A/N: Hey guys, here is the next chapter as promised. I didn't get the 6 reviews I wanted but I am enjoying writing this fic. Im hoping you are to. it's a bit longer as promised, and the next chapter is even longer. enjoy!
Chapter 4: Tabula Rasa
A few days had passed since Kate had shown at Jack's door in hysterics, but she was beginning to put it all behind her. Of course, the fact that Jack had been so caring and forgiving towards her was certainly helping things along. She hadn't expected things to go nearly as well as they had.
It still surprised Kate, days after arriving, that he had been so quick to forgive, forget and allow her to re-enter his life.
Kate was beginning to get used to her routine at Jack's. She'd get up a bit after Jack left for surgery and fix herself breakfast, then hit the job hunt. Although Kate had yet to find a new job, she was getting quite close. She had a few interviews lined up over the next few days, which she hoped would turn out well.
She had stashed the paper with her chosen classifieds in the bedside table in Jack's spare bedroom. Considering the state that Jack kept his place, she was sure he'd never find it.
Kate was just making herself a sandwich for lunch, when Jack walked in.
"Jack? Is that you?" Kate asked in the vague direction of the door.
"Yea, Kate. It's me. What, expecting someone else?" Jack asked, smiling.
Kate laughed, "No, Jack. How was the hospital?" she asked.
"Routine day, my surgery was cancelled so I just needed to catch up on some paperwork, then I was able to get back. You know, just to make sure you hadn't burned the place down." Jack joked.
"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence Jack." Kate said sarcastically, "Hey, you want me to make you a sandwich as well?" she said, gesturing to the loaf of bread on the table.
"That'd be great, Kate. Thanks. I'll be right back, I gotta grab something from upstairs." Jack said, turning around to head up the stairs, presumably to his room.
"OK, see you in a few." Kate replied, turning her attention back to the sandwiches.
Kate finished making the sandwiches: a peanut butter and jelly one for her, and a ham and cheese sandwich for Jack. She had just sat down to eat, when Jack came striding back down the stairs.
"Hey Kate, why do you have the classified section of the paper lying around the spare bedroom?" Jack asked somewhat annoyed, but in a caring voice.
Damn. I must have left it out when I was last using it. Now he's going to flip out. Good job Kate, Kate thought to herself.
"Uhh, no reason really. I just like reading what jobs are to offer. Kind of a guilty pleasure of mine." Kate lied nervously.
She knew it was unlikely he'd believe her, because he knew her all to well from their time on the island. Sure enough, he saw straight through her lie. Hell, she hadn't even believed it.
"Nice try, Kate. There are circles around some of them in pen." Jack said sternly, "Care to explain them?"
"I dunno how they got there. I was just reading it." Kate continued to lie, but beginning to realize it was getting her nowhere.
It was actually doing more harm to her cause than help.
"Kate…" Jack said. That was all that needed to be said, it told Kate he wanted the truth.
"I got fired." Kate mumbled, looking at her feet.
"Kate, why didn't you tell me?" Jack asked his voice changing from stern to concerned, but Kate's eyes never left the floor.
Jack waited a few seconds for a response, but when none was forthcoming he continued.
"Kate, look at me. What did you think was gonna happen?" He asked again.
"I dunno Jack, I just didn't think it was such an important thing say at the time. I figured I'd only be here for a couple of days, and then I'd be out of your way." Kate said sadly, tears falling down her cheeks.
"I guess I thought that I could last a few days without a job to sort out my…guy problems…but it's more of a challenge then the last time I had to do this." She finished.
Jack didn't really know what to say. He'd planned on asking her to move with in him, purely as a friend, at dinner later this week. But at the time he didn't know Kate was unemployed, and he figured it could wait.
He wasn't lying when he told Kate he enjoyed having her around, and he wanted to show her that by asking her to move in.
Jack quickly made up his mind; he'd come this far. He wasn't turning back now.
"Kate, I was going to ask you this later this week…but…well…in light of this…news…" Jack stammered, running a hand through his short, brown hair nervously.
