I promised that Jackson would be featured in this chapter, and I didn't lie- this chapter is only from Jackson's POV. I figured that we needed it. :D Weird thing happened- chapter 26 got more hits than chapter 25. Not sure how that happened. :P The review count is still dropping...I'm not sure if people aren't liking where the story is going or what. But as always, thanks to those who did review, and I hope you enjoyed the little game night story. Check out my responses to Pirate Gyrl and Knoknayme to see exactly what reviews can do for me and this story. :)
Pirate Gyrl- You have to remember that Marie found out that Ben was lying about who he was from day one, and that he has ties to the Russian mafia in Brighton Beach. She really doesn't trust him, and now he's refused to be her bitch and quit. It's not like she can just let him walk away. And we might have to find out what she'll do if Jackson refuses- that's definitely playing into his decision.
Originally Nikita was a guy to me (I've always thought it was a guy's name), but just for you, she's a woman now. :) And I totally picture the trainees in red shirts, too. And you gave me an idea for this chapter when you reminded me of La Femme Nikita- Lisa gets her badass on.
As for his seesaw emotions going out with a bang...you'll see. :D
trudes193- Jackson can't bring himself to be physically violent to her, as he realized in chapter 26.
Knoknayme- I 100% added that scene because of your ch. 25 review- you inspired me to push Caleb and Lisa a little further. And it gave me more for Jackson to think about, so thanks! :)
CharliRenee123- Your reviews light a fire under my ass. You make me think even harder about my characters and help me make sure that they're staying true. Thank you so much! As for your idea of a Jackson/Mama reunion, what do you have in mind, out of curiosity? Should she really be part of the agency or something similar, or just a normal woman living somewhere in Wisconsin? How do you think Jackson would meet up with her again?
WARNING: This chapter gets fairly explicit.
Chapter 27: Straight Up
Jackson finally raised his fist again to knock gently on the room door.
"What?" he heard Caleb snap from inside, and was taken aback by his brother's sharp tone.
"It's me," he replied, chalking up Caleb's anger to nerves. It wasn't exactly easy for any of them. He stepped back, startled, when the door was flung open.
"What do you want?" Caleb demanded, propping his arm on the frame to block the doorway. Jackson sighed. He knew that he deserved Caleb's harsh attitude. It was a long time coming, really. He crossed his arms and took another step back, rocking back on his heels.
"I need to talk to your wife," he replied sharply, staring at the ground. He glanced up at Caleb, who wasn't impressed. Jackson sighed. "Sorry," he said, dropping his gaze again. "Ben explained it, and I do get it." He got it, but he didn't especially like the idea. He knew that it was pragmatically a good idea, but he couldn't pretend that it didn't provoke a sharp pang of jealousy.
Caleb stood his ground, and Jackson wasn't sure what to say next. He couldn't very well shove his brother out of the way, but he needed to talk to Lisa.
"Not now." Caleb shook his head, and started to back away to shut the door in Jackson's face, but his arm was caught by Lisa, who had appeared in the doorway.
"It's fine," she insisted, still holding his arm. "Do we have time?" Caleb turned his head to look at her, nodding. He leaned down and whispered in her ear. Jackson ran his hand through his hair, again uncomfortable by how easily they inhabited each other's space. He turned away from them, sighing heavily. You're being fucking ridiculous- get your shit together. They're friends.
Caleb brushed past Jackson, shooting him a final dark glance as he walked down the hallway. Jackson frowned, taking a step to go after him. He stopped, remembering why he had come to their room. Talking to Caleb would have to wait yet again. On the back burner, as usual.
Jackson shook his head one more time, trying to focus, and turned around. Lisa still stood in the doorway, her arms crossed. She turned to the side, allowing Jackson to walk into the room. He did so, walking toward the table where a set of reloading equipment was spread out along with a pile of bullets. He picked up a bullet, and held it up, studying the hole that had been drilled through the middle.
