I couldn't breathe. Air came through my lips in short, panicked gasps. My chest felt as if it was caving in on itself.
"Ian, I think he saw your eyes," I said quietly, hysteria edging its way into my voice; the only thing I could think about was that small, deadly pill sitting at the bottom of his pocket.
Then, without warning, Matthew continued to drive. The bright lights of his sedan sprinted off into the distance almost as quickly as they appeared.
"Wanda," Ian started, his voice surprisingly calm, "I need you to pull over, honey." I only noticed how terribly my hands were trembling with his strong, steady hands next to them. I gently pulled over and put the car in park. Ian and I switched places.
"Okay love, I need you to go wake up Melanie and Jared. I know what he's probably going to say, but we should talk this over with them. I'm going to turn the van around," Ian said in a soft, composed tone. I could only weakly nod, crawling into the back.
I moved quietly, trying not to wake Jamie. Melanie lay cuddled against Jared, both of them fast asleep. Jared's face was completely relaxed but for a small smile that lazily turned up at the corner of his mouth. The remnants of my past life in Melanie's body stirred within me, and I felt a weak pang of longing to be the one Jared held close. To feel he strong, sun kissed arms wrap their way around my waist. My body rejected the thought as soon as it had entered my mind. This host belonged to Ian. I belonged to Ian. Nothing could change that.
"Mel," I said quietly, gently patting her hand, "Mel, wake up. Something happened."
"What...?" She said groggily, her eyes fluttering open.
"We ran into some trouble," I whispered as Melanie started to sit up. Jared stirred besides her.
"What trouble?" Jared said without missing a beat. He was strangely alert for just waking up.
"The soul from earlier today... we were driving and he came up from behind us. He had his brights on and the lights reflected in the mirror. I think he saw Ian's eyes. Then he locked eyes with me and kept driving as if nothing was amiss... but I know he saw Ian. I don't understand. He didn't even look scared at seeing a human.. or surprised.. he just kept going..." I finally finished. Melanie and Jared were now awake, their complete attention taking in what I had just said.
"We need to get off this highway. Find an entirely different route. I don't like this, not one bit. He's got to be a seeker. Nothing else could explain what happened." Jared said quickly.
"Already got that covered, Howe," Ian responded from the front. Jared gave Mel one more gently squeeze before disentangling his arms and climbing to the passenger seat to discuss the route with Ian. The talked in hushed tones and I could barely hear what they were saying.
"Wanda you need to calm down," Mel finally said.
"I don't like this Mel... that soul isn't like other souls. He doesn't strike me as a Seeker at all..." I thought out loud.
"It's nothing we can't handle," Mel bounced back, "Jared knows what he's doing and Ian is the most careful person I know. We just lay low for a few days and everything is going to be okay." With that Mel pulled me into a hug and patted my hair soothingly. I just tried to focus on breathing.
The next few days were nerve wracking. We had been heading north east towards Montana and planned on working through a series of smaller towns there. Jared decided it was best to completely switch gears and head straight west from where we were after going back to get the moving truck. It was about 2 or 3 days before we stopped at another store somewhere in Oregon.
I was jumpier now in the stores, trying as hard as possible to avoid unnecessary conversation. Matthew was fresh on my mind. At night when I tried to fall asleep I would see his strange, frightening smile behind my eyes. I knew that I shouldn't be afraid of him. He was a soul; as a general rule souls were caring, gentle beings. But there was something that wasn't really right about him.
Things were finally getting back to normal, or at least as normal as life was when we were on a raid. It was a week and a half later when normal ceased to exist.
I pulled the car into the mall parking lot. Today I was going to pick up extra clothes from the department store. Ian, Jamie, Melanie, and Jared were all hiding out in the back seat, as usual. I hopped out of the car and started walking across the lot. I started as an old fashioned police car from human times stopped in front of me. Seekers.
The man driving the car smiled warmly and gestured for me to cross the street. I did my best to smile back and went along my way. My small heart beat more quickly. I didn't like how close the seekers were to the vehicle. I glanced back at the van nervously. No, I didn't need to go back. The seekers were just driving by. It's not like Mel, Jared, Jamie or Ian was planning on going anywhere, The seekers had absolutely no reason to be suspicious of the van.
