Chapter Eleven

Nick.

"Just like your parents did Destiny."

So much changed after I said that sentence, yet not a word was spoken.

For me it was a relief, not only that I'd told Miley the truth but also that I'd spoken about my father something I refused to do since his death. That second of relief lasted just that, and without words Miley's eyes finally showed the truth. I saw the innocent little girl, the anger, the pain and most of all the fear that she tried to hide. It wasn't so much the choice I made that caused the next emotion, the guilt, it was my commitment in telling Miley the truth. I'd been brutal, forceful and it was not the way I'd planned to tell her, yet after I'd said it I knew there was no taking it back.

I tried to say something to help her, to just protect Miley and make her see that I cared, but the little girl in Miley acted before either of us could. Miley stepped back and rushed from the gym, leaving me motionless blinking at the space she'd left behind. It was only then, seeing the spot now vacant that I for a second glimpsed at what she must have felt like that day. One minute her parents were there in front of her, the next they were gone. It all happened so quickly, so suddenly and the events that occurred couldn't be changed. What was done was done now all that was left was the aftermath.

"You didn't come home last night…" Joe proclaimed.

I didn't move my head which was buried in my hands hiding the physical pain I was now feeling from my lost brains response to the overload of emotions yesterday.

"I went out," I murmured my head aching,

"Out? You should have told me, I got worried-"

"You're not my mom! I don't have a curfew!" I retorted not thinking.

"No I'm your brother, you could have called," Joe spat, "I was-"

"Fuck off Joe," I spat looking up at him,

I instantly snapped my eyes closed wincing at the brightness of the florescent lights that were far too illuminated for my brain to deal with. I did however catch sight of my confused older brother, who was instantly on me like a bird of prey,

"You're drunk!" He hissed through gritted teeth,

"I was drunk, now I'm more hung over."

"Nick," Joe stated right in my ear as I winced again, "What the hell? What happened? Why didn't you come home last night?"

"Just leave me alone,"

"No, not when your-"

"I said fuck off Joe." I yelled a little too loudly,

I looked up my eyes staring into his, glaring at him trying to send a message that today was not the day he should mess with me. Joe just looked at me disappointed and shook his head,

"Wow way to treat your brother on his birthday,"

I instantly groaned shaking my head, shit "Joe I'm-"

"Don't bother, clearly you're still the selfish prick like you always have been."

I let out another groan dropping my head onto the table as I felt eyes watching me. I turned finding Demi sitting at her desk, Selena perched on the corner both of them staring at me with raised eyebrows.

"That was lovely Nick," Selena murmured rolling her eyes, "Real mature-"

"Fuck off you slut-"

"Nick, stop." Demi stated looking at me, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Her eyes looked into mine confused as I felt the pain seeping into the wounds I honestly thought had healed. I'd moved on from losing my dad, but seeing Miley still so desperate to hold on, to protect the memories of her parents so no one would see made me wonder if I was doing the same. It took her expression yesterday to make me see that I was avoiding my own mom because unlike Miley I didn't want a reminder of the past and as cruel as it was that's all my mom was now, a reminder of my father. A man I'd hated when he left for war, a man who I'd told bluntly in a final sentence that I hoped he'd die there for cheating on my mom, and my wish came true. I'd moved on, I'd dealt, but had I?

"Nick? Are you okay?" Demi asked as I blinked,

I found both girls now looking at me wide eyed and confused as I nodded,

"I'm fucking perfect."

"Nick are you…" Demi's voice trailed off as I looked over to her,

Demi and Selena were now focused elsewhere their eyes now even more bewildered as I looked up. I only had a second to glimpse at her broken expression, my body acting as I got to my feet grabbing her arm as she instantly tensed scared…she was scared of me now?

"Miley please" I begged.

"Let me go," She whispered keeping her head down, her eyes on the floor.

"Miley-"

She pulled her arm back and rushed forward heading down the hallway, leaving me once again standing there looking at an empty space. A second later is was filled though with two females whose faces burned with rage,

"What did you do to her?"

"How could you- I told you to be careful she-"

"I can believe you did this Nick after everything, I thought you liked her-"

I put my hands up blocking them from attacking me, "Just stop okay, I can't deal with this right now…" I announced my eyes gazing through them as I pushed past, "I need to make sure she passes…" I hesitated closing my eyes, "Or I will never forgive myself."

