Fade With Me

Chapter 12

---R---E---C---A---P---

I tried to pry myself away from him, but he grabbed me by my waist and made me look at him. "Rikku. I don't ever want you to think of yourself as anything less than remarkable." He leaned forward and brushed his lips against my cheek in a gentle kiss.

He released me, brushing by my shoulder as he made a move to follow his summoner to the ends of the world.

I was left there, holding my hand to my cheek in complete shock.

I love him.

…

Cred.

---X---X---X---X---X---

Jecht whistled at the sight of all the large Ronso gathered at the top of the small slope we were steadily making our way towards. "What are they?" he whispered in my ear.

I rolled my eyes, but then remembered that he and Tidus were truly clueless when it came to so many different aspects of Spira. "They're the Ronso tribe. They live on Mt. Gagazet, silly!" I let out a small laugh.

He nodded once to show that he understood, but by the look on his face, I could tell that he still didn't really get it. At all.

I sighed. "Think of them as protectors of the mountain, Jecht. They make sure that only summoners and their guardians pass through to Zanarkand…and that we're somewhat safe and secure along the way." I suddenly remembered Kimahri and one of his Ronso acquaintances sparring before we were allowed to pass through. "At least…I think that's what they do." My brow creased in doubt.

"Well, you've been a big help," Jecht grumbled before walking over to Auron, probably to get more useful information out of him than he had managed to get out of me.

I rolled my eyes again, trying to ignore the painful palpitations that my heart was frenzying itself into when I glanced over at Auron. "Oh geez…what have I gotten myself into?" I mumbled. "I can't think of him like that. It…won't end well…not at all." I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"Summoner wish to pass?" the deep voice of a Ronso startled me out of my reveries. I looked up to realize that we had gotten almost face to face with the biggest of all the Ronso. He crossed his arms as he carefully scrutinized each of us. "Why should summoner pass?" he grunted. "Need skills for Zanarkand."

Jecht cocked his head at the mention of Zanarkand.

I looked at Braska in confusion, but he wasn't paying me any attention. He merely nodded, gesturing for everybody to get out of his way. "I will prove my skill to you," he calmly stated, whipping out his staff and pointing it towards the skies.

Is he going to summon?

My question was answered as Braska started performing the summoner's dance. It was a new one, though, and I wondered if maybe he was calling forth his most recently acquired aeon for help.

Yojimbo.

In a matter of seconds, the bodyguard-esque aeon appeared at Braska's side, looking down at his summoner before glancing at all the Ronso in front of him. He unsheathed one of his many katanas, but stayed stock-still, waiting for Braska to command the next move.

My uncle took a step towards the Ronso, who - in their own special way - looked truly shocked to see an aeon of Yojimbo's caliber at such a close proximity to them. I let out a small laugh at the sight of one of the particularly smaller Ronso children hiding behind his mother's legs.

Poor little guy.

"Would you like me to demonstrate my aeon's power, or is his presence adequate?" Braska asked in a way that made me proud to be both his guardian and his niece. He had such an air of confidence - and of eloquence - that made everyone around him want to either cower at his feet or serve him whatever he could possibly ask for.

It was amazing.

The largest Ronso stepped forward, eyeing Yojimbo apprehensively. "Aeon strong. You may pass." He made a small bow of respect to Braska before he and all the Ronso - for lack of a better term - backed off.

I let out another small laugh.

"What is so funny, Rikku?" a low voice asked from behind me. I stiffened, instantly knowing who the owner of the voice was before I even had to turn around. Not a second later, Auron appeared at my side. "Did I miss something important?" His eye had a twinkle in it that was barely noticeable. I hardly caught it myself.

I shook my head slowly. "Uh, no. I just like seeing Braska passively kicking people's asses." I pumped my fist into the air with a serious look on my face. "It makes me proud to be here as his guardian."

Auron laughed quietly, nodding in Braska's direction. "My lord summoner is good at what he does. He will, without a doubt, vanquish Sin with his unbeatable resolve."

