I'm really sorry for posting later and later but real life has been happening with a vengeance. I almost just gave up but it's nice to have readers that encourage me to continue.
Thank you to all but especially dandy44, disney101, and jojoba0306. This one is for you.
A LOVE WITHOUT END
Dean hated morphine, hated the way it made him feel dragged down and burned up but it had been the only thing to cut the pain in half. Pain that felt like every inch of his body was trying to turn inside out in sections.
They had run a thousand tests it seemed and he was lying on the bed in the hospital drugged to oblivion waiting. He drifted in and out.
"Is he going to be ok?"
He pushed his eyes open hearing Arandi's voice but as he looked around he saw that he was all alone and new style of pain coursed through him.
"Mr. Winchester?" Dr. Masters walked into the room. "I know that you are a little out of it right now but I have some great news."
Dean did his best to focus.
"The pain that you have been feeling is actually your nerves firing up trying to get back to normal. The swelling has gone down and as far as I can see with the proper therapy you should be back on your feet as normal as you ever were."
"I'm not paralyzed?" Dean asked a bit more alert.
"Not anymore, it seems that we were dealing with a temporary paralysis."
As happy as Dean wanted to be with the news the need to knock the doctor on his ass for making him believe that he would never walk again and in turn hurting Arandi was quite overwhelming.
"I broke up with the woman I love because I was told that I would be paralyzed for life. I have no idea where she is and I hurt her so badly I doubt she will ever speak me to me again. I don't think I have liked and hated someone at the same time as I much as I do you right now." Dean growled at the doctor.
"I'm really sorry but this type of injury is very sensitive and most people don't recover. You should count your blessings."
"Yeah so now I can walk in front of a bus."
The doctor looked very uncomfortable with the words.
"Don't worry doc you don't have to psycho evaluate me."
The doctor turned to leave but stopped. "I will deny saying this to you Mr. Winchester if it is ever mentioned but Ms. Remington may be more forgiving than you think in her condition."
The detective in Dean read between the lines faster than most people. "She's pregnant? She wasn't supposed to be able to ever conceive." Dean felt his heart rate rise and it was announced loudly by the machines that he was attached to.
"Seems as if miracles are abound in your life right now." The doctor replied and walked out the door.
If there was a way to literally beat himself senseless, Dean would have done it at the moment.
"Son of bitch." He growled pounding his fists against the bed railing.
No wonder Arandi had gotten so upset. He had sent her away when she was probably reeling from the fact that she was pregnant something she thought was never going to be possible for her.
She was probably going to tell him that very moment he had called things off and Jo being there had been no coincidence. Dean remembered that she had friends that worked in the hospital and when he found out who had leaked private information to her he was going to make sure they were fired.
Angry frustrated tears brimmed in his eyes. She was pregnant and he had sent her packing. Pregnant with his child. Pregnant with their miracle child and all alone rejected by the man she thought loved her.
How would he ever make her understand that that very love was what had made him push her away?
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Dean had worn himself thin trying to find Arandi and had had no success. He went through incredible bouts of anger and frustration and he took that and used it to try get himself back on his feet.
"Over doing it isn't going to help you Dean." Sarina huffed watching Dean sweating madly and dragging his still less than cooperative legs across the mat while he held onto the bars.
Dean glared at his therapist and kept on going until he reached the end and then plopped into the waiting wheelchair that he couldn't wait to donate to the first place that would take it.
"Don't you usually have to force people to work this hard?" Dean growled wiping his face with a hand towel.
"Yeah I do but pushing yourself too hard can set you back. It's kind of my job to point that out."
"Point taken. Now will you please call my brother and tell him I'm ready to be picked up?"
"My pleasure."
Dean rolled himself to the double doors to wait until he saw the arrival of his brother's truck. He knew Sam wasn't far off probably sitting at a café eating a salad or having a smoothie. He had grown quite frustrated watching Dean work out and thought better just to not be there.
Sure enough Sam pulled up minutes later and Dean worked his way into the truck on his own steam while his brother loaded up the wheelchair.
"Misha and the other guys are waiting at the apartment. They fired up the grill and are making some steaks and sides for us." Sam said conversationally.
Dean huffed out his breath. He wasn't ready for this type of company even as he recovered slowly and he knew that his friends were just trying to be there for him and have his back while he went through this hell moment in his life.
There was only one person that he wanted to be at his apartment and he knew that she wouldn't be there probably ever and the fact that she was carrying his child was a knife twisting his heart.
