Author's Note: I'm almost done with Power Rangers Turbo. After this chapter, I plan on having one more chapter that takes place during Turbo. Then, for KLR (Guest), I will write a chapter that takes place during Dino Thunder. Then, I will have a chapter that takes place after Dino Thunder. Thank you, KLR (Guest), for your reviews and your continued interest in this story. Thank you to everyone else who has reviewed, favorite, and/or followed this story. Tommy and Kat are unfortunately not a popular Power Rangers pairing, so it's always nice to know that there are others beside me that love and support the Tommy and Kat pairing.
Note: This short fic is a missing scene from the beginning of the episode "Passing the Torch Part 1" where we see Tommy and Kat in the jeep together, on their way to go camping with their friends. Kat remarks on Tommy's issue with being late, and Tommy accepts it with good nature. Then, Tommy begins to talk about how beautiful everything is (or something like that) and Kat begins to talk about Justin. However, I feel like more could have been done with the issue of Tommy's lateness, not to mention the fact that it was established since Season 1 of Mighty Morphin' that Tommy also has memory issues. I couldn't help but think that something happened to Tommy during his childhood that caused him to have memory and lateness issues. This is an issue that I also addressed in my other Power Rangers fic "Meaningless." If you haven't read that fic yet, please do so if you don't mind taking a look at a darker, more angst-filled Tommy Oliver. I wanted to explore similar issues from "Meaningless" in "Inner Demons" because I feel like it is realistically possible for Tommy to have suffered a horrible, abusive childhood, and since Tommy and Kat have such a strong relationship I also feel like it is realistically possible for Tommy to feel comfortable enough with Kat to share with her that he was an abused, neglected child.
Note: If you are sensitive to the issue of child abuse and neglect, then you might want to skip this chapter, even though I don't expect to get into too much graphic detail. I just wanted to give all you readers a fair warning that I will be exploring a sensitive topic in this chapter.
Note: The first few lines of dialogue at the beginning of this chapter are words that we actually heard Tommy and Kat speak in the episode "Passing the Torch Part 1" (or at least as close as possible to the actual dialogue). However, the conversation between Tommy and Kat will then take a much different direction than what we saw in the episode.
Note: I am so sorry for the long Author's Note, but I am known to sometimes ramble. For those who have been reading so far, thank you so much. It means so much to me to know that people are actually interested in what I am writing.
"Well, at least you're on time today," Kat smiled teasingly at Tommy from the passenger seat of his jeep. "I'm impressed."
"I'm always on time," Tommy insisted. When he saw the expression on Kat's face, he quickly added, "Well, except for the times I'm late."
Kat, at first, was amused. She loved Tommy loved each other despite all their faults, and one of Tommy's faults was his tendency to either be late for or to completely forget something. Kat didn't mind this too much, though, because she knew that Tommy did not forget to be mean-spirited. Tommy had too much of a good heart for that.
Kat looked at Tommy again and couldn't help but notice that he was looking at every direction but hers. He had been smiling when she had been teasing him but now he looked slightly uncomfortable.
And Tommy was avoiding making eye contact with Kat.
Tommy had to be hiding something from Kat. The only times he refused to make eye contact with her was when he was hiding something.
Kat couldn't help but be concerned. She and Tommy did not keep many secrets from each other because they both knew they could tell the other anything without fear of being judged.
It had to be something really bad for Tommy to want to hide something from Kat.
"Tommy, I didn't hurt your feelings by teasing you about being late, did I?" Kat asked in a worried voice.
"No, no, of course not, Kat," Tommy answered quickly. A little too quickly.
"Tommy, is something wrong?" Kat pressed. Tommy was known to be stubborn at times, but Kat could be just as stubborn when the situation called for it.
"Nothing's wrong, Kat," Tommy smiled with false cheerfulness. "I'm just thinking about camping with Adam, Tanya, and Justin, that's all."
"Tommy, I know when you're lying," Kat said in a tone of voice that made it clear that she wasn't going to let up until she had the answers she wanted.
"You're the only one who knows when I'm lying," Tommy sighed. He was then silent for several moments. Kat looked at him with both a determined and a concerned expression on her face.
Tommy suddenly pulled his jeep off the road and shifted it into park. He took a few deep breaths before looking at Kat.
"Kat," Tommy began, "I know I have apologized before about my lateness and my forgetfulness, but I think I need to apologize again. I don't mean for it to happen, but I'm sorry nevertheless. It's not fair to you, nor is it right."
