Chapter 5

Math is the only subject that can hold my interest; each problem is like a little mystery that I have the power to solve. I wished that my own life was like a math problem difficult at first but then after some manipulation the answer reveals itself, and most importantly there is only one right answer no other possibilities as to how the problem can be solved. Jasper attended this class with me; he thought it was peculiar that I felt content in this class.

"The work distracts me." I whispered low enough so that human ears couldn't hear our conversation. The only problem I had was Mrs. Wilson's speed, I felt she moved too slow, with everything . . . the way she talked, walked, and wrote would have been like a sedative if I had the ability to sleep on a regular basis.

"It distracts you from what?" Jasper countered, "It takes this woman an hour to finish one sentence." He sighed from boredom. All of the children shared his opinion about the class, most if not all of them were asleep or desperately trying to fight it.

"Life," I was getting used the generic teenage answer. Something as small as a bump on one's face causing it what they considered temporary imperfection could ruin one's life at this age. It was amazing to me that that they were all unaffected by the major crisis' of life.

"Life?" Jasper said slowly as if he didn't understand, "right" he said sarcastically he sat there with this annoying grin on his face, maybe its because he knew that I was frustrated and he thought he knew why.

"Shut up Jasper! You people and your 'talents' you're so invasive!" I paused for a moment to answer the question on the bored.

"What makes you think I read anything off of you?" Jasper said, "Maybe I'm just happy."

"Don't judge me Jasper or take me for an imbecile," I rolled my eyes; that was my major pet peeve people who think they know me better than I know myself. My father was like that he thought he knew my capabilities better than I did and each time he tried to attack me he was the one disappointed.

"Or what you're going to hit me . . . that wouldn't be smart on you're part." He laughed.

"What makes you think you could get close enough to attack me?"

"You claim to like math so well . . . a whole is more than a half . . . need I say more." He made the predictable mistake that all full vampires have made interacting with me, he thought I was less than . . . physically anyway.

"But I . . ." I almost revealed the truth to him but I couldn't see how that would serve me positively, "never mind."

"That's right vampire lite cool it." He laughed, Emmett started that stupid nickname, and now all of them used it. It wasn't meant to be offensive and it wasn't it was laughable considering what I could do. I thought it was strange that Edward would use it, he was bound to know what I was capable of, but again I was grateful to him for not sharing my personal information with everyone.

"Vampire lite ha-ha very funny you really know how to beat a dead horse." I said and Jasper laughed.

"Actually I was probably the one who killed it." We continued to laugh but then the thought became somewhat sad, "Okay new topic . . . have you talked to Leah lately."

"She is not up for discussion," my jovial mood immediately soured and became more of an anxious disposition. Leah was in my next class, she would sit as she always did with the girl she befriended, and I would count how many times she would accidentally look my way. Her personal best or should I say my personal best was up to 15, 15 looks in my direction in a class period that lasted a little over an hour. It would have served as a major credit to my ego, if it weren't for the sadness behind her stare.

"You know my take on the situation so you'll hear no arguments." The house had become divided into those who thought I was doing the right thing by keeping my distance and the others. Jasper along with Edward, Seth, and Rosalie shared my view.

"There is no bright side in this situation for Leah. The very least you could do is talk to her." Ren said one day when I was forced into discussing my least favorite topic.

"I don't think it would be advisable for me to associate with her at all." Was my favorite or most recycled statement, I didn't wish to be forced into a conversation about Leah every time her name came up. Common sense led me to believe that indulging in the small pleasure of getting to know each other would lead to the desire for other things. Now without even talking to her, I am struggling to draw my attention away from her on a daily basis. I considered her legs something the devil formulated and constructed to torment me not only were there appearance alluring it was the way she used them, the way she walked and crossed her legs as she sat. Not to mention the skintight jeans that Alice continues to buy for her, I guess it was better than some of the alternatives I've seen other girls in the school wear.

"Nahuel . . . you alive over there?" Jasper's voice pulled me away from my thoughts that were headed quickly down the wrong path.

"Depends of your definition of the word."

"Touché'"

As I approached my next class, I heard the redheaded Shelly talking.

"Aww, but you do like him, I could tell from yesterday how could you not like him? You couldn't it isn't possible." I hated that I actually hoped they were talking about me, there were a lot of guys in the school that were attracted to Leah but she acted as if she didn't notice but maybe I had missed something. Besides, logically I knew it would make everything a lot easier if Leah took interest in another male. It would be great for her, if I didn't kill him of course. I waited shortly for Leah to respond to Shelly, and she didn't it confirmed my suspicion that she was indeed talking about me, she never discussed me with her from what I could tell. I walked into the classroom I tried to reframe from wearing a smug smile on my face. My insane bipolar behavior was revolting at best. I was beginning to think that the best place for me was a mental institution but of course, that wouldn't work because eventually I would get thirsty. I made my way to my seat in the back row, not without noticing Leah's invasive stare; I took my seat and made a tally in my notebook for the walk in. Then I heard Mr. Cooper's large uneven steps as he entered the room.

