Fade With Me

Chapter 6

I threw myself to my knees the very moment we reached the entrance of Macalania Woods. "Oh, thank everything that is good in this world! We're finally out of that place!"

Braska chuckled good-naturedly at my dramatics and Jecht started to guffaw obnoxiously. Seriously, Tidus' dad thinks everything I do is hilarious now. I'm honestly not even trying to be funny this time…

I got up quickly and readjusted the nice, warm, fuzzy scarf that Rin had just given me. "I mean, uh, yay!" I waved my hands in the air in excitement. "Macalania!" My enthusiasm probably sounded forced, but it truly wasn't. I really just needed a change of scenery, even if that new place was about as cold as Mt. Gagazet during a blizzard. I shuddered at the harsh memory of traveling through that awful snowstorm with Tidus and Yunie at my side.

"I thought you ain't scared o' thunder anymore!" Jecht countered, raising his eyebrows in a sort of challenge.

I cleared my throat awkwardly. The pilgrimage had been…somewhat silent ever since we left Rin's Travel Agency. That silence made everything else much louder. And by everything else, I meant the thunder and lightning. So naturally, I regressed to the flinchy little baby I was before Auron got hurt.

Auron…

I snuck a peek at him out of the corner of my eye. He was a few feet ahead of us, scoping out the wooded area to be sure that our surroundings were safe for us to continue through. I sighed. He always thought of everybody else before himself. Sure, he can be a big, fat meanie at times, but he makes up for it. For me, his redemption right now was saving my life…amongst other things.

I sighed again. The whole way here, he didn't look at me once. I couldn't explain to myself why it hurt so bad, but it did. I guessed that was another thing I was regressing to: starving for Auron's approval like I had when I first started Yunie's pilgrimage. Why did I care so much about what he thought about me?

Oh, yeah. Because I was practically in lo-

"Spira to Rikku!" Jecht leaned in front of me and started waving his hand in front of my face. "Hell-ooo!" I blinked rapidly and lightly shoved him away from me. Can't a girl stop to think for a minute without getting interrupted?

"I wasn't scared, Jecht!" I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm just excited to be here." I ran ahead of them and spun around a few times, taking in the beautiful sight of the crystals, trees, ice and Auron. Wait! Auron!? What on Spira am I thinking!? I stopped spinning abruptly and clutched my hand to my forehead forcefully, clamping my eyes shut. Bad Rikku! BAD! Nothing but BAD things will happen if I keep thinking that way!!

Footsteps made their way to me, and after a moment, I felt a firm hand come down on my shoulder. "Be careful. We wouldn't want you to make yourself disoriented. You are a valuable part of this pilgrimage," a deep voice murmured, reverberating through to the very core of my body. It sent tingles from my fingers all the way down to my toes. My thoughts may have screamed one thing at me, but that didn't stop the way I felt or the way my body reacted to him.

The heart is stronger than the mind in more than one way.

"Yeah, sure," I muttered in reply, obviously embarrassed by his contact with my shoulder. He was probably just being nice to me because he was still grateful for the first aid that I performed on the battlefield. But still, I would have never had to do anything like that if he hadn't pushed me out of the way in the first place, the stupid meanie.

He noticed my lingering gaze on his hand and removed it instantly, walking away from me. When he took his hand away, it was like a soothing heat had been taken away, leaving me shivering in the cold.

Stupid Auron…

"It truly is beautiful here, is it not?" Braska commented. He looked at Jecht expectantly, waiting for him to reply. Jecht just scratched the back of his head and shrugged.

"I'm just waitin' till we see Zanarkand," he added. "Ruins o' not, that place will always be the best!" He crossed his arms and smirked triumphantly. I'm not so sure he will agree with that after seeing the Ruins. Tidus was really sad after seeing what happened to the place. I don't doubt he'll be the same way.

"Unc-….I mean, uh, Braska?" I recovered at the last second. That was a close one. I had almost said Uncle Braska.

Oopsies.

He smiled at me in that tenderhearted way that he had. "Yes, Rikku?" My uncle had a way of making anybody want to confess their deepest, darkest secrets, yet make you feel better about them at the same time. And that was only with a smile. I could only imagine what would happen if…No! I can't tell them. So, I'll just say the other thing that was on my mind.

"Since we had to rush through the rest of the Plains without stopping-" I began, but someone else cut me off.

"I believe we should find a place to rest as well," Auron finished, sending his powerful gaze in my direction. He had a trace of a smile.

How'd he know I was about to say that?

