Fade With Me

Chapter 13

The journey to the Fayth Scar was nothing but a blur of white to me, snow and fiends flashing by without much concern on my part. I was practically on autopilot during all the battles with the fiends, and every chance I got, I withdrew into the safety of my own mind…since I actually had the chance at that particular point.

I stuck really close to Auron the entire way since I did not want to wander astray again. We both seemed to be completely lost in our thoughts, so it wasn't like it mattered how close or far I was anyway. None of us said a word for what seemed like several hours…until we met up with Braska and Jecht, that is.

"Praise be to Yevon!" Braska proclaimed at the entrance to the Fayth Scar, bowing to each of us earnestly. I couldn't control the twitch of my eyebrow after hearing such worship of that…that…there was no word in my censored vocabulary to describe what Yevon honestly was.

"I was worried that you both…" he trailed off, obviously not wanting to finish the grim thought. "I am glad you are alright." Braska turned to me, giving me his trademark expression: the essence of calm and control. "You are unharmed, correct?"

I somehow managed to find my voice after such a long period of disuse. "Y-Yeah. I'm fine." I glanced over at the person who had saved me from the storm. "I owe it to Auron…he saved my life again." I blushed crimson.

I sure seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

How embarrassing.

The center of my thoughts looked at me before he nodded slowly. "Yes…well, that is in the past now. It is futile to dwell on it." He paused for a moment to let out a heavy sigh. "We are all safe, so shall we move forward?" He looked to Braska, calmly awaiting the affirmative command.

Braska furrowed his eyebrows for a moment. "Certainly. However, there is one thing that I wish to understand before we continue." He gave us each expectant looks.

"Sure. What is it?" I asked, tilting my head to the side slightly. I wondered it was that he wanted to know about. His voice was tinged with…something I couldn't quite decipher.

The summoner paused briefly, clearing his throat. "I…was curious," he started, readjusting his headdress. "Where did you happen to seek shelter from the storm? There surely aren't too many places in the likes of Gagazet to keep warm."

Auron and I both fidgeted where we stood.

The former blitzball player stepped into the conversation. "Lemme guess. You found a nice cozy cave somewhere?" Noticing my increasing blush, Jecht guffawed obnoxiously, clapping a very stiff Auron on the shoulder. "I knew it! Way to go, bud!"

Auron's mouth was in a threateningly thin line as he stared at Jecht, who seemed to take the hint by removing his hand carefully. "You misunderstand, Jecht," Auron stated in that low voice of his. I so wanted to laugh at how he always tried to stay tough all the time - it was so cute - but I didn't have it in me. I was dead tired from walking through the snow.

…Hey! It was harder than it seemed, okay!? Snow was really thick…and heavy!

Jecht cocked his head. "What? I get it just fine, Auron." He looked from Auron, then to me, and back again. Then, he slowly scratched his rugged chin in thought. "You nearly had a heart attack when you first realized Rikku fell behind, you yelled at me and calmly reprimanded ol' Braska…" Jecht was ticking every comment he made off on each of his fingers, not daring to look at Auron as he did so. He continued, "You demanded that me and Braska head for the Fayth Scar while you saved your dear ol' Rikku from the blizzard by taking her into a cozy cave and-"

"Jecht," Braska said calmly, raising his hand into the air. "Enough. Please."

Jecht scratched the back of his head, finally noticing how distant Auron's expression had become while he was talking. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, Boss-man."

I decided it was my turn to say something. Anything was better than the uncomfortable silence now settling in on us. "Hey, Jecht. I'm no one's dear, you got that?" I crossed my arms. "I just…uh…needed a bit of help. Yeah, that's it!"

Jecht laughed again, turning away from us to venture farther into the Fayth Scar. "Sure," he said in between laughs. "Whatever. Keep convincing yourself o' that," he simply put, turning his back on us to lead the way out. I figured that he and Braska had probably explored the entire area while Auron and I were gone to see which way would lead us to the Zanarkand Ruins. They certainly had enough time to do so, I figured.

