Chapter Twelve

Miley.

"Okay let's see it again…"

I grinned holding out the badge that was officially mine as Demi jumped up and down giggling her arms rushing and wrapping around me. I hugged her back unable to explain to Demi how much her chirpy attitude was easing my fears. She didn't know, no one did except Nick and I was thankful that he'd kept his mouth shut even if his eyes said other wise.

"I'm so proud Miley, I knew you could do it!" She stated excited.

"I couldn't have done it without you!"

"Sure you could have!" She let go of me grinning at me proudly, something I wished Jason and Amy would do, "And now tonight we can celebrate until the sunrises at Joe's."

I felt my smile drop as Demi just glared at me, "Don't give me that look Miley,"

"What look?"

"The one I gave her this exact night last year…" Selena proclaimed,

I leaned back on Selena's sofa as she put down two drinks before us as I gave her an intrigued look and she winked, "A little get up and go before the party," She murmured giving me a small smile, "You need it, after…everything."

My face dropped even further as I grabbed the drink and pressed it to my lips sculling the entire glass wanting nothing more than to mute my thoughts and ease my emotions. The second I finished Selena looked at me and gently took the glass from my fingers giving a sigh,

"I'm gonna make you another, maybe this one a little stronger…"

"Thanks," I whispered, "I really need it."

"No problem, but you need to tell us what's going on Miley."

"Yeah what has the fucking idiot done now?" Demi asked seriously, "Apart from breaking another heart clearly…"

I honestly don't know why I even agreed to come and get ready with the girls. I must have been dazed because once I left the gymnasium and re-entered the office clearly the exhaustion kicked in seeing as the next hour or so was a complete and utter blur. All I could clearly think about was Nick and his influence on my thoughts, questions and emotions were blinding to the point where I'd some how agreed to come over to Selena's to prepare for Joe's party.

"I don't want to talk about it…" I whispered staring down at my badge,

I traced my fingers over the gold texture as Demi's hand moved gently over mine squeezing my hand. "Miley you can talk to us okay, last year on Joe's birthday I had Selena in tears because of that boy so trust me you can tell us both anything and we will understand because-"

"We've already been through it," Selena proclaimed, "Well I have."

She handed me another drink sitting down as they both looked at me expectantly and I closed my eyes sighing. I didn't want to tell them anything because there wasn't a lot I could say without giving them full context and therefore my life story. One day I would tell them, but not today.

"He didn't do anything wrong-"

Selena snorted, "Oh I'm sure he didn't," She murmured sarcastically,

"He didn't,"

"Then what happened?"

I looked up shrugging, "He lied to me."

"About what?"

I clasped the drink closing my eyes, "Something I really don't want to talk about."

I put as much emphasis as I could into it, and when Demi wrapped her arm around my shoulders I knew for the time being the questions about what happened would cease.

"Okay the more important question is tonight, how are we going to play it?"

I turned to Demi confused as she stared at me, "Do you want us to make sure he doesn't come near you?" She asked giving me a look, "Because you know Sel and me we're cops and we have tasers so if you need us to take them tonight and be your bodyguard then trust me, I will take joy in bringing that boy to the floor."

I couldn't help but smile, "No don't do that," I whispered, "It's fine,"

"I know you're lying but okay. What about if we see him talking to you-"

"I'm not going to talk to him." I cut Selena off,

"At all?"

I shook my head, "No, I don't know what to say to him at the moment."

"Okay then, Selena and me will observe and-"

"And judge the situation for me." I stated looking between them, "You know Nick better than I do, can you just use your skillful cop talents and friendship instinct to assess what kind of mind state he's in at the moment?"

"Funny you should say that…" Selena murmured,

"Why?"

Demi looked at Selena uneasily turning back to me, "Nick asked us to do the same thing for you while you were doing your psych evaluation," Demi responded as I looked at her and she shook her head, "Don't worry we both told him to get fucked-"

"He what?" I hissed,

Demi sighed, "Nick just asked both of us if we could watch out for you tonight because you were going through a hard time and to make sure you didn't get yourself into any troublesome situations," She stated as I looked at her confused,

"He cares about you Miley," Selena stated sighing, "A lot."