He loved Arandi more than any words would ever describe and he felt like the world's biggest dick for giving up so easily when he thought he was paralyzed.
"Jade is looking for her Dean. She's going to tell her that you made a mistake so that you two can work things out."
"Does Jade know that Arandi is pregnant?" Dean asked in a whisper.
Sam sucked in his breath. "Oh God Dean."
"Yeah I broke up with her while she was trying to tell me that she was pregnant and she has to hate me so much. I'm going to be a dad and I'm probably never going to see my child."
"Don't say that Dean we'll find her and talk sense into her."
Dean nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I miss her so much and I'm a complete dick for what I did to her."
Sam sighed wishing that he could make things better but now he had a new determination to find Arandi and bring her to Dean even if he had to throw her over his shoulder to get her to cooperate.
They arrived at the apartment and Dean slowly made his way to the doors motioning for Sam to just leave the wheelchair in the truck.
Sam didn't feel like any type of debate with his brother so he just followed closely but Dean was doing alright. He was in great shape but just didn't have complete control over his legs yet. It was hard to see him like this when Dean was like a cheetah when he took off running. He had always enjoyed showing off his speed and now Sam wondered how long it would take him to get back to that stage of his abilities.
He had yet to ask him if he was going to back to being on active duty when he was well again. He was sure if they didn't find Arandi soon that Dean was going to worry himself into an ulcer or worse.
The fact that they had managed to make a baby when it wasn't supposed to be possible made Sam really believe that it was sign from some omnipotent being.
Dean would never be the same if didn't get to be a father to his child growing inside Arandi.
Dean opened the door to his apartment and everyone there cheered seeing him making his way on his own two feet even though it was at a shuffle.
Dean smiled but it didn't get anywhere near his eyes and though they all noticed no one dared broach the subject.
Dean just wanted to get through the time with his well-meaning friends and then lay in the dark until sleep finally came to him.
He was sure no one understood the hell it was to have to lie on the same bed that he and Arandi had made love and relive the best moments of his life.
He was beginning to believe that he had actually died and this was all his own personal hell.
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Dean sat staring out into the night slowly sipping on the beer that he really wasn't supposed to be drinking and the last thing that he wanted to do was be one those people that drowned their sorrows in alcohol.
But he understood now why those people did it, he would never condone it but he understood.
Everyone had been gone for a while now sensing that he needed to be alone even Sam had left.
He wondered what Arandi was doing at that very moment. If maybe by some chance was looking up at the night sky too grieving the loss he had forced on her or maybe she had just said fuck it all and gone on with her life and that hurt Dean more than any physical blow. The thought of another man raising his child made his gut twist painfully.
He took another drink and heard his phone going off in his pocket. He was sure that it was Sam checking up on him like he constantly did but when he looked at the caller ID he didn't recognize the number. He answered anyway ready to rip some telemarketers head off. He gave two fucks if that was their way to make a living.
"Hello." He answered with a tone of 'this better be good.'
"Dean?"
The beer bottle slipped from his fingers and clinked loudly on the floor but thankfully didn't shatter and rolled away.
"Arandi baby?" He barely whispered.
"Dean?" She repeated.
He had her on the phone and he knew that he had to tell her how much he loved her, how much he wanted her back before she hung up.
He began to ramble on about what an idiot he was and that she had to give him another chance because although he didn't deserve it he would spend the rest of his life making it up to her what he had done to her. The pain he had caused her.
He stopped breathing when he heard the laughter of a male and he listened.
"Well isn't that sweet? The bitch is pregnant and that just makes killing her all the better so that you can feel what I felt when you killed my brother. You know what though I'm going to give you the chance to say goodbye, the chance I never got."
Dean didn't even realize that he was already in his room pulling his gun from the hidden safe in his dresser.
"If you hurt her there will no place in the world that you will be able to hide from me." He hissed.
He heard Arandi cry out in pain and his legs gave out on him. Fuck he needed to be careful what he said to this crazy man.
"Want to make more threats pig?"
"If I'm the one that killed your brother then leave her out of it." Dean said pulling himself up and heading to his laptop. He quickly sent an e-mail to one of his dispatcher friends who took his work very seriously. He included the number and typed 'I need the GPS yesterday.'
"Well she was there too and I bet you don't even remember who he was do you pig? He was my little brother and I was supposed to take care of him but I was at work trying to make enough money to buy him those ridiculous shoes that he had to have and he tried to get the money on his own and you killed him. He barely turned eighteen." The voice said breaking slightly. "He's all I had."
