Chapter Nine.

Nick

The signs had all been there, I just hadn't seen them…

Miley's continuous fighting with the Commissioner who clearly had other intentions than letting his niece into his police force. The way she fell silent and stopped eating when we spoke of her family, how we'd joked at their expense while she sat there and took it without saying a word. It explained why she was so overly confident, because Miley had compensate for the actual feelings she was trying to hide, the truth that she was refusing to let go of the parents she'd lost when she was little girl.

I looked at the photos in office foyer feeling a sickening feeling in my stomach. I'd never stopped and actually looked, I'd seen them just like I'd seen Miley yet I'd never examined the truth behind the smiles. How Leticia Stewart looked just like Miley did, how she had her fathers eyes, but Tish's cheekbones. Now that I saw it I couldn't believe I hadn't realized sooner, it was so obvious.

Miley was their daughter who had lost so much more than just her parents on 9/11

"Whatcha doing?"

I turned to see my older brother looking at me confused,

"Just reading…"

"You can read?"

I glared at Kevin as he smirked and walked away, "Mom said hi by the way, your absence was thoroughly noted, her boyfriend is nice you'd like him. A lot like dad" With that he walked off as I just stood there.

I gazed one last time at the memorial before turning and walking into the busy office. The sound of tapping keys mixed with my scents of strong coffee and donuts instantly made me relax, no mater what time you came here you could always expect the same and I like the clarity of it all. It seemed I wasn't the only one as I looked at Miley sitting in my chair with Demi opposite holding a textbook. I wasn't surprised she was here. A weekend had past since our encounter that one of us remembered while the other most likely didn't. I needed to talk to her, to make her see that she wasn't alone but I was so scared of how she'd react. Instead I was going to act normal until I was alone with her when I had Miley's full attention and hopefully understanding,

"Morning Nick!" Demi chirped,

"Wow you're happy for a Monday morning!"

"Sure am Miley bought us all coffee-"

"And she means all of us." Selena proclaimed,

I looked over at my ex to find her sitting with Justin, a coffee before her and a pastry of some description. I turned and found replicated displays in the five cubicles around us as I looked back to Miley who was sucking on a lollypop

"In a giving mood are we?" I questioned,

"It's the least I could do."

She motioned to the coffee and brown paper bag on my own desk as I smiled at her appreciatively, "Thank you Miley."

"No problem,"

Miley moved to stand up as I shook my head pushing her gently back into my chair, "No you go ahead, I need to have a word with the Commissioner anyway-"

"About what?" Demi asked intrigued,

"None of your business, don't you have patrol today?"

Demi instantly grinned as I sat on the edge of my desk my eyes quickly seeing Miley's nose deliberately lost in the book, "I do, which is fantastic I'm finally off paper work and back into the real action, well directing traffic anyway, however my idiotic partner is running late." She announced giving me look with raised eyebrows,

"Joe left before me," I responded simply,

"He did?"

"Yeah I have no idea where he is," I stated shrugging, "Probably got lost-"

"You would be quite incorrect," My brother's voice announced loudly,

We all turned to see him strutting in holding a bunch of small cut rectangular pieces of paper, "I was picking up the invitations to my birthday, which you all should know is in-"

"One week," Everyone murmured as Joe nodded,

"Good and this year I'm being a classy bastard, no face book invites, but personal squares." He proclaimed as I just stared at my older brother intrigued by the mention of this new party I hadn't even heard of as of yet,

"Where is it?" I asked,

"At our apartment of course,"

I rolled my eyes hoping it wasn't like last year, I was still finding pieces of glass from the smashed bottles and moldy bits of pizza in the back of the couch. I groaned already feeling tired from the huge clean up this was going to create, as Joe was grinning like an idiot handing out the invitations, to everyone in the office.

"Wait…it's themed?" Demi spat,

"Uhuh it's-"

"LINGERIE PARTY?" Demi screamed disgusted

We all turned to Joe who smirked, "What can I say, I'm classy to an extent. Plus last year everyone got naked anyway so…" I instantly grimaced at the memory, remembering how many bras I'd found in Joe's room the next day, "Ladies I expect the least amount of cloth, guys…jocks only, I don't want to see any action downstairs thank you very much!"

Joe handed me his invite as I just stared at him, "You're a dick,"

He slapped me on the back , "You'll be thanking me when you get lucky with the one and only girl you haven't kissed yet…" He murmured to me quietly winking as he leaned down sliding an invitation down the book was Miley was reading,

Her head looked up at Joe, "You're inviting me?"

"Of course!" He announced, "It's the night of your test…"

Joe turned to me giving a small smirk, "Which means you can get drunk in celebration if you pass, or you can wallow in grief and get drunk if you fail! It'll be great!"