I entered the store and brushed by the many mannequins and displays that called for my attention. I grabbed a small cart and started to find clothes that were both generic enough that anyone could wear them but also attractive enough that someone might actually want to wear them. I was right in the middle of men's section picking up extra t-shirts when that unforgettable voice reached my ears.
"Hello Crystal... or should I say Pet," he said smoothly. I whirled around in surprise, frozen in my tracks. He let out a short, bitter laugh. This wasn't right. Never had I ever seen a soul behave so... human. His emotions contained undertones of anger that I could not understand.
"Now don't look at me like that, darling. We're old friends, now don't you remember?" he said coyly, his dark eyes shining shamelessly. It was the onyx eyes paired with that ridiculous grin staring so intently upon me that finally tripped my memory. Or should I say memories. There were dozens of them. Memories of a small boy who had never quite fit in with the other souls, a boy with a striking face and relentless eyes.
"Pet, Pet look! Look what I got!" the small boy cried excitedly. I turned around to see what all the fuss was about. The sunshine was glimmering through the green park. I stood next to a colorful playground where all the other children played.
I realized this was a memory from Pet's childhood. The memory was so old and long ago to this host that the details were difficult to see, the memory almost seemed fuzzy around the edges. Pet was very young, maybe only 5 or 6 Earth years old. The memory pulled me back in.
"What, Matthew?" I said hesitantly.
"I found an earthworm!" he showed proudly, holding up the wrinkled, squirming critter.
"It doesn't look very happy..." I said gently, "Maybe you should put it back..."
"No, it's mine," he said defensively, wrath creeping into his voice. I was taken aback at the intensity of his emotions. Matthew wasn't being very nice. Even in a host so young, acting like that wasn't excusable.
"Well alright then..." I trailed off, not quite sure what to do. I didn't like his anger. It scared me. I moved to turn around.
"HEY! Where are you going?!" he yelled.
"To that bench over there. You can join me if you want," I replied, even though I wasn't sure if I actually wanted him there. Matthew was acting strange.
"I don't want to. You stay here," he demanded, still holding the worm. My eyes widened in surprise at the emotion in his tone but I stayed put.
"You're squishing the worm..." I noted worriedly, "You shouldn't hold it so tight"
"What, like this?" he taunted, holding the worm up to eye level and squeezing it between his grubby hands. Without warning the worm broke into two and stopped moving. Satisfaction glinted in his black eyes as he watched me react.
My mouth fell open in shock, tears stinging my eyes, and a wave of sadness swept over me. Why did he do that? He killed that poor, little worm. I turned around and started stumbling towards to teacher.
"That's just life, Pet," he called out as I ran the other direction.
"... Matthew?" I finally gasped, being pulled out of the memory. Even now, this host reacted strongly to the memory. It was so vivid and cruel and unlike anything else these eyes had seen up to that point, Pet had been horrified that a soul could act like that. And with good reason. I could not make sense of the behavior.
"That's right, Pet. My, it has been awhile," he cooed, "You disappeared from me for so long..." His hand reached out to touch my face. I instinctively took a step back.
"You vanished all those years ago," I said matter of factly, pulling from the recently recalled memories that had finally connected childhood Matthew to this frightening soul before me. Pet had no memories of this man.
"Sure, I vanished. Everyone was so worried about me, they thought that this host was defective. They wanted to get me away from all the other souls whose hosts were still children. So I told them what they wanted to hear, anything to get all the Comforters and Teachers to let me go. You may not have seen me, Pet, but I saw you. That is, until you disappeared a few months ago. Your mother was so worried..." he said, gauging my reaction.
Cloud Spinner. A pang of sadness hit my body, missing the mother I had never known. The sadness mixed in with the absolute confusion of what was happening. None of this made sense.
"You... you lied to the Comforters and Teachers...?" I choked out, changing the subject.
"Of course I did, silly," he said playfully, "What's wrong with that? Anything to get back to you." This was not okay. Souls did not lie. The glimmer in Matthew's eyes that were so fixated on me contradicted everything about how he acted. There was something seriously wrong with this dark character from Pet's past.
"Now what I want to know is who your little friend is," he said dangerously, taking a step closer to me. I froze in terror as he lifted his hand to cup my face.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I whispered flatly.