I sighed dejectedly. "Yeah…that's the worst part."

Auron gave me a strange look before following Jecht and Braska up the next slope and into the main part of Gagazet: the snowy mountains. My knees were starting to buckle in apprehension of the freezing cold that I knew was sure to come in a matter of minutes.

This would be one of the times that I wished I was wearing a little more clothing.

I groaned, wrapping my scarf tightly around my neck and face before running to catch up with the summoner and his guardians.

---X---X---X---X---X---

"We must hurry through the mountains until we reach the Fayth Scar!" Braska tried to shout over the whipping wind. To me, it felt like a monstrous blizzard was on its way. That would be our luck, I figured. Right when we arrive, there would be a powerful snowstorm like no other.

This is fantastic...

NOT!

"What!?" Jecht yelled, cupping a hand to his ear so he could hear what Braska was trying to say. It was nearly impossible to do so with the chilling wind practically screaming in our ears.

It was hard for me to know for sure - what with the wind and all that - but I could've sworn that Auron sighed at Jecht's remark. Then, he strode over to Jecht before leaning over and talking directly into the blitzball player's ear so he could actually understand.

"Oh!" Jecht nodded in comprehension. "So what happens if we split up then?" He scratched the back of his head in confusion.

"We will meet at the Fayth Scar if something of those likes were to occur!" Braska explained, giving each of us a pointed look. The wind nearly blew away his headdress in the process. "It is my hope that nothing like that would happen, however," he stated seriously.

We all nodded in reply. Getting lost in this blizzard was not something that I wanted to do. Especially since it was so cold out! At least the Fayth Scar had some kind of inner heat ventilation going on, or something…I thought.

Oh, no.

I just realized that Braska, Jecht and Auron had already started making their way up one of the snowcapped slopes, leaving me standing there like a dork. I must not have heard the last thing they said before they left.

Darn this stupid wind! And darn ME for getting so easily distracted by my stupid thoughts!!

It was pretty difficult for me to keep up with them. The wind kept blowing me back, the white blankets of snow in the air made it hard to see more than a few feet in front of me, and my legs were numbed from the freezing temperatures...making them feel like they were heavier than usual. I would have shouted for them to slow down and wait for me, but it would've been pointless anyway because they wouldn't have been able to hear me.

Plus, I was a big girl and I knew I could take care of myself perfectly. All I had to do was pick up my pace a little bit and I'd be back with them in no time!

…

Cred.

They were nowhere in sight anymore.

I had…officially…gotten lost. To me, it seemed like hours had passed by with me simply wandering around, shouting out every now and then, trying desperately to find them. I did the best I could to stay warm by draping my scarf over every body part imaginable, but it didn't really help all that much.

I was starting to get tired too. The cold had a way of making you lethargic, weak, numb, and extremely tired. I knew the worst thing anyone could do in the middle of a blizzard is lay down and fall asleep because surely that would kill them after a few minutes of remaining motionless.

You have to keep the blood flowing when you're cold, so in my case, I had to keep walking…or else!

"I'm n-n-n-not gonna las-s-s-t much l-l-longer…" I mumbled through my chattering teeth. Somehow, through the snowy visor that had clouded my vision, I had actually managed to stumble upon a side of the mountain. That way, I could maybe use it as my guide since I could no longer see anything except for pure white in front of me, even if my life depended on it.

I continued running my hand along the rocky surface as I was wandering about, when suddenly, I felt a hand latch onto my wrist and pull me towards it. "AHH!" My heart practically stopped beating then and there.

What the hell is holding onto my arm so tightly!?!?

"Rikku." The voice sounded a tad bit worried. I wondered whose voice it was.

I carefully opened my eyes, my surroundings registering as nothing more than a blur. I had squeezed them shut when I felt something on my wrist because I was scared…and incredibly loopy. Getting lost in a blizzard tends to mess with your mind a little bit. Trust me on that one.

"Rikku, please say something." The voice was sounding more panicked.

