Chapter Twenty-Seven

Miley.

"He's just not ready yet."

I closed my eyes, trying to stop my mind repeating the same sentence the doctor had spoken four days ago now. Yet still it lingered, like everything in my life at the moment.

I pulled the zip up the back of my dress, slowly doing up the button at the top, fastening the dress in place. I stood in front of the mirror dropping my hands looking at myself. I liked my dress, Amy had gone and bought it for me yesterday and for a change I actually appreciated her conservative nature. Black, loose and completely plain. It was exactly what I needed to disappear amongst the crowed of mourners. It was perfect for Selena's funeral.

"Do you want me to do your hair Miley?" Amy's voice called out.

I didn't respond, combing my finger through the hair I couldn't be bothered styling. The same could be said for my lack of make up, I didn't want to wear any at all, but the dark bags under my eyes needed to be addressed Amy had said.

"Miley?" Amy called out.

I looked away exhausted and dazed. Every step I took I knew I was moving, but at the same time I just felt like I was lagging behind. Even though I'd left the hospital this morning, I still felt like I was there, or should be there.

I walked down the hallway of my aunt and uncle's home coming out to see Amy perched on a stool with a coffee. Her eyes instantly looked up, a weak pained smile consuming her face.

"You look lovely," She lied

I looked like the walking dead and she knew it.

I just nodded and reached out to take an open energy drink from the counter, only for it to be snatched from my hands. "No, no more caffeine. It's mine. You need food." Jason demanded sculling the drink. I opened my mouth to call him a hypocrite only to close it realizing I couldn't even be bothered fighting right now.

"We're running late Jason." Amy proclaimed standing up handing me a banana

"I know Amy, I was working on my speech."

"You know no one expects you to make a speech Jason," Amy muttered seriously to her husband as I took the opportunity of her distracted to put the banana back in the fruit bowl. "Look even the family's don't expect you to speak, the Chief would be happy to-"

"No. I have to do this for all of them Amy."

"You don't have to do anything."

"Amy don't even start-"

"You've hardly been home!" Amy snapped under her breath as I just stood there watching Amy release the spite that I'd seen building for a while now. "I've barely seen you the past week, you're here then you're gone I never know whether to cook you dinner or whether to wait up for you. This is getting beyond ridiculous Jason."

Jase shook his head, "Amy I have to-"

"No, no you don't and you know it." She hissed.

"Amy people died, my people-"

"And what? I have to deal with the fact the living one we still have is fading away in front of us. She needs you here." Amy yelled at him, as I looked away feeling guilty. I guess I hadn't been the best company lately.

"Amy," Jason warned as I moved away to retrieve my own bag, "She's fine."

"If you think she's fine then you're deluded Jason."

Jason huffed and mumbled something back, I couldn't hear it but it set Amy off again and I decided I didn't even care about their little break down right now. Of all days, today was no that day I needed to deal with this shit. I just walked towards the door, and purposely slammed it as loud as I could. I moved to the elevator and pressed the button impatiently. It didn't take long before Amy and Jason were by my side,

"Miley, I'm sorry." Amy muttered. "I didn't mean it."

Another lie.

We got in the elevator as I leaned against the cold metal closing my eyes. I was both terrified and desperate for sleep, sadly the first had been winning out most nights.

"I think when we get home, you should go straight to bed missy," Amy stated lightly touching my arm and I just nodded, knowing I wasn't planning on coming home with them anyway.

"And maybe tonight we should all go out someplace to have dinner?" Jase suggested as I opened my eyes.

I just nodded giving them both a reassuring smile, letting it drop as soon as their eyes looked elsewhere. Today I had a plan, and no one, including Selena, was going to interrupt it. I knew skipping out on her funeral wasn't respectable, but Sel would forgive me I was sure. If anything I'd learnt that funerals didn't sit right with me, they never had, so instead I was going to spend the day trying to indulge myself back into the world, one step at a time. The first step at doing something without Nick by my side,

"Any news about…" I heard Jason ask as the doors opened.

"Miley wouldn't tell me anything, Denise called and said no change." Amy responded just as quietly, both of them assuming that my current semi conscious state had some how affected my hearing.

"Is there still a chance?"

"I don't know Jason. I have no idea."

I ignored them on the trip to the church, blocking out their discussion and focusing on my own internal one. At the moment my main concern was still Nick, I was being positive for a change and holding strong on his front anyway. I, like Denise, still held out hope he'd be fine and he was showing good signs supposedly. The doctor was concerned, but still overall content with his progress even if it was slower then expected.

"Miley did you eat the banana?" Amy asked me directly interrupting my thoughts,

I looked at her and nodded, Jason's eyes looking at me from the rear view mirror. He motioned down as I frowned and his left hand slipped behind the seat. I watched as he pointed at a bag at my feet, I looked inside confused finding the new obsession and remedy I'd turned to recently. Energy drinks. I grabbed one looking at as Jason who gave me a wink.

