Chapter Twenty-Five

Miley.

I just stood there.

I didn't feel right.

Nothing seemed to be making sense.

I looked down at Nick watching a silent scene unfold before me. People I knew around his bloody broken body, their open mouths screaming yet I didn't hear a word. There was just nothing. I felt the longing still, to be close to Nick, to save him, but I wasn't capable of putting those feelings into actions. I was frozen.

I just stood there and watched.

I watched because I had no idea what to do.

I didn't know how to deal with this.

I blinked my eyes still blurry, staring at the people around me. They were all vague in appearance, constantly shifting making me confused. I knew they were familiar, I knew all their names, but at the same time I felt like I'd never seen them before. They all looked so different, crying, panicked and running. I blinked again hoping this would stop, but nothing changed. My eyes became fuzzy again, one color the only clear focus.

I could see red everywhere. The floor. The walls. The desks. The bodies.

I was covered in red.

I didn't understand. I didn't want to understand. I just wanted it to stop.

A figure suddenly filled my frame, blocking the view of Nick. Round wet lips spoke to me slowly, a hand gently touching my arm. Another outline appeared and something was delicately slipped from my outstretched hand, which was then lowered to my side. I looked at the two sets of eyes, both of them panicked and staring at me one concerned, the other confused. Finally one set disappeared leaving the worried pair behind.

Their fingers wrapped around my wrist and gently tugged. I didn't struggle and followed the movement, my view of the world suddenly changing. At that point murmurs returned, a faint white noise obscuring the silence.

It was like before. I'd felt like this before. I remembered.

My eyes had been focused on the sky then, waiting, waiting, waiting.

Now I stared at the outline waiting again, I just didn't know what for…

The person was male, after a while I could see features again. He had sat me down, I don't know when or where. He was becoming more worried, his eyes flickering around searching my face, looking for something. His hand was pressed against my head, a throbbing pain beginning to form. A metallic taste was lingering in my mouth, the pain beginning to get worse.

The sound was getting louder too, the white noise changing into muffled yells and screams. Sirens. I could hear sirens, just like that day.

The pair of eyes kept watching growing frantic, their lips moving as the words started to become audible again.

"Miley?"

"You're okay,"

"You saved us."

I didn't respond. I didn't want too.

Suddenly the eyes disappeared and the pressure against my painful head. I was alone. Waiting, waiting, waiting…

"Miley!" A voice screamed.

"She's over here, she's over here…something's wrong with her."

I looked ahead blankly a new figure rushing into my eyesight. I was instantly pulled into someone's arms the force painful but also comforting. "Oh thank God, oh thank God. You're okay. You're okay. I love you so much Miley." His voice sobbed holding me, a hand moving into my hair gripping me tightly like a child. "I love you so so so much."

"Sir, Sir, she's not responding to us. After she killed David she just froze up,"

"It's okay, it's okay…" He responded holding me tightly, "She's in shock, I'll bring her back. I've done it before. Just concentrate on the others. When there is a free medic get them over here."

"Yes Sir,"

I could hear clearly now, someone was shrieking, crying, yelling and sirens. I could feel the warmth surrounding my body, as I let out a breath knowing I was safe here. I closed my eyes and then reopened them focusing, my brain finally piecing it together.

"Jason?" I asked, my voice hoarse.

He let go of me sniffling. I stared at his wide white eyes, red brimming them and tears filled to their limits as he nodded, "Yeah Miley, yeah that's right. It's okay, I'm here now, I'm going to look after you. I'm always going to take care of you." I just stared at him my head pounding, I felt so sick.

I moved my eyes looking towards Nick,

"He's dead."

I could see Jason shaking his head, "No, no, honey he's not he-"

"He's dead."

"Miley he's-"

"Nick's dead."

"No-"

"They're all dead."

"Miley stop, they're-"

"My parents, they're dead too."

Jason pulled me back into his arms, forcing my eyes away from the bodies on the ground. "No, no Nick's not, don't say that. He's fighting. He's fighting for you okay?" Jason whispered my body swarming with emotions as I realized I was now shaking uncontrollable.

"I don't know Jason…" I cried terrified, "I don't know."

He let me go again, putting his hand on my neck keeping my eyes locked on his. My dad's eyes. I stared at him horrified, everything in me aching and screaming.

"I don't know what to do. I don't know. I don't know Jase."

Jason looked at me a few tears slipping, "You don't need to do anything. You already did so much, okay? You just need to breath and calm down." He responded to me slowly as I shook my head.

"I want this to stop. Make it go away."