I clenched my jaw as she looked at me, "And for you to ask us almost the exact same question it kind of implies you clearly like him more than you're letting on to us, or to him for that matter." Demi shot Selena a warning look, but I knew she was right, I just didn't want to admit that I really did care what Nick thought about me. I loved how he grinned at me and how Nick just knew what to say to make me feel normal and happy. The concept of losing that Nick scared me and I was already questioning whether I'd lost him a few weeks ago now, when he learned the truth.

"I think I'm in love with him."

The second I said it I felt like one little piece of weight was lifted off my shoulders, because I'd kept it to myself just like everything else for so long and opening up was hard yet it did help. It meant I wasn't alone in deciding what to do now. I'd never been in love, I didn't know how to deal with it. I needed help.

"Love's a strong word Miley." Demi responded instantly,

"Which, by the look in her eyes is completely the right word." Selena hissed.

Instantly both of them were staring into my eyes Selena slightly open mouthed while Demi just looked confused,

"When did this escalate to love? Last time we talked you just liked him!" She spat,

I just shook my head, "I don't know, maybe I'm not in love-"

"Well does it feel like…wait you have been in love with someone before right?"

They both yet again stared at me with intimidating eyes as I bit my lip, Demi instantly groaned as Selena looked at me sympathetically. "Oh Miley I feel for you, I really do, Nick is not the boy you want to love with first trust me you could do so much better than that hun." Selena stated,

"More to the point why haven't you been in love before, you're-"

"Extremely attractive." Selena finished.

"I'm not great at making emotional ties, to anyone."

"Oh," Selena stated frowning, "You have commitment issues then."

I wanted to disagree, I mean that was partly the problem but unlike the rest of the world I'd already lost so much. To me it was a risk to love, to have a friendship because in the back of mind there was always a fear that I tried so hard to push away yet I was faced with the question of what if something happened to them? I barely survived losing my parents. I was scared to love another in case I lost them too.

"Love…" Demi whispered shaking her head amazed, "You're in love with him."

Selena frowned looking at Demi, "Nick's changed you realise?"

Demi considered Selena's announcement for a moment and nodded, "Yeah he has, quite a bit, I mean he was nice to Miley from the get go while all of us he was a complete-"

"Jerk and-"

"He buys her lunch-"

"He would never have done that for me, plus he told us to look out for her-"

"When has he ever cared about a girl like that? He loves drunken girls just as much as Joe does yet he's warning us to make sure she doesn't end up like that? The one girl Nick wants, he wants completely sober, it doesn't make sense unless"

Both of them turned back to me as Demi smiled, "I think he loves her too."

I just stared at them trying to catch up to how they'd come to that conclusion but my heart responded with a stupid question before my brain could muster up a smart way to respond

"Really?" I whispered hopeful biting my lip,

Both of them stared at me wide eyed, "Oh my god, you are in love!" Demi spat jumping up looking at me like I had a disease, "How did I not see this sooner?"

"Hey I didn't notice either,"

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked seriously, "Because…I don't know what to say to him after what happened I just, I feel sick when ever I see him."

"I honestly don't know,"

"Me either," Selena murmured, "Because for once this isn't one sided."

"And we know Nick, but the Nick you know is different."

"Which means I don't think we can help you."

"So what am I supposed to do?" I whispered,

Selena nudged the drink, "Liquid courage, it's your best bet."

Nick.

Joe's party in my mind had gone a full circle…

When he announced it without my knowledge I was pissed, especially after how crazy last year had been and the mess I still seemed to be cleaning up. But then I found out about what Miley was going to be wearing and at that point although I didn't want any other eyes but mine on her I was kind of thankful that my brother was an open man whore because it gave me opportunity, that was last week. This week I was back to dreading it and as I sat on the sofa in my shorts holding a beer gazing at my bother doing body shots I realized how much I was actually hating this party,

I just wanted to be with Miley in a quiet space so I could talk, really talk,

"Deciding which girl looks the easiest?"

