New Orders

Spock let out of breath staring wide-eyed at Cora before he forced himself to turn, pulling his gaze away from her and directing it out the window instead. This could not be happening. Not Pon Farr. He had hoped that he would be spared this particular moment in the Vulcan life-cycle given his half-human nature. But it seems that the ancient drives were just too strong and too powerful and deeply rooted in his Vulcan half for that to happen. He was still feeling its affects, despite his 'disadvantage' as the other Vulcans would've called it. On Vulcan, growing up, his half-human side had had only one single advantage he'd been able to see, the possibility that it would allow him to not be affected by the Pon Farr. It was...not something any Vulcan truly wished to experience due to what happened during it.

The Pon Farr was a very...trying moment in a Vulcan's life. And it was a moment that was doomed to be repeated every seven years. It was a time where they lost control of all the emotions they had kept so tightly bound, mainly those regarding their instincts, their aggressions, their passions. It was a moment where the mating drives of his people rose to the surface and took them over slowly but surely, their bodily functions and primitive urges overtaking the power of their mind, building up to the point where, if it was not resolved or released...they died. Throughout the entirety of their lives, Vulcans had the ability through force of will and meditation to control their emotions and remain logical, looking at things in an unattached manner. During Pon Farr was when everything they had striven to hide and to control and worked so hard to restrain boiled to the surface in an uncontrollable swirl of emotion so strong that not even the power of their mind could do could anything against it.

There were but three ways to deal with Pon Farr once it had set in. One option was that of deep meditation, spending many hours of deep focus on their body and concentrating all their power of will towards reining in the rampant flames that engulfed them, manipulating every aspect of their biological urges to resist the effects of Pon Farr. Unfortunately, he was unsure of his ability to utilize such a feat as not many Vulcans could manage such a thing, only a handful had ever succeeded in controlling the Pon Farr in such a way.

The next way was quite the opposite of meditation, of peaceful meditation, in that it often led to...combat to the death. The second method was to release the aggressive emotions through physical interaction, through challenges, through fighting and combat and duels. It was a dangerous method to attempt as, often, Vulcans in Pon Farr, in battle, would find themselves consumed by a bloodlust of sorts. They could not and would not stop until their opponent was dead and the bloodlust was satisfied. The Vulcans of old, before they had adapted the teachings of logical thought, had been so uncontrolled in their emotions that to anger one could lead to such bloodlust rising all too easily. It was...not a method he wished to seek as it reminded him far too much of the 'barbaric' people his species had once been. And...to do such a thing would mean to face a member of his crew in a 'fight to the death' as the humans would say. He did not wish to take another's life because he had lost control of his rational mind. Should he end up fighting a member of the Enterprise...they were all...important to him, to Cora especially and for that reason alone he did not wish for the Pon Farr to lead to that end.

He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against the cool glass of the window, already able to feel how the chill of the glass soothed him slightly. It meant his body was already taking on the fever-like symptoms that also accompanied Pon Farr. Thinking of Cora...it led him to the last way to end the Pon Farr...taking a mate.

That particular method was the only one he refused, absolutely refused, to give into.

On Vulcan, those who had been paired as children would feel the Pon Farr striking them and seek each other out. They would find their mate and...be with them in a physical sense to expel their pent-up passions. While Vulcans did not ONLY mate or enjoy physical unions such as that ever seven years, during the Pon Farr it was almost as though they were FORCED to do so. And...he didn't want that. He didn't want that for Cora.

He couldn't do that to her.

Logically he knew he had to do something soon, the Pon Farr could kill him within a week and he was certain it had begun a day or two ago. He was running out of time. His rational mind told him it was really down to two options, as meditation was hardly ever successful, and now he was cursing himself for not having realized it was happening and done something before it reached this point. But it was too late now, the Pon Farr had set in. He was at quite the impasse of knowing what he should do next, the three options open to him (well, two really), but knowing that he could not and did not want a part in any of them.