Slowly, I looked up to come face to face with none other than Auron. I blinked a few times in my stupor. Then, I looked around to realize that he had pulled me into what seemed like a very small crevice in the side of the mountain. This area was a very very small cave. My head was almost touching the top of it, and that was saying something since I wasn't the tallest person around.

"Rikku." Hands on my shoulders squeezed gently to get me to snap out of it. He said something else after that, but it sounded like muffled noise to me. I couldn't make any of it out.

"W-w-w-what?" I asked with a still quivering chin. I wrapped my arms around myself in a hopeless attempt at warming up a little bit. My ears were ringing a little bit after becoming so accustomed to the loud wind outside.

"Your lips have turned blue from the cold," Auron murmured as he wrapped his warm arm around my shoulder, leading me a little further into the cave. He helped me sit down next to a small fire that lit the small area for us.

I closed my eyes after watching the pyres from the flame dance around. It was making me sleepy. A few moments later, I felt something warm and heavy drape itself over my back. I blinked my eyes open slowly, confused. "Mmm?"

"Here…my coat," Auron murmured as he adjusted the red cloak around my shoulders. "You need it more than I do."

"T-t-t-thanks," I managed to get out through my chattering teeth, my eyes drifting closed again.

If I would have been outside any longer…I could have died.

I felt Auron lay down a few feet away from me after making some remark about how we were going to be stuck in the cave for quite awhile, so I followed his example. There was no way we were going to be able to venture outside. Not when the weather was still in its blizzard conditions.

He saved my life again.

My heart swelled at the thought of my own personal guardian. It was the last thing I thought of before I fell asleep.

---X---X---X---X---X---

I was having a nice dream about a super successful machina excavation on Bikanel when it all started to get a little fuzzy…and I felt an odd sensation around the side of my hip, dragging my subconscious mind away from the fantasy. The sensation was really nice, though. Almost like it was protecting me from something.

"Mmm?" I unintelligibly mumbled.

I wondered what it was, but I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes, even though I was fully awake at that point. I was too comfortable, too warm, and too lazy to move. But then, the sensation on my hip suddenly tightened, pulling me closer in one direction.

That was when I opened my eyes…and found that I was staring directly at Auron's chest.

My jaw dropped in shock.

How did this even happen?

Suddenly, all the events of yesterday came rushing back to me, clarifying all of my confusing thoughts and questions. I remembered getting lost in the blizzard, stumbling around by myself for awhile - nearly dying from the cold, I might add - and Auron rescuing me by bringing me inside this makeshift cave-place. I was so chilled to the bone and so completely mystified by the numbing cold that I didn't know what was going on at the time any more than I had control over it. So I had let Auron take the lead once more by saving me.

Then…we both must've fallen asleep close to the fire a little while later.

I blinked stupidly, the reality of the situation I was in slowly settling in.

Auron had his arm draped around me, keeping both of us warm as he shielded me from harm - from the cold. But doing so left us in quite an intimate position. I was worried that he would wake up and get angry at me for being so close to him.

But maybe when we woke up, he would feel like he was the one that violated some code of conduct by allowing me to snuggle up to him to stay warm.

Or maybe he would think I was a stupid little girl who couldn't take care of herself at all, and needed constant protection at all times.

Maybe…I should just stop thinking altogether, seeing as I was getting nowhere with it.

I sighed nervously. I tried to ignore how fast my heart was beating and how warm my cheeks were becoming…being so close to Auron in this way.

To hell with it.

I closed my eyes again, snuggling even closer to Auron than I was before I had woken up. I convinced myself that if I was going to be in this wonderful situation with the man that I loved - but who didn't love me back - I might as well take advantage of it. His body was giving off enough heat for the both of us. Plus, there wasn't that much time left for…well, I didn't really want to start thinking about that again, or I might start crying.

The arm around me suddenly stiffened before slowly detaching itself entirely. In my head, I shouted out my disappointment. I was secretly hoping that I could share a moment like that with Auron…when I was actually conscious.