"Good Afternoon class!" He said quickly placing his box on his desk it was obviously exerted a lot of energy for him, his heartbeat franticly and forehead was damp. A Midsummer Night's Dream I read the title off the book about tumble from the box at least it wasn't Romeo and Juliet, in my personal opinion the story has been done to death. "We are about to embark on our first group book project!" The whole class let our disgruntled sighs and moans. "A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare but before I pass out the books we have a new seating arrangement" We were told to stand at the front of the class so that he could direct us individually to our new seat. There were two people I was desperate to avoid, Leah for the obvious reasons and Melissa this blonde girl in my chemistry class, she like many of the girls in our school had tried to approach Seth and me, but she was the only one who had the fortitude to approach both Seth and me at the same time. Shelly was who if I had a choice I would want to be partnered with, for no other reason but to figure out why Leah had taken to her so quickly, she seemed nothing like Leah. I had already made up in my mind that I would talk to her about Leah and answer her questions just to get into her good graces.

"Shelly" Mr. Cooper said with his focus glued to his seating chart. He pointed to the seat beside Melissa, which completely ruined my opportunity to play detective. Leah glanced in my direction momentarily, she stood beside Matthew this peon of a boy that looked at her as if he were in love with her, the sad thing was that she had not spoke one word to him and he looked as if he were in heaven from her being so close. Jacob had mentioned him to me before, Matthew was also in Jacob and Leah's gym class and he stared at her then just as he did now, the only difference was that now it wasn't a smart thing to do if he wanted to get home safely. It would be too easy for me knock him unconscious, I wouldn't have to lift a figure I would just make him hit his head repeatedly against the chalkboard. I sincerely hoped for his sake he was partnered with someone else.

"Leah," Mr. Cooper now pointed to the seat directly behind where she previously sat. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Nahuel," he pointed to the seat beside her. Figures that out of that out of a class of over thirty children he would put the two of us together, I walked toward her, for the first time in a long time my steps seemed effortless. As I walked toward her she fidgeted in her seat the expression her face wore was odd, it was distinct blend of happiness and anger. Once situated I placed two more tallies in my notebook. I enjoyed the relaxed feeling I was now experiencing being with inches of a now awake Leah. The hard part was acting as if I could care less about her nearness. She looked in my directed expecting me to act as a normal person and return her look. I did no such thing I pretended to be making notes and discretely added another tally to my paper she sighed defeated and her spicy sweet smell caused daggers to attack my chest. How could I talk to some who contained that aroma and not want to kiss them?

"Ahh a Midsummer Night's Dream," Mr. Cooper started his brand of rambling about the book and the project while he distributed the books. When Leah received her copy of the book, she flipped through the pages and smiled a little. I assumed that she must have read the book before and remembered its contents. I took my own copy and opened it preparing to use it as a shield to keep myself from looking at her.

"Have you read the book before?" I asked succumbing to the fact that we were going to have to interact, but solely for the purpose of the project.

"No," Her voice was a lot colder and blunter than I expected, but her actions were well justified I had done her no good since coming here.

"Then what amuses you?" I leaned a little closer to her and whispered; I still refused to look at her. I needed to make baby steps if I was going to try to communicate and stay platonic.

"Nothing important, have you read the play?" She turned and looked at me and I copied her action. The deed was slightly amusing, she moved as if looking at me would cause her pain, which was exactly what I was feeling.

"A long time ago," I willed myself to focus on the book, "I will have to refresh my memory."

"We could study the play together . . . if you'd like" I looked at her confused, I figured that we would have no choice but to study together, wasn't that the meaning of having a group project. Maybe I was doing too good of a job of avoiding her. I didn't want her to be scared of me, and right now, she looked terrified. I just wanted her to cautious of getting too close, but she looked hurt and I hadn't even said anything yet.

"Yes, that would be fine; it would probably be advisable to do, for the project I mean."

Emmett for reasons unknown to me has become my sounding board. I guess it was because we very rarely saw things the same way and I have always felt it beneficial to see things from all perspectives, and right at the moment, I really needed a different perspective.

"Are you serious?" Emmett laughter was expected as I told him my dilemma. "I told you man that you were gonna have to talk to her eventually."

"Yes, yes you did and I am asking you to help me fix what I have broken." We were sitting in my room moments after getting home from school. He sighed giving everything some thought.

"Dude just start opening up to her . . . girls like that stuff, even Leah win appreciate it."

"True," Talking if I had known that I was gong to be forced into this situation so soon I would have just talked to her in the first place. I could only imagine the ill feelings she had towards me.

"Yeah you know talking . . . you say something, then she'll say something and then if you reply to her statement you'll be having a conversation." He said sarcastically.

"I know how to carry on a conversation Emmett, my concern as that she will confuse my openness and try to get too close."

"Come on Nahuel by now everyone knows where you stand." Emmett rolled his eyes, "We all know that you are more than capable at keeping her at arms length."