I walked away knowing that I made the mistake in assuming their would be a right time to tell Miley I knew the truth, because there never would have been. Yet I managed to choose the night before her career dependant testing to break the news that maybe I should have kept to myself.

Maybe I was selfish that I didn't want to hold the truth from her, that I couldn't handle the burden, but as I drowned my sorrows I realized something else that really scared me. I cared for her, I genuinely was concerned for Miley in ways I didn't think were possible, not since my dad died anyway. And even if I'd ruined our relationship I wouldn't let her throw the one chance she had at proving the world she was just as brave as her parents were. I wanted to make sure she became a cop, even if was the last thing I ever did for her.

Miley.

"You will have two hours to complete the exam, all questions must be answered within the space provided. If you are caught cheating in any form you will automatically fail."

I stared at my uncle who was reading the regulations out to me, my mind absently drifting away not listening or processing the words he was saying. Instead I was spending my final few minutes before the commencement of the written assessment dreading what would happen after today. My whole life I'd kept secrets trying to hide my true identity so I didn't have to deal with the pain. I hated being treated differently, I always had hated it from the beginning because no one ever looked at me and simple smiled. The looks I got when I was little scarred me for life, because after my parents died all I got from those around me was quivering lips and shaking heads.

I didn't want anyone's sympathy, the watery eyes or the polite rubs on the back. I hated that! So I'd changed my name to my nickname to get away from it, to get away from dealing with all the eyes that never stopped staring.

But now someone knew…

Not someone, Nick, the one person I didn't want to stare at me differently.

Yet he did. Last night he'd looked at me like I was broken

The smirks would be gone now. The smiles replaced with fake ones, and the flirting comments we'd exchanged would become nothing more than compliments and carefully constructed sentences. I should have to said something yesterday, anything, but I was so scared because as soon as he said it I realized. The look in his eyes that I hadn't understood, that was sympathy, and he'd known for a while. So instead of facing him, I ran like the emotional child I still was.

"Miley!" My uncle screeched,

I looked up confused, "What?"

"Do you accept these conditions?" He repeated through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, yeah I do."

"Then you may start the examination."

The booklet was dropped on my desk as my uncle gave me one last look before exiting the room slamming the door. The room was small, white and very much a prison. I closed my eyes trying to get myself into the right state of mind as I opened the booklet.

I was thankful as I read through the questions that my brain automatically pushed everything else aside. The pen in my fingers moved swiftly along the page, giving detailed responses that I was even surprised I knew. After a month it appeared Demi was right, I was ready, I knew this and I had no doubt I would pass today, the question was would they let me?

I kept writing my mind drifting wondering and trying to understand. How long had Nick known? Had my Uncle told him, how else would he have found out? And more importantly who else had Nick told about my parents?

I was surprised when the door opened to say the least as my uncle stared at me,

"Time's up."

My eyes instantly looked at my watch, "What? No it's not I have another fifteen-"

The paper was snatched off my desk and I scoffed throwing back my chair, "Good thing I was already finished right?" I hissed glaring at my Uncle who just looked at me, his lips in a thin line. "And I wrote in pen, you can't erase my answers."

I walked past Jason as I heard him huff in frustration. I only made it one step into the hallway before I was faced by the Chief, "What? Do neither of you have actual work to do today? So you're following me around and becoming my judge and jury?" I asked furiously.

"Exactly," The Chief stated, "I'm keeping the Judge in check,"

"Well you're doing a shit job, I thought the exam went for two hours."

I stared at the Chief holding up my watch as his expression feel, "I'm not a idiot, I can read the time" I hissed at him, "I'm not gonna fail I can tell you that now."

I pushed past him as I walked away with a purpose,

"Shooting Miley,"

"Already going their Jason," I snapped.

My anger reflected well for the shooting and target practice. I killed the major threats, wounded the dangerous and avoided the innocent cardboard and foam people. My straight on target practice was just as perfect, I hit the heart and head from twenty feet without a hitch. I was impressed with myself by then as I turned to see the Chief, my Uncle and a few of the board members watching carefully.