To meditate would take more time and concentration than he could afford. Being a part of the Enterprise or on any starship would not be the same as it was on Vulcan or on the New Vulcan colony. Had he been among his people, they would have understood that the Pon Farr had set in, the males especially would understand what could come of it if he did not find a mate. The males of his planet would have expected this in a way as he was one of the few NOT bound to another when he had been younger, at his mother's insistence and also due to his 'disadvantage.' The Vulcan males would have expected him to either meditate (and doubted he would succeed) or fight one of them. They would be prepared for it, any member of the crews would NOT be. Pon Farr was NOT something the Vulcans talked about with anyone outside their species except for the one in charge of the medical sector of the ship, and ONLY them He doubted very much that McCoy had any experience in Pon Farr and, even knowing what it was, might not see the symptoms because of it. The crew would not be expecting him to be angry, to lash out, to attack, they would be unaware.

And he was truly concerned that the Pon Farr might reach such levels that he might one day just lash out at them, that he might attack them for no apparent reason, and then they would be forced to fight to defend themselves. He did not want to be responsible, while he still had logical thought, for the death of one of his...friends.

As much as he didn't want to hurt the crew, he...didn't want to hurt Cora either.

He blinked his eyes opened and looked over his shoulder at Cora, still sleeping peacefully on their bed. Cora, his mate, his chosen mate, not one his parents had paired him with, but the one that he and his own heart had chosen for himself, the one who seemed to love him for him, for both Vulcan and Human. She was the first one to accept him for who he was, for being both. She had suffered so terribly in life, been hurt so deeply, that all he wanted to do, from the moment he'd gotten to know her better, was protect her and make her life better.

He had done extensive research into the history of Hestia after he had taken Cora as his mate, wanting to know everything about them, about how they chose their own 'mate,' he could not find a word to describe what he was to her in her language. The only thing he could truly gleam from the archaic history of her home had been obscure references to the methods of their 'mating' rituals, the true methods having been lost throughout the centuries, through the breeding programs imposed by the Mas'heirs. All he knew from his research, the meager information that he had been able to find, was that physical touch, while it had always been important to the Empathics, was even more essential and sacred when it was in the culmination of a bonding ritual or of a breeding program, whenever they joined themselves with their chosen partner for the rest of their lives. That moment, that physical union, was the most sacred aspect of her planet's history, aside from childbirth.

And yet it was something that was so unspoken of among his people that they did not talk of the Pon Farr even among themselves. They merely spoke of it as a warning to their children, to know what to expect, but never went into personal detail about it. His people did not often touch and so, the idea of being driven to touch, of having such an experience under Pon Farr, under something that took the choice and their own desire for their mate away from them...was not welcome. Often times the Pon Farr was the first moment two Vulcans were together in such a physical sense, it drove them both to mate, but that was between two Vulcans.

Cora was an Empathic. And the Pon Farr? That was NOT how he wanted his first time with Cora to be, he didn't want THAT to be the driving force towards such a union. Cora had been so patient with him, so understanding, so compassionate and always tried to respect his beliefs and customs and traditions, understanding and refraining from the touch that her people craved and thrived on because it was not something he was entirely comfortable with. She had been the one that was the most patient in their relationship, the one who tried her best to make HIM feel comfortable and to please him and make the touches they did have special that...

He could do this for her.

He didn't want something that as so sacred and important and meaningful to her to be...forced to happen, because of him. He looked at her, just lying there, sleeping, noticing how comfortable she was around him, how much she trusted him, how much she had opened herself and grown because of him, how much she...loved him. It was not every day an Empathic didn't touch someone and she held back more times than he could count, in a single day, for him. He wouldn't cheapen something meaningful to her because he merely 'had an itch' as the humans would say. It wasn't right. It wasn't proper. And it wasn't fair to her.

He was sure it was probably his human half speaking to his rational mind...while it still could...but he just could not bring himself to do that to Cora. He couldn't bring himself to force this upon her simply because of something wrong with his Vulcan half. He didn't want her to think, even for a moment, that he had united with her in such a significant way because he was being pushed to do so, he wanted her to know that, when it happened, it was just...him.

