Thanks for the reviews! This next chapter gives you some insight into Lizzy's state of mind. I hope you like it! Keep in mind that she still isn't quite sure why Mr. Darcy married her, she is not aware of his feelings yet. She cannot confine in a man she barely knows. They both have their own unique prides to them.
He startled awake when he heard her moans. They were still in the carriage, sitting next to each other, her head against his shoulder. She was twisting and turning, moaning in her sleep. He watched her eyelids twitch, she was having a nightmare it seemed.
She was running through the woods. The path was long forgotten. She could hear him cackling behind her.
"Run all you want my dear, proper ladies never outrun a proper gentlemen" He taunted. A giant toad appeared in her path, with the face of Mr. Collins. She screamed and skidded to a halt. She fell from stopping so suddenly, and landed in a puddle of mud. The giant toad was fast approaching.
"No, please" She heard herself begging. He approached faster. With a giant webbed hand, he reached out and smacked her, knocking her back into the puddle. The puddle was deeper now, she was drowning in the mud.
"Please, help" She begged. A figure appeared in the darkness. As if in a fairytale, a knight in shining white armor appeared. He drew his sword and challenged the toad.
The toad stuck out his tongue, which pink and metallic She could see the sharpness of it from her spot in the mud. The white knight parried and slashed, but the pink tongue kept the white knight at bay.
After several bad cuts, the knight fell to the ground. The toad smirked, bringing his pink tongue back into his odious mouth. He leered at her, drowning in the mud.
"No one can save you now my dear" He whispered. The toad picked up the white knight's sword, and held it above his head. "It was stupid of him to try and save you. You are mine, you will always be mine!" The toad drove the sword down in the knight. He cringed, and turned to her. He unmasked himself, letting the metal helmet roll away.
"Elizabeth!" He called.
Blood dripped from his mouth.
"Elizabeth!" The voice sounded urgent.
The mud was shaking. The knight turned his impossibly blue eyes to her.
"Elizabeth!" The voice called again.
She jerked awake, almost knocking herself off of the bench. For a moment she felt the strong hand holding her tightly, and she fought. She whimpered and scratched, until he spoke, calming her.
"It's okay, Elizabeth, calm down. You're okay. He cannot hurt you anymore," Mr. Darcy whispered against her hair. She sagged in his arms. Her breath was ragged, and tears threatened to fall.
Stupid, it was stupid to fall asleep. She was embarrassed that Mr. Darcy was now privy to her most secret of secrets.
"I'm sorry" She whispered. She pulled away from his grip and moved to his former seat across from the bench they had sitting on.
"You have nothing to be sorry for Elizabeth" He whispered. She put her head against the window, refusing to look at him. She could not bear to see anymore pity from Mr. Darcy, she had seen it enough.
They continued the rest of the journey in silence.
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It took half a day to get to Pemberely, they arrived well past midnight. Elizabeth swayed on her feet as he helped her from the carriage. He quickly steadied her.
"Are you alright? Are you faint?" He asked, concerned.
"I am fine, just a spell" She told him, still not meeting his eyes.
"Are you hungry?" He asked. She shook her head no. She had not eaten at all in his presence. She had refused to speak with him about her nightmare. He was worried.
"Everyone shall be asleep by now. But tomorrow you will meet Georgiana, my sister, and Mrs. Reynolds, the housekeeper. For now, we shall just retire to sleep" Lizzy felt her heart racing. She knew what the martial bed meant. Her mother had told her, and she was petrified. Every time someone touched her, she thought of him, of his slimy hands groping about. She was shaking by the time they reached the doors to the master and mistress's chambers. He opened the door for her, and showed her inside.
"It was decorated after my mother passed away. If you do not like anything, it can be changed."
"It's lovely" She replied. The walls were a pale green color with darker greens and browns. The woodwork was simply stunning. It had a luxurious yet simple feel to it.
"Elizabeth, this is Mira" Darcy told her. Mira was a young girl, probably a year younger then Lizzy herself. She curtsied. "She will be your personal maid"
"Pleasure to meet you" Lizzy murmured. "Thank you Mr. Darcy" She told him. He nodded.
"You are welcome" He replied. He turned and went to his own chambers. Mrs. Bennet had told her this would happen, that later, after her maid was dismissed and she was dressed for bed, he would return.