Kate was confused at what Jack was trying to say. It was obvious he was really flustered about something, she could tell that from the tone of his voice. But she wasn't sure what. What did he want to ask her?
Intrigued, Kate slowly raised her head and looked Jack straight in the eyes. He really is cute, when he's nervous, Kate thought and cracked a smile only for it to vanish seconds later when he noticed his confused expression.
Does she know what I'm going to ask her?, Jack thought. No, she couldn't. She must have other things on her mind, hopefully none of them relating to how she could reject his offer.
"…Well, I guess I'll just come out and say it. What d'ya say to moving in with me?" Jack finished.
Jack could have sworn he saw a glimmer of happiness in Kate's eyes, but as quickly as it appeared, it faded again. What she said however contained a different emotion all together.
"Jack. How can you ask me to move in with you? We're not even together. You have a girlfriend…and…I mean look at me. I'm still an emotional wreck from my break-up with Sawyer…" Kate said, thoroughly confused, almost looking for an excuse.
While Kate was delighted he was willing to continue their friendship after all they'd been through, she wasn't sure if it was a good thing to jump into this. She certainly hadn't expected him to do anything this…well, unexpected. The last few days together had been their first days of seeing one another in months. This was really a huge decision.
"No…No…wait. I didn't mean it like that. I meant, move in as friends. I'm not asking you out or anything like that, I'd never do that to Sarah." Jack explained.
Kate's happiness level damped slightly. Even though she knew Jack wasn't the type of person to cheat on his girlfriend, she was slightly upset at the fact that it seemed he had indeed lost 'those' feelings for her.
"I don't know Jack. I don't want to intrude, I mean you only just asked Sarah if I could stay with you for a few nights, I don't want to think what she'd say to this." Kate answered.
"I mean, this is kind of a big step isn't it? We've seen each other for the first time in months, and in less than a week you're asking me to move in? Doesn't that seem a little sudden for you." She completed her thoughts, spilling out all her doubts.
Kate was so busy thinking about her response that she missed Jack curse to himself for not remembering to ask Sarah about Kate staying at his house.
"I guess it is kind of sudden, Kate, but it just feels right. I don't know how to explain it." Jack started, "I wouldn't have even thought about asking if it didn't feel like the right thing to do. For both of us…"
Kate took a moment to collect her thoughts. This decision could affect their entire future, as friends, and hopefully a couple.
"OK, Jack." She whispered, "You've convinced me. But you still have to convince me that a certain other woman is all right with it…sadly, I know from personal experience that drifting away from your other half doesn't usually end well." Kate finished cracking a grin and a chuckle, finally finding her voice.
"Kate, trust me. It'll be fine. Sarah was fine with you staying here. She trusts me, and she trusts you. We've made it pretty clear to each other, that we don't think of each other romantically any more, so I don't think it'll be a problem." Jack said, and Kate cringed inwardly at his words.
"Well, are you sure you want me around your house? I'm not exactly the greatest roommate, just ask Claire. I'm kinda messy." Kate asked seriously.
Jack just laughed. "Kate, have you been living in the same house as me for the past few days? The house is the cleanest I've seen it since I got back thanks to you."
"I just don't want you to rush in to this decision, Jack. I mean it's not exactly a small one." Kate replied. "It could affect a great deal of our lives."
"I've been thinking about it since you got here. I mean, I know our relationship hasn't exactly been perfect for the last couple months and I regret not trying harder to stop that, I really do…but I've got loads of space here, a spare bedroom, and like I said, I love having you here. It just feels right." Jack finished.
Kate paused, thinking about her decision. Jack though, couldn't handle the silence, and needed to interject.
"So what d'ya say Kate? Tabula Rasa?" He asked.
Kate smiled, recognizing the last time he'd told her that.