My eyes widened as I suddenly comprehended the last thing Jecht had said. Had he really meant it? And if so…how on Spira did he even have a clue about my feelings for Auron!? Was he suddenly some sort of a self-proclaimed love guru?

I glanced over at Auron walking a little bit ahead of me. He was staring at the ground as he walked, seemingly lost in thought again.

Maybe Jecht's words had more of an impact on Auron than he liked to show.

But the question would be…WHY!?

---X---X---X---X---X---

I wiped the slick sweat from my brow as I watched Jecht pace around impatiently. It was starting to get on my nerves, shredding them bit by bit like a cheese grater…or something metaphorical like that.

"Come on! That wasn't that hard!" the blitzer stuck his chest out, pounding it with his fist as he continued to boast. "I thought the rhino fiend was actually supposed to be tough!?"

I rolled my eyes from where I was sitting on the hard ground, rubbing my tender legs. They were covered with cuts and bruises. "You call a fight that lasts over an hour easy!?" I groaned as my hand moved over one of the more sensitive bumps on my calf. "Ouch!" I had to bit my lip to keep it from quivering in pain.

"Well, I thought it was easy!" Jecht said again. I didn't even have to look at him to know that there was a proud smirk gracing his features.

I was about to say something in reply to him, but I didn't think it would be very nice so I wisely kept my mouth shut. Plus, Auron told Jecht off anyway, so it wasn't like I even needed to at that point.

Auron always seems to be there when I need him---GAH! I sound so cliché!

"Are you alright, Rikku?"

And there he is now.

I looked up to give Auron my most convincing smile as of yet. "I'm super! Never been better! More fit than a fiddle-"

"Rikku." He was giving me that don't-even-bother-lying-to-me look.

I sighed in exasperation. "Fine." I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to maintain at least some of my dignity. "My legs kinda took a beating from the Sanctuary Keeper's photons when I tried to dodge them. Happy now!?"

His lips quirked up slightly. "That is all I asked," he stated before handing me a small potion vial.

"Thanks," I murmured before downing it in one gulp.

He nodded before reaching a hand out to help me up. "You fought well with your new weapon, Rikku. You have made considerable progress with it." He smiled softly.

I blushed, trying to shrug his compliment off. "Well, I've had experience with machina and all sorts of weapons since practically before I could even talk!" I joked, letting out a nervous chuckle. "Plus…" I looked into his chocolate eyes. "I had a…a really good teacher." I scratched my arm, trying to get my hands to do anything but twitch like a charged up machina.

He cleared his throat, looking at anything but my face. "That is good to hear," he stated, pausing for a moment before rejoining Braska and Jecht a little farther away from me.

Are you ready to finish your mission, Rikku?

I squealed at the sudden intrusion in my mind. I had gone so long without hearing the fayth's voice…I had started to wonder if it had all been just a figment of my vivid imagination. Maybe I had made it all up after the shocking event of time traveling ten years into the past.

You are nearing its completion, you know.

Clearly, that was too good to be true. Even I couldn't make up something of those likes, I supposed. "Yes, I'm ready to complete the stupid mission, Baathum," I grumbled, crossing my arms.

"Who are you speaking to, Rikku?"

Uh-oh.

I turned to face Braska with a brilliant grin on my face. "Oh, nobody! I was just thinking out loud."

Jecht rolled his eyes as he sighed. "Don't tell me you're hearing voices in your head or somethin'..." He let out a loud laugh. "We don't wanna have a crazy guardian on our hands, 'specially now that we're almost done wi' the pilgrimage!"

If only he knew how right he was: I do hear voices in my head. Well…just one voice.

So does that mean I'm crazy?

You are not crazy, Rikku. Just different.

"Oh, gee. I feel so much better now. Thanks a lot," I muttered under my breath, but I could've sworn Auron heard me because he looked at me for a second with one brow quirked up slightly. "Heh heh…" I scratched my cheek in embarrassment.

Auron was still looking at me as a small smile softened his features. He nodded once before we continued towards the Zanarkand Ruins.