Miley just stared at him picking up the invitation, "What do you mean my lingerie, are we talking like…" She trailed off shaking her head, "Thongs-"

"Hell yeah-"

"No," Demi spat glaring at Joe turning to Miley, "You're staying classy Miley"

"I think I lost most of my respect undercover,"

I laughed beginning to nod in agreement as Miley just stared at me,

"But that was undercover so it was totally okay to act like a slut."

"You're judging me still."

"Yeah a little," I responded, "But not in a bad way,"

Miley laughed and nodded, "Okay I'll come this sounds fun,"

"More like dangerous, after last year…" Demi stated shaking her head, "I mean I don't remember the next week let alone that night!" Miley smiled as Joe rushed off to hand out the rest of his invitations like a giddy five year old in school,

"So you finally got invited to a party," I murmured to Miley.

She looked at me and nodded, "I did, one of which sounds like the best of the year,"

"Or the worst depending how much you drink,"

"I'll make sure I stay classy, don't worry."

She smiled at me weakly turning back to the book as I just stared at her. How did she continue to smile like that? I couldn't imagine what it would be like in her shoes, but I knew well enough I wouldn't be able to cope like Miley did. To deal with her parents, her crazy uncle not to mention the stress of having to do her testing anyone would be a mess. I knew she was hurting inside, but to hold it together in front of us showed she was built to be strong, like her parents.

"Okay D let's roll bitch!" Joe proclaimed,

Demi looked at Joe staring at him, "If you call me that again I'm gonna whip your ass-"

"You can do whatever you like to me at my birthday"

Demi groaned and stood up, "You are disgusting Joe,"

"At least I'm honest-"

"Too honest, let's go bye guys, keep up the study I'll be back in two hours Miles."

"Okay, I'll be waiting"

Demi and Joe left the office as I looked across Justin and Selena who were giggling away with one another. To think that used to be us, when we were friends, when it was simple. I noted Miley was watching me and I turned to her only for her eyes to dart back to the book she was reading,

"That was completely obvious Miley," I murmured,

She looked up intrigued, "You guys have history don't you?" She whispered.

"Did Demi tell you?"

"No," Miley responded, "You can see it in your eyes, you stare at her a lot."

I went to retort back at her as Miley leaned on my desk,

"So what's the deal?" She asked.

"Nothing-"

"You can tell me, I won't judge," Miley announced, "I remember you guys used to be best friends at the academy, what changed?"

"We tried dating," I responded simply,

"And what it went bad-"

"I cheated on her, she cheated on me all in the span of two weeks."

"Oh,"

Miley's eyes were wide as she looked at Selena, "That's-"

"Unexpected, surely you knew I had a-"

"Player image," Miley cut in nodding, "I did, but you don't have the personality meanwhile you're brother does." Miley pocketed her invitation shaking her head. "If you were such good friends why did you try the romance? Couldn't you have just kept the friendship?"

I looked away staring to see Justin feeding Selena a piece of pastry,

"You love her don't you?" Miley whispered.

I shook my head looking back at Miley honestly, "I did, I don't now."

"You loved her, she clearly didn't feel exactly the same-"

"Yeah," I murmured, "Pretty much, I was in the friend zone for so long and when finally I got my shot it went wrong."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Miley stated,

"Not as sorry as I am,"

Miley turned back to her book as I looked at her intrigued, "So what's your story? I mean at the academy it was pretty clear you weren't interested in anyone but yourself, no offence, but what about before that at school? Boyfriend? Girlfriend?" I asked and she just laughed staring further at the book,

"I'm not discussing this,"

"I just told you more than my brother even does so-"

Miley huffed and slammed the book, "I've had a few boyfriends, none of them serious." She stated looking at me, "That's as complicated as the story is Nick, it's hard to love anyone when your love is so tied up elsewhere."

I stared at her as she sighed looking at her book running her fingers down the spine. I knew this was the moment I had the perfect lead in to tell Miles I knew the truth. I could help her see, that I cared at least, that I was there on Friday when everything went wrong. That I wanted to help her deal with the fact she couldn't stop holding onto her parents,

"I-"

"Oh shit" She murmured,

I looked to see her eyes were locked behind me a fearful look in her eyes.. I spun to see the Commissioner making a beeline for our direction, towards his niece. I closed my eyes knowing the moment was gone, as I turned moving to salute only for the Commissioner to give me a glare, his eyes turning to Miley.

"Miley, my office now?"

She just looked away, "No."

"Miley I jut gave you a direct order-"

She looked up and I saw the anger in her eyes, "And I said No."