He swallowed hard, forcing himself to look away and return to the window, he hadn't even realized he'd started to walk towards her till he'd ended up at the foot of the bed just now. Logically...there was only one real option left to try, the one he had discounted all along. He refused to use Cora like that, he refused to fight or kill one of the crew so...that left only the deep meditation as a method to conquer the Pon Farr. Though...he honestly wasn't sure if it would even work. He had...never meditated that deeply, as deeply as it was said was needed for the Pon Farr to be abated. He wasn't sure how long it would take or what he should focus on or if it would even seem to be working for an iota of a moment but...he needed to try. He needed to do something to push the Pon Farr off, to shake it from him. He needed to do it and he needed to do so quickly.

He step back from the window, kneeling on the floor, his hands clasped before him as he closed his eyes, trying to meditate as deeply as he could in the time he had before Cora would wake. It was dark and quiet and peaceful and he hoped it would be just what he needed to meditate enough to do what he wished to do. Or at least to hold off the effects till he could get somewhere alone and truly focus. He almost found himself grateful that he might be a reassigned to the Bradbury. If he was away from Cora, then he wouldn't be able to let the Pon Farr drive him to things with her. And being away from the Enterprise meant he wouldn't harm the crew either.

He took a breath, focusing on his emotions, on the feelings, the aggression and the passion and the...natural drives...within him, focusing on controlling them, on tying them down...trying his best not to let them control him...

Not even noticing Cora shift on the bed, feeling what he was feeling as she slept...

~8~

Spock and Cora stood outside of Starfleet Head Quarters in London, Spock on the comm. with Kirk, "Commander, Mr. Scott has found something in wreckage of Harrison's ship, he's asked to see us right away," he reported to Kirk, the two of them having been waiting there with Scotty, Cora doing her best to keep the man calm as he seemed rather agitated about something yet refused to say what it was till Kirk was there.

Spock took a deep breath, trying his best to get a handle on his emotions. The meditation...hadn't worked at all, in fact it was almost as though it had made everything worse. It turned out his human mind made him less able to focus and concentrate the way a Vulcan did during meditation. His mind would start to wander to feeling the emotions and the things that inspired them than towards really trying to actively restrain them. He'd come out of it to the sound of Cora starting to stir to find himself...in deeper trouble than before. Having spent the entire night doing little else but actively thinking of the Pon Farr and the feelings it stirred within him...he was finding it harder and harder to keep his promise to himself that he wouldn't let the Pon Farr dictate his relationship with Cora. He had found himself staring at her longer, hearing less of what others said around him when she was there, and...he found himself even more possessive of her.

Scotty had hugged her when he saw them...he'd wanted to rip the man's arm off.

Which was a rather startling and unexpected thought to strike him, it was highly illogical and irrational too but...he knew it was the Pon Farr. It was pushing him towards her, towards a woman he had never been able to or wanted to resist in the past. And now, to try and implement a measure of control that had never existed in the first place...it was becoming increasingly difficult to control himself around her and around others who were around her.

"Captain," Scotty called, spotting the man as he walked over to join them, Cora's red hair visible from a mile away and leading him right to them, "I found this in the crashed jump ship, sir," he held up a small box of some sort, "This is how the bastard got away."

The attack on the headquarters, the attack that had taken Pike's life was devised and implemented by none other than John Harrison, the man they'd been told to capture and not let escape. They didn't know why he had attacked, all Cora had managed to gleam off the man was that he was angry, truly and powerfully angry about something involving Starfleet. Kirk had managed to stop the man, had managed to take down the ship he'd been flying and attacking in, but the man had transported out before he could be caught, the ship falling to the ground, leaving them to tend to the wounded.

"What do you mean?" Kirk asked, his voice hard as he thought back to that night, just a few hours ago, to the death of Pike, to how Harrison had stared him down as he transported away.