By the time we got to the church I was buzzing, wide eyed and feeling even more eager to successfully implement my plan.

"Miley do you mind if I speak today?" Jason asked me quietly as we got out of the car,

"No. Selena would like it if you spoke." I responded truthfully.

Jason just gave me a look, "What would you like though?"

I shrugged, "To not be here, but I have to be supposedly. I want you to speak."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive Jase," I whispered looking towards the mass group of black clad people, all looking so confused and contemplative on how such a terrible thing could have happened to someone so young. "These people need to know how much Selena sacrificed, how she was dedicated to her job, and how every single day we will remember her. They need to know she won't be forgotten."

Jase wrapped his arm around my shoulder kissing the side of my head, "I love you, so much." He whispered to me, a comment I'd been hearing a lot from him lately.

"I love you too Jase. Make me proud today." I responded seriously.

"Commissioner!" A voice proclaimed.

Jason was suddenly gone, immersed amongst the superiors of the force. That left me with Amy, whose eyes were looking around quickly and hesitantly. After a moment she lightly placed her hand on my waist, as I caught sight of a few people with their eyes directly on me.

"Do you see anyone you know?" She asked me quietly.

I looked at her and nodded, "I know most of them," I whispered turning away.

"Well how about we go talk to-"

"Amy!" Denise's voice announced cheerfully.

I turned around facing Denise, who I'd only seen this morning pull Amy into a friendly embrace. "I see you've already lost Jason to the mob, and it's good to see you out in something that isn't jeans and converse." She noted giving me a look, as I nodded looking down.

"Less comfortable though, I prefer the jeans."

"You and me both," Denise proclaimed, "The boys are over there with Demi, if you want to go and see them." Her hand directed towards the other side of the group of mourners as I saw her eyes staring at me sternly. She wanted me to leave? Amy seemed uneasy, and I just felt like something was going on.

"Is Nick okay?" I asked quickly.

Denise just frowned, "Of course he is, you left him an hour ago."

I watched her face, not finding anything suspicious. I finally nodded turning to Amy, "I'll sit with Joe and Demi, is that okay?" I asked her. Amy opened her mouth then stopped and smiled looking at me nodding her head.

"Of course hun, I'll see you outside after. You'll be okay?" She asked.

I gave a small nod, "I'll try to be,"

Amy gave me a genuine smile, kissing the side of my head. "That's all I can ask for, if you need to me I'll be here."

"I know."

I smiled at both of them quickly turning away. I walked in the general direction that Denise had pointed, stopping once I saw them. Demi was leaning on Joe her eyes red and puffy while Joe held her locked against him. Kevin and Danielle faced them speaking slowly to one another. I bit my tongue, knowing that today I couldn't help any of them, not until I helped myself.

I looked around making sure no one was watching as I took my leave. I felt the guilt as I stood in the street waving down a cab, but I had to do this, not for any of them but for myself. I needed a new perspective on this world, because being at ground level it just felt like everything around me was wrong. I needed to find beauty, and recognize the fact that no matter where I was now the memories would always surround me. I couldn't be scared to face anything anymore. It was time to embrace everything because life was too short to have regrets.

I paid the driver and got out looking up towards the skyscraper before me. It would give me a forgotten perspective, one I'd been running from for a long time.

I walked through the doors into the Empire State Building wishing Nick was here, but knowing that this was a journey I was always going to have to face alone. This was a tradition I had with my parents, and it would feel wrong to do it with anyone but them.

I was feeling good as I lined up with all the tourists that was until my phone started ringing. I waited for it stop blaring yet it didn't. Call after call was made to my number, but I didn't even consider glimpsing at it. I could feel my emotions pressing with each step I took and I knew seeing my phone would tip me over the edge.

Time ticked by slowly, but it was nothing in comparison to the past week. Then suddenly the doors were opening to the elevator and I was being ushered out. For a while I just stood inside, while all the tourists rushed outside to see the city. I waited until I knew I was ready before I walked out onto the 86th level observation deck.

I was instantly hit by the wind it's power striking hard against my body. I stepped forward forcing myself through it as I was surrounded by the squabbling tourists all snapping photos.

It was when I finally claimed a small piece of railing did I truly open my eyes.

New York City had changed, yet it still felt the same up here.

The buildings, the sounds, the river and the atmosphere, everything made it feel like I was seven all over again. Yet I couldn't help but look, my eyes were drawn to the new additional buildings in the horizon, the replacements that never would live up to the glory of the fallen two. I closed my eyes for a split second and I could still see the towers in my imagination. I could feel my parents by my side, their words lingering in my mind.

"We can go up that one too if you want…" I remember mom saying pointing out the south tower, yet I shook my head and looked up at her grinning.

"No, I like this one better, those ones are too far away. Here I can see everything."