"Tommy, I know that's not what is really bothering you," Kat said firmly.
"You know me too well, Kat," Tommy managed to smile.
"But evidently not well enough," Kat replied, "because I have no idea what's really bothering you. I just know that it's something serious."
Kat reached out her arm and gently touched Tommy's hand. "Tommy," she said, "I wish you would feel comfortable enough to tell me what's going on because, no matter what, you will always have my love and support. Just like I know I will always have your love and support.
"You have always been there for me, Tommy. Now, let me be there for you. Please. I hate seeing you in such pain."
Tommy looked at Kat for a moment. Then, he looked away. Then, he looked at her again.
"There's a reason for my forgetfulness," Tommy finally said. "It's no secret that I'm adopted."
Kat nodded her head and waited for Tommy to continue.
"But before I was adopted by the Oliver's," Tommy said, "I lived in an orphanage for some time. The orphanage itself wasn't too bad. It was a bit filthy and crowded, and we didn't have many possessions and were disciplined when we misbehaved. But it could have been worse. A lot worse.
"I lived with several foster families before I was finally adopted by the Oliver's. Those foster families, for the most part, weren't that bad. Okay, so there was some drinking, drugs, and other things, but I was pretty much ignored. And I learned quickly how to find food for myself on the streets. So, I wasn't that bad off. Okay, so I was lonely sometimes, but it wasn't really a big deal.
"It didn't really get bad until I was placed with this one foster family. Well, to be technical, it wasn't really a family. It was just a man, a huge man. I was so little back then, and this man was so tall and so muscular that he seemed larger than life. He wasn't hideous looking or anything like that, but there was something about him that scared me. I guess it was his eyes. They also seemed so empty, except when he was angry. And he was angry a lot. At me."
Tommy paused. He suddenly felt like he was choking. He couldn't breathe.
"Tommy, it's okay," Kat said gently in a voice that she hoped would calm Tommy down. "Whatever happened back then, it's in the past. You're safe now. You no longer have anything to fear."
"I know," Tommy breathed. "It's just that I've been keeping all this to myself for so long. I have always been afraid that if I told anyone about my past, they would either not believe me or feel sorry for me. Some people really look down at foster children. Some people really are good at making you feel like it's all your fault."
"Whatever happened to you, Tommy, it was not your fault," Kat said firmly. "Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty for a crime that you did not commit." Kat then grew silent, waiting to see whether or not Tommy would continue.
Tommy looked at Kat for several moments. Her love for him was clearly present in her eyes.
Kat's eyes were so different from his eyes.
"Okay, I'm good now," Tommy finally managed to say. "I might as well get this over with." He smiled weakly at Kat, who squeezed his hand gently in support.
"It seemed like I could do nothing right with my new foster parent," Tommy then continued. "He was always angry at me about something. I looked at him in his eyes and that was rude. I didn't look at him in his eyes and that was rude. I asked him a question and that was rude. I spoke and that was rude. I didn't answer his question and that was rude. Everything I did was rude. I was a bad child, an evil child.
"And I needed to be punished for my own good.
"Sometimes he would just beat me, either with his fists or with whatever object was handy at the moment. He loved to carry a leather strap with him around the house.
"The beatings always left me unconscious. I never knew how long I was out. I just knew that things began to feel like a blur. I didn't know if it was day and night. He had the windows boarded up, and the front and back door were always locked. I guess the windows were boarded up and the doors were locked. I don't remember if they always were.
"There are some things I don't remember. Like what I said or did to set him off. If I said or did anything that could have possibly set him off. I guess I took too many blows to the head."
Kat wanted to cry, but she felt like she had to be strong. For Tommy she had to be strong. For Tommy she could not cry in front of him.
"Sometimes, though," Tommy added, having to continue now that he had begun, "he would decide that he would rather just tie me up and lock me in a small, dark closet. I have no idea how long he would leave me in there. I just know that when he finally let me out I was hungry and thirsty. But I was hungry and thirsty even when I wasn't in the closet, so I guess that doesn't really make that much of a difference.
"He loved to tease me. He would place some food and a glass of water on the table, and he would tell me to help myself. However, the moment I started to walk towards the table, he would grab my throat and squeeze hard. I was surprised that he never choked me to death.
"I sometimes wished that he would choke me to death, just so that it would be over. I wanted it to be over, but he told me that he loved me too much to let me go."
This definitely explained to Kat why Tommy had been so insistent to both her and Kimberly that they follow their dreams and not feel obligated to stay with him. Tommy truly loved her and Kimberly.
