Author's Note – Disclaimed
I wanted to address a couple of the comments left for this story. My attempt at showing you the inside workings of my brain while I am writing it, if you will. I am in no way discouraging your opinions and I love having your insight. I have to say that one of the comments did make me wonder if I am making too much of a leap in characterization, so here is my theory!
I think that every person, regardless of demeanor, will come out of their shell when they are faced with protecting someone they care about. I see Eric as no different. I will agree with the point that, on the show, he is portrayed as being hopelessly in love with Nell. I did, albeit briefly, throw in the attraction he feels/felt for Nell. I simply chose to have him move past his initial attraction. The show hasn't really made any strides on pairing the two or even exploring the possibility of a pairing (outside of Eric's devotion). So, in that manner, I have indeed chosen to add dimensions the show has not.
I also wanted to give insight in my writing of Callen. My intention is not to portray him as an incompentent agent or lacking in life experience. I see Callen as a man who is highly competent on some fronts and not so competent on others. The character of Callen is definitely one who has amazing insight in most arenas; however, emotions are not one of those arenas. He is almost emotionally awkward. Much in the way a person can be socially awkward and not have the ability to read cues correctly. My interpretation of Callen is he has never really had any kind of basis to learn the cues of how to love another person. The couple of experiences the show has brought in had him losing in the end; unable to trust his instincts. My idea with this exploration of Callen is to show how he may struggle when faced with dealing with his emotions on a romantic level. By him jumping to the obvious (jealousy on Eric's part), he is showing his lack of competence when it comes to emotional experiences in this arena.
As I said before, please continue offering your insights! They are completely welcome and also give me points to ponder, which I enjoy greatly. I appreciate each and every one of them! Please enjoy this next chapter.
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Looking at her team, Hetty is beginning to think she is going to have to just send them all on vacation for the rest of the week. Nell and Eric are missing from ops. Callen is completely unfocused. Sam is spending more time trying to read his partner than he is investigating the case. The only ones who are remotely on task are Kensi and Deeks. Which is just all kinds of strange. Deeks hasn't made one crack since the ops center showdown. It's a good thing this case is turning out to be nothing significant. In fact, it may well be time to turn it over to the LAPD. The only connection to NCIS was eliminated by the evidence half an hour earlier.
She knew Callen was distracted before he left ops this morning, but now he is just pissed. Obviously something else happened, but she isn't privy to the details. At least not yet. Those will come later, of that she is sure. Rising to her feet, Hetty makes her way over the makeshift bullpen. "Mr. Deeks, please forward all the case information to the LAPD. This is no longer our jurisdiction." She watches as he leaves to gather the necessary files. "Ms. Blye, please accompany your partner to the precinct and then the two of you are free for the rest of the day. I will see you both in the morning."
Momentarily confused by the turn of events, Kensi thinks better of asking what is going on. The tension exuding from her team leader is enough to convince her an afternoon off can only have positive results. Turning on her heels, she goes in search of her partner hoping they can grab some lunch.
Turning towards the former SEAL, Hetty gives him permission to take the rest of the day off as well. After accepting his thanks, Hetty turns towards the man she has long thought of as a son. "Mr. Callen. I won't pretend to have all the answers this time around. All I can tell you is when tensions are this high and the results are what appear to be completely out of character reactions, maybe the mistake is in the assumption." Seeing the man lock eyes with her, she finishes her unsolicited advice. "Sometimes we have to go back to the drawing board, erase everything we think we know and start at the beginning. Perhaps that is something you can try, Mr. Callen. It is likely to more effective than your current course."
Callen watches as Hetty returns to her office and shakes his head at her insight. It seems the only logical explanation is she some sort of chip implanted in their brains. How the hell else is it possible for her to be able to know what is happening? He is well aware she has heard about the details of this morning in the ops center, but he hasn't told anyone about the conversation with Eric. And god knows there were plenty of assumptions thrown out during that talk. Or lack of conversation is more like it.
Having already heard Hetty give the rest of his team the remainder of the day off, Callen makes his way to his car. Arriving at his destination, Callen parks his car and finds a quiet spot along the beach hoping the sounds of the crashing waves will allow him to clear his head. Pulling out his phone, Callen dials Nell's number only to have it go to voicemail once again. He puts the device back into his pockets before stretching his legs out along the sand.
Callen briefly wonders if any of this is going to make sense any time soon. He opts to take Hetty's advice and go back to the beginning. The moments of flirtation. The moments he and Nell talked until late in the night. The times they took in the sights of the town like a couple of tourists. He thinks about when she would talk about Eric. The funny stories. The way he has been there for her since almost the beginning. The deepness of a friendship that would never go beyond those lines.
He knows she isn't romantically interested in Eric. But Callen is certain Eric has feelings for the young analyst. The way he watches her. The times he has embarrassed himself with an off-handed remark or an assumption that was wrong. Picking up a stick and tossing it towards the shoreline, Callen is beginning to think he has lost his mind. There really isn't any other way to interpret Eric's behavior. Is there?