Kevin flopped onto the couch beside me as I pressed the bottle to my lips,

"I'm not Joe Kevin,"

"You cheated on Selena last year on his birthday-"

"I was drunk,"

"That's no excuse and you know it."

I stared at my older brother and took another swig of the bitter taste swallowing it. I hadn't planned on drinking, not after how hung over I was this morning but sitting here all I could think about was making things right with Miley and I just needed the distraction, like last night…

"Rumor has it you had an altercation with Miley today, another name I guess…"

"What?" I spat,

Kevin stared at me with a disgusted look in his eyes, "Another name on your list of unsuccessful conquests." He spat shaking his head, "You've changed so much Nick, ever since dad died you've just been so much like-"

"Take your top off!" My brother slurred standing on a table,

"Joe," Kevin finished disgruntled,

Joe jumped off the table chasing a squealing blonde who was endowed in all the right places as I looked back to Kevin, "Before mom and dad got divorced you wanted to be a big time cop, you wanted a family and a white picket fence, the American dream. I know you're twenty one Nick but God ever since dad died you have gone through women like Kleenex, use them once and throw them away, it's like you're using them to mourn dad."

I bit my tongue as Kevin sighed, "I know it's hard I mean you're the youngest, Joe and me at least got to know him you were only ten Nick. I know you feel guilty about what you said to dad but he knew you were upset, he knew you didn't mean it."

'But at that time I did Kevin, I wanted him dead for hurting mom and now he is…"

I looked at my brother and shook my head, "At least you said goodbye, I said I hope you die…" I murmured, "And I can't take it back."

"No you can't, but you can make it right."

"How?" I spat,

"Make dad proud, be the man you wanted to be as a kid."

Kevin stood up giving me a weak smile, "I know for a fact that little Nick is still there, because for the first time in eleven years I saw him again, when you were training with Miley. Just think about it…okay?"

Kevin moved away as I sat there for a moment dwelling on the words he'd just said. Was Kevin right? Did I really treat women like that just because I was trying to avoid emotional ties due to dad? I pushed the thoughts away as I heard the door fly open and slam against the wall,

"JOE!" A familiar voice literally screamed, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

My head snapped across as Miley with two giant badly constructed lunges jumped onto my brother hugging him. I blinked a few times to make sure I actually wasn't seeing things, but it was definitely Miley it her underwear looking sexy as hell but also very very intoxicated. My eyes spun anger blossoming in my chest as I saw the two people I knew were to blame,

"What the fuck?" The words spilled from my mouth as I headed towards them,

I pushed past a few girl who's bra's seemed to be getting smaller by the second as Selena's smiling face found mine, her lips dropping in a heartbeat. I looked at her ready to kill as she slapped Demi's arm who turned confused as I pointed my finger taking the final few feet,

"What the fuck? I asked you to look after her not-"

"We didn't say we would!" Selena responded glaring,

"She's your friend you're-"

"We're not her parents!"

"She doesn't have…" I stopped closing my eyes letting out a sigh, "Look I asked you simply to make sure she didn't get intro any trouble and-"

"She's not," Demi stated pointing behind me,

I turned looking at Miley jumping up and down on the couch with Joe and a few other girls as I noticed the attention she now had on her. I had to admit though, she was happy, actually truly happy something I hadn't seen in too long. I turned back to see both girls staring at me,

"What?" I spat at them,

"Your so jealous it's actually scary,"

"I'm not-"

"WHO WANTS DOPE?"

My eyes widened as I spun to see my brother holding up what appeared to be a bag of the illegal grass substance. I instantly put both my hands on my head, my mouth just opened as I stared at him in complete shock, we hadn't done dope since we were in high school! What the hell was he doing with it now?

"I DO!" Miley yelled looking at Joe excited,

"Are you kidding me?" I spat staring at my brother, "Where did you even get that from?"

