Sorry it took longer than usual to update. I'm not really happy with this chapter, but I've screwed with it as much as I can- hope it's not too terrible. I'm a little stuck on my side story, but don't worry- I'll be sending it to all my ch. 27 reviewers! For those of you who received the side stories- we're going to see a familiar face (sort of) in this chapter. :D
KnoKnayme- Very much so. :P We need more sexy ladies up in here.
pinky's creature feature- It's totally okay. I was just worried that people weren't liking the story anymore. Let me know when you post the story- I totally want to check it out, but I rarely check the fanfic board.
trudes193- Danke, as usual. :)
ThisIsChiKaOnFFdotNet- ! Are you in the NYC/NJ area? Hope things are okay with you and your neighbors/family/friends if so. Always glad to hear from someone new! :D
Jesscah- At some point, Jackson and Caleb will have to hash it out. They're just really good at stalling. :P
Pirate Gyrl- Work does suck. And I'm honored that you feel honored! lol We'll have to see what Jackson ends up choosing, but he might not be the one making the choice anymore.
MademoiselleGF- Holy wow. I'll respond to your reviews via email as soon as I finish posting this. But don't worry- I have no plans to abandon this story. This chapter was liking pulling teeth for some reason, but I usually update a little faster than this.
A chapter sans Lisa but avec more angst and shit:
Chapter 28: I'm Not Like Everybody Else
"You look tense, Callie- want a back rub?" Caleb raised his head from the comforter, eyeing Ben with amusement.
"We're back to Callie?" he asked dryly, but couldn't suppress a faint smile. "Callie and Jacqueline, right?"
Ben grinned wickedly. "I'm sure he'd love hearing that one again." Caleb shook his head, dropping his face into his arms again. He was too anxious- he wanted to be working on their plan. He enjoyed spending time with his friend, but it wasn't enough of a distraction.
"Move bitch- get out th-" Ben reached over, silencing his phone.
"Thank you," Caleb snapped, sighing deeply. Ben had finally broken up with his girlfriend. He pretended that it was because in light of his situation with Jackson and Marie, he was going to have to disappear in one way or another- not that he told her that story- but Caleb knew that he was just tired of her. She had been calling ad nauseum since then, but Ben had been hesitant to silence the phone, even though it was his personal cell.
"Maybe we should go downstairs and toast bachelorhood," Ben suggested lightly, trying to cheer up Caleb.
Caleb groaned. "I'm still married," he reminded Ben. He was still recovering from the shock of everything Cheryl had done. He was well aware that their marriage had been failing, but he never expected anything like this. He was irritated that he had never received a satisfactory explanation for why she did it, but did that really exist?
"Let's go get one anyway," Ben replied. "You look like you need it." Caleb shook his head again.
"Jackson's coming here when he's done talking to Lisa," he explained. He pulled himself into a sitting position, accepting a glass of whiskey from Ben.
"Are you going to tell him about Marie?" Ben asked, doing a poor job pretending to be merely curious. Caleb nodded, taking a drink. He winced- whiskey was not his drink of choice. "Do you think you could convince him to work against her?" He eyed Ben suspiciously, swirling the whiskey around in his glass.
"Well, what do you think would happen if Jackson refused?" Ben continued, sensing Caleb's skepticism. "You think after what happened with Keefe, she would just say 'oh, ok' if he refused an order?"
Caleb took another drink. "Probably," he replied casually. "She doesn't usually say 'do this or I'll kill you' to her employees. He fucked up, but you lied to her about some important stuff." He narrowed his eyes again. "I thought you didn't want me to talk to him about it, anyway."
Ben held up his hands in defense. "I just said he wouldn't believe it coming from me," he responded. Caleb rolled his eyes.
"If he wouldn't believe it from you, why would he believe it from me, from you?" he asked, exaggerating his curiosity. Ben gave him a look of disbelief.
"You know why," he snapped, and Caleb nodded in concession. He did know why, and it was the same reason that he had told Lisa to keep her mouth shut about it back in their room. When it came down to it, Jackson respected Caleb's judgment. He knew that his brother wouldn't believe everything he heard like Lisa might and that he wasn't blindly in support of Ben.