"It's a portable transwarp beaming device," Scotty explained.

"A…transport device?" Cora frowned, not entirely sure she'd gotten all that scientific-sounding talk, technology was NOT her strong suit at all.

"Aye Lassie," Scotty nodded, he had seemed to have come to a determination that, as long as she insisted on calling him 'Montgomery Scott' instead of Scotty, that he would call her 'lassie' instead of Cora…it had been going on since he'd been officially assigned to the Enterprise.

"Can you figure out where he went?" Kirk asked.

"I already did, sir, and you are not going to like it. He's gone to the one place we…we just can't go."

"And where is that?" Kirk demanded.

"Kronos," Scotty sighed, handing them a small device he'd used to track the transport.

Kirk's eyes widened as he turned and ran off, Spock and Cora rushing after him, following him into the building behind them and up to the top floor where the commanders and captains of Starfleet, the ones who survived, were meeting, "Admiral sir," he called, rushing to Marcus, "He's not on Earth. He on Kronos, sir. I request my command to be reinstated and your permission to go after him."

Marcus glanced back at the various men, "Give us a minute," he ordered, the men slowly filing out of the room as he turned back to Kirk, "Kronos?"

"Yes, sir."

"He is telling the truth sir," Cora added.

"I can see that," Marcus waved her off, Spock's eyes narrowing at that as he stepped closer to Cora, seeing her look down, "So Harrison's gone to the Klingon homeworld? Is he defecting?"

"We're not sure, sir," Kirk replied.

"He has taking refuge in the Keth province," Spock added, "A region uninhabited..."

"He's got to be hiding there, sir," Kirk cut in, "He knows if we even go near Klingon space, it will be all out war. Starfleet can't go after him, but I can. Please, sir."

"All out war with the Klingons is inevitable, Mr. Kirk," Marcus remarked, which made Cora frown, sensing something…unsettling about him, "If you ask me, it's already has begun. Since we first learned of their existence, the Klingon Empire has conquered and occupied two planets that we know of, fired on our ships half a dozen times. They are coming our way…"

"What are you not telling us Admiral?" Cora murmured.

Marcus stiffened, as though realizing for the first time there WAS an Empathic there and that his words alone might be giving off more than he wished her to pick up. He swallowed, looking at them, "London was not an archive," he offered instead, "It was top secret branch of Starfleet designated to Section 31. They were developing defense technologies, training our officers to gather intelligence on Klingons, and any other potential enemy who means to do us harm. Harrison was one of our top agents."

Cora eyed him intently, there was something…wrong about that, how he was speaking, what he was saying. It was like…he was trying too hard to cover something up, like he was picking his words too carefully so she would sense enough truth behind them not to question him. Sadly being around Spock had made her curious and…she didn't trust the man. He was hiding something.

She glanced at Spock to see he was…stiff, very rigid and tense. He seemed like he was actively trying not to move or even breathe and it was starting to worry her. He wasn't speaking or reacting like she knew he would. He'd be contradicting Marcus and trying to reason with Kirk and yet he was silent.

"Now he's a fugitive and I want to take him out," Kirk said, alarming Cora even more to hear the…vengeance in his voice.

"Pike always said you were one of our best and brightest," Marcus smiled at him, which made Cora frown, the words were too…praising, not that James T. Kirk was undeserving of praise but the way he was saying it, the emotion behind it, it made her feel like he was 'buttering him up' as the humans would say, "You should have heard him defend you. He's the one who talked you to joining Starfleet, wasn't he?"

"Yes, sir."

"Did he ever tell you who talked him into joining? His death is on me. And yours can't be."

"Sir, please, all I..."

"Mr. Spock," Marcus glanced at him, Spock's head jerking up from where it had drifted to look at Cora, "You said that the province where Harrison is hiding was uninhabited?"

"Affirmative, sir."