Then again, he really doesn't know Eric all that well. Hell, it's entirely possible the man is already in a relationship. It really isn't something they ever talk about. Come to think of it, the two never talk outside of OSP or things related to work. Sure, they all get together from time-to-time. A de-briefing in a pub somewhere or team bonding, but those are all about surface stuff. Laughing at the antics of one another. Callen briefly considers calling Eric, but quickly decides it is unlikely to clear up any of the confusion.
Having just hung up with Nell, Eric takes a deep breath before grabbing his keys and heading out the door. The conversation did not go at all the way he had anticipated and no amount of convincing changed her mind. He shouldn't have expected anything less, but he feels really bad for adding to her already overflowing plate. The only job he had was to make things easier for her over a couple days. That didn't even last twenty-four hours.
Eric arrives back at Nell's apartment with several armfuls of groceries. He set the sacks on the counter and puts away the requested items. Looking at the clock on the wall, he notes the time before starting the necessary preparations. It is a bad idea. He knows it and he suspects on some level Nell knows it as well, but the final decision is obviously hers. And decide she has.
Pulling out the list she sent him, Eric makes sure everything is ready. Assuring himself all is good to go, he pulls up the newest list of movies on her cable. After perusing them for a short time, he finds several that will work as a distraction when needed. He sets the remote aside before moving to the guest bedroom and putting away the items purchased earlier. As he puts the last set of new sheets in the dresser, Eric hears the locking mechanism disengage as the deadbolt of the front door opens. Taking a deep breath, Eric goes into the living room to greet his friend.
"Hey Nell." Eric says as he leans over to give her a hug before taking the duffel bag she has slung over her shoulder. Setting it in her room, he comes back into the front of the apartment. "You really didn't have to come home yet." Eric receives the exact look he had expected from the woman. Holding his hands up in the air on either side of his head, "I really did try. In my defense, Callen was making this whole thing about himself. And he was jumping to conclusions that weren't even close to being right."
Nell gives him another look and crosses her arm along her chest before speaking, "Well, he doesn't exactly have much information to go on, now does he Eric? What else did you expect?"
Looking down at his hands for a moment, Eric speaks tentatively. "As far as lack of information, that wasn't my call. Just to be fair on that point. As far as expectations..." He pauses a minute before making eye contact with her, "well you already know my thoughts on that one."
Nell smiles at her friend. She knows this is hard for him. She is well aware of Eric's interpretation of the relationship, or whatever it is, she has with Callen. They have been over it. A lot. But Nell knows more about Callen than Eric does and she knows it is more about him not knowing how to let his emotions come to the surface. "Yes, Eric. I know how you feel about Callen and me. And you are right. It isn't your fault he doesn't have all the information."
Pulling out her phone, she sends a text to the man in question. She knows it wasn't fair to leave him completely in the dark. It seemed like a good idea yesterday. It really did. And she just needed long enough to come to terms with what was happening. Figure out the next step. Know where she stood before she needed to explain it to anyone else. Especially Callen. Admittedly, she still has no idea what she is going to say to him.
Knowing it won't take long before Callen arrives, Nell goes to her room and starts unpacking. Eric moves into the kitchen to get a couple of snack items in containers so Nell won't have to worry about anything later. He is almost finished with the task when he hears the knocking on the door. Knowing Nell will let him in, Eric puts the last of the items in the fridge.
He walks around the corner in time to see Callen releasing Nell from an embrace. "Where have you been? Are you ok?" Callen's line of questions aimed at the small woman are interrupted when he sees Eric coming from around the corner. Eric watches as Callen shifts his gaze from the tech to the woman in front of them. Callen straightens his frame and pulls his lips together forming a tight line. "Eric." His name is said with a combination of surprise and perhaps a bit of comtempt.
The tech simply nods his head in Callen's direction. Turning his attention to Nell, he lets her know he is going to step out while she talks to Callen and he will talk to her later. As he walks past the two, Eric feels her hand on his arm. "No, Eric. It's fine. Stay." No, he thinks to himself. This is a bad idea. He shakes his head and goes to speak before his voice is interrupted by hers. "Please." And there is the look. The one she knows will get him everytime.
Placing his hand across her cheek and offering her a soft smile, Eric acquieces and moves to sit in the small dining room off the kitchen. He grabs his laptop on the way hoping he can distract himself in some way. The thought of listening in on this conversation is not his idea of a good time. At all.
Nell turns back to Callen and asks if he wants anything to drink. "No, Nell. I don't want anything to drink." Hearing his frustration breaking through, Callen a deep intake of air before continuing. "Thank you. I really just want to know what is going on." Taking her hand, Callen leads them over to the couch and sits down before motioning for her to do the same. "Where have you been? Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?" He stops with those two questions, even though there are so many more running through his head.