"Well, what if he decides to do it?" Ben asked. "Whose side are you on?" Caleb finished the drink and set the glass on the nightstand.
"What do you want me to say to him, exactly?" he asked, changing the subject. He was fairly sure that he was on Ben's side, but of course he didn't want to say it out loud or even have to make a decision like that. And what did that mean exactly? If Jackson came for Ben, would he have to go through Caleb first? He didn't even want to think about it.
Ben shrugged, taking Caleb's empty glass. He mimed a pouring motion, silently asking if Caleb wanted another. Caleb nodded. "I was thinking that if Jackson got his team together, we could easily remove Marie."
Caleb broke out into laughter heavy with disbelief. "You want me to convince Jackson to help kill Marie?" he summarized, shaking his head as he took the glass back from Ben. "That's fantastic."
Ben nodded, frowning. "That's exactly what I'm saying," he retorted, filling a glass of his own. "He might listen to you."
Caleb took a drink, his eyes still glittering in dark amusement. "You make me feel so cheap and used," he half-joked. He didn't give Ben enough credit sometimes- the man was clever. "Kind of a dangerous little plan though, isn't it?" he asked. "What if he refuses? What if she had had someone else do it?"
Ben snorted. "Yeah, like who? Jeff? You? Lisa?" He took a drink. "There's no one else around, and it's not like she's going to fly someone to Miami just to kill me. Plus, you know as well as I do that he's not going to kill me."
Caleb tilted his head from side to side, skepticism on his face. "Not necessarily," he argued. "I haven't really talked to him much in years, and I assume you haven't, either. We can't say what he'll do anymore."
The two men turned toward the door, hearing a knock. "Yeah, hold on!" Ben called, and turned to Caleb. "Do you think we should get Lisa more pills?" he asked suggestively, grinning.
Caleb snickered. "Nah," he replied. "It's still effective." He couldn't help but imagine Jackson of all people with a baby, and it amused him to no end. He took another drink. His anger toward his brother had mostly faded, as it always did eventually. He just couldn't hold a grudge against him. "I wouldn't tease him about it, though," he warned lightly.
Ben winked. "He doesn't scare me," he replied cockily, and walked over to the door, throwing it open.
"Bonsoir, Jacqueline," he welcomed, walking back to his chair. Jackson eyed him briefly before entering the room, shaking his head. "We were just talking about you," he continued, motioning to Caleb, who offered the rest of his drink to his brother.
Jackson took the glass, sitting on the bed next to Caleb. "And what did you conclude?" he asked, taking a drink.
"We don't like you," Ben replied, dropping into his chair. Caleb shook his head, looking at his brother.
"We need to talk to you," he explained, ignoring the 'We?' from Ben. He eyed his friend, deciding that Ben's penance for using him was that he had to explain Marie's phone call. "Ben got an interesting order from your director a few days ago," he continued, and looked over at Ben again, "didn't you?"
"I did," Ben replied hesitantly, obviously surprised. "But I think Caleb should explain it."
Jackson looked from one man to the other and rolled his eyes. "What's this about?" he asked impatiently. He definitely wasn't in the mood for games.
Caleb sighed. Fine. "Marie told Ben to kill Lisa," he explained bluntly, unsure of how to sugarcoat it. "She said Lisa's just in the way and she doesn't want her distracting you." Jackson remained silent, his jaw set.
"I told her no," Ben added quickly, "and that's why she's pissed at me."
Caleb eyed him. "Well that, and the fact that you told her that you have mafia ties," he reminded his friend, who shrugged.
"I was just trying to help," he retorted, defensive. "We never should have been working for those guys, and she definitely wouldn't have believed me if-"
"Stop," Jackson snapped, gripping his glass tightly. He ran his free hand through his hair, turning to Ben. "Could you get out?" he asked shortly. Ben opened his mouth to respond, but then shut it quickly, nodding.
"I'll just go check out the spa," he replied lightly, setting his glass on the table. Caleb watched Jackson stand up and start pacing after Ben left.
"Do you really think she'd do that?" Jackson finally asked, finishing his drink.
Caleb crossed his arms. "She did," he replied forcefully. He wasn't going to let Jackson warp the facts just because they came from Ben. "She thinks Lisa will make you leave the agency."