I opened my eyes and they were gone. The buildings and my parents lost in the past never to be seen again.

Yet everything else still buzzed in the city. It was still so alive. It survived like me.

It embraced what happened and that's what I had to keep doing.

I had to cherish the memories but live for the moment because life was unpredictable and something so close can suddenly be so far away in an instant.

I felt my phone vibrating as I looked towards the Hudson and moved letting my spot be filled. I finally decided to retrieve the device and answered it without looking at the screen,

"Where the hell are you?" Joe yelled at me.

I stopped gazing at my watch, three hours had past yet it still didn't feel long enough.

"I'm at the Empire State Building." I responded.

"The Empire State Building? Why the hell are you there? Do you not realize how worried we've all been- what were you thinking just-" A fight suddenly broke out on the other side of the line as I looked over the edge.

"Miley?" Denise asked desperately, "Miley he's awake. You need to come to the hospital. He wants you. Nick wants you."

I froze hearing her disjointed words, my eyes looking up at the sky blurred.

"Miley he wants you." She repeated again. "Miley?"

I swallowed her words sinking in, "I'm coming. I'm coming." I whispered desperately. "I'll be right there. I promise."

Nick.

"Where is she?"

"The Empire State Building."

"What?"

"Don't even ask. I have no idea why she is there Kevin."

Fingers gently ran down my cheek, a kiss placed on my forehead. "When did he fall back asleep?" Mom asked, my ears hearing yet my mind trailed behind, exhaustion sweeping away the confusion and questions.

"Ten minutes ago, Doc gave him something."

"Okay, did he say anything else?"

"No, no, apart from asking for Miley he's said nothing. What was she doing there?" My brother's voice murmured loudly yet muffled at the same time.

"I don't know okay?" Mom's voice faded out, "I don't know but she's coming that's all that matters right now. You hear that Nick? She's fine. I promise you she's fine and your girlfriend will be here as soon as she can."

I promise you she's fine.

"YOU SAID HE WAS AWAKE"

"Miley stop- stop yelling. Stop!"

"You lied, you lied to me and-"

"No, no just calm down. Miley stop!"

An agonizing sob filled my ears quickly followed by fingers wedging and pressing themselves into mine. "Miley he was awake, I promise you. I know it doesn't seem like it now but he was…" Mom's voice whispered while I tried to understand yet nothing seemed to be making sense.

"But he's not now. He's not- you said…" She whispered crying. "You said he was."

"Miley he's going to wake up, what's up with you? Why are you crying?" My mom asked her voice sounding uneasy, "Why were you at the Empire State Building honey? What's going on? Miley, sweet heart why did you leave the funeral?" I knew the answer. I knew that answer I wanted so desperately to reply, because even though I didn't understand and nothing was working the way I wanted it too. I could answer that question.

Yet my body wouldn't let me. It was betraying me.

"I just want him to wake up, right now." She whispered

The voice was muffled yet clear, and I wanted to help her, everything in me wanted to make this better for her yet I couldn't right now. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move all I could do was hear the world and not understand.

"I love you," She whispered in my ear, "Please, please wake up again."

"I need you. I need you here with me."

"I need you to come back to me."

Need. I needed her too.

It was quite, almost eerily silent except for the constant beeping. I was confused, that was the only definite emotion I truly could feel, that and pain. I didn't know what was happening, I didn't understand or remember why I felt like this. Yet I could feel warmth across my face, a brightness breaking the darkness.

I opened my eyes instantly blinded. I closed them quickly, my head aching.

What the hell had happened?

I ever so carefully attempted to open my eyes once more, this time slower. It took a moment before I recognized the warmth was in fact the sun shining through darkened slates. I winched closing my eyes once more, the brightness shooting agony through my senses. It was then I realized I could feel something. No, not something someone beside me.

I slowly spread my fingers out, the stiffness in them making me concerned. It took a few seconds before they were outstretched and as I attempted to slowly turn my hand over I felt hair? I pinched two fingers together holding it in my fingers completely disorientated.

"Mmmmm" A loud murmur sounded, followed by a sigh.

Suddenly the hair was moving still tangled in my fingers.

"Ouch," A familiar voice hissed.

Miley? Miley? Miley was here?

I instantly forced my eyes open catching a bright pair staring back into mine.

She just stared at me, her mouth slightly open yet silent. Miley looked at me hopeful and utterly desperate.

"Nick?" She whispered pleadingly.

I swallowed opening my mouth trying to say her name in reply, yet I just felt so exhausted. I shaped my lips around the word, yet nothing came out. It was enough for Miley though, who broke into a smile chocking on a sob. I closed my eyes feeling her body wrap around mine making me feel at ease knowing she was here with me, it was the only thing that made sense.

A/N: Guess what I'm doing...listening to Wrecking Ball. Niley feelings screaming. Anyway expect delays coming up I have essays. Ew. Thanks for the reviews :D