Carmen followed Shane into the living room and watched her sit on the recliner, watching her hands. The latino could almost feel the nervousness rolling off of the woman as she sat across from her on the couch, deciding it was a safe enough distance so she could control herself.
"So, what did you want to talk about, Shane?" Carmen asked finally, the silence was becoming far too much for her. She was pretty sure what it was, but asked anyway, figuring it would push the slender woman into talking.
Shane's head snapped up and she blinked a few times, she had been lost in her thoughts again. "Oh, shit, yeah, sorry, I spaced there for a moment." She cleared her throat for what seemed like the hundredth time that afternoon and ran a hand through her messy hair. "I wanted to explain things..about what happened before our wedding" Shane said, her voice cracking a bit as she cringed internally.
Carmen nodded, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat "Okay, go on then" She said quietly, her warm chocolate gaze meeting Shane's hazel one. She noticed though, that her eyes were more green, that only happened when Shane was upset, now she knew this was going to be real.
"See..after I came to see you, I went down stairs for a drink and saw my dad with some skanky woman instead of his wife and when I confronted him about it, he told me that I was just like him, that I wouldn't be able to stay with you, I'd end up screwing up, that it wasn't something I could control" Shane said, wringing her hands together. "And I got so scared that I figured leaving the wedding would hurt you less than if we were together and I cheated.." She paused, biting her lip for a moment.
Carmen watched her, her face calm as she processed everything. Shane had thought that leaving her would protect her. It made Carmen feel like crap all over again, though now for a different reason.
"I mean, before we got married and I cheated, it killed us both a little and I just..I couldn't put you through that again and at the time it made sense, so I left and got fucked up to numb the pain, but sometime during that stupidity, I finally managed to figure out that I had made the biggest mistake in my life and when I went to go find you, I crashed a car, walked for a few dozen miles and then got screamed at by your brothers, I don't remember much after that, but some how I managed to get home" Shane said, shrugging her shoulders. She wasn't trying to make Carmen feel bad, she was just telling the truth.
Carmen's eyes were wide as she listened to Shane's story, she shook her head and rubbed her face for a moment before getting up and walking to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and pulled out a few beers before heading back, handing one to Shane, which she took with a half smile.
Shane cracked open her beer and took a grateful gulp, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand "So, I guess that's my story, shall I fall to my knees and start begging for forgiveness?" She asked, with a slightly joking tone, she really didn't expect Carmen to forgive her.
The latino snorted and opened her own beer, rolling her eyes as she took a drink, "You can if you want, it sure as hell would be a funny sight..but you don't have to, I forgive you, I don't know if I can trust you or if things can ever go back to the way they were, but I'm willing to start as friends and see what happens" She said, chewing the inside of her cheek as she looked at the slender woman.
Shane's eyes went wide at Carmen's words as beer slopped onto her grey shirt from the bottle held slack in her hand. "Woah..I didn't see that coming" She said, her voice low as she set the bottle down, wiping at the wet spot on her shirt as Carmen laughed.
She wasn't sure why, but she felt a lot better now that she at least knew why Shane had done it. The fact that the dark haired woman had spilled her drink only added to the feeling as her tinkling laugh bubbled from her lips. Carmen shook her head and looked at her, a smile on her lips.
Shane smiled back, a soft blush spreading across her cheeks as she looked at the woman in front of her. It was so easy to get lost in Carmen's dark gaze, to feel the pull that came from it. It made her stomach do little flips and her heart to thud hard. This is going to be so hard..it's all I can do, not to hop over the coffee table and kiss her.
Carmen pulled her gaze away from Shane's, getting overwhelmed by the feel of it and then stood up, stretching as she feigned a yawn. "I should head to bed soon, I have to work tomorrow, Kit hired me back, so you know..if you want to stop by and see me, feel free" She said, a shy smile playing on her beautiful lips.
Shane nodded, still smiling a bit "Yeah, I will, I'm glad you're back" She said and leaned down without thinking, pressing a soft kiss to the smaller woman's forehead. She pulled away, looking flustered "I'm so.." She didn't get to apologize before Carmen had grabbed her shirt, pulling her forward into a hard kiss.