"Rin would be upset to hear that we went the entire day without a break." He looked down at his chest for emphasis. He still had his wounds bandaged to help them heal, but he chose to wear his chest plate over it, "In case of an emergency." He didn't fool me, though. I knew he wasn't planning on acting any different than he had before he was injured. Auron was just like that, I guessed. Nothing could slow him down when he puts his mind to something.

Not a fiend. Not a friend. Nothing. What a stubborn guy…

Braska nodded kindly. "Certainly. I am quite tired myself." He looked around briefly. "Do you know where we can rest for the ni-"

"Ooh, I do!" I interrupted, waving my arm high in the air like I was a little kid begging to get chosen to play a game with all the other little kids. Jecht rolled his eyes at my childish behavior and Auron just gave me a somewhat interested look. "I've been here before with fr-…family, you know. Last time I was here, we set up camp, um…" I turned around and looked down the familiar pathway that was sure to lead to the secret area we had set camp in after fighting Seymour. That guy sure didn't die easily! How many times did we end up having to fight him?…Ugh, Rikku, now's not the time to reminisce.

"Just follow me! I'll show you guys where it is!" I motioned for them to follow me and ran ahead of them, leading the way.

---X---X---X---X---X---

Jecht looked around at my successful finding, nodding his head in appreciation. "Gotta hand it to ya, kid. This place ain't bad."

"Yeppers!" I patted my hand over my chest in over-exaggeration. "Now you have to say it, Jecht!" He shook his head forcefully, but then I crossed my arms and shouted, "You promised!"

He sighed heavily and rubbed his hands over his eyes. After stalling for a few moments, he looked at me and grumbled, "You're awesome, kid."

Braska chuckled from where he was setting up his sleeping bag. "You two are worse than an old married couple," he joked.

Jecht laughed that scratchy laugh of his. "Yeah." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his chest. Owie! "Now let's kiss and make up."

My eyes widened. I immediately shoved him away from me as he pretended to lean in for a kiss. The sudden force of my push caused him to stumble backwards and lose his balance, landing on his butt. "What the hell!?" He rubbed the back of his head and looked up at me with a bewildered look on his face.

I knew he wasn't being serious at all, but when he leaned in like that, something inside me snapped and I panicked. It wasn't like I'd never been kissed before or anything. I just didn't find Jecht funny that time. Maybe it was the fact that out of the corner of my eye, I saw Auron clenching his jaw tightly as he set up his sleeping area. But who knew? I definitely didn't.

Forcing a fake laugh, I retorted, "That'll teach you to remember who wears the pants in this relationship!" I crossed my arms and stuck my chin up in the air as I walked past him to help Braska with the fire.

I kneeled down next to my uncle and started messing with the arrangement of the wood. In a deep voice, Braska glanced at me and murmured, "I apologize, Rikku. I was only joking."

I looked at him, clearly astonished that he could read me so well. "W-What do you mean? I know you were just kidding." I busied myself with the wood again so he couldn't decipher my expression…again.

He sighed and gently took a piece of wood from my hands. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as I peeked at him. "I am fine here, Rikku. Why don't you have Auron help you set up your things for the night?"

I looked over my shoulder at the legendary guardian. He was sitting on his sleeping bag with his hand over his stomach. His eyes were squeezed shut and his lips had formed a thin line due to his obvious discomfort. Oh no! He's still in pain. Ugh, he's so stupid! We should've stopped much earlier, but noooo, stupid Auron wanted to keep going!

"Yeah, sure," I muttered to Braska before standing up and making my way over to Auron. I was light on my toes because I knew that even though Auron was injured, he still had an incredible sense of hearing and an even better reaction time. I didn't want him to jump up and slice me, thinking I was a fiend or something.

Wait. He would never do that to me…right?

It looked like I wasn't quiet enough because after only taking a few steps, Auron's eyes shot open. "What is it, Rikku?" he asked in his deep, calm voice.

My mind went blank. Why had Braska sent me over here? To make food? No…that wasn't it. To clean our weapons? No, I already did that. Why am I standing in front of Auron like an idiot right now? Quick, Rikku! Think of an excuse!

"Oh, um, I was just wondering if you needed any of your things to be washed. I was just getting ready to go take a bath in the spring across the pathway over there." I pointed behind us. "And I was gonna wash my clothes while I was at it." My cheeks were steadily getting redder and redder. Why am I so stupid? I could've said anything, but I had to go and announce my bath to Auron!

Auron smirked and looked down at his hands. He didn't seem to want to make eye contact with me. I didn't blame him. I always seemed to make things really awkward, really fast. "No, thank you. I will be fine with my things for awhile."