I felt the tension building as I literally felt the air being sucked from the space between them, the line striking in between them. The Commissioner opened his mouth, rage in his eyes only to stop realizing I was still perched on the desk. I knew if I moved he'd hurt her again, so I stayed knowing the dangerous position I was putting myself in. He looked at me as I held his stare and he just nodded,

"Fine," He murmured turning to her, "But we will speak Miley-"

"No, we won't,"

He just glared at his niece as I stood up deciding to break the fight before it started,

"I need to talk to you Sir-"

"Not the time," The Commissioner snapped at me,

With that he turned away and threw himself basically down the hallway, disappearing behind the cubicles. I looked back to Miley, who had reopened the book and was hiding her face behind it,

"You okay?" I whispered.

She nodded keeping the book up, "I just…need some air."

She snapped it closed and stood up as I watched Miley wipe her cheek and quickly bolt from the office area in the opposite direction to her uncle. I sat there for a moment staring at Selena and Justin still giggling away, completely oblivious, thinking how I wished to be that in love where nothing else mattered.

Miley.

The anger was hard to control.

It took all of my will just to tame the dragon that seemed to be raging in me, wanting to make him suffer, to yell and scream at Jason in front of everyone. I knew if I'd sat a moment longer in that office that I would have lost my control, and exploded in a slur of curses and insults that I'd been holding in. Instead I came here, to lose myself, to try and calm myself down.

I threw my fist into the punching bag, quickly sending another hit. If I imagined this was Jason, it made me feel somewhat better, that he was being punished for the cruel and inaccurate statements he'd spoken of me. So I kicked, I punched and I slapped the bag trying to create as much damage as I could, yet every time the bag swung back still intact while I was falling apart.

"I've been looking for you everywhere!" A voice proclaimed,

I spun to see Nick in his gym shorts and loose fitting t-shirt, "We thought you might have gone home, Demi gave up looking for you, I guess she didn't exactly think you'd come here."

"I thought it would be better to train than study for the rest of today,"

Nick walked over looking at me intrigued, "Are you sure you didn't want to let off some steam about the Commissioner?" He asked bluntly and I just stared at him frowning,

"How do you know?"

I stopped staring at Nick confused, honestly I didn't remember that much about the fight. I could blame being exhausted but it was more than just that, the feeling of betrayal had blinded me to the point where the pain had kicked in and erased a lot of the details, just like the two months after my parents death that were just soundless white to me. I couldn't even remember getting into bed that night after the run in with Jase, let alone who had been watching

"Well you were sobbing, news gets around pretty quickly." He responded quietly,

"So someone told you?"

I looked at Nick who nodded, "Yeah, pretty much everyone knows."

"That's why everyone was so surprised I was here this morning." I murmured.

"I wasn't," Nick proclaimed grinning, "I knew you'd be here."

I didn't respond and looked back to the punching bag shaking my head,

"I really hate him,"

"Who? The Commissioner?" Nick stated moving closer to me,

"He's a dick-"

"He's the boss, he's supposed to act like that Miley." He responded repeating my own words back upon me from a few weeks ago.

"I know but, I just," I shook my head sighing, "He doesn't understand."

"Understand what Miley?"

"That we're not all the same," I stated clenching my fists, "That not everyone is a perfect model of what he expects and wants!" I slammed my fist into the bag feeling my anger growing, "He just seem to understand that not everyone copes like he does or thinks like him, that sometimes a person needs to make fucking mistakes so they learn instead of being punished before they even do anything wrong!"

I went to hit the bag again as Nick grabbed it looking at me,

"Hey," He whispered calmly, "Take a breath, calm down,"

"I want to kill him."

"Don't say that," Nick stated, "People might be listening-"

"I honestly don't give a shit, I've dealt with him for so fucking long and…"

I trailed off closing my eyes realizing that I was talking to much, giving too much away. I ran my hand through my hair trying to clear my head. Nick didn't deserve to be bombarded by all this crap. I felt his hand lightly touch the small of my back as my body shivered in response,

"You can talk to me you know that right?"

I opened my eyes to see him standing before, his arm looped around my waist,

"It won't help make this better," I murmured.

"It might make you feel better-"

"I'd rather kill the punching bag than talk, talking with me end in fights."

"Only when you're mad at the person, are you mad at me?" Nick asked simply and I looked at him shaking my head, "Then maybe I could help, you don't have to deal with this on your own Miley." He looked at me with a look in his eyes, a faint expression that I felt like he understood,

"I can't, but I wish I could-"

"Is this his decision or yours?" He asked me,

I shrugged, "Both, mine I guess, I just don't want people to-"

Treat me differently

"Don't worry about it, can we just train?" I asked looking at him.