Nell reaches out and takes his hand once again as she begins to speak. "I'm sorry you were worried, Callen. That wasn't my intent. We didn't have any plans for last night, so I figured you wouldn't even miss me until tonight sometime. I figured everyone would think Hetty sent me on an unscheduled vacation. And heaven knows she frowns on contacting people from work while on those excursions. I was planning on being home by tomorrow morning. "
Seeing the look on his face, Nell knows the reason is lame. She can see Callen knows it is bullshit as well. She takes a breath before just laying out the truth. "I just had something unexpected come up and I needed a couple of days to figure it out." She smiles before releasing his hand and re-positioning herself against the corner of the couch.
"What came up?" Callen really is curious at this point because it is pretty obvious Eric is privy to whatever is going on. Notwithstanding the closeness they share, Callen is confident he and Nell have grown close as well which is making it harder for him to understand why she would confide in Eric and not him.
And there it is. The question she isn't ready to answer. She knew he would ask. Hell, she can't blame him for asking. But she isn't ready to go there. Not yet. She is still wrapping her own head around it and she isn't ready to bring him in the fold. Not right now.
She puts on a smile hoping to lessen the blow of her next words. "I can't tell you yet." Watching him school his reaction, she silently wishes it were the next day. She would have been ready by then. Ready to answer any questions Callen would have.
"Can't or won't, Nell." Callen gauges his tone carefully and prepares himself for the answer he isn't sure he wants to hear.
Already having prepared herself for the fact this conversation is going to cause more harm than she intends, she trudges forward. "Won't."
Once the word is out of her mouth, Callen rises to his feet. He walks around the coffee table and struggles to understand what is happening. "I don't understand, Nell. Why won't you talk to me? Better yet, why did you call me over here if you had no intention of telling me why you left?"
Sitting up a little straighter on the couch, Nell tries to clarify. "I wanted you to know I was safe. I promise you, Callen. I will talk to you. Just not today. Not now."
"But you can talk to him." Callen points in Eric's direction for emphasis. He knows the words aren't going to go over well, but his mouth hasn't exactly caught up with his brain. And frankly speaking, he is hurt.
She gives a small smile before answering, "Yes, Callen. And I have. He was the first person I called." She gets up from the couch and moves to a position across from Callen hoping to somehow make him understand. "It wasn't anything personal. Eric is just...," she attempts to find the correct descriptor. "Eric." She knows he isn't going to understand what she means, so she doesn't elaborate. "I want to tell you. I really do. And I will, but I need time. Time to get everything figured out first."
Callen feels the emotions going in too many directions. This is exactly why he shut this part of himself down. It never works. Never goes well. There are too many variables he can't control when it comes to matters of the heart. Too much potential for damage. And everyone knows G. Callen is already damaged enough.
Locking eyes with the young woman in front of him, he hopes she will understand where he is coming from and read between the lines. "I don't know how to do this, Nell."
Seeing the look of confusion pass across her features, he knows she isn't catching the underlying message. "This, Nell." He moves his hand between the two of them in a back and forth motion. "I do guns. I do bad guys. Give me a background and I can be just about anyone in minutes." He takes a breath before continuing, "I don't know anything about this. I don't know how to be this guy. What am I supposed to do here?"
She sees his frustration building and speaks in an effort to calm him, "You're supposed to wait, Callen. Give me the time I need to get this figured out. Know everything will work out. Be there for me when I am ready to tell you. I just need some time." She knows he has been hurt before and she knows this isn't helping, but she just needs more time.
"I don't know how to do that, Nell. That's not who I am. You're fighting some battle that I don't even know anything about and you won't give me any information to go on." Callen shakes his head as if trying to find the right words. "Maybe your instincts were right when you called Eric and not me. It's probably better for everyone if Eric is the one here for you."
With those words, Callen moves out the front door before Nell has the chance to respond. Having seen and heard the exchange, Eric moves to follow Callen into the hallway. Placing a hand on her shoulder as he passes, he speaks quietly. "Let me try, Nell." As much as he hates seeing how much Callen has made her doubt herself over the last couple weeks, Eric knows Nell needs him.
Walking towards him as he moves away from Nell's apartment, Eric calls out in an effort to stop to him. "Callen, wait."
Continuing to walk down the hallway, Callen shakes his head at the intrusion. "Why, Eric?"
"You aren't being fair, Callen. That's why." Eric's words have the desired effect as he sees Callen stop walking and turn around.
"Fair?" Callen lets out a frustrated chuckle as he shakes his head. "I'm not being fair. What about her?"
Eric isn't interested in arguing with Callen and just gets straight to the point. "She needs you. I may not understand or agree with that sentiment, but I'm telling you. She needs you right now, Callen."
A look of disbelief falls over Callen's face as he speaks, "Well isn't that interesting coming from the only man in the equation that she has shared everything with up to this point. Hell, anything with." He lets out a laugh hoping to cover the hurt he is feeling in that moment. "You're wrong, Eric. She has made it abundantly clear who she needs. And it isn't me."
Callen turns and walks out the door towards his car leaving Eric standing in the hallway.