Jackson laughed dryly, heading for the mini-bar. "Oh, she's trying," he snapped, pouring himself another drink. He roughly ran a hand through his hair again, squaring his shoulders. It wasn't difficult for Caleb to see how conflicted he was about it.
"So what are you going to do?" he prodded. "What did you tell Marie?"
Jackson spun around, shooting Caleb a condescending look. "I told her to go fuck herself," he replied sarcastically. "What do you think I said?" He sighed. "At least if she thinks I will, it buys us time." Caleb nodded- that was the answer he had hoped for.
"Time for what?" he asked, trying to get Jackson to explain what he was planning. If he knew what was going on in his brother's head, it would make it easier to follow through with Ben's idea. When he got no response, he decided to insult Jackson again. "Are you actually going to do it?" he asked with forced incredulity.
Jackson rolled his eyes. "Of course not," he snapped, walking toward the balcony. "I don't handle her grudges." Caleb got to his feet and walked over to Jackson, standing next to him.
"Maybe it's time for someone else to be in charge," he offered calmly. Jackson clenched his jaw, but said nothing. "Ben's been telling me things about how she runs the teams, and it sounds like there's too much personal politics." He stared straight ahead. "And don't bother telling me that Ben's just biased- you know that she was against him, Robert, and that whole team. You never should have been allowed near Robert's plan, and you know it."
Jackson took a drink. "So what?" he asked coldly. "Just kill Marie? What the hell kind of plan is that?"
Caleb glanced over at him. "You'd rather let her keep running things this way?" he asked. "What happens to the next person who pisses her off? Are you on good terms with her right now?" Jackson shook his head. "Exactly. Who's to say that you're not next if you tell her no?" he continued, echoing Ben. He had brushed off his friend concerns earlier, but in reality, he had to agree.
"I will be," his brother responded darkly, heading out to the balcony. He lit two cigarettes and handed one to Caleb, who had followed him. "That's why I said I need to buy time."
Caleb nodded, taking a drag of the cigarette. "Then you have two options, don't you?" he asked. "You can try to run and hope you don't get caught..." Which would be moronic, he added silently. "Or you can do something about it." He leaned his forearms on the railing. "Call Jamie and tell her to bring your team to Oklahoma when they're done in Georgia."
Jackson took a deep drag. "The place is a fortress," he replied. "And they'd see us coming." He knew that his brother had never seen the ranch, so he wasn't surprised by the simplistic plan.
"But you know how to get in, don't you?" Caleb pressed. "Does she have actual guards or anything like that?" Jackson shook his head. Marie's security was in her surveillance and the remote location of her home. "Then why does it matter if she knows you're coming?"
Jackson groaned, leaning down to drop his forehead on the railing. "It's just so..." he trailed off, not finishing his sentence. Things just weren't done this way. Problems in the agency weren't handled with goddamn killing sprees and backstabbing. People didn't kill their way to the top- if you couldn't trust your colleagues with your life, there wasn't any point.
"What else can you do?" Caleb asked, but the question was rhetorical. The international branch of the agency was a disaster, and the blame rested mostly on the director- one team was dead except for one, who now had a contract out on him. There were assassination plots, favoritism in how contracts were handed out, and a director who would hold a grudge with a tight fist. Even Caleb seemed to understand that she had to go, and he wasn't even part of the agency anymore.
Jackson took a deep drag, wincing slightly. He knew what had to be done, but he was done talking about it. "How's school going?" he asked pointedly, changing the subject. He stood upright, glancing over at his brother, who was pale. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked sharply, still irritated about it.
"I just thought-"
"You just thought that you should lie to me?" Jackson snapped, interrupting. He knew he should keep his mouth shut, but it the words were falling out of his mouth. "I mean Jesus, Caleb- you walk out on us, and then you make me think that you're just pissing away your life."
"I didn't think you wanted me to," Caleb replied pathetically. Jackson almost felt guilty- almost. He could tell that even Caleb thought his reasons were bullshit- he couldn't even give a halfhearted attempt to defend himself.
