Chapter 6: Outtakes
"Dean, what's wrong with these?" Sam whined. "It'll keep Gabe from running off during grocery shopping."
"I tell you what's wrong with those!" Dean shouted, scandalized beyond all measure. "They're animal leashes! For children! Who does that shit to children?"
And here, he held Gabriel closer to his chest, as if cradling him away from the horrors of child leashes. Gabriel, on the other hand, stared with interest at the bright strip of cloth dangling from Sam's hands and made futile attempts to grab it with his little arms.
"A lot of people!" Sam countered. "It's better than Gabe getting lost one day! It's a safety measure, Dean!"
"They're my kids now and I am not strapping them up like dogs," Dean said with finality and that ended any argument on the subject of child leashes. He held the small child at arm's length and stared seriously into Gabriel's golden coppery eyes. "I would never do that you, kiddo. Ever. Now, Sammy is gonna take the evil leash away and we can all forget this after years of therapy."
And he squished Gabriel to his chest in a tight hug that left the child confused and Sam huffing in exasperation.
"So you're our mommy," Michael repeated slowly, a very skeptical look on his face.
Castiel's eyebrow twitched as Dean and Sam stood behind him, shaking minutely with barely held in laughter. Adam and Kevin also held their laughter but they were at least discreet about it, hiding it behind a sleeve or a book respectively. The children all sat on the floor in the midst of playing catch with a red rubber ball when Dean had asked who the children would like to call "mom" and "dad" for fun.
"Yes," Castiel replied after a long, very long pause. "You may call me…" And here he winced but manfully swallowed it. "'Mommy'." Lucifer stared at him and then tilted his head in confusion.
"But you're our little brother," Lucifer said blatantly. "How can you be mommy if you're our baby brother?"
"Because Dean is Daddy," Gabriel explained with a roll of his eyes as if it were obvious. "And Dean and Castiel make smoochy faces at each other."
This statement caused Dean to choke and sputter out a response, and Castiel to turn bright red under all of the children's scrutiny. Sam couldn't take it anymore and fell off his chair in laughter. Adam bent double while Kevin buried his face behind his book to hide his chuckles.
"Oh!" Lucifer said, as if Gabriel's logic had made total sense. "I get it now."
"But I like Castiel to be mommy," Raphael volunteered, peeking at Castiel with a small smile on her face.
"But Dean is the one who cooks and cleans like the mommies on tv," Michael countered with a frown. "So shouldn't Dean be mommy?"
Dean squawked as the children honestly pondered this and the rest of the guys roared with laughter.
"He makes a very good point, Dean," Kevin said after his ribs stopped hurting. "You are like our den mother."
"Am not!" Dean retorted childishly.
"But Castiel is very pretty like a mommy," Raphael added in thoughtfully. "He was always the prettiest in the garrison."
Dean snickered and elbowed Castiel. "You hear that Cas? You're the prettiest angel. Heaven's most adorable angel."
Castiel glowered at Dean with his I-am-going-to-smite-you-where-you-stand face but it was tempered by his flushed cheeks.
"How about we take this to a vote?" Adam suggested diplomatically. "All in favor of Dean being mommy, raise your hand!"
Everyone in the room except Castiel and Dean raised their hands while Dean balked and tried to dissuade them. When none of them did, Dean huffed and ignored their grinning faces.
"At least Cas is on my side," Dean muttered and then hooked an arm around him. "You and me against the world right?"
Castiel jumped at the hand around his shoulder and turned to Dean who was smiling at him. A small tentative smile bloomed on his face and Dean swore he never saw anything as pretty. They continued staring deeply into each others' eyes causing all the other occupants in the room to fidget until Lucifer grew tired of the silence.
"Sam," Lucifer whined. "They're doing it again."
"I know, Luce," Sam consoled the poor child, patting him on the back. "Just let your mommy and daddy have their moment."
"Make them stop!" Lucifer stuck out his tongue. "It's gross. They're being gross, Kevin!"
"That they are, my little friend," Kevin nodded sagely.
"Can I throw this then?" Gabriel asked, staring at the bright red ball in his lap.
"No, no throwing balls at mommy and daddy," Adam chided. "But feel free to jump on Dean's kidneys."
Gabriel grinned mischievously and stared at his siblings who all sported knowing grins in reply.
"Yay, I love you, mommy!" Gabriel jumped onto Dean's lap and the rest of the children followed, crawling over each other to seat themselves on Castiel or Dean. Kevin and Adam joined in, squeezing themselves in between Castiel and Dean who yelped.
"What the-," Dean wheezed when Raphael accidentally kicked him in the stomach as she crawled over to Kevin.
"We should take a picture," Sam said all of a sudden, staring at Dean and Castiel. "Preserve the moment you know."
"Dude, could you be any more of a girl about this?" Dean rolled his eyes.
"I think a picture would be nice," Castiel said politely. Dean turned to Cas to protest but then shut his mouth when he saw the look on Castiel's face.
"Yeah, I guess."
"You only agreed to the picture because Cas did," Adam said slyly.
"Shut up, Adam. Kevin, budge over and make room for Sam."