"O-Okay!" I squeaked out, and quickly turned around to go take my bath.

"Hey!" Jecht shouted at me from where he was a few feet away. It seemed like he hadn't moved from that spot since I pushed him over. The only thing he had done was lay down on the ground instead of remain in his seated position. "You can wash my bandana! I got it all sweaty and stuff from all the battles." He reached up and started to untie it.

"Ew, no way!" I squealed. "You can wash your own dirty laundry. I'm not your slave!" I huffed and kept on walking. I'm pretty sure Jecht started to complain about why I was willing to wash Auron's stuff but not his, but I wasn't really listening. I just wanted to get out of there. If my cheeks got any hotter, my head was definitely going to explode.

Really, it would!

---X---X---X---X---X---

I felt like I was tainting something sacred. Yunie had told me of her special memory with Tidus at this spring, and I was so happy for her. Really, I was. But right now, I had no other choice but to use this same spring for myself. Not in the same way of course. There's no one that loves me and would comfort me the way Tidus did for Yuna, anyway. I sighed, dipping my head under the surface of the soothing water once more. The cold temperature did wonders for my cheeks, by the way.

I had already washed my bikini and my skirt, so they were hanging on a random branch of one of the crystalline trees around the spring to dry. After I had hung my clothes up, I had plugged my nose and plunged straight into the depths of the spring without a care as to how I could be perceived if someone were to be watching.

What kind of a creeper would watch an innocent girl like me bathe anyway? I laughed underwater, thinking of Jecht. He was pretty perverted, but he would never do something like that. From the way he talked about his wife, I could tell that he was so in love with her. That didn't seem to stop him from messing with me all the time, though. I laughed again, sending hordes of bubbles to the surface.

The reason I was even out here bathing was because I just needed a way to take my mind off of everything and relax all of my muscles from the day's long journey. So far, nothing was working. I couldn't get a certain red cloak-wearing man out of my head. Oh, and I felt like I still had tons of questions for Baathum. During the day, I had done a lot of thinking since everybody else was so quiet. One thing that kept popping into my mind was, "Why don't I tell them the real way to defeat Sin?" That way, Braska wouldn't die, we wouldn't have to deal with Yunalesca, and it would be a happy ending for everybody.

The only problem was, that conclusion could mean something really bad for the future. I wasn't the greatest with the sciences and theories that were in all the books; hands-on work with machina was more my thing. But, anyway, my common sense was telling me that if Braska did end up defeating Sin the same way that we did with Yunie, then the future might be kind of messed up.

Tidus would never be sent to Spira because Jecht would never become Sin. Yunie would never fall in love with Tidus because she would never meet him, and she would never need Kimahri as her protector because Braska would return home, alive, to care for her himself. Lulu and Wakka would never become as close as they had on the pilgrimage and they would never get married. I would never meet Yunie because there would be no pilgrimage, which meant that I would never meet Auron or fall in lov-

I broke through the surface of the spring for more air. All this thinking was making me lightheaded.

Oh no! This is disasterrific!

What was I going to do then? Stay with them on the pilgrimage and watch as Jecht becomes the Final Aeon, killing Braska after killing Sin? Oh, and not to mention the fact that Auron will be killed by Yunalesca in his desperate attempt for revenge. Oh, this sucked. This sucked big time.

What the heck am I supposed to do?

"You have been doing a lot of thinking."

I gasped, wrapping my arms over my chest in an attempt to shield myself from the mystery voice's prying eyes. I had no idea where the voice came from. It was as if it was all around me. Now that I thought about it, the voice was kind of familiar.

"Rikku." The voice sounded amused.

I blinked several times as I took in the form of a small boy directly ahead of me. "Baathum," I retorted.

He chuckled, obviously amused at how he startled me. "I felt a pull in your mind. I was summoned here because of it."

My jaw dropped. "I s-summoned you?"

The hooded boy nodded once. "Yes. Were you unaware that if you think about your predicament with purely selfless rationales, you ultimately summon me?"

I wrapped my arms around my chest even tighter. "Obviously not," I shot back. "You know, mister, the last time I saw you, it was in my dreams!" I closed my eyes. "I had a really bad dream after that, you big meanie!"

Baathum drooped his head a fraction of an inch. "I apologize. That is a possible side-effect of my visitations in your subconscious mind."

"W-What?" Speak Spiran Baathum!

"In other words, I will not be seeing you in your dreams again. I do not wish for you to have unpleasant thoughts because of my presence in your mind," he shrugged.