"I didn't," he agreed. "But you left, and not finishing what you started would be a complete waste, wouldn't it?" He sighed sharply. "What the fuck were you thinking? You really thought it would be better if I thought that you put me through hell leaving just to do nothing? Just to-"
"I get it," Caleb snapped. "I fucked up- understood, alright?"
Jackson nodded, taking another drag. "It's dropped," he replied, and he meant it. Caleb knew that he was angry- there was no reason to drag it out. "Does Lisa know about Marie?" he asked, changing the subject again.
Caleb nodded. "Just about Marie asking Ben to kill her, not about you and him." He stretched again. "I figured that she wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut if she knew everything, and I wanted to talk to you about it before she had a chance to go on and on about her idea of the right thing and piss you off." Jackson took another drink and glanced at his brother, who was grinning.
"She's not that bad," he replied, but couldn't suppress a faint smile.
"So she's really giving you an ultimatum?" Caleb asked. Jackson's smile faded and he sighed in frustration, nodding.
"Pretty much," he replied. "She says that she thinks she wants nothing to do with me if I stay with the agency, but it's the same thing." Caleb reached over and grabbed the glass, taking a drink.
"Maybe you should," he suggested.
Jackson scoffed, taking another drag. "Yeah, and do what?" he asked bitterly. "Show up on the job market at twenty-seven with no work experience whatsoever for the last...six years? And none in the business world? During a half-assed 'recovery' which will be another recession by next year?" He took back the glass. "And then what? Get married, have kids, get a pool and a dog?" He laughed dryly.
Caleb sighed. "What's wrong with those things?" he asked, and Jackson picked up on a hint of defensiveness in his tone.
"Nothing," he replied. "But it's not me. This works for me- I enjoy it." Mostly.
"I get it," Caleb countered. "But are you saying that you don't have doubts? Even with everything that's happening lately?"
"Sometimes," Jackson admitted. He couldn't deny that he had had moments when he wanted to quit, especially lately. But didn't everyone get disillusioned with their job at some point? He doubts were more extreme than most, but so was his job.
"But even if I wanted to, can you see me going legit?" He tried to imagine his life with a normal 9 to 5, working in an office with the insipid politics and the banal water cooler conversations, but he didn't fit. Especially not when he would have to start at the very bottom, kissing ass and doing mindless work.
But those reasons barely scratched the surface, and he knew it. His opposition to the idea ran much deeper than 'the job market sucks' or 'I'm used to this world.' Wall Street was part of the problem, as far as Jackson was concerned. He had no interest in being part of a system that was helping bankrupt the country by preying on the weak. If he actually were a consultant like his alias, he would have blown out his brains by now.
And those jobs were all so meaningless. Jackson didn't do his job for the killing- he had never particularly enjoyed taking a person's life. He had wanted to be a cop as a child, but he had seen how much red tape and loopholes the police force had to jump through to do their work. The law didn't interest the agency. He could never work for the sake of having money or just to have something to do after seeing the things that he had.
Caleb shook his head. "No," he conceded. "Maybe you should tell her sooner rather than later."
Jackson nodded, finishing off the glass. If he told her before they left to kill Cheryl, maybe she would go to Minnesota and he wouldn't have to worry about her anymore. But he didn't want her going to Minnesota. He wanted her with him. Why couldn't she understand that she was important to him, but he would never be satisfied in that world? He knew he was being childish, but it just wasn't fair.
"I'll go talk to her again," he said, yawning widely. "No reason for her to stick with us if I'm just going to dump her after, right?"
Caleb nodded slowly. "Makes sense," he replied. "Why don't you talk to her tomorrow though? Get some sleep and let us do our plan." Jackson narrowed his eyes, studying his brother as he took a slow drag. It was obvious to him that Caleb was involved in the Cheryl plan for himself rather than to help Lisa, and he really didn't like the idea of putting her in danger if he didn't plan on her sticking around after.
Caleb stared right back at him, defiant. His face softened, and he almost seemed to be silently pleading with Jackson. Jackson sighed heavily, sticking his cigarette in the empty glass. "Alright," he conceded as the cigarette sizzled. "But if anything happens to her..." He trailed off again, shaking his head. Verbal death threats were so amateur.