Jason kissed the side of my head, "I can't, but I wish I could. I wish we could both forget, but we can't okay."

"Commissioner" A voice said close by,

Jason let go of me as I looked up at a middle-aged man in uniform, whose eyes instantly locked on mine. "She's in shock, I'm sure." Jason quickly explained stepping back, removing all connection. I cried reaching out as Jason quickly took both my hands holding them tightly.

"Yeah, yeah she definitely is her eyes are unfocused. Do you know her name?"

"Miley, she's my niece." Jason whispered.

The man leaned down next to me giving a bright smile. I closed my eyes looking away, "Miley," He called my name. I looked back staring at the still completely unclear face. "Hi I'm James I'm going to help you, we're going to get you to the hospital and fix your head." His voice was calm, soothing almost.

"Does she have any medical condition, has she been in shock before?"

The question was directed at Jason who I could see nodding, "No medical conditions, but she's been in shock before after her parents died. They died in 9/11" Jason stated carefully. I could hear the pain in his voice. "Her boyfriend was just shot in front of her. Nick Jonas."

The man looked at Jason pained then turned back to me, "Okay Miley I want you to do something for me okay?" I nodded unsure, "You are going to tell me about the happiest moment you had with your boyfriend and I'm going to clean that nasty cut on your head."

My mind raced, "I don't know, I don't know…" I whispered panicked.

Jason leaned down beside me with the man, James, his name was James.

"Hey it's okay, it'll help just tell me something about him you like." James stated really slowly as I looked to Jason and he squeezed my hand nodding.

"He didn't change." I whispered the first thing that came to my mind.

"He didn't change clothes?" James suggested confused as he pressed something wet against my forehead,

"No, no everyone looks at me different when they find out about my parents." I winced my head hurting, "Nick didn't change, he doesn't care. He loves me. He took me to the memorial on September 11, it was the first time I went on that day and I was so scared. I didn't know how to cope, and he taught me how to."

"Commissioner we need you," A voice yelled.

Jason looked at me and went to open his mouth. I stared at him and nodded,

"It's okay, I'll be okay here." I responded not feeling right but knowing that other people needed my Uncle more then I did right now. James looked at Jason who seemed unsure,

"She's coming back, she'll be okay Sir. I'll tell you when I'm taking her in."

"Okay, just, if anything happens-"

"Sir, Miley's okay. She's processing what's happened, that's all."

Jason nodded and leaned over kissing my cheek, "I love you, I'll be right back. You need to be brave." I nodded listening, my heart aching for Nick.

"I love you too,"

Jason just stared at me, finally giving a nod, his eyes calming. He understood I was okay now. Jason stood up and rushed away as James wiped my face gently. "So tell me about Nick? How long have you two been dating?" He asked as my chest ached, the sudden feeling of needing him.

Before I could consider it I stood up, and stepped forward only for James to grab me tightly. "Miley, Miley just sit down,"

"No, no, no" I whispered, "No I need to help. I need to be with him."

"Miley," He yelled at me loudly, "People are helping Nick, you need-"

"No, no!" I felt myself scream shaking my head, "I can help him. He helped me. I need to help him. I need to be with him. I need Nick. I need him." With each word the pain grew, my chest pounding as everything started to crash down on me. I couldn't cope with this, it hurt too much.

James held me tightly as I felt the sobs consume my body, and he slowly pulled me back into the chair. "Simon, Simon!" I heard James call, "Are you busy, I need help."

"What do you need?"

"Sedative, quickly,"

I screamed trying to break free from James who held me securely against him. I just wanted this pain to stop. I wanted Nick. I want everything back to what it was before. The prick came suddenly, the coldness sweeping up my veins. It took only seconds. I felt the calmness washing over me. I could still feel the pain linger it just didn't hurt now. It was gone for the time being.

"There we go, okay." James whispered, my body heavily collapsing into the chair, "The guy, over there, the head wound is he-"

"Been taken to hospital, she's next to go."

"The women, the one everyone was working on in the other room."

"Both her and the man are deceased." The new voice whispered, "Along with a women here, and another guy other there- they'll be more I'm sure."

"Okay, let's move this one and then we'll start...moving."

The words didn't really sink in for while. My mind was dazed and unresponsive. James helped me up and spoke to me asking simple questions, how old I was, what my job was, whether I liked it or not. I answered them not really thinking about what I was saying, giving little detail and keeping it brief. All I could think about was Nick, how much I wanted him, wondering what was happening, if they were helping him, if he was in pain.

I recognized what was happening when I was put in the ambulance. I could comprehend where I was going and why, but as a new person spoke to me I didn't respond. I just wanted to forget everything.

