Hightail
When Frank woke up lying next to a strange woman, he flew into a state of panic. Sure, he had left his wife, but they were technically still married, and what he had done definitely constituted adultery.
He scrutinised the sleeping woman next to him. Somehow she didn't look so pretty in the daylight. Her eyeliner was smudged, her lipstick garish, her platinum blonde hair revealed ashy-brown roots, and her skin was weathered. She looked 20 in the nightclub, but 35 in real life. He couldn't help but think she lacked his wife's class.
He cautiously disentangled himself from her, being careful not to wake her up. He hastily pulled on his clothes, and rummaged around the house for pen and paper. Finding a pen and some post-its, he hastily scribbled a clichéd apology and stuck the post-it on the stranger's bedside table. Grabbing his wallet, he hightailed of her house.
Reaching the motel, and feeling extremely guilty, he felt a sudden yearning for his wife. Maybe he could give her one more round of IVF. Make it an even number. Maybe four times would be the new three times the charm. After all, Lily had always been loyal and faithful, she had never asked for anything else except a child. He dialled her number.
"Lily?" he said cautiously, unsure of how she would react.
"Oh Frank! I'm so glad you called, I was just about to call you!" she exclaimed. Frank sighed with relief that his wife sounded friendly.
"I talked to my best friend Pheebs, and she told me we should work it out! I mean, c'mon, we're Frank and Lily, nothing is so terrible that we can't work it out!" Lily exclaimed.
That's not exactly true; Frank thought guiltily to himself, as flashes of his dirty cheating sex came to mind.
"Look honey, if you don't want to do another round of IVF, I understand," Lily said, when she sensed Frank's silent anxiety on the other end of the line.
"No no honey, we'll do another round of IVF. In fact, we'll do as many as it takes to get you pregnant. You're gonna be a mom, honey, no matter how much time and money it takes. I'll beg, steal or borrow to make this happen," Frank interjected guiltily.
Maybe if I give her a baby, this guilt will wash away; he thought desperately to himself.
"Oh my God, Frank, really? Oh Frank, I have a feeling this time round we'll get lucky, I have a feeling! Come home now, Frank, and let's forget about all this breaking up nonsense!" Lily exclaimed.
Frank reached into his pockets to put his wedding ring back on for Lily. His face blanched, when he found that his pockets were empty. Oh God. Where's my wedding ring? Shit!