Chapter Three

Miley.

I'd grown up to endure pain.

The emotional pain was always with me I suppose, whenever I walked down a street and looked up to the sky, whenever I heard a siren or even heard something smash it hurt me. Physically though I'd never really experienced this amount of pain, other than the self-inflicted wounds when I was in my teenage years. I'd grown out of that phase though when my aunt realized why I was spending so much time alone in the bathroom. I knew pain, I understood what to expect by it's presence. Essentially it was my one and only true companion that never seemed to leave.

"Need some help?"

I looked over at Jase whose eyes weren't even watching me but were lost in some article in the morning paper, but clearly he'd heard my jumpy movements. I shook my head huffing as I struggled to push my body into a sitting position, it was like trying to move a brick, there was only so far I could move before I tipped. One bullet got my left shoulder while the other scraped the right side of my rib cage, but thankfully no permanent damage. I sighed in relief finally comfortable as I crossed my legs looking over at my uncle.

"No I don't, see I can do it myself…"

"Hmmm, thought so." He muttered with a hint of tone evident.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Jason dropped the paper onto his lap staring at me, "It means that you never ask for help when you need it, you always bite off more than you can chew Miley…" He announced looking at me with a down casting glare,

"No I-"

"Miley you're sitting in a hospital bed."

"What has that got to do with anything?" I spat annoyed

Jason looked at me giving a sigh putting the paper on the table. He'd been here from the second I arrived half unconscious in the ambulance and hadn't left since, even when I went into surgery last night he stayed. I was pretty sure Jason hadn't even slept; then again I was so out of it last night I wouldn't have noticed if there was a giant clown juggling bowling balls alongside me. Amy on the other hand had fallen into it's grasp on the other side of the room, her fingers still holding my hand when I came too.

"It means that you took on the case by yourself, this is why I didn't want you to do it in the first place Miley." He announced seriously as I frowned, was he really about to start this argument with me?

"You wanted me to do it, you said-"

"I said in the meeting that you were qualified I never said-"

"Are you suggesting I'm a bad cop?"

"No, you're a fantastic cop Miley," He stated seriously letting out a sigh, "You are highly skilled and great in certain environments. I'm saying you're not meant to work in a field environment-"

"But that's what I've always-"

"Wanted, I know that okay." Jason stated standing up and moving over the bed as he looked at me unsure, "I just don't think you're cut out to do cases likes that, you don't work well when it comes to relying on other people which caused you to end up in here."

I stared at him insulted, "What the hell? No it-"

"Miley I haven't seen you in a month before the other day, you took on the persona and you did everything right but never did you try and reach out, ask questions, get help." Jason stated looking at me like my dad used to when he was mad at me, "You have never asked for help with anything."

"Are you suggesting what I think you are?"

He just looked at me, "Well if you managed to bring them into it without me even mentioning it then clearly you are guilty about-"

"Don't you dare bring them up, they have nothing to do with this Jason!"

"God Miley I wasn't going to! But now you-"

"Don't even start Jason!" I blew up,

"You aren't your parents Miley, you aren't meant to be a field officer! Hell I'm not sure you're even meant to be a cop! You think you're some super hero but you can't just save the world on your own. Last night the second everyone was there you should have left, yet you went back to Chris! Why? Why the hell did you do that Miley? He was a dangerous person and you were almost killed because of your poor misjudgment."

I just stared at him shocked, after all I'd done he was saying this?

"I wasn't told by Nick that I had to-"

"Don't you have a brain?" He yelled at me, "Can't you think for yourself?"

"So what it's my fault I got shot?" I felt myself yell.

"No, well yes, your choices could have lead to different circumstances."

"I could have been dead, with them instead." I retorted almost cheerfully.

That shut him up.

I turned looking at my uncle who just stared at me looking scared for one of the first times in his life, and I'd made him feel like that. "Miley that's not what I meant…"

"Then what do you mean Jason?" I stated my voice rising, "Because right now it seems that you think I just have a complete lack of judgment…"

"Miley you're my niece, I worry about you." He whispered.

"I'm fine, the doctor said-"

"This isn't about the you getting shot for God's sake Miley!"