"Hey Miley, hun, I'm back." Jason's voice whispered.

His arm wrapped around my shoulders as he sat down beside me on the stretcher. I didn't say anything I just turned and buried my head into his t-shirt wanting to be blinded from what was around me.

"What happened?" Jason hissed confused holding me.

"We had sedate her, she wanted her boyfriend."

Jason sighed holding me kissing the side of my head. "You're going to be okay."

I wanted to disagree, but I was too exhausted. I just stayed close to my Uncle, feeling the vehicle move beneath me.

The next time I opened my eyes all the red was gone. Everything was white. The walls, the roof, the lights, and the clothes I'd be put in when I hadn't realized. The red was completely gone. Forgotten.

"JASON!" A voice screamed sobbing, "JASON WHERE IS SHE? PLEASE-"

"Stop Amy, stop, stop she's fine. She's okay. Miley's okay."

I felt an arm suddenly wrap around me once more, just as tightly as before. I looked up at my Aunt her face drenched in tears and fear. "Thank God Miley." She whispered touching my cheek delicately waiting for me to respond. I instead looked away from her staring at the white.

"She's in shock Amy. David, that monster, he shot Nick in front of her."

Amy's grip suddenly released, "Is he-"

"I don't know. I have no idea Amy."

My Aunt's breathing hastened, "Jason, she can't live without him, she can't-"

"I know that," Jason snapped sighing. "I know, but there is nothing I can do. It's too late. I can't change anything Amy. I can't do anything, neither of us can. We just need to help her the best we can, just like last time."

"She only just got over last time" Amy cried, "She'll never deal with this if he dies."

"Amy don't say-"

The door opened as I heard a new discussion begin, while I kept my mind distant from participating unwilling to bring myself back into a reality of what ifs. Fingers gently touched my head, then my throat examining the marks that were left behind. I didn't want to hear but the voice was loud next to me,

"I've read her file, it's pretty apparent this is severe emotional trauma, just like last time." A deep throated unfamiliar voice instructed, a bright light flashing in my eyes, "Other then that, she's fine, a little concussed but I honestly I think the best place for your niece right now is some place familiar. I want you to take her home, put her to bed and stay with her. Talk to her about stuff that doesn't matter, just keep her from completely collapsing and call me if anything changes in the next twenty-four hours."

"Okay, thank you doctor."

"I'll get you the release forms."

The door closed my fingers entwined with my Aunt's,

"Jason," She whispered, "What happened?"

"I don't know yet Amy. Let's just get her home then we'll try and work it out."

The car trip home was silent but as we stopped and started in the buzzing New York City morning traffic the sedative started to wear off. The agony was beginning to throb in my body once more, the pain seeping through my blood inch by inch. I analysed Jason the whole time on the way home, his hands were clenched on the steering wheel, lips pinched together and eyes blankly staring a head.

When he turned left at an intersection I felt anger blossoming.

"You're going the wrong way." My lips yelled at him.

Jason tensed as my Aunt held me closer, "Miley we're taking you home-"

"I want to go to my home. My home with Nick."

Jason swallowed and nodded, "Okay, if that's what you want we'll go there Miley." He whispered his face traced with fear.

"Jason," Amy warned.

"She wants to go there Amy."

I remained silent the rest of the journey home, my eyes watching the outside world waking up unbeknownst to the tragedy that had occurred during the night. Would it be reported on the news? Surely it would. That concept alone made me feel sick, memories surfacing as I focused my eyes trying to forget. I had to get rid of everything, every moment, every second and make this feeing stop. When I erased everything I'd feel better.

When I got to the apartment, my mind had come to a conclusion. The second the door opened I walked with a purpose,

"Miley, honey where are you going?" Amy asked panicked.

I kept walking past my bedroom towards the last door. My parent's bedroom.

I had to forget everything. Everyone.

"Miley…" Jason called out.

I didn't listen instead opening the door. I stopped standing there for a moment thinking about all the emotions I'd felt here, loss, despair, grief that was so blinding it consumed me. Yet now I looked at it as an obstacle, one I had to get rid of completely in order to feel nothing. I just want to stop the emotions all together knowing I couldn't handle them anymore.

"Miley, hun, what are you doing?" Jason asked beside me.

I didn't lose focus and swallowed my pain redirected to the cupboard opening it. I stood there and stared at the clothes feeling my body shaking. They needed to go, everything needed to go. I had to forget them. I moved my hands in and yanked the first bunch out throwing them on the floor. I didn't think, I just acted wanting it all gone. I never wanted to see any of this again, it hurt too much and I couldn't cope with it anymore. Everything that reminded me of them needed to be destroyed.