---X---X---X---X---X---

"Hell no! This can't be it. There has to be some kinda mistake or somethin'…this…this place ain't Zanarkand!" Jecht was thinking out loud, which is something he was just making fun of me for! I would've pointed it out to him, but being the more compassionate person in our group, I chose not to. The sad look on his face sort of played a role in that decision as well, I supposed. "This ain't my Zanarkand…" Jecht trailed off, shaking his head in disbelief.

I walked over to Tidus' father, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder before giving it a gentle squeeze. "I know, Jecht. I'm sorry."

He snapped his head to face me, an angry expression on his face. "You're sorry!?" He took a step away from me, and my hand fell to my side. "Sorry ain't gonna change nothing, Rikku!" His eyes darted around at all the dilapidated, ruined pieces of what used to be a whole, bustling city. Now it was just a ghostly shadow of what it once was, with pyreflies circling the area like it was their long lost home.

"Nothing!" Jecht repeated to make his point clear, turning his back to me.

I shrunk back at the increasing volume of his voice, while Braska and Auron wisely remained silent throughout the tantrum.

Jecht, having nothing more to say to me, stormed off in the direction of a hilly terrain nearby. Now that I had thought of it, that hill was the same one that Tidus was standing on as he overlooked all of Zanarkand. It was right after we arrived at the Ruins. We were standing exactly where we were right now when Yuna suggested taking a break.

Hmm. That didn't sound like a bad idea right now. Jecht would need some time alone for a while to sort things out, right?

"Braska?" I asked softly. "Can we rest here for awhile? I can get a fire started so we don't freeze to death."

My uncle chuckled good-naturedly. "Of course, Rikku." He directed his gaze over to Jecht. "I thank you for being so understanding on Jecht's behalf."

I shook my head embarrassedly. "It's just…I know exactly how he feels." I let out a heavy sigh. I've felt the same way about Home. "It's hard to see the only place you've ever truly lived…in shambles."

Braska nodded slowly. "Yes. I can only imagine," he agreed with an all-knowing, sympathetic smile. He glanced once more over at Jecht before taking a seat at the base of the hill. Then he sighed heavily. "The journey has tired me greatly. Would it be bothersome if I were to rest here while-"

"Oh, no! Of course not!" I cut him off, waving my arms in a frantic manner. "I have an idea," I added, reaching over to grab Auron's arm. "We'll go find some wood so we can start a fire, kay?"

Auron surprised me by grunting the affirmative when Braska glanced at him to gauge his response.

"Yes…alright. If you insist," my uncle complied. "But hurry back."

Once Auron and I were out of Braska's earshot, he turned to face me. "I was unaware that gathering wood required two individuals," he stated with a trace of a smirk on his otherwise serious facial expression.

I laughed in spite of myself. "Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't." I turned to face him when I realized he was still staring at me. I cleared my throat, heat rising to my cheeks yet again. "So, uh…thanks again, Auron. For earlier."

"Again, you are welcome," he instantly replied. "I am at ease now that you are safe."

Damn my stupid blush! There's no chance in Spira that he won't notice it!

I took a deep breath, thinking of a good conversation-starter. "So…there's not much more to the pilgrimage, huh. I mean…it's just that I can't believe how fast it all went by, you know? Or at least when I was actually with you guys." My gaze drifted skyward as we kept scouting for possible firewood. "It doesn't seem like that long ago when you found me on the coast of the Moonflow."

Auron nodded in agreement. "Yes, that certainly seems like the case. We have merely had so much that needed to be done…there was never a pressing need to stop and think about all the time that had passed us by." He sighed, crossing his arms. "I should imagine that we will arrive at our final destination by the end of the evening."

I froze. "Y-You mean…I thought…but…we're not going to set up camp for the night?"

He stopped when he realized I was remaining stock-still where I stood. His brow quirked up slightly as he stared at me. "Yes. When we are this close to finally defeating Sin, why should we not make haste?"

My gut clenched painfully, so I had to wrap my shaky arms around myself to alleviate some of the pain. "I guess I just thought that Braska would want one more night with us…to remember everything, you know? To say his goodbyes. And I…"

I needed more time to THINK! More time to plan!! I still didn't completely understand what my mission was…

"You what?" Auron pressed, taking a few steps closer to me. "What is wrong?"