"Evidence lock up-"

"Oh my god Joe," I groaned,

He laughed drunkenly holding out the bag as the party goers instantly swarmed, while I turned back to see the girls smiling at me, "Come on Nick loosen up a little, look Joe's happy, Miley's happy why don't-"

"No, she isn't going to get high-"

Demi patted my arm smiling at me, "Well you watch her if you care so much and see if you can solve the little riff you two have going on while you're at it. But beware…" Demi continued as I frowned, "Miley isn't like the other girls-"

"And you think I don't know that."

"No we know you do, just remember that." Selena proclaimed,

I huffed and turned around as Demi laughed, "He didn't even look at us," I heard her whisper in a tone only meant for Selena, "Nick didn't even glance down, all he is seeing right now is-"

"Her, I know. Maybe he does really love her."

I turned ready to explode only to find both of them gone from sight mixing amongst the packed room. I pushed my way through the room heading towards the weed stash only to find it was now being rolled, and lit which my brother was proudly doing. I glared at him knowing this party was either going to end when our older most experienced colleagues were called, or when they all crashed from their high into fits of tears.

I pushed through the girls a few of them grabbing at me as I just pushed them away finding the one I actually wanted, smoke trailing from her lips,

"No!" I yelled snatching the joint from her fingers,

"Hey!' She cried out lunging at me, "That's mine, give it back!"

I dropped it to ground smashing it with the base of my foot as Miley looked at me with raging eyes, "You can't tell me what to do!" She yelled directly in my face, like a child throwing a tantrum, "You're not my parents they're-" I slammed my hand across her mouth as I stared into her eyes,

"Don't, you may not remember this tomorrow, but the people around you will."

Miley shoved me away looking disoriented, "Fuck off liar!"

She turned and headed towards the girls dancing on one of our kitchen benches as I closed my eyes. Could this get any worse? I sighed and turned to find Kevin's eyes watching me as he smirked,

"Can't way to see how this story ends-"

"Hopefully no ones dead." I snapped at him glaring.

I returned to the sofa, resorting to another beer as I glared up at the dancing girls. Over the next half an hour the music got louder, the smoke got worse and the clothing seemed to start dropping. Last year in my drunken state I remembered enjoying watching a naked girl and then kissing her in front of my girlfriend, tonight though I couldn't even have a second glance without feeling disgusted by them. My eyes instead continually followed Miley who had been seductively dancing up against our kitchen fridge for about ten minutes, and had drawn many eyes with the outfit she almost wasn't wearing.

"Someone's having fun-"

"Fuck off Selena," I murmured my eyes still on Miley,

"Look I just-"

I watched as some dirty slime ball officer placed his hand on Miley's thigh and I just snapped. I pushed past Selena not even glancing at her heading towards the kitchen to take Miley away from the situation she'd put herself in,

"Miley let's go!" I announced,

I stepped in grabbing her upper arm pulling her like a rag doll as I pushed a brunette into her place the man seemingly not even noticing. Miley looked at me a grin spreading across her face,

"Hey Nick," She giggled looking at me,

"Hey Miley, how about we go talk?"

Miley looked at me and bit her lip nodding, "Can I kiss you instead?"

"No-"

"Why not?" She yelled suddenly angry like I'd flicked some imaginary switch,

"Because you're drunk and high,"

"I'm fine,"

"No your not, come on let's talk-"

I pulled her through the room heading towards my bedroom deciding that Miley would thank me for this tomorrow, even if she didn't now. I saw Selena giving me a warning look, which simple meant don't, as I shook my head. My intentions with Miley tonight were simple, she was going to sit in my room until she came down from her high and fell asleep in a bed that was safe instead of someone's she didn't even know.

"It's dark down here Nick, can you carry me?" She suddenly announced giggling again. I stared at her realizing clearly Miley's logic was completely gone as well as her control on her emotions.

"No, you can walk-"

"Where we going? You're not taking me to Jason are you?"