"Pfft. Like I already haven't had unpleasant thoughts!" I responded. "I'm in the past, buddy! I'm really confused and scared and I don't know what I'm supposed to do, other than stay with Braska. Oh, and by the way, you're not helping one bit!" Maybe I was getting a little out of hand?…Nah.

He shrunk back slightly. "Again, I apologize. It is just…I thought you would understand by now."

"Understand what!?" I pleaded with the small boy. It didn't seem right that a fayth as small as him would have such a powerful mind…and a powerful aeon that it transforms into. "Stop being so cryptic all the time!"

"Your thoughts were almost there. You are so very close to reaching the conclusion…yet so very far," he replied. That wasn't any less cryptic than before.

I gasped again. "Hey, you little…boy! Have you been listening in on my thoughts!?" I huffed and turned my back on him. "Talk about an invasion of privacy!"

Baathum sighed. "I cannot control whether or not I hear your thoughts, Rikku. As of right now, it seems like I can hear everything you think. My only guess as to why that would be is that we have somewhat of a mental link while you carry on your mission."

I looked over my shoulder at him. He seemed…sad. And I didn't understand why. If he didn't want to deal with me, he should've just left me in the future where I belonged!

He sighed again. "Rikku, you are not the only one that is left in the dark during this situation. I had to wake up from my eternal rest to answer to the Superior Fayth. I was told to send you to the past."

"And you know what I'm supposed to do."

He nodded. "Yes, I do."

"So tell me!" I pleaded again. I would've gotten out of the water to run up and hug the little boy, but I was completely naked. That would be sort of…inappropriate. I gave a quick giggle at his reaction. He must've heard that thought.

Baathum crossed his arms, taking a few steps closer to me. I squealed and submerged a little deeper into the water so he wouldn't see anything but my face. "I can only tell you one thing. Two people that you meet or have already met on this pilgrimage are meant to die. It was sealed by fate. There is another, however,…that was not meant to die." Baathum sent me a meaningful look. "That person mustn't die, Rikku. You must save him at all costs."

"Ooh, so it's a him?" I groaned. "How 'bout you make it easy and just tell me who's who in this little game of yours!"

"I am bound by the Superior Fayth's word. I cannot tell you, even if I wished to," he explained.

I squeezed my eyes shut to stop them from watering. At that moment, there was nothing I wished for more than to just be at Home, working on machina with Pops and Brother. But that couldn't happen because I was here and I had to finish this mission. "This is so ridiculous," I muttered.

"I know," he whispered.

I sniffed. Guilt was starting to eat at my tummy a little at how I had been treating Baathum. He was only the messenger, I supposed. And you know what they always say! "Don't shoot the messenger!"

"Baathum, I'm sor-" I opened my eyes, but he wasn't there. Baathum was gone again. "Geez. I was just about to apologize too!"

"Apologize to who?" Another voice drifted into the spring area.

I shrieked and wrapped my arms around myself again, sinking as deep as I possibly could without dipping my head in. "Auron what are you doing here!?" His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to try to explain, but I cut him off before he got to it. "Turn around, you peeping creeper! I can't believe you're here right now!" He instantly turned his back on me and covered his eyes with his hands.

"I'm sorry! The only reason I even came here was to make sure you didn't accidentally drown yourself." I got out of the water as he started to explain and tip-toed to my clothes to pull them on quickly before he turned around again. "You have been gone for over four hours."

I gasped as I pulled my last article of clothing on. Has it really been that long? But why would Auron even care? Oh, yeah. I'm a "valuable part of the pilgrimage." Pfft. Yeah, right…

"I will leave." Auron started to walk away with his eyes still covered. I cracked a small smile. What a dork.

"Auron, you can turn around. I have clothes on now," I said with a smirk, crossing my arms. He complied, slowly and deliberately turning to face me again. When he met my eyes, the look he gave me completely took my breath away. But I had to have been imagining things. There was no way Auron would look at me like that!

His chocolate brown eyes had softened considerably when they met my eyes, and his entire face seemed to noticeably relax. He looked peaceful to be looking at me, or something. He's probably just happy that I'm not gonna kick his butt to punish him for sneaking up on me while I was bathing. Then again…

"Rikku, I was only making sure you were alright."

I didn't reply. Instead, I took steps closer and closer to him until we were face to face. "You know, for someone that doesn't seem to care about anything but yourself and this pilgrimage, you sure seem react to all the little things I do!" He visibly blanched. I tried to ignore the look on his face, so I continued, "Every single time Jecht and I kid around, you get an annoyed look on your face. Every time I take down a big fiend, you seem angry that I actually accomplished something. Every time I do something right, it's not good enough." With each comment I made, I jabbed my finger into his upper chest for emphasis.