"You should have made a target look like you Jason." I announced walking out unloading my gun smiling, "Then I could have killed you and-"

"Miley enough," The Chief whispered,

I laughed putting down the gun staring at them, "No, it'll never be enough! Just like I'll be never good enough for you." I responded staring at Jason,

He huffed yet again looking at me, "Miley-"

"Don't bother, I don't want to hear your lies."

"Gymnasium." Chief murmured

"And don't even think about talking to your friends!" Jason announced.

I couldn't help but give a confused look to him as I walked off. I expected maybe Nick and Demi would watch but the way he said it, I felt like there were more than a few. I went and got changed taking my time as I tried to get myself into the right mind set yet all I could think about was Nick. What if he was actually there? God I wouldn't be able to concentrate! Just seeing his face, the sympathy, it made me feel sick and so small.

A knocking fell on the door as I turned around,

"Miley hurry up, we don't have all day." The Chief proclaimed.

"I'm coming okay?"

I stretched my arms as I walked out to find the Chief who escorted me into the gym. My eyes however instantly found out what my Uncle's definition of friends was. It meant anyone who was presently in the office on lunch break, which was probably about thirty.

"Shit,"

"Seems like you have a few fans." The Chief stated giving me a look, "And to think your Uncle believes you're a bit of a loner"

"I used to be, but I like these people, they are my friends."

He gave me a nod, "Well good luck, you'll do fine I'm sure."

"Thanks,"

I couldn't help it though, so many people one of which could have told everyone who I was. I didn't want to even glance in their direction as the fear in me was escalating quickly. I had to get rid of it, my parents didn't believe in fear I just had to push it away. I looked instead at the board with my Uncle perched directly in the middle his eyes skimming me unresponsive,

"Okay we will begin with fitness testing."

This had been the easiest component with Nick; I wasn't exactly fit in the beginning yet I knew I was now. The running came easily and so did the other procedures that I went through, it was the combat that I now was freaking out about. I couldn't concentrate and that was scaring me, I had to be able to think straight but with all those eyes judging me, staring at me with sympathy, I couldn't deal with that.

When it came time to prepare for it I felt myself standing their frozen staring at my drink bottle,

"Miley?"

"Miley!"

I turned looking at Kevin who was in his gym gear, "Are you okay?"

My eyes looked into to his and I instantly felt scared turning away, what if I saw the sympathy? "I'm fine, I just…" I shook my head moving away,

"Miley are you sure you seem-"

I just nodded feeling embarrassed, "I'm fighting you?"

"Yeah, I know I wasn't too happy about it either." He announced as I looked to see a small smile across his face, "Supposedly no one wanted to come up against you, I think they're all scared actually."

I just nodded running my hand through my hair,

"Are you sure you're okay?" He repeated.

I couldn't help it I stared at Kevin securely this time, and was thankful when I found concern but not sympathy. I motioned my arm to the glass where everyone was located, "I…" I let out a sigh, "I don't cope well with people watching me, because I can't concentrate with them all staring, let alone having a whole panel trying to find all my imperfections."

Kevin just looked at me and shrugged, "You'll be fine!"

"I hope so,"

"Okay are we ready to begin?" My Uncle asked,

I nodded taking centre stage with Kevin. I was relieved when they asked me to do the simple tasks first, disarming I could do, showing how to arrest people, those were all simple but then the instruction I'd been dreading came.

"Hand on hand combat."

Nick…that's all I could think of

I don't know what happened honestly, I was so lost in my thoughts about Nick next thing I knew Kevin had me in a headlock. In real time, I'd be dead. I knew that was the first and worst flaw I could have made as Kevin let go of me giving a very bewildered look as I closed my eyes chewing on my lip. The order came to do another hand on hand combat, my confidence was stricken and when I was yet again beaten I felt everything in me just drop. I had one more shot and that was it, third attempt or I failed this section and most likely the entire exam.

"I need a break," I felt myself proclaim.

I turned to my Uncle who was trying to hide the relief that I was falling apart but failing miserable. He just shook his head staring down, "No that's not protocol,"

"Neither is doing your entire testing in one day." I retorted, "I want a break."

"I said no Miley!"

"I don't care! I want a break!"