Caleb stuck his cigarette next to Jackson's. "Yeah, I get it," he replied. He straightened his tie. "You know, the world is always going to be fucked up." Jackson raised an eyebrow, not sure where he was going with this. Of course there would always be problems. "And it's not like without you, we'll never see world peace or whatever. Sometimes you need to live for yourself." He reached over, and squeezed Jackson's shoulder. "Get some sleep."
Jackson frowned, slightly offended. "That's not why I do this," he insisted, turning as Caleb headed for the door. He wasn't that egotistical. He had never looked at himself as some kind of savior- he didn't even think was that good a person.
Caleb raised a hand dismissively, not turning to face him. "I know," he replied. "Just something to keep in mind."
Jackson stared at the glass, feeling guilty yet again. He realized that this was the last time he was going to see his brother before Caleb went off to kill his own wife, and of course they had spent the entire time talking about Jackson and his problems. He started to call him back, but knew that Caleb was finished talking. "Good luck," he called out, unsure of what else to say. "Call me after...if you want."
"Yeah, maybe," Caleb responded, opening the door. "I'll be fine- don't worry." He exited the room without waiting for a response.
Jackson lit another cigarette, turning to look over the balcony again. Guilt nagged at him, but he dismissed it. If Caleb wanted to talk about it, he would have. His mind drifted to Lisa again. He did and didn't want to go to her hotel room and tell her that he wasn't going anywhere, because again, at the very least she would be safer if she left. But he had the odd feeling that Caleb was up to something.
He checked his watch. It was 3:30 in the morning in Tbilisi- Jamie might still be awake. If not, he could just leave her a voicemail. He pulled out his phone, dialing her number.
"What's up?" Jamie greeted him, her voice heavy with sleep. Jackson frowned- he didn't mean to wake her up.
"The plan's still on," he replied, "but I need you to bring the team to DFW right away after- we're going to kill Marie." He grinned faintly at her silence. He knew exactly what effect his bluntness had. "It's a long story- she told Ben to kill Lisa, Ben told her to fuck herself and quit, and she told me to kill him. I'm not going to do that, so..." he trailed off. He didn't have to spell it out for her.
"It's about damn time," she replied sharply. Jackson nodded. He knew that explaining Ben's involvement would strike a nerve with Jamie- the two had been in a relationship before Ben was transferred to Robert's unit. It hadn't ended well, and there were still feelings between the two. He knew that whatever the plan, she was one hundred percent on-board.
"Not that it really matters," Jamie continued, "but why does she want Lisa dead?" Jackson sighed in irritation. He had already told her that Lisa was with them, but he hadn't told her anything about their relationship.
"She thinks Lisa is going to convince me to leave the agency," he explained, hoping that she would put two and two together so he wouldn't have to explain everything.
"Oh," she replied, obviously figuring it out. "So you've finally fallen for someone?" Jackson rolled his eyes, walking toward Ben's minibar. He knew that he wasn't supposed to have the cigarette in the room, but that was Ben's problem. He poured himself another glass of whiskey and walked back to the balcony. He needed to be drunk.
"It seems so," he replied, sitting in a chair. If she were anyone else, he would have rebuked her, reminded her that it wasn't her business, but Jamie had worked with him for six years- they had lived together along with the rest of the team at one point and shared a bed countless nights- he felt comfortable talking to her.
"And Lisa wants you to quit?" Jamie asked, obvious skepticism in her voice.
Jackson took a drag. "Yes," he replied.
"And you won't, right?"
He shook his head. "Wasn't planning on it." He didn't have to go into his reasons- she already knew them.
"So she's going to leave? Or are you going to convince her to stick with you?" she asked, and Jackson heard her light a cigarette. He leaned back in his chair.
"She'll probably leave," he replied. "I don't really want to convince her to do anything. I know, right?" he added, hearing Jamie giggle. "Me deciding not to manipulate someone?" He chuckled. "I can't do that shit with her. You know what I mean?"
Jamie's laughter faded. "Yeah, I get it," she replied. "But that really sucks. Sorry. Are you going to be okay?"
Jackson squeezed his eyes tightly shut. "Don't feel sorry for me," he insisted, taking a drink from his glass. "I knew what I was getting into, and I knew that the chances of her accepting what I do were..." He scoffed. "...non-existent. I let myself get into it anyway. So it's my fault, really."