I closed my eyes, shaking my head forcefully in an attempt to clear away all the jumbled, hazy images my thoughts were beginning to transform themselves into. "Nothing's wrong." I let out a shaky breath. "Auron, it's just…I…I'm kinda scared." I looked pleadingly into his eyes and my gut clenched again. "No…I'm really really scared!"

I dropped my chin to my chest as I closed my eyes. It was then when I realized that I had been fighting back tears for the last several hours. The evidence of my losing battle was now slowly trailing down my cheeks. Suddenly, I felt Auron's hand come down on my shoulder, guiding me towards him with a careful tug.

Startled, I opened my eyes to look up at him in question of his actions. With a simple shake of his head, he wrapped his arms around me, gently drawing me to his chest.

That simple gesture - a hug! - was enough to make me feel like the most important, protected, loved person in all of Spira. Hell, I knew I wasn't any of those things - not by a long shot - but for the moment, when I needed it the most, the simple wish was enough to keep me going.

Auron held me steady, shushing me as I whimpered like a baby into his chest. Other than those pacifying noises, he didn't say anything.

So after several comforting moments of being held by strong arms that I wished would always hold and comfort me that way, I took a deep shaky breath and slowly detached myself from him. I looked deep into his eyes, giving him a small, tired smile. His arms were still wrapped around me like a cocoon, his hands resting on my lower back.

"Thanks…" I sniffled again, taking a deep breath to try to calm myself down. "Thank you, Auron."

Auron smiled at me in a way that reached his brown eyes; they were twinkling with an emotion that I couldn't quite read. He nodded, taking a few steps away from me before bending over to pick something up.

My brow furrowed as I wondered what he was doing, but once he turned around, I saw what he was holding and it all made sense. "Firewood," I laughed, wiping away the last of my tears. "Nice work."

He handed me several, lighter pieces of wood, and he proceeded to carry the heavier ones.

How chivalrous, I thought to myself with a smirk.

"We all are, Rikku."

I turned to him with a look of confusion on my face. WHAT!? He just read my mind! The familiar red stain was appearing on my cheeks. "We're all what? I asked, just to be sure.

He gave a small laugh at my dumbfounded expression. "Scared," he put simply.

"Oh."

Duh, Rikku. He can't read minds…right?

"If we weren't…we would not be true guardians," he added calmly. "Please, do not feel as if you are the only one. You aren't."

Our conversation from the cave was slowly drifting its way back into my memory.

---X---

"…to answer your question, there are certain things that I fear."

I leaned a little closer to him, urging him to continue. "Like…?"

"Like…failing to protect the people I care for."

---X---

So Auron was just as human as me, or anyone else for that matter. He just did a better job of hiding it, I figured. I suddenly felt bold as I snuck a peek at his free hand. He was carrying all the wood with his other arm, leaving his right hand hanging uselessly at his side. Biting my lip and clearing all my rational thoughts from my mind, I reached forward and laced my hand within his own.

He side-glanced at me, and to my delight, didn't let go of my hand. If anything, the grip tightened in the slightest way, almost to let me know that he understood, that he felt it too, and that he was there for me.

I just hoped he knew it worked the other way, too.

---X---X---X---X---X---

Braska passed some of the food rations around the campfire as we settled ourselves down for our little break. The only person from our group that was still missing…was Jecht.

At the thought of Tidus' father, my full attention when to the hill. He was still there, only now, he was sitting with his feet dangling over the edge, seemingly debating over something within the safety of his own mind.

Poor guy.

I spared a glance at the "dinner" in my hands, fighting back an unconscious gag. If he was going to mope over there, at least Jecht didn't have to eat whatever "food" was being served to us. It wasn't like I was being ungrateful, or like I was trying to be rude or anything…it just looked disgusting tonight. Not at all appetizing. But maybe part of that reason was because of something else entirely...

Hearing a soft chuckle next to me, I whipped around to glare at Auron. "What is so funny?" I demanded when I noticed he was looking right at me.

