I woke up with Sarah sitting, not at my feet like she usually was, but instead right next to my head. I laughed a little as I sat up, "What are you doing? Just tying to switch it up a little?"
"I was listening to your heart." She said, the laughter in her voice sounded wrong. Like she had a bad taste in her mouth or something.
"Um, that's not creepy at all. Why were you doing that?" I still thought it was funny, no matter how uncomfortable my knowing about her weird-ish pastimes made her. She grabbed my hand then. For a moment I was confused. Then she stared showing me sounds. That she had heard last night. All night. From the various bedrooms of the house. I don't think further explanation is necessary.
"Ohhhh." I said, understanding. And then I started laughing my butt off, "Want me to stay up with you tonight? I'll take you hunting or something."
She sighed in relief, even though we both knew she didn't need to breath. "Yeah, that would be… awesome." I laughed all the way to the bathroom, turning on the shower while I went to the bathroom. Why? Because everyone in that house has super-hearing and I'm the only one who ever uses the toilet. The only time I've ever felt truly embarrassed.
I took a quick shower, rinsing the leaves out of my hair. I had come home from patrol and crashed immediately; I guess Sarah had changed my clothes for me.
As I walked to the closet in our bedroom (walk-in of course) I took Sarah's hand. It was easier to talk like that. "I told Alice to stop doing this!" I told Sarah, looking at the newest additions to our closet. I had begun to wear mostly dresses- it was much easier than jeans. But the thing that everyone thought was peculiar was that I only wore white. This was for two reasons:
1. I was a werewolf/shape shifter/MURDERER whatever you want to call it, and I felt like a monster. Obviously. I mean, Michael J. Fox and Michael Jackson were the best representation we had. That definitely didn't help how I viewed my kind. And if you really wanted the best argument for the whole "I'm a monster" thing- we were always so angry!
2. I was punishing myself, just a little, for my transgressions.
3 I was really pale and white made me look a little bit darker.
I didn't tell anyone these reasons. I didn't give anyone any reasons at all actually. I realized with a start that I was changing; inside and out. I didn't know if it was a good thing.
"Why do you care so much? It's just clothes." She said, ignoring my obvious want for some privacy. That snapped me back to the present. Oh yeah, I was pissed because Alice had-once again- stocked the closet full of cute and colorful dresses. All of them in my size. The most repulsive clothing to me though was the ever-growing pile of blue jeans in my size. Sickening.
"It's just the principle. We live here for free, why should we have an unlimited supply of clothes?" I asked, sounding annoyed. "That we don't get to pick out." I added mentally.
"Well, I'd like to bet that our supply's not completely unlimited." Sarah laughed. We shared a smile as she passed her idea to me. Edward was out of the house at the moment. Though even if he was home, I doubt he would care enough to give us away.
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Most of the family was off hunting somewhere. They didn't trust us alone so they had left Bella and Emmett to baby-sit us. Please! We were ten times as mature as Emmett. The idea that he was one of our guardians was simply insulting. As I walked out of our ridiculously-sized closet, I saw Sarah move her eyes carefully to the hallway and back to me again. Oh, someone to mess with. Sweet!
"Ew, stink face, are you sure you just took a shower?!" She said, venom heavy in her voice. Must have been Bella in the hallway. I knew just which buttons to push.
"I don't know, corpse bride! I don't have to shower as much as you. I mean, you must have to, to keep the maggots away." I half-shouted, somehow sounding just as frightening as Sarah had. Then suddenly, though I knew she was going to do it, she tackled me. I flipped us over mid air so that I would land on top. Emmett rushed in to cheer us on, but Bella was frozen in the doorway. Bella stood on the threshold, a full two-second hesitation; in which Sarah and I were locked in a battle to the… uh death, on the floor of the room.
Then Bella ran after us, trying desperately to pull us apart, sure that we were going to kill each other. "Girls! Girls!" She began. But by the time she started the second word we were already rolling on the floor laughing.
"What was that?!" Bella shouted in confusion.
"What are you talking about?" I asked innocently. Standing up and straightening my clothes as Sarah did the same. (Only when Sarah did it she was waaaay more graceful) We high fived Emmett on the way out of our room and Bella went storming down the hall to complain to someone how unruly we were. Ha ha!
I didn't think she'd be one of our babysitters anymore.
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Sarah and I walked, holding hands as always, into Carlisle's study. It was becoming our Sunday routine, as close to church as we could get. Plus, I was pretty sure Carlisle had more knowledge of the Bible then any pastor I would ever find. He smiled at us as we entered his office, beaming at the fact that he had someone to share his extensive knowledge with. He was the only one in the family who didn't seem to find any amusement at all in Sarah and I's faith. He didn't even seem to notice the irony.
Most Sundays, our conversation inevitably went one of two ways: Sarah's mortality, or why I felt so strongly about not killing anything (especially animals). The first topic made Sarah mildly uncomfortable. The second freaked me out a little. I mean, you'd feel bad too, telling the man who devoted his life to saving people, that you felt it was wrong to eat animals. Of course I didn't think anything bad about his family's decision. I just felt they had been forced to choose the lesser of two evils.
Because of how uncomfortable topics like that made me, I usually shifted the conversation to Sarah's mortality. Because that weirded her out she usually tried to make everyone talk about me. Hmm, I guess I know why we only talk about two things. Today however, the topic shifted to what Sarah and I planned to do with our lives.
"I obviously have no idea. I mean, I know I can pretty much control the length of my life. I can live forever if I want. But I really don't want that. What's the point? Half the fun of life is knowing that you'll someday run out of time. Plus, I fully believe in a God, His Son, Heaven, and entrance into it offered to all who repent." I rambled on, feeling more like a lunatic with every passing second.
Sarah and Carlisle didn't share their own opinions on this and I respected that. I knew they talked in private and, despite my lack of privacy, I didn't begrudge Sarah hers. I owed her enough.
"That's fine, you don't need to decide that now." Carlisle said kindly. "But both of us are beginning to notice your steady decline into depression." I looked down and began to twiddle my fingers. I didn't want to look like a cry baby. There were so many people who had it so much worse than I did. So what if I felt a little guilty about- I stopped myself from that train of thought. There were just too many ways for her to find out what I was thinking in this house.
"I'm not completely sure what I'm looking for." I muttered, still not looking up and ignoring Sarah's hand when she offered it. It was true, I didn't know what I was looking for. But I knew I couldn't find it here. I gave them a simple, "I need to go. Patrol, you know how it is." Then rushed out of the office, jumped out of the bedroom window, and phased before I hit the ground.
A/N: Yeah, I know this chapter was really long. Sorry if it got boring. But it was necessary (most of it. I'm not gonna lie, some of it was for my own sadistic pleasure) so if you just skimmed over something than you should def go back and read it. Go on, don't be a slacker! And if you did read it than you should review. I'll love you more.
Paz,
Lacey =)