"So..." he began, his back still to Lisa. He didn't even know where to start. It was all overwhelming to Jackson. He couldn't get the image of that kiss out of his mind, and combined with Ben's words about how Caleb and Lisa would be better together, not to mention his own observations, Jackson's typical self-confidence was quickly crumbling. He had seen how comfortable they were together, and he knew how much they had to trust each other for either of them to go along with the new identity plan.
He was so torn- on one hand, he knew that he had been trying to do the right thing by sending them away from Miami. But at the same time, he knew that he hadn't gone about it the right way, and now things were even more of a mess.
Jackson tensed when Lisa wrapped her hand around his. "Just talk to me," she implored, pulling the bullet from his fingers and setting it on the table. She walked in between Jackson and the table, intertwining her fingers in his.
He scoffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You still don't get it," he replied, frustrated. "I can't 'just talk to you.'" I can't even think straight around you. Lisa frowned, releasing his hand.
"Well, I'm willing to listen," she responded, putting her hands on her hips, "but if you can't talk to me, then you might as well walk away now." She chewed her bottom lip. "But I don't want you to walk away, just so you know."
Jackson turned to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with her, leaning against the table. "I told you it wouldn't be overnight," he reminded her, bracing himself against the table with both hands and staring at his feet. "And how long ago did I say that? Oh yeah- yesterday."
Lisa stomped one foot on the carpet. "I'm not asking you to just become a new person," she snapped. "If I wanted a different person, I would have left- a long time ago." Jackson crossed his arms, still not looking at her.
"Then what do you want?" he asked honestly. He bit his lip to keep from asking about his brother.
Lisa unwrapped her wrist and removed the depressor, setting both on the table. "I want you," she replied, rotating her wrist slowly. "But I want you to just be a little more open with me. And I want you to take me into consideration." She leaned against the table, matching Jackson's posture. "I'm not saying that you have to do what I say, but I feel like I'm just a pretty little empty head to you sometimes."
Jackson squeezed his eyes closed tightly. He never wanted to give her that impression, but he could easily see how she got it. "I don't think you're empty," he insisted. "But..." He wanted to apologize, say that he would try to do better, but the words caught in his throat. He reached over and put an arm around Lisa, pulling her close to him. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "You're not empty at all," he assured her, hoping that it would be enough.
Lisa turned toward Jackson, resting her head on his chest. "Then stop treating me like it," she replied, but there was no accusation in her tone- only a demand delivered in a way that only Lisa could. Jackson squeezed her tightly.
"Why didn't you get on that plane?" he finally asked, sighing when Lisa pulled away.
"Why did you try to put me on it?" she countered, walking over to the glass balcony doors. Jackson frowned, staying in his spot.
"You know why," he replied, frustrated. He knew that he had explained this already. "It's too dangerous for you."
Lisa spun on her heel, looking at him skeptically. "That's not why," she insisted, crossing her arms again. "You said that you're ruining me, and that you're no good for me."
Jackson brought his fist down on the table softly. "And I meant it," he replied.
"And you've said it a million times," Lisa shot back, obviously irritated. "You're no good for me, you're a monster, if I really knew you, I'd run away..." She sighed heavily. "On and on and on."
Jackson crossed his arms defensively. "And I meant it," he repeated firmly. He refused to believe that Lisa didn't understand where he was coming from. She couldn't stand there and pretend that she had never been torn between two ideas- Hell, she couldn't pretend that she hadn't been torn during the entire trip.
"It's not right," she insisted. "You tell me you love me, you have sex with me- and maybe it's not a big deal to you, but you know that it's a big deal to me." Jackson opened his mouth to respond, but closed it just as quickly. He knew that he had to hear her out. "But then you keep saying these things like you want me to leave. This isn't exactly comfortable for me, either, you know."
She wiped a tear from her eye, her voice breaking. "You know that I've preferred to be alone, and I get the feeling that you have, too." Jackson stared hard at the ground, resisting the urge to walk over and hold her close. If he let her stop now, the moment would be over, and he could see that it was important to her to get it all off her chest. "But we've both left our comfort zones, right?" Jackson nodded, shifting his weight to his heels.