Cora's head snapped over to him, hearing a…tremor, a strain, in his voice as he spoke for the first time in a while. She…almost couldn't feel what he was feeling, he was actively trying to bury the emotions, dim them, hide them from her, which really was starting to worry her quite a bit, he'd never really done that to her before. The entire basis of their relationship was centered on the fact that she could feel his emotions, she understood him without him needing to express them...and now he was trying to put a halt to that in a way?

"As part of our defensive strategy, 31 developed a new photon torpedo. Long range, untraceable. It will be invisible to Klingon sensors. I don't want you hurt," he turned to Kirk, "But I want to take him out. You park on the edge of the Neutral Zone, you lock on to Harrisons position, you fire, you kill him and hall ass."

Kirk nodded, "Permission to reinstate Mr. Spock as my First Officer."

"Granted."

Kirk nodded and turned to head out of the office, Cora glancing between him and Marcus before following, Spock seeming to be following her instead of Kirk.

They had just stepped into the hall to see Kirk was already in the lift at the end of it, the doors closing just as they reached it, so they took the second lift. Cora was silent a moment, hesitating to ask a question that was bothering her as she saw Spock seem to grow more stiff and tense when the doors shut, leaving just them there.

"Are you alright Spock?" she asked him, glancing at him, watching his face for any of his typical tell-tale signs of emotion, the small ones that only she seemed able to see because she knew what to look for.

But there was nothing.

"I am fine," he stated, his eyes closing as he waited for the lift to reach the ground floor.

"Are you certain?" she frowned, feeling him starting to close his emotions off even more, "You are…quiet. You did not speak as much as you would have."

And it was true, he would have been arguing more with Marcus and Kirk about their plan, he wouldn't have cared if it was a superior officer in the admiral, he would have cited the rules and the code and all manner of other things to remind both men that what they had ordered Kirk do to Harrison was against the Fleet's commandments.

But he'd been silent. If she hadn't known any better, she would have thought he was agreeing with the men, but she could feel his distaste with what was being said, so why didn't he speak up? It was unlike him to be so quiet when rules were about to be broken before him.

"I am merely attempting partial meditation," he remarked.

"I thought meditation was done in a calm, serene environment, with peace and quiet?" she asked, recalling a few times he would meditate in his office as she worked on a paper. She hadn't ever seen him trying to meditate while focusing on something else entirely.

"I am trying to focus my mind," he supplied instead.

"On what?" she shook her head, confused.

But before he could answer the doors opened and they stepped out to see Kirk and Scotty waiting for them.

Spock watched as Cora stepped away from him to head to Kirk and felt a breath seep out of him at the distance now between them. It had been...hard to control himself in the lift just then, with it just the two of them, with her so close and looking at him with those eyes so full of concern and focused on HIM. He had to force himself NOT to look at her, had found himself distracted by her in Marcus's office, he hadn't been able to keep his whole attention on the conversation at hand, getting snippets of it as he felt his gaze and attention drift to Cora. Which was not something that was befitting of a Vulcan to do, to lose their focus and to become so distracted.

But he hadn't been able to help it. The glow of the sunlight through the windows had reminded him of their sessions at the Academy, how her hair seemed to glow in a halo of fire when the light struck it. She was beautiful. And she was distracting him without even realizing it and he was failing to control himself in not letting her distract him.

He knew what this was and he knew the consequences of it, the Pon Farr was…dangerous to his species. He had hoped to avoid it, that in being half human he would be spared from experiencing this. It seemed…he had underestimated the strength of his Vulcan half. So far it was not…quite so bad as he had heard tales of it being. He was sincerely hoping that his human half might help stem some of the…aggression and emotion from him, help him rein in his Vulcan half.

It was a complete reversal of how he normally felt. Usually his Vulcan half was the side of him that allowed him control, allowed him to focus and restrain his human emotions. Now it was the opposite, he was hoping his human half might be able to temper his Vulcan half. He hoped it would because...for a full Vulcan to experience the Pon Farr...it meant that he would either need to take his mate or let out his aggressions in a duel to the death...or die.

"Mister Spock!" Kirk called, pulling Spock's attention over before he headed out of the lift to join the crew.