Dean pieced together what he was being told and he realized who it was that he was talking to. He remembered the man from the hospital when he and Arandi were being treated from the shooting in the diner, the paramedics had taken the shooters to the same hospital and they had both been DOA. The brother had been called and when he arrived and was told that his brother and his friend were dead he had lost it.
He had to be taken down and arrested and then he had dropped out of sight until now. As cops they couldn't afford to worry about every person they arrested or had altercations with, most of the time people went on with their lives then there were the ones who couldn't let go.
"Man I will do whatever you want please just let her go." Dean whispered desperately into the phone. The GPS flashed on his computer.
He quickly typed a response to send units to that address but no sirens. Life and death, officer hostage situation and he had the guy on the line.
Dean rushed for the door his legs and back tingling but he pushed it to the back burner he had to get to Arandi. He tucked his gun in the back of his jeans and headed for his truck.
"Maybe I should let her know what a real man feels like." The man said. "She is so very hot even though she's a pig."
Dean covered his phone to cover the slamming of the door of his truck and starting it before replying. "Look man I'm the one that pulled the trigger so let me take her place."
Laughter drifted into Dean's ear. "You fucking cops think that every person that has to work their asses off to survive are idiots. I know that you're on your way and I know that you probably have help coming but that's ok I'm taking out every cop I can before I die tonight."
The line went dead and Dean's blood froze. The phone sounded again moments later and Sam was yelling in his ear as he answered.
"He knows we're coming Sam. He has Arandi and he is planning on cop suicide you have to stay clear I don't know how much ammo he has….Sammy I love you."
"Dean don't you dare do anything stupid! Dean!"
Dean hung up and tossed the phone on the seat. He hit his cop lights and floored it.
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His gun tucked in the back of his jeans he headed up the stairs to the roof of the building that had been on the GPS. In talking with the man he had known that the man was outside by the sounds coming through the phone and when Dean pulled up he had seen movement up there.
He knew that Sam and the others would arrive soon and he had to try to stop this man before he hurt Arandi before he had a chance to hurt anyone else.
He opened the door to the roof knowing his presence was already known.
"Kick your gun over." The man said instantly.
Dean didn't hesitate pulling the gun and doing what he had been told and then lifted his hands in surrender. His gut wrenched. He hadn't seen Arandi in a while. She was on her knees bruised and bloodied her hair up and hands protective over her stomach.
Their eyes connected and he could still see love in them and he prayed she saw the same.
Dean just wanted to hold her so bad make it all go away and feel their baby moving inside her.
The man had the gun pointed at the back of her head with a smirk.
Dean moved to say something but the man grinned an ugly twisted maniacal grin and Dean knew the man wasn't up for the long winded hostage negotiations he was ready to end it all and take out the people he believe had wronged him.
Dean moved forward and he watched in horror as the man pulled the trigger and Arandi crumpled to the dirty roof unmoving blood pooling around her head so fast. Her eyes open and unseeing.
"NO!" Dean screamed as he crashed into the man and they struggled for the gun. It went off twice and the man stumbled back trying to reach for a rifle propped up against the wall beside him.
Dean shoved him harder not daring to give the man a chance to do anymore damage to anyone else's life. Dean's was pretty much over and he felt no satisfaction as the man tumbled over the edge screaming till he hit the street and someone slammed on the brakes but apparently not fast enough.
He turned to Arandi crashing to his knees not caring how much it hurt. He hadn't gotten the goodbye or the chance to tell her that he just couldn't go another day without her.
He lifted her gently choking on the amount of blood that covered him quickly and he pulled her close. "I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry. I love you so much. Please…..please…"
He sobbed uncontrollably holding her and rocking her gently. He would never hear her beautiful laugh or the way she said his name again. His child was dying in his arms and there was nothing he could do.
Retched sobs tore from him as his entire world was turned to dust.
Sam and Sebastian had to pry his bloodied hands off of her. Sam kept talking to him even though he could only say. "I killed her, I killed my baby." All he could see was the way the man had shot her without remorse.
"He's in shock." Gabriel whispered as the paramedics worked on Arandi solemnly.
Sam pulled Dean to his feet and tried to coax him to walk but Dean barely moved. "Just let me die." He whispered brokenly and fell against Sam.
It was then that Sam noticed the hole in Dean's shirt and that all the blood wasn't Arandi's. "He's been shot!" Sam screamed and another world began to crumble.
TBC
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Thanks for reading!