They had only crashed on the island hours before, and things were still settling down. Jack had hardly stopped working; from playing the doctor, to being the leader, he was constantly busy. But now, Jack was just sitting there peacefully, gazing out into the ocean, still wearing the torn up suit he'd crashed in. Thinking, reflecting. She had wanted Jack to find out about her past from her, and no one else. So she sat down beside him, and, determined to get through the entire story, began to speak.
"I wanna tell you what I did. Why he was after me." Kate began, and Jack looked at her.
"I don't wanna know. It doesn't matter, Kate. Who we were… what we did before this…before the crash...It doesn't really…" Jack began, but switched his approach, "Three days ago we all died. We should all be able to start over."
A wave of relief swept over Kate, at how forgiving this man could be. "Okay." She said, unable to take her eyes off of him.
"Ok." He replied, and after sharing a look between them, they sat together for hours, just thinking about what'd be said, and enjoying each other's company.
If Jack had found it in himself to take a risk and forgive her without even knowing what horrible things she'd done, what would she be if she couldn't do the same for him, considering the way things had turned out between them weren't really in his control?
Kate didn't respond for a second, thinking, and Jack was getting extremely nervous. A fear of rejection he hadn't felt since high school was setting in. Suddenly though, her eyes lit up that brilliant emerald green he knew so well, and she walked up to Jack and hugged him tight. "I'd love to, Jack." She whispered into his ear.
Just like that, the fear was gone.
"Great. What d'ya say we go out and celebrate?" Jack suggested, and Kate happily agreed.
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"Kate, we better get you to bed. I think you had one to many drinks at dinner." Jack warned.
They'd arrived back at the house, and Kate could barely keep herself standing upright.
"What? No way Jack. I feel -hic- fine, let's hang out some more. Hic!" Kate said tipsy.
"Kate, you need to go to bed. Doctor's orders." Jack said a little more sternly, but the playful expression on her face melted away any seriousness he still held.
"Oh, doctor's orders huh? So the meany Dr. Shephard -hic- is gonna make me sleep -hic- just because I had a little fun?"
"Yea, he most definitely is." Dr. Shephard answered with a smile.
"Well, what does Jack say about that?" She asked.
Was she serious? She really did have too much to drink, Jack thought to himself. Thinking that he and Dr. Shephard were two separate people was pretty bad, especially considering how well she knew him.
"I'm not sure. Why don't I go ask him?" Jack answered jokingly.
"Why would you have -hic- to ask him? He's you silly!" Kate giggled.
"Oh good, for a minute there, I thought you didn't know that and were going crazy." A relieved Jack said.
"Looks like I'm not the only one who had a little to much fun tonight." Kate said, continuing to giggle.
"Well in that case, we both better get to bed." Jack answered.
"OK, but only if Dr. Jack says so." With that, Jack picked Kate up in his arms, and led her up the stairs towards the spare bedroom with Kate's arms grasped around his neck.
"What did you have to drink anyway?" Jack asked to keep her occupied.
"Nooothing…just a few moooojiiiiitoooessss!!" Kate answered gleefully, smiling from ear to ear, her eyes glowing in her playful, drunken stupor.
"Well, remind me to never let you have to many of those again." Jack joked, laying her down in the bed. "Goodnight Kate, if you need anything just yell, I'm right across the hall."
Kate snuggled into the covers and yelled back, "Night Dr. Jack, love you." before drifting off into a peaceful sleep.
Jack had barely shut the door to Kate's new room when it hit him. Kate had said she loved him. She couldn't have meant it; she hadn't been able to put a coherent sentence together since dinner.
But maybe it was just subconscious for her?
What was he thinking, obviously she didn't love him, or she wouldn't have left him back on the island.
It didn't matter anyway, he was with Sarah now, and he was happy. At least, he thought he was.
Jack figured he'd keep it in the back of his mind, but he'd let it go for now. He was just happy that Kate had accepted his invitation to start over. Tabula Rasa he'd called it. Now that brought back memories.
A/N: That's it. please review, they are greatly appreciated. even if it's only a few words they're all appreciated. next chapter hopefully up by the end of the weekend.