Lisa turned away from him again, now crying freely. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep pushing myself to be honest with myself when you keep trying to tell me I'm wrong, and that what I want is wrong?" she asked, her voice rising rapidly. "I need to know that you're going to be there, even if it's hard, because it is."
Jackson gritted his teeth, wanting so badly to defend himself. "And don't ever say that you're ruining me again," she continued softly. She buried her face in her hands and then ran them through her hair. "This is the best I've been in a long time. I'm strong, and I know who I am. I like who I am. And it wasn't because of you, or in spite of you. It's because you supported me while I figured it out." She ran her hands though her hair again. "And I'm trying to be your support, but you need to let me. So figure out what you want, and stop backing down from it."
Jackson buried his face in his hands, sighing deeply. He was not used to someone like Lisa. He had come to the room expecting that he would need to learn how to grovel if he wanted her back, but she was having none of it. She didn't want to hear his apologies or excuses. It was obvious that he wouldn't be able to convince her to leave, and he didn't really want to anymore. It was probably the best idea, but he just didn't care.
Jackson quickly crossed over to Lisa, wrapping his arm around her ribs from behind. He grabbed her chin in his hands and turned her to face him. "I want you," he murmured, his lips pressing against the corner of her mouth as his hand slid to gently grip her throat. There was so much more that he wanted to say, but there were just no words. Maybe it made him selfish, but he wanted her with him.
Lisa leaned her head against his cheek, breathing deeply. "And you're sure?" she asked. "You're not going to go back on it in a few hours?" Her question was serious, but her tone was teasing, and Jackson couldn't help but chuckle.
"I'm sure," he replied firmly, brushing his lips against hers. "Are you?" Lisa turned in his arms and kissed him deeply. She twisted her arms from his grip and brought them up to tangle her fingers in his hair. Jackson slid his hand down to her lower back, pulling her tightly against him. She responded by leaning back and sliding her hands along his tie, pulling it away from his neck. Jackson allowed her to yank off his jacket and toss it to the side.
Jackson desperately wanted to rip off her blazer, but knew that Lisa still needed the outfit. He wondered briefly if she had deliberately chosen an outfit so similar to what she had been wearing when they first met. He quickly skimmed his hand down the front of her jacket, undoing her buttons and roughly throwing the item on the floor. He then attacked the buttons of her top, nipping at Lisa's neck in frustration over how long it was taking. Lisa worked the buttons on his shirt at the same time and pressed against him, the warm skin of their torsos colliding.
Jackson groaned in frustration, holding Lisa's arms tightly to keep her on her feet as he quickly headed for the bed. At the last moment, Lisa grabbed Jackson's shirt collar and spun him around, shoving him down on the bed and pulling off his shoes and socks. He propped himself up on his elbows, watching Lisa climb over him and loosen his belt. "Do you trust me?" she asked softly, yanking off his belt and sliding off his pants and underwear. Jackson nodded slowly, feeling oddly vulnerable. Lisa was almost fully clothed, and he was completely naked except for his open shirt.
Lisa nodded once, and walked away from him. "Don't move," she commanded. Jackson watched her with curiosity, and then raw desire when she slowly slid off her shirt and tossed her bra aside. The light from the setting sun created a soft glow on her skin, and Jackson clenched his hands into fists. He wanted her so badly, but he forced himself to stay on the bed. He bit down hard on his bottom lip as she removed her skirt and panties. Jesus.
Jackson quickly reversed his previous position as he studied her gorgeously feminine body- he had never seen a more beautiful woman. He had seen her naked before, but he had never taken the time to really look at her. His nails dug into his palms- he wanted to caress that delicious skin. It was far from flawless- he could see her scars and faint bruises- but it added to her appeal. She wasn't a china doll.
His heart tightened in his chest when he saw her reach into her bag and pull out a gun. She reached for a magazine, loading the gun with a solid click, lifting her gaze to make eye contact with him. "Are you sure?" she asked, but he saw the dare in her fiery eyes and heard it in her voice. He hesitated for a split second, but then rose to the challenge, nodding again.