"You take a break and you fail, simple as that"

"I take a break or you never see me again Jason!" I yelled.

It was at that moment the entire board looked down at their sheets, whether it was to write automatic fail or to avoid the family conflict I wasn't sure. However I could see Kevin's eyes widening by the second at my disrespectful approach to speaking to the Commissioner.

"Look she has a point," The Chief announced look at the board, "Miley deserves one break at least, she's already complete two out of four sections, we should have discussed the fact a break would be needed. I will agree to her proposition,"

The Chief stared down a few members and I wanted to thank him so badly. A few began to nod as he turned back to me, "Ten minutes-"

"One minute, that's it." Jason spat,

"Jason-"

"I accept that," I stated simply.

I instantly went for my drink bottle splashing the water into my mouth closing my eyes. I felt Kevin beside me and I turned to see he was motioning with his hands towards Joe. I looked up and faced Nick as I went to turn away only to see his eyes staring at me angry,

"What are you doing?" His lips asked soundlessly,

I looked at him deflated shrugging as he just glared at me fuming,

"You're going to give up?"

I yet again shrugged as he pointed his finger at me, "You need to do this Miley," I stared at him silently trying to find the sympathy, yet it wasn't there. He was mad instead at me for almost throwing this away,

"You need to this for yourself, for me…for them Miley!"

He said it so slowly there was no way I could have interpreted it any other way. I nodded in agreement because he was right, I had to do this, everything depended on this moment and I wouldn't let myself fail. I looked to Kevin suddenly noting Nick was the only person left, they were all gone, every single one.

"Oh thank god," I murmured,

Kevin smiled at me, "I don't think Nick's going to be as easily convinced."

I turned back to Nick who was still glaring, "No, I guess not."

"Time."

This time when I retook my position I let myself breathe, to concentrate knowing the eyes were gone. I looked at Kevin, planning my movements thinking ahead and the second I was told to begin it took exactly five seconds before I had Kevin at my disposal. I looked to see my uncle's jaw clench as the Chief smiled,

"Now let's move on,"

After another forty minutes I'd overcome the feelings and Kevin in the process. Nick still watched intently his earlier rigid appearance easing as I continually disarmed, defeated and damaged his older brother. When they finally stopped I was in the perfect mode for the psych aspect. Kevin left looking frustrated but thankful I wouldn't hit him anymore as I was faced with the board and my questions were simple, how I'd handle a situation, what would I do if this occurred, all stuff I knew from being under cover really…

"Why do you want to become a cop Miley?"

The question although not on the normal criteria I'd expected. I'd considered lying but I knew I had to stay confident. I had to say this and be seen as emotionally stable even if I wasn't entirely.

"Because of my parents." I announced looking at my Uncle directly.

I took a moment before continuing. "I want to be like them, and yes that may sound like a conflict of interest considering they died but it was their dedication that encouraged me to pursue this job. I want to help like they did, to protect the innocent and condemn the guilty. They were the bravest people I've ever known and if I become half of them I know I'll be a good cop, even if others have their doubts my mind is set on this."

"Clearly," The chief murmured.

"And may I add that if you don't accept me I applied yesterday to move to California where their testing is next week." I proclaimed still staring at my Uncle, "So if you fail me like I know you most likely will, just think about the consequences and I'm not talking personal, but professional. I know I'm a good cop, hell I was the best in my year, I was chosen to go under cover or did you forget that? I will become an officer, whether it's here in New York is your decision because I'm happy to cut personal ties to pursue my dream."

"Okay thank you Miley," The Chief stated awkwardly,

With one last look I left knowing I'd put this in my Uncle hands, now he just had to decide whether to let me go, or hold on to the one thing he had left of his brother and sister in law.

I walked out of the gymnasium and gazed around expecting to find Nick but he was gone. I felt something in me chock at the idea he'd left me here, he couldn't even face me now?

I felt my eyes watering as I tried to pull myself together, I had to be brave, I had to be strong, I had to be like my parents. I wiped under my eyes taking in a breath as the door opened behind me and I spun to face the Chief who had a huge smile across his face,

"Welcome to the force little miss Miley, congratulations."

A/N Sorry about the lengthy paragraphs! They didn't so big when I was writing them! Now onto Joe's party :D