Sam came out with a camera and set it on a bookshelf facing them.
"Okay, we'll set it on a timer and have it take multiple shots," Sam said. "But everyone has to stay very still, alright?"
The children nodded their assent and Sam rushed over as the camera began to blink. Picking Gabriel up, he seated himself in the empty space.
"Damn it, Gabe!" Dean shouted. "Stop moving!" Click.
"Dean, don't swear!" Castiel reprimanded sharply. Click.
"Dude, someone's hand is touching a place where someone's hand should not be touching!" Click.
"C-Can't breathe, b-being smooshed..." Click.
"Kevin, quit shoving your ass in my face!" Click.
"Up yours, Adam!" "Adam said a bad word!" Click.
"Everyone, sit down for Christ's sake!" Click.
"I knew Christ and I don't think he would enjoy his name taken in vain..." Click.
In the end, most of the pictures came out too blurred to be good but one picture of Dean and Sam being tackled by Lucifer and Gabriel while Adam and Kevin tried to pull them off and Castiel holding onto Raphael and Michael was copied and put into everyone's bedroom and the mantle. And one might have or might have not made its way into the windshield of the Impala.
They never have to run credit card scams for money anymore. The Bunker contains a lot of old things that sell for a fortune in the right hands: WWII memorabilia, nonmagical antiques perfectly preserved by the Bunker, copies of books containing lore of the supernatural, etc. It's a relief from living in crappy hotels and eating diner food to stretch out what little money they have left, especially with all the mouths to feed. Housing and utilities are taken care of, though Sam never finds out exactly who's paying the bills since nothing is ever sent to them. He traces their sponsor to an organization called Torchwood stationed all the way in Cardiff and then leaves it at that.
But groceries need to be bought and kids require a lot of money to raise so with Kevin cleaning up the archives, they find a lot of stuff to sell off for their income. And sometimes they find some really cool things.
Dean scrambles in excitedly and holds out something for Sam's perusal. He's been helping out with cleaning the archives with Kevin because he is bored and Castiel took the children to the park.
"Hey, Sammy! Look what I found: mint-condition Captain America cards! The whole set! Someone must've been a collector."
"Great, those will probably sell for a lot. Put them in the box with the other stuff."
Dean holds them to his chest as if cradling a child and stares at Sam with betrayal. Sam stares back, confused.
"Hell no! Do you realize how rare these are? They're Captain America cards! Mint condition! Mint. Condition." Like repeating it with emphasis will obvious impress upon Sam of their worth and value.
Sam cocks an eyebrow while Dean holds the cards defensively and pouts in the way a child would pout. His wounded look has Sam laughing in his head.
"Okay… don't sell them."
Dean's face brightens and he grins like a puppy.
"Sweet!" Dean whoops and races off. "Wait till I show Cas!"
"Dean, I don't think Cas even knows who Captain America is!" Sam calls out but Dean is already gone. He rolls his eyes and chuckles. Dean is such a kid sometimes, rivaling the children in his immaturity. These moments happen more often now that they have everyone under one roof. Dean seems to brighten like the sun with someone to take care of. He always has so Sam is glad for the immaturity.
It starts when Adam can't get his morning coffee from the coffee machine that he can never figure out. Usually Dean is the one who makes breakfasts in the morning because hunter training has set his circadian rhythm to wake up at the crack ass of dawn. Whatever. It just means that Adam gets his breakfast in the morning and heads off to school with a full stomach.
But Dean is off on hunter business investigating a series of disappearances in Maine which leaves Adam to puzzle out the infernal device. He flicks a switch and frowns when there is a lack of response. He checks the plug and then flips another switch.
Kevin tumbles in next, stifling a yawn as he opens the refrigerator to rummage about for the orange juice carton.
"Hey, have you noticed how some of the things in here are way before the Men of Letters' time?" Adam asks in greeting. He frowns as he presses a button and the machine emits an ominous beep. No, that wasn't it.
Kevin mumbles incoherently, still not fully awake. He tips the carton back and drinks the remainder in one go. The carton is set on the counter as he goes for the bread in the bread box and fumbles for the butter.
"I mean it!" Adam continues on, fiddling with a button to try to get the machine to give him his damn coffee. No, that one wasn't it either… "There's memory foam mattresses in every single room, a frequency jammer that stops satellites, and this kitchen is freakin' state of the art! How does that not bother any of you?"
"The Men of Letters were ahead of their time," Kevin shrugs, nibbling on his toast.
"But doesn't it freak you out that they seem to be ages ahead of their time?" Adam says in an eerie voice. Maybe this button then... "Almost like they've got eyes on us right now."
"You're just upset that you can't get your coffee, right?" Kevin smirks as Adam snarls in frustration and pounds the table.
"The stupid coffee machine won't give me my damn coffee!"
"Because that's not the coffee machine. That's the blender."
"Oh."
A/N: Continue or not?
Something to tide you guys over while I finish up the next chapter. Something tells me I won't be able to update very often because university is starting up again which means work and friends to entertain. These are just little pieces I did but didn't have the energy to turn into full chapters.
Would you like more of these? Please review.