"Then-"

"Stop it both of you." A new voice murmured.

We both turned as I noted my aunt sitting there staring at me her lip quivering. "Miley you mean everything to us, don't you see that?" She asked as I just stared at her smudged make up and long black hair, "I don't know why you're doing this, I just don't understand and I've tried so hard but I can't accept this and neither will your uncle."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm terminating your position as a probationary officer."

My head spun to stare at my uncle who was looking away,

"What?" I murmured, "What do you-"

"You aren't going to be apart the police any more Miley."

The anger was instant as I felt a rush of emotion hit me, "What? You can't decide that!" I felt myself yell, "I trained to be a cop, my life that's all I ever wanted since-"

"Billy and Tish died." My uncle spat glaring at me.

"Stop bringing them into this, they're dead that don't have a say in-"

"Then why are you trying to become them?" My aunt announced as I turned and looked at her feeling breathless, my chest aching, "After seeing what happened to them, why would you want this life Miley? What happened to the little girl who wanted to be a teacher, who used to pick flowers and-"

"She died the day my parents were murdered." I yelled at her.

It was at that moment my aunt burst into tears yet I couldn't stop, I felt so mad and angry. "You are never getting that little girl back, so stop trying to make me into someone I'm not! I want to be a cop! I want to be like them, what's so wrong with that? What's wrong with me wanting to hold onto them?"

"Because they're dead Miley, you can't hold onto them anymore."

I looked at my uncle furiously, "You have no idea what this is like for me!" I screamed the first tears falling, "You have no idea! So stop trying to understand! You have no right to take this away from me-"

"I'm your boss Miley I have every fucking right to fire you." He yelled standing up, his index finger firing out towards me, "You aren't suitable, you aren't stable, you aren't capable and hell you're not your god damn parents. So stop telling us this bullshit and face the facts you can't live in the past, you can't become them in the future, you can't keep doing this because you need to move on Miley. You are holding all of us back from moving on!"

"THEN LEAVE!" I screamed, "JUST LEAVE! I hate you!"

It was only then that my heart monitor started beeping and I realized how much pain was washing over me. I slumped back onto the bed feeling feint as instantly my aunt and uncle were beside me terrified,

"Miley? Miley what's wrong, what's happening, Miley?"

"Miley?"

The door flung open as I cried seeing a blur of a nurse and doctor,

"What did you do-"

"We were just talking and-"

"Get out both of you!" I heard the doctor snap. "Now before you do anything else."

My aunt and uncle disappeared while the beeping rang out in my ears, the memories flooding my mind. I felt my fingers grasped as bright eyes looked into mine whispering words to calm me down as I felt something cold sweep through my veins the tension in my aching body easing immensely. My eyelids grew heavy and I closed my eyes, the beeping instantly stopping as I heard a sigh.

"You're okay Miss Stewart, just rest okay, just stay calm and get some sleep."

I felt exhaustion spread as the door opened, "Is she okay is she-"

"She's fine, she had a mild panic attack, the stress of this and the fight that the whole ward just heard most likely brought it on." I heard my doctor say, an irritated tone in her voice, "I've sedated her so for the next few hours she'll be sleeping, then wake up dazed. If I hear that kind of argument again Commissioner I don't care who you are I will have to escort you from the building! Do you understand the fact she is ill and is not in a good state at present?"

"I'm sorry it's just-"

"Hard," The doctor responded, "I know, I've seen kids like her before, for some people you just have to accept that they don't move on until they find something that they need."

"Can we go in now?"

"Go a head, please no more-"

"We won't, we swear." My aunt murmured

A moment later the door closed as I heard a sniffle. My hand was grasped as I heard a sob, a wet kiss placed on my head.

"I'm so sorry Miley, I'm sorry." Amy whispered crying.

"I have to go back to work."

"Jase no, you need to stay here-"

"No, I can't." He announced, "I won't see her like this."

"Jase please she needs you here-"

The door slammed as my aunt's crying worsened and I weakly squeezed her hand. "Love you," My quiet voice whispered,

"I love you too beautiful girl, I always will."