But it seemed like the gods weren't on my side today. Not at all.

What else could go wrong?

I heard Auron shift slightly, and I assumed he was getting in a sitting position to wake up. I wondered what his face looked like when he saw the position we had tangled ourselves into while we were sleeping. That would have been really really amusing. But oh well. Beggars couldn't be choosers.

Auron groaned softly, and after a moment, I felt heavy fabric drape itself over my shoulders again.

He just covered me up with his cloak again!

"Hn…" he muttered. I felt the back of his hand come in contact with my forehead, and I blushed furiously. I assumed he was checking my temperature or something.

Finally deciding that my little charade was long past expired, I slowly opened my eyes, taking in my surroundings and looking around in confusion. I hoped that I actually looked like someone who had just woken up.

Auron's hand was still on my forehead when he realized that I was awake. He gently moved it down to my cheek, cupping it with the palm of his hand.

"I was worried," he stated, staring straight into my eyes. I tried not to blink away at his intense scrutiny.

"W-worried?" I stammered. "About what?" I started to sit up when I noticed that he still hadn't removed his hand from my face. Something seemed to click when I was at his eyelevel, though, because he hastily removed his hand, clearing his throat.

"We lost you in the storm," he said with a serious look on his face. "I told Lord Braska and Jecht to continue on to the Fayth Scar while I searched for you. I didn't want to risk losing anyone else."

My gaze averted to the stony ground. "Well…you found me." How embarrassing. "I'm really sorry I got lost, Auron."

He shook his head slowly. "You did nothing wrong, Rikku. I am lucky to have been able to find you in that storm. I thank Yevon that you are still alive."

I shivered, remembering how cold it was out there when I was wandering around. "Yeah, I was pretty cold." I glanced up with a shy smile. "Thanks…Auron. For saving me again."

He merely grunted in reply, tearing his gaze away from my face. "Yes, well…it is my duty to protect the summoner…and his guardians as well." He cleared his throat again.

I decided to be bold. "You don't seem to protect Jecht as much as you protect me, Auron," I stated quietly. "But I'm grateful for it, even though you and I both know I can take care of myself just fine." I laughed uneasily when he grimaced.

"As of late, it has been necessary for me to protect you, Rikku." He sighed. "But…I suppose I do not mind it, either." He looked at me with a soft smile. "Are you feeling alright now? Your cheeks were flushed earlier. And you had a temperature."

I choked, but somehow I managed to turn it into a cough. He noticed I was blushing!? Agh!!

"I'm completely fine. Please, don't worry!" I laughed uneasily again, completely unsure of what I should say next. The way Auron was looking at me was making my stomach do back-flips. "So, um…do you think Braska and Jecht already made it to the Fayth Scar?"

Auron nodded slowly. "Yes, I do believe they made it there safely." He turned his head to look out the opening of the cave. The blizzard was still raging outside. "I fear we may be stuck here for another few hours or so." He sighed, repositioning himself on the ground so he could be more comfortable.

I sighed too. "I'm glad they're okay at least." I hesitated for a moment. "But…how long do you think we'll be in here for exactly?"

Auron didn't meet my eyes. "I am not sure. Let us simply hope that the storm dies down soon. That way, we can continue on with the pilgrimage before-"

"Auron," I cut him off. My gut was starting to twist painfully and I just had to ask him something before I lost my chance completely. "Do you…do you ever get scared. While we're traveling and fighting, I mean?" I looked up at him, biting my lip in apprehension. "It just seems like nothing ever phases you…and I wish I could be more like that."

Auron closed his eyes, placing his forefinger and his thumb over his temples before massaging them gently. "Rikku. You should not wish to be like me in any regard." He removed his hand from his face so he could look at me. "You…are fine the way you are." He sighed. "But to answer your question, there are certain things that I fear."

I leaned a little closer to him, urging him to continue. "Like…?"

"Like…failing to protect the people I care for."