"If I didn't know any better, I would say you hate me," I finished. "The only thing is, I…I have no idea why. What did I ever do to you, Auron?" Uh-oh. Now he looks kinda mad. His fists were balled up and his arms were shaking. Crap. Shoulda kept my big, fat mouth closed. Eh, there's no stopping now!

"You treat me like I'm nothing," I said calmly. He grabbed my shoulders with his big, strong hands. Maybe that was his way of trying to get me to look at him. No siree, I wasn't about to look back up into his dark brown eyes. Then, I would officially be screwed.

Tysh. I just looked up. Now I'm in trouble.

"Auron, even though you're a big stupid meanie who hates me…I c-can't seem to s-stop thinking about you." I barely even registered that he was steadily forcing me to walk backwards until my back came into contact with one the many trees in this forested area. "I know I'm clumsy, immature, weak, stupid, and every other imaginable fault. But, you don't have to make me f-feel like I'm those things…you know?"

My lip started to quiver. Please don't say anymore, Rikku! I'm sorry I even started talking. "I'm so stupid," I whispered, drooping my head down. "You shouldn't have to hear any of this, Auron."

"You do not understand, do you?" he asked in that calm voice of his. My head snapped up to look him square in the eye.

I swore my heart just stopped. There was no way in Spira that Auron could possibly be looking at me like that again. Not two times in one night…not at all. It's Auron! He's all quiet and tough and strong and mysterious and sexy and…Stop there, Rikku!

Words completely escaped me. He was looking at me, expecting me to say something. Anything. But I just stood there and stared at him like a fool.

He sighed and shook his head. His grip on my shoulders loosened and his hands trailed down my arms until they reached either side of my hips. They left goosebumps down my arms…and now butterflies were flittering across my hips as he gripped them with a little bit more force.

My heart rate quickened and I'm pretty sure my breathing was hitched. How could it not be when Auron is holding me against a tree? His face was so close to mine too. "A-Auron…?" I gasped out. He shook his head again. His breathing was hitched to match my own. I could tell because of how his chest was rising and falling so fast. But why would he be nervous?

Suddenly, he started to lean in closer to my face, tilting his head slightly. It wasn't as if there was a whole lot of space between us in the first place, but now I felt so flustered...it was like I couldn't breathe at all. Is he gonna kiss me? He was so close that if I were to make any sort of movement, our lips would brush. Ugh, but I can never be with Auron! Not now…not ever.

Before he could do what I thought he might do, I pushed him away from me with as much force as I could muster. After he stumbled back a few paces, the look he sent me broke my heart. His brown orbs were filled with…hurt. Tysh.

"I'm sorry, Auron." I brushed past him and ran away from the spring. I didn't turn around. Not once. If I did, I was afraid of what else I might see in Auron's eyes. Tysh tysh tysh!

"I can't do this anymore! I can't stay here!" Instead of running back to where Jecht and Braska were, I took a sharp left turn that would lead me straight into the heart of the woods. That was where I wanted to be. By myself.

I grabbed a branch nearby and swung myself up to the tip-top of the tree. I straddled the big branch and leaned my back against the thick tree.

Don't be a coward, Rikku. Don't run away from fate.

I flinched at the sudden noise. This time, I knew whose voice it was, but the only thing I couldn't comprehend was why Baathum was in my head now.

Our mental link, remember?

"Oh yeah…" I murmured. "Well, break the mental link, kay? Just…go away." I buried my head into my arms.

From the brief silence, I could tell that Baathum was either sighing or shaking his head in exasperation.

You would be correct in assuming that, Rikku.

"Wow, I've gotten to know you pretty well, haven't I, Baathum!" I lifted my head up so I could pump my fist into the air gloatingly. Another sigh from the fayth. "Okay, okay. Sorry." I crossed my arms. "So, I'm guessing that you want me to go back to Braska and his guardians."

Yes.

"Oh, and I'm just throwing this one out there: you saw what just happened between Auron and I?" I bit my lip in apprehension for his answer.

He laughed at me. I did. And I'm sorry if I was "invading" your privacy again. It was not my intent.

It was my turn to sigh now. "Whatever. There's not much we can do about our link at this point, I don't think."

I agree. Now, Rikku, please get down from that tree and return to the where the summoner and his guardians set up camp for the night.

I groaned. "I suppose there's no other option, is there? I have to go and eventually save his life. Whoever the heck he is supposed to be."

Silence.

"There better be something in it for me, you know!" I shouted after jumping off the top of the tree.

Do not worry. There will be…

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A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and HAPPY HOLIDAYS! =D