Lisa approached Jackson, each step deliberate. She crawled over him, dropping her head to capture his lips in a sensual kiss. Jackson eyed the gun in her hand, and could see that the safety was off. His heart hammered in his throat, but he closed his eyes, returning her kiss. He knew what she was doing- she was testing him. She had to know that he was well aware that something could easily go wrong, and one of them could end up with another bullet in their body.
She was seeing if he could literally trust her with his life. He had done so back in the car when the Russians were chasing them, but that was out of necessity. This was a choice. He understood that he could tell her to stop at any point, and she would listen.
Jackson refused to break eye contact as Lisa slowly brought the gun to his head, breaking their kiss. He had put her through too much in the last few days, and this was his way of showing her that he had made a final decision. Lisa slowly lowered herself onto him with a sharp groan, and Jackson shuddered at the sensation. She felt so mind-blowing.
He leaned forward, burying his face into her neck as he waited for her to adjust. He sucked her neck gently, feeling the rapid beating of her pulse through his lips, knowing that she was just as terrified as he was. Lisa leaned back and stroked Jackson's hip with one hand, coaxing him to bend his knees and give her the chance to wrap her arm back around his thigh. She arched her back, using her arm for support as she began to slowly bounce, letting out small gasps with each fall of her body. Jackson closed his eyes tightly, groaning loudly at the lethal combination of fear-induced adrenaline and pleasure.
Jackson fell on his back, gripping Lisa's hips in support as he looked up at her. Normally he would watch a woman's body as she moved, but this time, he was drawn more to the sheer ecstasy across her face. She had worked past her hesitations and had fully embraced the situation, using Jackson's leg for leverage to push down harder on him.
Lisa released Jackson's leg and leaned forward, gripping his hair for support. Jackson shuddered at the position change, sucking his bottom lip. He knew that he wasn't going to last long, but he wasn't ready for it to be over yet. But he stayed in place, digging his fingers into her flesh. It was taking everything in him not to rip that gun from her hand and flip her onto her back.
Lisa lowered her head, giving Jackson on opportunity to run his mouth along her jaw and ear. He slid his hands up her spine and over her shoulder blades, moving his hands down to her hips as she lifted herself upright again. She reached over and set the gun on the nightstand, gripping Jackson's hair and pulling him up to meet her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, using his shoulders as support to grind down onto him. The sharp gasps and moans coming from her lips were driving him crazy.
The wounds along Jackson's side and on his torso were throbbing, and he couldn't imagine that she felt much differently, but the enhanced pleasure gave him and overwhelming rush. He felt Lisa's muscles tighten around him, and knew that she was coming. He finally let go, gripping her hair and yanking her head back hard as he orgasmed deep inside her with a shuddering moan.
Jackson fell onto his back with an exhausted groan as Lisa dropped down on her hands, breathing heavily. He nudged her hips with his hands, helping her lift herself off him. Jackson reached over and grabbed the gun from the nightstand, putting on the safety. He turned back to Lisa, who was giggling softly. He grinned, sliding his thumb down her bottom lip. She was such a curiosity- a woman who could be painfully sexy, girlish and playful, defiant, and supportive with the flip of a switch. Did she even realize how intoxicating she was?
He curled his hand around her throat, lifting her chin to kiss her softly. He pulled away and rested on his arm, turning to face her. He stared down at the blanket, nervous again. The Caleb issue was still nagging at him, although in a different way than before. He had no worries about Lisa being drawn to his brother- he was sure now that he was the one she wanted. "Are you moving to Minnesota?" he finally blurted.
Lisa's smile faded. She rolled to face him, mirroring his body language. "I don't know yet," she replied softly. "Caleb said we can get a divorce whenever. He just wants to avoid having to deal with the legal aspects of Cheryl disappearing. And I just want to be able to have a full identity." Jackson dropped his gaze, embarrassed all over again when he remembered Ben's accusations- he had been trying to force her into his life. He was also painfully aware that Lisa hadn't really answered the question.