Nick opened his mouth and I could see that he wanted to say something so desperately, yet instead he closed his mouth and nodded.

It was good getting into training, it helped distract me and concentrate on the task ahead of me instead of hanging on the emotions I was feeling. We'd finally turned to actual contact between us, and although Nick was good he still wasn't as skillful as me much to my delight. I didn't let him lose every time, although I could win, I didn't want him to feel stupid just like my Uncle did to me.

"Okay, this is all good but how are you going to cuff me!" Nick announced,

I sat on Nick's chest staring over him, while he looked up at me his arms pinned to his side by my legs. I tried to find a solution to the question, but he had a point I couldn't exactly move or he'd have the momentum to have me on my back, a place I didn't exactly appreciate.

"Are you going to try or just sit there?"

"I'll wait for back up!" I proclaimed smiling at him.

"I shot and killed your back up."

"That's not fair,"

"Bad luck back ups dead, you're on your own now what?"

Nick looked at me smirking and I groaned trying to think my mind however becoming distracted as I stared at his lips. An idea suddenly came to me as I leaned towards Nick moving my head down beside him,

"So if my back ups dead it's just the two of us? Alone?"

Instantly I felt him tense under me as I moved my lips to his ear,

"I like being with company, especially male."

I moved my hand behind me trying to find the cuffs I'd dropped during our mock fight. My fingers circled the floor as I felt the metal grabbing them carefully while I had Nick preoccupied,

"Although I sometimes swing both ways, if you like that kind of-"

I moved my left leg quickly only for Nick's hand to fly up grabbing my waist. In one movement he flung me onto the ground and had me pinned under him my arms sprawled beside me uselessly as Nick pointed at my head, creating a gun like shape,

"Sorry but you're flirting doesn't distract me, you're dead."

I growled trying to sit up, "It might on the field-"

"It probably will, but not all guys are going to be infatuated by you."

"So you're not?" I asked at him teasingly,

"I didn't say that,"

Nick climbed off me offering his hand, "I think that's a wrap for today, we'll do some more work tomorrow." He stated with a smile as I nodded feeling a little defeated as Nick grabbed me around the shoulders pulling me to the locker rooms,

"You're gonna kill the physical though,"

"Maybe you never know what the Commissioner might do…"

"No but you can take it," Nick smiled opening the door, "I have faith."

"I think I'm going to need more than your faith in me."

"A lot of people believe you can do it Miley."

"But-"

"No buts!" He let go me as I looked at him, "You're going to pass."

I closed my eyes and shook my head, "Actually I'm not Nick."

"Don't be so negative-"

"The Commissioner's going to fail me, that's why I was crying"

I slowly let myself look up to see Nick staring at me with the same look in his eyes like he wanted to say something. Instead Nick didn't say anything and instead moved over pulling me into a hug, I carefully wrapped my arms around him pressing my head against his shoulder.

"He doesn't want me to be a cop, and if he doesn't approve then I won't win."

Nick sighed pulling me even closer, "I know how badly you want this, and I know it's going to work out. I promise you'll be an officer." He murmured into my ear as I listened even though I knew he was wrong, "Miley he's not just going to be there, so it the board and a few senior cops who I know…I can put in a good word."

I laughed, "Thanks but Jason's probably already paid them off."

Nick let go of me and stared at me shaking his head,

"Don't doubt yourself, you can do this even if he has done something."

"He's powerful."

"And so are you!" He murmured,

Nick moved his hand up to my cheek, "You can do this."

"Nick you have to understand that-"

I never finished my sentence because something cut me off. No not something, someone. Nick's lips pressed against mine less than a second only to pull back almost instantaneously. I just stood there and looked at him completely surprised while he just stared back at me so completely blank .I didn't know how to process what he'd just done. Had Nick seriously just kissed me?

"That worked better than I expected," He finally stated giving me a sly smirk, "I'll remember that's a good way to shut you up in the future."

I just stood there completely confused as I felt sudden sadness. I didn't change my expression instead I just felt embarrassed because a part of me wanted that to more than just a way to shut me up, I wanted more,

"I should go," I whispered.

Nick's hand didn't shift though as he just stared at me smiling,

"I should have realized sooner, at the academy-"

"What?"

"That you're special." He whispered.

"What to you mean-"

Then his lips were on mine again, bust this time they didn't leave. I felt scared, nervous, excited and confused but when I kissed him back and he pulled me against his body I didn't have any regrets because Nick was right. I hadn't realized my attraction to him, seen who he really was because I assumed Nick was player and that was my mistake and his too. This however I knew wouldn't be a mistake or a regret, it was a small inkling of hope that I hadn't expected