I nodded and let myself fall into sleep, listening to the sound of tears, a sound I'd grown used being around.

Nick.

"A teddy bear?"

"No too boyfriend, girlfriend we barely know her."

"Balloons?"

"They're for celebration."

"Then what about a card?"

"We can't just give her a card, I mean we let her get shot."

"Flowers?"

"Roses?"

"No too romantic"

"How about chocolates?" I suggested, "And candy? She clearly likes sugar hence the nickname at the club."

Everyone turned staring at me for a moment, surprised I'd even spoken. Slowly the nodding began to consume the office as everyone agreed with me. "Okay so candy and chocolates, who wants to buy them? And what do you think about five bucks each?"

"We could buy her a hell of a lot of candy with that."

"What about two dollars?"

"No five bucks," Joe proclaimed opening his wallet, "She did get shot twice."

Everyone let out a murmur in agreement as the money started spilling out onto the table until there was a large messy pile of five-dollar bills. I leaned back on my chair staring ahead in a silent state, Demi beside me as I looked at the money knowing that I would be the one buying these gifts.

"So you two will go and see her?" Selena asked.

I sighed as Demi leaned forward grabbing the cash, "Yep, I'll buy the card," She grabbed two bills and handed me the rest, "You can buy the candy?"

I nodded in agreement as everyone instantly dispatched thankful they hadn't been given the role of doing either. Joe gave a nod and slapped me on the back as he walked away returning to his cubicle, while I wallowed in self frustration for letting the other night get so out of hand. I looked to Demi to find her leaning on the desk in deep contemplation,

"We killed someone Nick" Demi murmured after a moment,

She turned and looked at me as I noted for the first time the additional make up trying to mask the darkened lines under her eyes, she hadn't slept last night, that made two of us.

"I know."

"We took someone's life-"

"He deserved it Demi, don't doubt what we did."

I turned and looked at her as she just stared at me for a moment, "I know but still…don't you care Nick? I mean we killed someone's son, friend…" She asked and I shook my head, because honestly I didn't. He deserved to die for what he attempted to do to Miley.

"He deserves to be in hell, where he will be for the rest of his life."

Demi just stared at me and sighed, "I didn't think this would hit me so hard but-"

"Just forget it Demi."

"I can't just forget it Nick! We killed someone we-"

I huffed looking at her, "What did you expect Demi, we're cops, we're going to kill people it's part the God damn job description! Thank God it was not us" I spat at her more harshly than I intended too, her eyes just stared at me for a moment completely confused.

"Do you have emotions at all Nick?" She asked me deadly serious.

I opened my mouth to respond, only to close it thinking better than to say something else that would most likely be seen as a threat to the clearly over emotional female. I looked down instead at the paperwork that I'd been going through and writing for the past twenty-four hours, it was the explanation of last night's events from the good to the bad which would be handed to Commissioner Stewart on his arrival at the office. To say the least I was not looking forward to our meeting, because I knew he'd know the truth. That I'd hesitated when Demi had shot and killed, I'd fired but too late to do anything and I would be punished for my choices. To the Commissioner anything other than fifteen men in jail would be seen as a failure, not only had we shot one but the boss hadn't been in the club and therefore was not arrested.

"Nick."

I looked up to find my eldest brother standing a few feet away at the end of the row of desks, a frown on his faded face. Kevin hardly ever smiled at work it was strange considering at home he was the complete opposite. He was literally a man who kept his private life just that, and Joe and me were seen as nothing more than a blimp on the horizon here. So for him to address me it meant that this would be no way personal, but a request from another,

"The Commissioner wants to see you and Demi,"

I heard Demi intake a large amount of air as we both stood up knowing what was to come. I grabbed the report as she picked up hers and we both exchanged looks while slowly moving down toward Kevin. I saw a few heads pop up from computers as we walked past, all looking at us with raised eyebrows and knowing smirks.

"How's his mood?" Demi murmured uneasily as we reached Kevin.

He just stared between us and shook his head, "Worse than normal,"

I clenched my jaw as Kevin opened the door for us. We both walked into a sitting area taking a seat as Kev gave us one last look before leaving us. Demi and me both turned to the office door before us, the window beside with it's shutters drawn.