"You," he replied easily with another chuckle. My jaw dropped when I heard a few laughs coming from Braska's side of the fire as well.

"It's better than you think it is, Rikku!" Braska laughed, taking a bite of his dinner. "And besides, this may be the last nourishment we have…for quite some time…" he trailed off, smile slowly contorting into a more serious expression again. Then he sighed. "So we may as well enjoy it." He sent another small smile in my direction before digging into his food again - and yet, it was still with more manners than I could ever hope to possess.

"Fine," I muttered before slowly, deliberately bringing the food toward my mouth. With my eyes shut, of course.

This is gonna be so gross!!

"Hey, you're eatin' without me!?"

The food was literally a centimeter from my open mouth when Jecht made his timely entrance, but I removed it as soon as I opened my eyes to look at him.

Jecht was standing at the base of the hill, donning a seriously offended expression on his face. He crossed his arms as he surveyed Braska, Auron and I gathered around the nice warm fire.

"Hey, welcome back!" I exclaimed as enthusiastically as I could. "Here, dinner!" I stood up to give him my dish, which he gratefully accepted. He tore into it only seconds after I handed it to him. "Sheesh, you were hungry," I muttered as I returned to my seat next to Auron.

Jecht spared me a look, letting out a quick belch before continuing his meal.

I laughed in spite of the situation. Jecht was such a little kid at heart. All he needed was some time alone for a little bit to let off some steam…and to think. In fact, that sounded like something I really wanted to do too, but it wasn't like there was time for that. Not anymore.

"I'm sorry for yellin' at ya," Jecht murmured as he dropped his empty dish on the ground. His sad eyes met my own surprised ones. "It wasn't your fault Zanarkand ended up this way."

"And it wasn't your fault, either," Braska pointed out. "You must stop blaming yourself for things you have no control over, Jecht. There is no point for it."

"Yeah," I added, nodding my head encouragingly.

Jecht sighed, shaking his head in exasperation. "Nah, you're right. But that still doesn't change anything. My woman…the little runt…how am I supposed to know what's going on…if anything's even going on?" He sighed again. "For all I know, they could've both died, thinking I up and left 'em."

"I can assure you that they do not believe you abandoned them, Jecht." Auron surprised me with his ability to take on such a reassuring, soothing tone of voice. All to help his friend. "And I am certain they are still alive."

"But that don't matter! There's no going back to my Zanarkand!" Jecht grumbled desperately. "How can there be? Plus, this time tomorrow, the pilgrimage will be done, Sin will be history…" He shook his head again, his lips slowly curving upward. I was seriously confused when he started laughing. "And in spite of all that shit, I can't bring myself to regret being your guardian, Braska!" He turned to face the summoner. "I'm with you to the end. A promise is a promise."

Braska had a small smile of his own gracing his features. "I do not even know where to begin thanking you for all you've sacrificed for my sake, Jecht." He turned his head toward Auron and me. "The same for you two, as well. You have given me unimaginable strength in times that I…I didn't think I could carry on."

"It was our honor, Braska," I said softly. "And we feel the same exact way about you, too."

Auron nodded. There were no other words to explain how we felt.

"Right…well, I believe there are no other guardians I would wish to be at my side when it came time for me to face Sin." My uncle gave each of us reverent nod. Then he stood up, brushing the dirt off his robes. "So on that note…"

"Let's go," Jecht finished the thought, standing up to kick dirt into the fire to put it out.

I couldn't help the icy chill that ran down my spine as I remembered the specifics of my mission.

Two are meant to die.

And one must be saved.

Was I really going to be able to go through with it? Would I stand idly by as I watch Braska give his life?

I wrapped my arms around myself as another onslaught of chills wracked my body.

It was too much like walking straight into quicksand...knowing full-well that it was right there.

---X---X---X---X---X---

A/N:

Again, muchas gracias to EVERYONE reading this story, reviewing, adding it as a fave or whatever else. It really means so much to me to have people enjoying this as much as I enjoy writing it!

Kay, so look for an update towards the end of the weekend…Monday by the latest! =D