Ok, so I know there still German gramatical errors on the first two chapters, but they are better. Thanks for putting up with that. I really am trying. ANYWAY, in this chapter we are going to see Kurt's religious side. PLEASE DON'T FLAME ME FOR THAT!! I will be fairly upset if I get flames about his faith. In the original w-men, he was a very religious man, so I am playing on that. If you feel the need to flame me, do because of my writing or bad grammer or something like that. Please don't be a jerk about the faith, dude!

OK, so now that I got that off my chest, thanks for all of the reviews and thanks to dvid0703 for all of his help. I know I have still made some mistakes, but you alone have made the German portion better!

Disclaimer: I don't own x-men yadda, yadda, yadda...

Warnings: Same as always

OK, GO!!

"You search much deeper within
Than the way things appear
You're looking into my heart"

-Heart of Worship

Kurt sat with his back against the door for a long while. His back was beginning to hurt so he moved on to his balcony railing to look at the stars. It still amazed him all the beauty there was in God's world. Now there was someone he knew he could count on!

There was another knock on his door. I told you to leave me alone, Kitty, he thought, tears beginning to form again. All he could think of was the pain he felt when she said that one sentence. 'Like, you're a blue and furry demon monster!!' He made no movement to the door. Ignoring her would work best.

And what about your concerned professor? Came a voice in his mind.

Kurt couldn't help but smile to himself. The one person he felt he could talk to about this had come to see him. The professor never let him down. Come in, kluger.

The door opened and the familiar hum of Xavier's wheelchair reached Kurt's ears. "I am flattered, Kurt, but I don't think I would refer to myself as 'wise'.

Kurt gave him a small smile. "I do."

The professor smiled back. He looked back at the destruction he had passed on his way to the balcony. "What have you been doing, Kurt?" he asked kindly.

"Thinking," he said, "well, after that anyway." He pointed toward the mess with his deformed hand, before staring at the appendage.

Charles looked back at him with concern as the boy studied his hand. "About what?"

Kurt gazed back up at the stars. "Gott," he said, "but you probably already knew that."

"Kurt, you know I don't go into people's minds without their permission," said Xavier. "What about God? Are you angry with him?"

"No," said Kurt calmly, "I stopped blaming God for what I am a long time ago." Charles sat quietly and waited for the boy to continue. He needed to vent and needed someone patient enough to wait for him to be ready. Soon, Kurt continued. "I used to blame God for what my life was after…the incident…. I would say how he was picking on me, how he must have hated me. I cried so often then, worrying what was going to happen next and worrying I wasn't going to be strong enough to get through it."

"What happened?"

"Mein Mutter," he said. "One night, she sat me down and spoke with me about what happened. I thought that when I told her what I was thinking she was going to get angry with me, being a strict catholic and all, but she didn't. She gave me a hug and told me her favorite quote; 'you were only given this life because you're strong enough to live it.'

"I got a little upset with her and asked what I had done to deserve what happened, how there could be such evil in a world He created. She told me a story about a professor. He was trying to convince his class that since God created everything, he created evil and therefore, God was evil. A student got up and asked him questions. The first asked if cold existed. When the professor said yes, the student replied that no, it didn't. Cold is the absence of heat. Then he asked if darkness existed. The professor once again answered ja, but the student said, no, darkness is the absence of light. Finally, the student asked if evil existed, the professor thinking he knew the answer, again answered yes. The student told him he was wrong. Just as darkness is the absence of light and cold is the absence of heat, evil was the absence of God's love in a man's heart.

"After that, I began to understand and grow in mein faith. I came to realize that God will always love me no matter what I look like."

"That is very true."

"God is all-seeing and like the stars. Even when you can't see them, you know they will always be there. I just wish friends were like that."

"What do you mean, Kurt?" Xavier was confused by the last comment.

"I mean people will always change their opinion of you based on what you look like." Kurt turned his gaze to the professor who could now see the tears in his eyes. "Most people will never know anything beyond what they see with their own two eyes. The others will always appear more normal than me to others, and I will always be abnormal to the x-men, too."

"I don't want to condone what they said, Kurt, but maybe they just don't understand," said Xavier, touching his fingertips together. "They have never had to go through what you have gone through. If you would allow me to show them the memories…"

"No," Kurt interrupted quietly and as politely sounding as an interruption can, "I don't want them to pity me."

"Pity and understanding come hand in hand, Kurt. It's called empathy."

"I still don't want to show them," he said closing his eyes. "I don't even want to think about it."

"You've been having nightmares," he said gravely.

Kurt hesitated before answering. "Ja."

"How far does it get?"

"I've been waking up before he even shows up," said Kurt as a small shiver ran down his spine.

"Kurt, I know it scares you, but think over what I said about sharing the memory with your friends. You trust them with your future, so trust them with your past."

The professor began to leave. "Kurt, who was the student in your story?"

Kurt smiled. "Albert Einstein."

Kurt rested his arms on his knees and his chin on his arms, the tip his tail moving slowly from side to side as it hung sadly. He heard his door close behind the professor and decided to call it a night. He teleported to his dresser, avoiding the sharp glass, got dressed and got into bed before falling into the darkness of sleep.

Sorry about it being short, I'll make up for it in the next one, I promise!

Translation

kluger- wise one