"Such a lovely gown" Mira told her, unlacing the stays. Lizzy made a noise in assent. Mira had pulled out another beautiful white night gown. Lizzy had never seen it before. It fit quite well, and was so soft. Mira held out a matching dressing gown, made of the same silken material. She then took out the elaborate hairstyle Mrs. Bennet had insisted upon, deftly braiding her long brown hair into a plate.
"Is there anything else you will be needing ma'am?" She asked. Lizzy shook her head.
"No, I thank you" Lizzy replied. Mira left, curtsying at the door.
Lizzy was at a loss of what to do now. She sat upon the ornate vanity seat, and looked through the drawers. On the top of the vanity sat an ornate silver brush set. Inlaid with emeralds, and what appeared to be sapphires, they had a beautiful rose pattern etched along the jewels. She noticed with a slight shock that they bore her new initials, ED. Having seen the brushes, she wandered about the room, wondering what else was there.
She found dozens of new things amongst her old ones. She was struck at the great lengths that Mr. Darcy had apparently gone through to ensure her comfort. Feeling faint, she stumbled into her new bed, and promptly began to sob.
A door away, in his Masters chambers, Mr. Darcy was pacing the floor. He was unsure as of what to do. He knew that he would not consummate their marriage tonight; she was in no condition to do so. He was aware however, that mothers usually told their daughters what to expect on the marriage night, such as their husbands arriving at their doors. He did not want to insult her either.
So he decided to speak with her instead. But first, he would need some help from the kitchens.
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Armed with a tray of hot chocolate, and pastries, he knocked quietly on her door.
"Enter" He heard her say. Her voice sounded different. He opened the door and immediately noticed her tears. She had been crying, again. She was sitting upon her bed, dressed in a beautiful white night dress, looking absolutely terrified. Her expression went from terrified, to mildly fearful and confused as she noted his tray.
"Mr. Darcy" She stood and smoothed out her nightdress.
"Elizabeth" He nodded. "You may call me Fitzwilliam, or William, anything but Mr. Darcy, please," He begged.
"Alright" She whispered. She was confused as to why he was here with food. Was this part of the marriage bed?
"Shall we sit in the sitting room?" He asked, gesturing to a door. She nodded and allowed him to lead her to the hidden room. It was papered in gold and cream, with several plush cream settees. He placed his tray upon the table, and motioned for her to sit.
"Elizabeth, you have not eaten anything all day. Please, eat something, I beg you" He held out a pastry for her. It looked to be raspberry. She was reminded of that day, two weeks ago, when he had asked her to eat the very same thing. She learned later that she had probably been in shock, that the sugar in the pastry would have helped her regain her senses.
"I am not hungry, thank you Mr. Darcy" She replied.
"Humor me Elizabeth" He asked.
"I am not a fan of raspberry," She told him. He seemed to wince. He plucked up another from the tray.
"Lemon cake?" He asked. He tried several more variations before she finally caved and took a small bite from an apple tart. She was surprised to find that the flavors had returned to her. She polished off the tart before taking a small sip from her hot chocolate, something that was considered a delicacy at Longbourne.
"I am confused as to why you are here Mr. Darcy" She stated when she could take the silence no longer. "Is it custom to eat before consummating a marriage?" She asked. She noticed that he colored slightly. She was sure that her own cheeks were quite red by now.
"Elizabeth, I do not wish to consummate our marriage tonight" He told her. She felt something akin to relief, and sadness in his statement. He reached forward and grabbed her hands in his own. "You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you," He whispered.
She gasped at his words. He could not gauge her reaction, so he continued.
"I am aware that you do not return the sentiments, but I want you to know that I do love you, most ardently, and that I shall endeavor to make you as happy as possible, starting with getting you back to the person I met in Hertfordshire. I will not hurt you further by forcing myself upon you Elizabeth" He told her. She had tears in her eyes. "Do not cry Elizabeth, please," He begged. He was utter rubbish with crying women.
"I am sorry, I cannot help it," She told him. "I admit, I do not known what my feeling for you are, we are strangers in most aspects of our lives. I do believe that I could love you someday." She whispered. And for now, it was enough.