~8~

Cora followed the men into one of Starfleet's hangers, ready to be taken up to the Enterprise in a shuttle, glancing over when she saw McCoy, well, felt him first, heading towards them, worried, "Jim? Where were you?"

"For what?" Kirk glanced back at him.

"Your medical exam. 10 hours ago you were at damn fire-fight. Now, it's my duty to..."

"I'm fine, Bones."

"The hell you are," McCoy scoffed.

"I'm fine," Kirk insisted.

McCoy rolled his eyes and looked at her, "Red?"

"He's ly…" she began.

When Kirk turned to her and pointed at her, "Don't answer that."

She bit her lip as Kirk headed into the shuttle, Spock already onboard, the first one in the shuttle actually. He'd sort of...briskly walked ahead of them. She was worried, he seemed…agitated, angry even but she didn't know why. He was trying hard, harder than she'd ever felt him try before, to control his emotions, to…bury them once more.

It was like he was attempting to become Vulcan all over again, like all he'd come to terms with in the past, with his human side, was being forgotten. She…couldn't get a specific reading from him. Vulcans were normally one of the easiest people for her to be around. Their emotions being so controlled, it made it easier for her to focus. She had gotten used to being on the Enterprise, to be held in a ship with so many other people, feeling their emotions, she'd been able to separate herself from them, with Spock there to balance her.

She had always been able to read him in that sense, he didn't…hold back. He may not give an outward expression of his emotions but he DID feel, and…he let her feel what he did. It was how their relationship worked, why it worked, what she felt he didn't have to show her outwardly, he just…let her feel it herself, to know how he felt without needing to express it. But now…it was like…

She swallowed hard, like he didn't want her to feel his emotions any longer. And that...scared her. What if…the Vulcan part of him was starting to see her as an…inferior mate? What if he was…regretting it? She knew enough of Vulcan matings to know that, while she was not of his species and couldn't claim any of the ways out of a mating, HE could still decide if she was unworthy and cast her off. They…hadn't reached the final step of a true Vulcan mating, the um…physical culmination of it. There was still time for him to find a more suitable mate if he chose.

She was truly growing scared that he might find her lacking or wanting and was considering someone else besides her. She knew he'd formed the beginning of the necessary bonds because she'd been in pain, Vulcan had been destroyed, his mother had died, SHE was suffering, and…she was starting to fear he'd just been overwhelmed, that he'd done it out of a rash decision, an emotional one, and now that his rational mind was catching up to him he was starting to see that as a mistake as Vulcans often did when an emotional reaction was elicited from them.

All she could do though...was pray she was wrong.

A/N: Poor Spock and Cora :( Things'll be getting interesting though, with Khan and the Pon Farr. Let's just say...Spock might keep having a hard time staying away from Cora and not letting her distract him ;)

And wow! I can't believe the story is half over already! Lol, also means 1 week till I post a Loki/OC

Some notes on reviews...

I can't say if Kirk will die or what from just yet, we'll have to wait and see ;)

They were nearly separated yup, but gotta love Kirk keeping them all together :)

Nope, no M-rated scenes from me ever, sorry :) I don't do lemons/limes/sex scenes. The most I ever came close to what might have been an M scene was in my Academic Series where 'Reavers' from Firefly were involved for a paragraph or two (mostly an attack being stopped, not other things they do). I sort of feel like I can't do that to the characters, exploit them like that. I'm probably weird, but even though they're fictional, I respect them too much to take something meant to be private and intimate and meaningful and make it nothing like that :( So nope, we'll be getting some lead up to things that could be M level though :)

Lol, thanks! I went back and fixed it :)

Spock will fight a little bit, and it'll just tear him in two directions, but a lot of things will nudge him one way or the other ;) I'm glad you're excited for the future stories :) I can't wait to get to them too :) We might see a bit of Cora, I'm thinking of doing a crossover themed one shot of Cora and my Kirk OC (Victoria) meeting and a small adventure ;)