"What do you mean by that?" I narrowed my eyes at him maybe Edward had figured me out and revealed my secret to the others.

"By what? Look if you don't want her close then just spell it out tell her what you want her to know, be blunt, be strong, make the grade." He laughed.

Night fell and I watched as Leah returned home from her normal run with Ren. She came upstairs and stood by her door as if she were trying to decide something.

"Something wrong?" I asked now standing beside her.

"Actually, I was wondering when you wanted to get started." She was good at being blunt better than I had been lately. She turned to me with her hands on her hips.

"Yes, I am actually ready now." I smiled at her trying to show a more cordial side, and she just looked at me confused.

"Okay we can set up in the kitchen and get started . . . I'll just get my stuff." She started to go into her room and I stopped her.

"Wait we could study in my room, there won't be as many interruptions that way." I knew that the others' in the household would be interested in putting their nose where it didn't belong. I stepped toward Leah supposedly to engage her yet into the conversation, but she stumbled backward and grabbed her doorframe.

"Yeah just let me change I'll be right there."

About fifteen long minutes later Leah joined me in my room. From that point forward, I became very aware of my bed. It was one of the things I hadn't used since coming here. I sat on it occasionally but hadn't felt the need to sleep. As I looked at the bed with Leah in mind sleeping wasn't exactly the thing that came to mind, I thought of the many ways I could take Leah down onto the bed. Every time I went to look at her the guilt of my impure thoughts made feel shameful. Instead of offering to sit with her on the floor I sat at my desk with my back turned, which was the opposite of what I wanted to do with Leah, I was trying to open up to her not dissuade her further. I used to consider myself fairly strong and straight forward until I learn of Leah's existence now I was afraid to turn around in what was supposed to be my own space. Therefore, I sat looking an already finished section of notes I had developed before she had even came into my room. Thankfully, I had thought to pre-read the section in question before meeting with her because her presence made it hard for me concentrate on anything else.

It had been an hour of her sitting in my room, the good news was that I had respected her fully, the bad new was that I hadn't interacted with her at all. Unfortunately, she yawned pulling my focus to her, I caught her reflection in my computer screen, she was lying on her stomach on the floor with her delectable legs dangling in the air, she yawned again.

"Do you mind if I sit on your bed? I am finished with my notes you can review them and see if I missed any important parts" Apparently, it was a rhetorical question because I hear the springs of the mattress as her weight shifted onto the bed. Leah had placed herself in the place where I kept trying not to envision her and she moved there of her own free will. How could she torment me like this? How could she not know all the wicked things I wanted to do to her?

"As you wish," at this time I felt I had enough control over myself to look her in the eyes, she sat on her knees at the foot of the bed handing me the papers. "Here are mine, if you could do the same I would appreciate it" She nodded took the papers and readjusted herself so that she was in the same position she was comfortable in on the floor. As soon as went to look at my notes, she laughed one of her arbitrary laughs.

"What?" I turned back to her direction.

"Nothing." She said still smirking at the paper. I hadn't written thing I meant to be funny maybe I had misspelled something but there was bound to be a reason why she laughed and she would tell me.

"You always say nothing. There is something that amuses you, else wise you wouldn't laugh." It felt amazing to say that, since I had hindered myself from speaking to her there have been a handful of times when I have wanted to say just that, why, why crazy Leah are you laughing, why are you smiling?

"I like that quote also . . . see it was nothing." She shrugged and smiled softly. She had pointed to the quote on the top of my paper "The course of true love never did run smooth" it was one of more famous lines of the play and still is a very true statement.

"Why do you like it?" The statement was famous but it is more a commonly known line than something to be liked.

"Mainly because it is a true statement, true love seems like something you have to fight for or at the very least wait for." She yawned and stretched; I hoped that she wasn't talking about me. If she planned to wait for me, she would be waiting all of eternity because I would put myself in the position to take her life.

"One day you will find it." I murmured turning back around to my computer, someone as beautiful as her would have no choice but to find someone will to completely give of themselves to produce her happiness.

"I already have." Her voice sounded muffled so I assumed that she was falling asleep.

"Are you ready to retire?" I asked ever since she came in here she had seemed exhausted; maybe it was because of all the crying she did in her sleep.

"No," She repositioned herself once more giving the bedsprings a workout, "I probably won't sleep tonight anyway."

"Well what did you want to focus on . . . we could start preparing notes for our section if you wish? Or we could just talk . . . if you desire?" I asked with no response. "Leah?" I turned back to her and she had fallen asleep. I moved over to the bed and stared at her for the first time she actually was smiling in her sleep.

"I hope I haven't led you on Leah, but I know I don't want to be unkind to you anymore." I touched her face and smoothed away the strand of hair, "I shouldn't have done that, but I should see to it that you get a good night sleep." I lifted her sleeping body into my arms and turned down the bed with my mind, I laid her as gently as possible into the bed, I stayed hovered over her momentarily, I watched as her chest cavity moved rose and fell, she looked completely blissful. I moved to her side and pulled the covers over her. "Sweet dreams Leah."