now she was gone along with the last of Jackson's sanity. He was disgusted at how lost he felt.

Suck it up. He scowled and dropped onto the arm again. He refused to let himself call it off. He was acting in her best interest. It would hurt, of course. There was no doubt that he loved her, that she made him feel a new sense of completion, but he kept reminding himself that he wasn't good for her. He couldn't be selfish.

"Jackson?" he turned his attention to Cheryl, who was stretched out on the floor, looking irritated. Her arms were suspended in the air by his hand, which barely hung off the couch. "I can't sleep like this." He rolled his eyes.

"And?" he snapped, and then sighed. "Fine." He didn't have the strength to argue. He pulled her to her feet and helped her shimmy over him to lie wedged between him and the cushions. "Just don't say a goddamn word," he mumbled.

Of course Cheryl couldn't keep her mouth shut. "She's better off without you," he heard her say from behind him. She didn't sound mocking- it was almost like she was trying to comfort him. Jackson nodded.

"I know," he replied softly, closing his eyes. And he did- but he wished he didn't feel so empty.

Don't worry- Jackson isn't softening regarding Cheryl. But he's not a complete asshole (and he's tired- give the guy a break).

R&R- chapter 25 will come faster that way, and it should be tons of fun...when Jackson is away, Lisa will play...with his backstory. There will finally be some history uninterrupted by tantrums!

If you're interested, I highly recommend the song that this chapter is named for- My Lover's Gone by Dido. It doesn't really go with the story, but it's a really pretty song. Just a thought.