When you truly loved someone, you were willing to let them go if it would make them happy.
Even if it left you feeling unhappy.
"He definitely loved little boys like me," Tommy breathed softly. "He loved little boys like me a lot."
Kat had to look away from Tommy. She wasn't naïve. She knew what Tommy was telling her without him having to say it directly.
"One day," Tommy continued, "well, it began like any other day; but one day, I finally managed to escape. I don't remember how. I don't remember how I ended up outside. I just did. Sometimes I really do wish that I had not taken so many blows to the head. Then again, maybe it was for the best. I'm glad that there are some things that I don't remember. I really am.
"I'm rambling now," Tommy laughed nervously. "I don't remember how I escaped, Kat, but I must have escaped somehow because I'm here now with you." Tommy laughed again. Like Kat, though, it was clear that he was struggling not to cry.
"I don't remember much of what happened afterwards," Tommy gasped. "I remember drugs and prostitutes, guns and knives, being chased by the police for stealing food, clothing, and other items I needed to survive. But all that is really just a blur to me, a very confusing blur.
"I do remember, though, that one day there was a police officer I wasn't able to run away from. He really was fast and in great physical shape. And I later learned that he was a skilled martial artist." Tommy laughed. "I guess you could say he was my inspiration to get into martial arts.
"I was so scared. I was afraid that the police officer was going to hurt me. I had been made to believe that I was worthless and that I deserved to be punished. I sometimes wondered if I had done the right thing by running away. I was an evil child, and I had ran away from the one person who was willing to take the time to try to get that 'evil' out of me.
"That police officer, though, was a good man, a very good man. He never threatened me or tried to manipulate me. He always spoke kindly and gently towards me. He really tried his best to understand me. I guess he was somehow able to see what I had been through, and he wanted to try his hardest to set me on a better path.
"He placed me in a juvenile detention center for a short time, but he checked on me regularly to make sure that I wasn't being mistreated or anything like that. And he always made it clear to me that I wasn't there because I had been 'evil.' He just wanted to make sure that I was somewhere safe until he could find a better place for me to live.
"To make a long story short, I eventually ended up being placed with the Oliver's. And they've been wonderful to me, Kat, they really have. Okay, so they're at work a lot and I don't see them that often, but I can find everything I need at their house. I have food, water, clothes, and shelter, everything that I could ever need.
"Life is great now, Kat. I could have been so much worse off than I am now. I don't know why I'm letting all this get to me so much."
"Because you have been hurt more than anyone should ever have to hurt," Kat broke in, "and you have not yet fully healed. I can tell that a part of you still believes that you deserved everything that happened to you, but that's not true, Tommy. You were not an evil child, and you never deserved to be beaten and tortured. You have to believe that, Tommy, because it's the truth."
Kat began to cry, unable to hold back her tears any longer. "I feel so terrible now," she sobbed. "All those times I complained to you about my parents, and I didn't have anything to really complain about."
"No, Kat, don't start with that." Tommy was now crying as well. "Don't ever feel guilty on my behalf. You didn't know. You're now the only one that does know. I didn't even tell that police officer that much about what had happened to me. Oh, Kat, I can't even remember his name. Of all the things that I could possibly forget, I have forgotten the name of the first person to give a damn about me."
Kat embraced Tommy. "It's okay, Tommy," she cried. "Wherever he's at now, he knows that you were grateful for everything that he did for you.
"Oh, Tommy, I wish that I could take away all your pain, but I know that I can't. I can't even begin to understand what all you've been through. All I can do is be amazed by your strength and your ability to be compassionate towards others even though you had never received any compassion yourself. Oh, Tommy, I wish there was more that I could do to help."
"But you are helping me, Kat," Tommy breathed, "by just listening, by just being here. It's true, the pain will never fully go away, but I feel better now just from talking with you. It's like a huge burden has been removed from my heart.
"Thank you for being here for me, Kat."
"I will always be there for you, Tommy," Kat whispered.
Tommy and Kat held each other for several minutes, allowing their tears to fall freely. Then, Tommy pulled himself away. He wiped at his face. Kat began to do the same.
"We should be going," Tommy said, "before Adam, Tanya, and Justin begin to worry about us."
"Yeah, you're right," Kat replied, hoping that her voice sounded at least somewhat normal.
Tommy shifted his jeep into drive and looked up and down the road to make sure that it was clear. He managed to give Kat a somewhat encouraging smile, which she managed to return. Tommy then slowly drove back onto the road.