"Oh don't play this game with me Pet... You knew you couldn't hide from me forever. I want to know how you found that human," he taunted.
A cold, crushing vice seemed to be closing around my heart. He had seen Ian. I took a small step back. Anything to get away from this inexplicable monster.
"Now where do you think you're going, darling? Hmm? I've already called Cloud Spinner and told her everything. And the seekers too. I told them about your human..." He drawled, a cruel smile twisted on his lips. The world around me felt like it was crashing down. No. It couldn't be.
"You know I won't let you leave me," he said viciously. Then his hand slipped down to my shoulder and grasped tightly around my upper arm. Adrenaline shot through my body.
Matthew may have been a soul, but no amount of logic could reconcile the way he was acting. This soul went against everything I knew, a living contradiction. In that moment I realized that even if he was a soul, that didn't make him safe. There was something very wrong with him. It was fight or flight the second his hand grabbed me. Matthew was threatening the thing I loved most and I was going to fight back.
In a split second I jerked my knee forward to kick the cart I had been pushing. It moved between Matthew and I. I didn't kick it hard enough to hurt him, just enough to catch him by surprise. It was just that half second of surprise I needed to yank my arm away from his grasp and take off running. I just didn't know where.
Then it hit me. The Seekers in the parking lot. Soul or not, Matthew had made a move against another Soul. That was not the nature of my species. The Seekers would be on my side if they saw how Matthew was behaving. Something was wrong with him. That much I knew. The Seekers could help me.
I headed right to the door I had come from. His heavy footsteps sounded behind me. I pushed myself to run faster, knowing that I could only go like this for so long. Pet had never been a runner like Melanie. I knew I couldn't outrun him, I just needed to find help before he found me.
I burst outside through the doors and saw the Seekers' car parked all the way on the other side of the parking lot. It was too far. I couldn't make it.
"Help!" I cried in a panic, running towards the Seekers anyway. They were my only chance of getting rid of Matthew without dragging the humans I loved into this. I had to protect Ian and Jamie and Mel and Jared. I never thought this day would come. I locked eyes with the male seeker who sat in the driver's seat. Concerned flashed in his eyes and he moved to get out of the car.
All of a sudden something large flew into my legs and I toppled over. My hands instinctively reached out to catch my fall. I felt a sharp sting in my palms as they hit the asphalt. Matthew had thrown himself at me and was now wrapped around my legs.
"WANDA!" cried a heartbreakingly familiar voice followed by heavy footsteps. No. NO. Not now. What was he doing?!
I tried to crawl away but Matthew completely overpowered me. He climbed up quickly and pinned me down. I couldn't breathe underneath his weight on top of me. I struggled to get up but his large hand clapped over my face and smashed my head into the ground. A burst of pain consumed my mind and a mangled cry of distress escaped my lips. I felt warm liquid spewing from my head and soaking into my hair. Blood. All of a sudden the weight was removed and I gasped wildly, allowing oxygen into my burning lungs.
"Get AWAY from her!" he roared furiously. I twisted my head to see him throwing a heavy fist at Matthew who consequently doubled over. I heard two more sets of footsteps rushing towards us. I moved to get up, my head spinning as I fought to get to my feet.
"Behind you!" I cried hysterically. The devastatingly handsome man spun around to see the seekers fast approaching, bright headlights shining in front of them. The setting sun made it clear that there were only two reflections bouncing back for the three people present. Ian looked to me and reached into his pocket. Tears were streaking down his face.
"I'm sorry, Wanda. I'm so, so sorry. I love you so much," He sobbed and then lifted his hand to his mouth, his brilliant, reflectionless sapphire eyes filled with despair.
"NO!" I cried. Then two things happened at once. I heavy thump resounded off my skull and my head exploded. I saw stars and everything sounded like it was at the end of a tunnel. I felt myself falling and hit the ground. Everything hurt. It was immediately followed by a loud, sharp crack that seemed to tear the sky itself apart. My eyes darted up to see Matthew standing above me, his hellish eyes blazing victoriously.
In my last seconds of consciousness I watched the man I love crumple to the ground. In the background I heard the voices of the seekers.
"Put your hands up!" one of the men commanded.
"Ian, no! NO!" I sobbed. Then everything faded into black as I slipped out of consciousness.