"Miley, Miley stop" Jason yelled grabbing me, "Miley, what are you doing? Miley."

Jason's arms held me as I struggled trying to break free, hearing my Aunt crying confused. "Miley stop, this isn't going to help!" Jase yelled in my ear as I screamed.

"It needs to go." I yelled breaking free, "Everything needs to disappear. I need to forget. I need to make this stop."

Jason didn't respond as I went back to pulling the clothes out my chest strained under the pressure I'd felt for so long. "I have to get rid of everything. I want to forget this happened. I need to forget they existed because I can't cope with this. I can't do this anymore. I just need everything to stop hurting." I tried to explain my Aunt's sobbing increasing.

"Amy, go call Denise." Jason whispered.

"What? How could she-"

"Trust me. Call Denise. This isn't about her parents. This is about Nick."

I was thankful when Amy left, leaving silence, my mind able to focus on what I was doing. Jason sat on the bed and just watched me intently. I finished with the clothes and moved to shoes, tossing them out of the cupboard not stopping to consider what I was doing. I just needed to keep going and eventually I'd be okay, I had to be okay because I didn't have Nick to help me anymore. I didn't know what to do without him here.

I took a moment once I finished with the cupboard to just stare. They were empty, yet I didn't feel any better. I had to do more.

I turned deciding to remove all the photos too just as the bedroom door opened. I didn't look up and instead I moved straight to the wall pulling the first photograph of my parents wedding and throwing it onto the ground. I listened to the glass shatter as I moved my hand up to the next one,

I'd barely clutched it when hands clasped mine pulling them down. I turned ready to scream only to stare blankly at the person before me.

Nick's mom. Denise looked at me with tear filled eyes. He was dead. She'd come to tell me that Nick was dead. Then suddenly my eyes focused on something else, the small smile on her lips. I didn't understand. Why was she smiling at me?

"Come here sweet heart, how about we sit down?" She asked me slowly.

I shook my head knowing what she would say next. I didn't want to hear it. "No, No I can't I need to get rid of everything." I responded.

Denise looked at me her eyes intense and sparkling bright like Nick's. Oh God Nick. My lip trembled and Denise put her hand on my shoulder. "No you don't, you're just panicking. How about we sit down and talk-"

"No!" I pulled my arm away from her closing my eyes, "No. No I just…I just want…"

"What do you want?" Denise asked.

"I want to forget."

"No you don't," She stated firmly "No, you think you want to forget, what do you really want Miley? What is making you do this? I know you don't want forget, only the other day you told me how much you loved holding on to the memories. So what do you truly want?" I opened my eyes staring at Denise feeling a tear fall.

"I want..." I trailed off terrified.

"What?"

"I want Nick." I cried.

Denise pulled me into her arms as the sobs suddenly came out, "I wanted to help him, to save him but I couldn't. I couldn't and I don't know how to cope with this. I just want him to be okay." I chocked out as she sighed.

"Miley, Nick is going to be okay."

"I saw him get shot, I saw him and-"

"And he is in surgery right now." Denise whispered holding me, "Miley he's going to okay. I think you should stop doing this right now, and come back to the hospital with me." I sniffled the ache easing a little, but not entirely. She let go of me nodding. "Then you can see him and you can understand that he's going to be fine."

I looked at her and nodded, "But you need to do something for me first."

Denise stared at me directly, "You need to get some sleep honey okay? Trust me, I know you're confused and everything is hurting but sleep will help clear your head and this afternoon I will come straight here once he's out of surgery. I will take you to Nick if you get some sleep today."

"Okay," I nodded staring at her desperately. "You promise you'll come get me?"

Denise let a tear slip nodding, "I promise Miley. I promise Nick will be okay too."

I nodded and stepped away from her. I needed to just stop thinking about forgetting and concentrate on seeing Nick. I walked past my Aunt and Uncle who just stood their watching me terrified. I moved out of my parent's bedroom and kept walking turning into mine. I climbed onto the bed and pressed my head into the pillow pulling my knees up to my chest.

I looked out at the clear blue sky for a moment then closed my eyes. I had to wait, and then I could see Nick. I just had to keep waiting.

A/N: So I decided to do this all in Miley's POV because well it just wouldn't be right having Nick suddenly talking after being shot in the head. I've never seen a person or been in shock, so this was kind of a guess of what it would be like. Anyway hope you kind of enjoyed it? And thanks for the reviews :D