"Oh, don't even start," Jamie reprimanded sharply. "You can't 'logic' your way out of love. So I will feel sorry for you if I damn well please." Jackson laughed dryly.
"You women and your 'the heart trumps the brain' bullshit," he teased. He grinned when Jamie laughed. He hated to admit it, but he missed this. He used to be good friends with Jamie, Ben, Rick, and Cheryl. The five of them and Caleb had been Marie's team at one point, and they had been very close.
He thought back to those early years and compared it to how different it was now. He and Ben had a deep animosity because of...a lot of reasons, he and Caleb rarely spoke, Cheryl was a backstabbing traitor, Rick was dead, and although Jamie was still on his team, it wasn't the same with her, either. He was her boss now instead of her equal. The bond they used to have just wasn't there anymore. When they weren't on a job, he didn't spend any time with her. They hardly ever discussed anything except business.
"How are the boys?" she asked, snapping him back into the present. Jackson pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. The past was just that- the past. It was over. He and his friends had drifted apart, and getting nostalgic wasn't going to help anything.
"It's like they were never apart," he explained, thinking about how quickly the two men had bonded to each other again. He took another drag. "Caleb and I are probably going to have it out soon and Ben's made it clear that he's ready to kill me if he has to." He quickly gave her a summary of the recent events, explaining the three of them going behind his back and ending with Caleb and Lisa's 'marriage.'
Jamie sighed. "Stop fighting with Ben- you guys worked well before," she reminded him. "Let him do his job and he'll let your do yours. You know he's not going to undermine you when the time comes, so stop over-thinking everything. And Caleb should bawl you out- you have it coming, so just shut up and take it whenever it comes." Jackson nodded. He didn't appreciate feeling as though he were being lectured, but it was what he needed to hear.
"I don't know why you're pretending that you're conflicted," she scolded. "You know you're not going anywhere, so don't bother lying to yourself about even considering it. It doesn't mean that you don't love her enough or anything like that. You're not stupid- you know that you can't completely change yourself for someone and you know damn well that you can't gamble your entire happiness on one person."
Jackson finished his glass, closing his eyes. This was nothing new- she was just reaffirming what he already thought. "But if you just tell her that it's over instead of explaining that you love her, but you can't give up that much, and seeing what she says, you'll probably regret it." She paused. "Not forever or anything like that, but don't you think that you could at least try?"
Jackson shrugged for his own benefit. "Maybe," he replied. "Or maybe I should just take the hint and give up on the whole thing."
Jamie groaned. "I don't like you like this," she informed him. "Pick a direction and just take it."
"Yes, mother," Jackson replied dryly, rolling his eyes at the familiar advice. He finished his whiskey and put out his cigarette in the first glass, which still sat on the balcony floor. "Don't worry- I'll get my shit together. You just concentrate on your job."
"Yes, Sir," she shot back, and Jackson could practically see her sarcastic salute. She and Ben were made for each other- it was almost disgusting.
He pulled himself to his feet with a heavy sigh. "Go back to sleep," he ordered, walking out of Ben's room. "See you in Dallas." He shut his phone, making his way to his room.
Jackson dropped down on his bed. Hopefully sleep would help him get his head straight again, and time would take care of the rest. He had to agree with Jamie- he didn't like himself like this either.
So I tried to imagine Jackson leaning toward abandoning the agency, but the words weren't coming. Then I heard a live version of The Kinks' "I'm Not Like Everybody Else" (the lyrics are a little different), and a verse stood out to me:
"Darling, you know that I love you true
And I'll do anything that you want me to
I'll even confess all my sins like you want me to
But there's one thing that I can't do for you
Because I'm not like everybody else."
That fits Jackson perfectly to me. He loves Lisa, but he can't go against everything in his personality and past that led to him being part of the agency. So...it pretty much solidified his position for the time being.
Chapter 29 is almost half-written already, so it shouldn't be too long before I update again, and chances are fairly good that Cheryl won't live to see 30 (Get it? It's a play on words! :D).
Please R&R despite my lame sense of humor.