Jackson turned over and got to his feet, quickly throwing his underwear and pants on. Lisa's evasion spoke volumes to him. Even after everything she had said, she had hesitations. He didn't want to push her, though. He had already tried to force her into staying with him, and wouldn't do it again. He turned away from Lisa and began to button up his shirt, but was stopped she hugged him from behind, putting her hands over his.
"Talk," she murmured, squeezing his hands. Jackson pulled from her grip and walked toward the door, running a hand through his hair. He closed his eyes, remembering the panic of an inexperienced woman holding a gun to his head. Any slip from her unsteady hands, and he could have had a bullet in his brain. Why was talking so terrifying?
"I want you with me," he finally explained, turning to face her again. "I don't want you moving in with Caleb." Lisa sighed in frustration, pulling on her bra and panties.
"I told you," she reminded him as she began buttoning her top, "Ask me again when this is over." She yanked her skirt over her legs. "But honestly, I don't think I want to be with you if you're part of the agency." Jackson sighed heavily, dropping into a nearby chair. What did she expect him to do? Just drop everything? His job was a significant part of who he was. Either that, or he was good at his job because of who he was.
He knew that Lisa had changed everything she knew, but this was different, wasn't it? He had spent the last decade completely immersed in an underworld- on paper, he didn't exist. And he was just supposed to be a normal person with a normal job? He had enough money that he didn't really have to work, but he would get so restless without something keeping him busy.
Lisa knelt on the floor in front of him, grabbing his attention. "You really need to talk to Caleb," she told him. "Maybe you'll get it." Jackson barely nodded, leaning his head back against the chair. Did she think Caleb would be able to talk him out of his life? Did she really think that they had never talked about it before?
"Are we done talking, then?" he asked, trying not to show his high tension. Lisa got to her feet and moved to the back of the chair, resting her hands on Jackson's shoulders. She slid her hand up the back of Jackson's neck, running her fingers through his hair. He leaned slightly into her touch, closing his eyes. He was still feeling better than he had been, but now that the sex rush was wearing off, he realized that very few of his problems were settled.
"Everything is fucked up, Leese," he admitted, stifling a yawn. He was beyond exhausted. He hadn't slept well on Jeff's couch, and now the growing issues were overwhelming him even further. He wanted to tell her about the hit on Ben, but knew that she wouldn't really understand what was happening. The only one he could talk to about that was Caleb. He had no idea how to sort things out with Caleb himself- their issues had been going on for too long and the bitterness ran too deep. He rested his elbow on the arm of the chair, dropping his forehead into his palm.
"What are the plans for tonight?" he asked, changing the subject as he tried to massage away his returning headache. His gaze traveled back to the table- he had never seen drilled holes in bullets before.
"We're going to kill Cheryl in my dad's house, and then set it on fire," Lisa replied simply, lightly grazing his scalp with her nails. Jackson raised an eyebrow, his head now still. She sounded so soulless, and he wasn't used to it.
"How do you feel about that?" he asked, and began buttoning his shirt again. He was prevented again by Lisa's hands over his.
"It has to be done," she replied flatly, pulling away. She sat down opposite him, crossing her legs. Jackson walked onto the balcony, motioning for her to follow.
"Doesn't answer the question," he pointed out, lighting a cigarette. Lisa groaned, gripping the railing with both hands and sitting back on her heels.
"I'm horrible," she replied with a deep exhale, dropping her chin onto her chest. Jackson rested his forearms on the railing, waiting for her to continue. He looked down, watching her shake her head. "It was my idea. I don't want anyone else living there- I have no other family in Miami." Jackson took a deep drag, his eyes narrowing. These were shallow answers- there was obviously more that she had on her mind.
"I'm...excited," she finally explained, pulling herself into a standing position again with another heavy sigh. Jackson raised his eyebrows, still watching her. As much as he got on her case for constantly asking questions, on the flip side, the woman could talk without having to be pressed. Jackson was grateful for this- he wasn't any better at asking about feelings than he was at talking about them.