My heart stopped at his sincere words. Every day I spent more and more time with Auron, I realized what a kindhearted person he was…and how much I loved him. "I'm scared of that, too." I let out a shaky breath. "But, there's something I don't understand."

Auron cocked his head to the side slightly. "And what is that?" he asked quietly.

"If you're afraid of failing to protect your loved ones, then why are you a guardian? Well, I mean…I know you're protecting Braska on his way to defeat Sin…but what good is that if you know he's going to die no matter what?"

His shoulders slumped by a fraction. "I…cannot answer that question properly because I myself am unsure of the answer."

"You mean, you don't know why you're a guardian?" I asked.

He nodded slowly. "Correct. All I know is that becoming a guardian is something I've always wanted to do." He turned his gaze to my face. "Do you know why you accepted Lord Braska's request to become a guardian?"

Because that's what I was supposed to do.

That's what Baathum said.

And that…would mean I would spend more time with you, Auron.

But I could never tell you that.

"Meeting Braska was one of the luckiest things that has happened to me in a long time, Auron," I started to explain. "I didn't know what my purpose here was…and I felt pretty useless. But when you guys helped me out on the coast of the Moonflow waters, I felt validated. Like I belonged, you know?"

He nodded slowly.

I continued, "And you three are some of the most interesting, funny, caring people I know. And I wanted to be around that as long as I could, even if it meant walking with Braska to…to his grave." I choked out the last word.

"I understand," Auron said calmly. "And you are an exceptional woman for taking on that responsibility, Rikku." My jaw dropped, but he continued as if he didn't notice it. "You are always so optimistic, so brave…and so loving to those around you. It gives me hope in the world that there actually are genuine people like you inhabiting it."

He leaned over to brush his thumb over my cheeks, and that was when I noticed he was wiping my tears away. "Don't cry," he murmured.

"S-sorry," I muttered, burying my scarf in my face to wipe away any further evidence of my tears. "It's just…I've never had anyone say something like that to me before." I slowly brought the scarf down so I could face him again. He had moved closer to me after leaning over to comfort me, which brought blush to my cheeks yet again.

"That is astonishing to me," he stated, looking truly confused.

I quirked a brow. "What is astonishing?" I sniffled.

"To realize that you are so unaware of your value to those around you." He shook his head slowly. "Do you have someone awaiting your return when this pilgrimage is finished?"

"What…what do you mean?" I asked slowly.

He sighed. "Isn't there someone that is waiting for you to return to him? Perhaps an Al Bhed gentleman?"

Oh…he's asking me if I have a boyfriend!?

"Um, no. There's no one waiting for me, Auron." No one at all.

"That surprises me as well," he stated matter-of-factly.

I laughed. "Well, it looks like you'll never stop being surprised when you're around me, huh?"

He looked like he was about to say something in reply, but then his head turned in the direction of the cave opening. "The storm has passed." He stood up carefully.

"Oh!" I stood up as well. "We didn't even notice it, did we?" I laughed again.

"I suppose that oft happens when you are in the company of a friend," he said with a small smile. "Shall we make our way to the Fayth Scar? Lord Braska and Jecht are likely to still be waiting for us to arrive."

My gut clenched. He had just called me his friend. "Yeah." I shrugged off his cloak to hand it to him, but he shook his head slowly.

"Please. Keep it for now." He walked over to the cave opening, but then stopped. "I have already told you what I fear most. So please…I do not wish to worry about that fear until it is absolutely necessary. For all of our sakes, Rikku."

I gulped painfully.

If only you knew how much we had in common, Auron. I know exactly what it's like to watch the person you care about most fade through your fingertips…without being able to do anything at all about it.

I could only nod my head slowly in response and follow Auron out of the cave.

I'm scared. I think we both are.

---X---X---X---X---X---

A/N: I think some parts of this were a little too fluffy…oh well. I LOVE FLUFF! And thank you all so much for the reviews, alerts, etc! =D I love you all so much. So keep 'em coming and I'll keep the chapters coming as fast as I can! XD