"Do you think he'll fire us?" Dem asked,

I shook my head, "No, he'll be pissed though, really pissed."

"He's an interesting man,"

I looked at Demi confused, "How so? All the Commissioners are emotionless and strict-"

"Because…"

Demi nodded her head to the left as I slowly turned looking at the wall. I'd seen the faces before, there was a memorial in the reception area where every single week new roses were laid for the fallen cops. We all knew these two photos were special to the Commissioner, his brother and sister in law,

"It must be so hard for him,"

"Why?" I retorted, "He's not the only one who lost people that day,"

"No he's not, but at least they don't have the constant reminder of the dead."

I looked at Demi confused as she stared at me, "Didn't you know? They had a daughter she was our age when it happened. The Commissioner got full custody of her with his wife, I mean that must be hard having to see her every day, remembering"

The door flew open as Demi's mouth snapped shut like a lock. We both stood our hands flying to our foreheads looking at the Commissioner who just stared through us, his thoughts elsewhere, maybe we'd get off easy?

"Your reports," He asked after a moment

Both of us shot out our hands as I saw Demi's mouth open and I could literally see the word vomit about to come out. "We're so sorry, I mean we trained for that, we had, but in the moment I panicked and I didn't know what to do and…I feel so terrible that she got shot I mean that was our complete fault and I'll take responsibility! Is she okay? Do you know? I'm getting her a card, Nick's going to buy her-"

"Enough!" The Commissioner snapped, "You're dismissed."

Demi's eyes widened, "My job, you're-"

The Commissioner sighed and turned looking at Demi who was now slightly shaking, "Lovato right?" She nodded as he gave her a small gentle smile, "You made the right decision, it wasn't your actions that caused the issues it was others. Please report back the day after tomorrow, after you've received counseling okay?"

Demi just started nodding her head like a bobble head dog in a car,

"Yes Sir, thank you sir."

We both turned as the Commissioner struck his hand out in front of me,

"I did not say you Jonas,"

Demi gave me a look before bolting out the door as I turned looking at the Commissioner; he stared at me for a moment studying me. "You're a lot like your father Nick." He finally announced flicking through my report, "Even your terrible penmanship, more so than your brothers anyway."

"Sir do you have a point because-"

He looked at me and frowned, "There was no room for error in this assignment-"

"I know sir and I-"

"Don't apologies," He snapped, "It's a sign of weakness that I will not accept."

"Then what would you like me to do?"

"Never hesitate again if one of your fellow officers is in trouble."

"Sir I-"

"She shot first, before you did. Lovato had already killed him, before your bullets even left the gun." He announced staring at me, "Hesitation almost cost that girl her life, I won't tolerate it."

"Yes sir."

"If I hear of any future occurrence like that I will have no choice but to dismiss you."

"Yes sir."

"You can leave-"

I turned only to stop giving a sigh turning back, "Sir I know Demi asked, but how is the condition of officer Miley? And by any chance could Demi and myself see her in hospital to apologies-" I stopped as he stared at me for moment.

The Commissioner's eyes shifted away for a moment looking at the wall,

"Jonas you were her training partner at the academy, yes?"

"Yes Sir."

"Then can you tell me something…" He turned back gazing at me, creases along his forehead "Do you think she is self motivated, that this is the job she wants or is it something else?" I frowned confused by his question, "I met her and I'm still not quite sure where her position should be-"

"In the field," I responded truthfully, "She was the best of all of us sir, if you are thinking about putting her anywhere else but on the field" I shook my head looking at him, "It would be a lose for both her and the force at large, she is a very confident and an able officer. Her motivation I would not know of Sir, she kept to herself."

"Of course she did," He murmured, "You can leave."

"Thank you sir."

I turned as his voice resonated again, "And at this time no, you cannot see her she's with her family and will be released some time this week. She'll be in the office next week most likely to show the war wounds off"

I nodded and turned letting out a sigh of relief closing the door, thankful that I still had my badge.

A/N: Hey guys :) I'm in China and I had the afternoon off so I thought I might as well update :) Hope you enjoy! Thanks for the reviews.