Of course, the answer she gave surprised him. He never expected something like that to come out of Lisa's mouth, and he waited for an elaboration. "It's like...I'm starting this new life, and this is the last thing that's left of my old life. It's horrible." Jackson hesitantly reached over, placing his hand over Lisa's and squeezing gently.
"I'm not close to the rest of my family," she admitted. "I love them, but I don't think I'm as sad as I should be that I'll never see them again. My mom and I haven't really gotten along since I was a teenager, and my brothers have been out of my life for years. It's just been me and my dad, and that house is the last thing that's left of him." She finally turned to look at him. "I just want it to be gone. I don't want anything from my old life anymore."
Jackson hesitated before taking another drag of his cigarette. He had no idea how to respond. He was glad that Lisa was being strong and not obsessing over what she was leaving behind, but there was something about her attitude that was just depressing. He quickly pushed the hesitations away- it was that back and forth, wanting both worlds outlook led to what Caleb was becoming. Lisa was committing, and why should he stop her?
"It's not horrible," he replied, releasing her hand and resting his forearms on the railing. "It's shrewd." He pursed his lips, and relaxed them again. "But make sure it's what you want." Lisa bit her bottom lip, and Jackson sighed. "But you...don't have to keep it from me if you have doubts, alright?" He turned away, grimacing slightly at how awkward he sounded.
Lisa shook her head wildly, groaning. "I almost ruined it already," she admitted. "It was such a stupid mistake. Caleb had to help me."
Jackson nodded, staring out at the ocean again. "I saw," he replied shortly. Lisa grinned, squeezing her way under Jackson's arm to stand between him and the railing.
"It was so awkward," she told him, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning back over the railing playfully. Jackson tilted his head up to keep from exhaling smoke into her face. He wasn't dense- he heard what she wasn't saying.
"It's fine," he replied, and it was. He wasn't jealous anymore, at least not beyond the nagging irritation he would have felt seeing Lisa kissed by anyone. He pulled away from Lisa when she tried to unbutton his shirt again, grinning.
"We're here to work," he joked, spinning away when Lisa again tried to stop him from closing the shirt. He glanced around for an ashtray, but settled for sliding the cigarette across the balcony floor to put it out. Walking back into the room, he slid on his jacket and put his tie back on. Lisa dropped down on the bed, watching him straight his tie and smooth back his unruly hair.
"Are you going to talk to Caleb?" she asked quietly, pulling her knees to her chest. He nodded, checking once in the mirror to make sure that he was presentable. "He's still in med school." Jackson turned around quickly, standing upright again. He stared at Lisa in confusion. "Don't be mad at him," she continued rapidly. "He feels stuck- he thinks that he's totally turned his back on you. So he lied." She bit her lip. "Please don't be mad at him."
Jackson leaned against the table. He didn't understand why Caleb would lie about something like that. Didn't he realize that Jackson was more upset by the thought of him wasting his talents? His brother was extremely good at two things- killing and healing, and after the initial anger of Caleb leaving wore off, Jackson just wanted him to pursue it. So fucked up...
"I'm not," he assured Lisa, pulling on his socks and shoes. He walked toward her, leaning down for a quick kiss. "I'll talk to you later, alright?" He quickly exited the room, heading for the elevator. If he wanted tomorrow night to be successful, he had to get his confidence back. He had to sort things with Caleb, or at least get back on the right track, and he had to figure out what to do with Ben. And at some point, he had to decide which path was the right one- an uncertain future with Lisa, or the comfortable life he had been living?
So...Lisa made her case quite well, n'a-t-elle pas? Maybe we'll get some resolution for the brothers in 28, but maybe Caleb will have none of it. He's not too pleased with Jackson.
Another short side story is already lined up for my ch. 27 reviewers- it will be very Caleb/Jackson-centric. :)
Also, chapters 1-13 have been tweaked, if you're interested in checking them out again.