"No I'm not Miley."

"Then where are we going?"

"My bedroom,"

She instantly stopped moving and stared at me completely fazed as I stared into her eyes for a second trying to read what she was thinking, only for the tense expression to fade as she nodded.

"Okay, I trust you."

"I know,"

I opened the door flicking on the light, as I turned back to Miley who suddenly wrapped her arms around my neck. She looked directly at me with a childish grin spread across her face a hopeful look in her eyes,

"Do you love me?" She asked seriously,

I opened my mouth to respond, but found myself choke up as I stared at her because I didn't know whether to tell her knowing she wouldn't remember it tomorrow anyway. If I said Yes, I wanted her to remember it, I wanted Miley to be at that moment, there with me not like this. Instantly Miley's expression fell,

"You don't love me?" She whispered.

"Miley-"

"No one loves me!" She spat her arms dropping as she pushed past me, I closed the door deicing to lock it as I turned back to find her sitting on my bed,

"Your uncle and aunt love you-"

Miley shook her head, "No they don't, not the way I want them too!" She whispered closing her eyes as I moved over watching her fingers trembling, "It's not fair Nick, nothing in my life is fair…"

I reached out taking her hand as she looked at me with tears in her eyes,

"I want you to love me, like I love you Nick." She whispered her lip trembling, "But you never will, because you know and that changes everything. No one treats me the same, the smiles are fake, no one can love me if they know because all they see is poor little Destiny whose parents died and who we should all feel sympathetic and be nice too because she doesn't have parents anyone."

It was one of those moments I wanted to keep, yet forget. She loved me, something I didn't know yet had assumed by her reaction. I wanted to keep that moment but the words that followed scared me,

"Miley I lost my dad too, I get those looks I won't change-"

"You already did." She whispered the first tear falling,

"How so?"

"You lied, and you have sympathy in your eyes now."

I reached out brushing the tears away as she looked at me, "It's not sympathy Miley, it's concern and not because of your parents but because I care about you. A lot. I don't want to see you hurting like this," I whispered,

Her eyes fell closed as more tears spilled down her cheeks, "No one understands…"

"No one ever will, and I'm not going to try Miley."

"I miss them so much Nick."

She opened her eyes again, as I saw the little girl. Eight-year-old Destiny stared at me with her lip trembling and big tear filled eyes as I cupped her cheek taking her shaking hands in my own,

"I know you do Miley and you're allowed to miss them."

"But I'm not allowed to hold onto them, that's what Jason says…"

Miley let out a small scared breath sniffling, "But if I let them go, I'll have no one left that loved the real me and I don't want to be little Destiny who everyone feels sorry for, I want to be Miley that is just normal and has parents who are just always at work and are going to come home…" Miley announced staring at me, "They're going to come back,"

"Miley-"

"I know they will, they have too."

I looked at her broken expression and I didn't know what to say,

"Don't leave me too," She suddenly announced more tears falling, "Because I love you and I don't want you disappearing too without saying goodbye."

I tried to smile but it was so hard, "Well…I'm not going anywhere."

Miley nodded frowning, "You promise?"

"I promise, I'm not going anywhere."

She seemed to relax a little as her eyes started to droop,

"Don't leave-"

"I won't Miley, I promise-"

"Please don't leave me here."

"I'm not." I repeated.

"Don't," Miley's voice whispered her eyes falling shut,

Miley's unconscious body slumped down onto mine as I wrapped my arms around her feeling my heart break. I held her against me and made a promise that I would never, ever look again at her with sympathy because of her parents. She was Miley, she was normal, and she deserved a life that was happy something she'd never had.

"I won't leave," I repeated kissing her forehead "I promise I won't Miley."

AN: Hey guys, probably not that party you expected but hope you enjoyed it :) If you read Hurricane I'll try to update it this week as I haven't written the chapter for that or SOSN so it'll be a while :(

Side note who watched the Oscars? What was your fav moment? Got to love JLaw falling up the stairs at basically the biggest moment of her life!