Chapter Thirty-Two

Nick.

"You aren't wearing your uniform?" I questioned entering the bedroom.

I looked at Miley confused who stood with one hand adjusting the back of her dress, while the other pulled it up at the front. My girlfriend turned shrugging her shoulders at me care free, "Jason said I didn't have to," She responded simply walking over to her wardrobe in search of shoes, "I mean I quit Nick. There is no reason why I should wear the uniform anymore. Plus I bought this dress especially for the award presentation yesterday, see conservative."

Miley turned to me waving her hand in front of the very G rated and plain navy blue dress, not that I minded. It meant no wandering eyes. But still I felt a little let down, I mean I liked seeing her in uniform and not just because she looked sexy as hell but because I was stuck wearing this tight ass formal uniform which included cufflinks and a tie while she got off easy. It wasn't fair.

"But look at you…" Miley grinned walking over giving a small laugh. "You seriously look like Jason with your badge and insignia. It almost appears like you're actually a high ranking professional cop." Miley pulled at my tie straightening it.

I scoffed, "I am a high ranking-"

She laughed moving her hand to my now bandage free head, covering the war wound with my current messy hair, "You're a teacher Nick-"

"I'm a Chief." I retorted insulted pointing at my new embroidered status.

Miley snorted and leaned down pulling her shoes on, "Yeah The Chief of teaching self defense…" I frowned but didn't press it, knowing today was not the day we needed to have a fight. So instead I decided to change topics.

"Mom rang and she wants to make sure that-"

"I have the candelabras packed." Miley finished looking at me, "I have packed them and the three hundred puce colored napkins she requested. I've even packed my clothes which is more then you can say…"

We both gazed to my side of the room as I waved my hand at the clothes littered around my suitcase, none of which were actually in it. "Well I've started. I'll pack when we get home tonight."

I looked to Miley who just stared at me disappointed, "But I had other plans for tonight."

I tugged at my collar looking at her, "Like what?"

"I wanted to show you how progressive my clothing becomes after you get past the conservative dress." Miley raised her eyebrows at me, while I just stood there trying to make sure I was hearing right. "Which bluntly means, I bought new underwear too…although I'd hardly call them that."

I couldn't help but give a small laugh looking at her stepping forward, the boring dress now looking a lot sexier. "What happened to waiting until-"

"Fuck waiting for anything." Miley proclaimed at me sending a devilish grin.

I nodded liking this approach, "That should be your new life motto, Fuck waiting for anything."

Miley nodded in agreement walking over to me in her heels, grinning at me. "Plus I want something to look forward to, tonight is going to be pretty shitty." She proclaimed moving her hands out to mine, which I quickly took. "I mean these medals aren't just about rewarding us but also-"

"Targeting us?" I suggested and Miley shook her head.

"Remembering us." She murmured quietly, her smile dropping completely. "We're both leaving, this is our send off so to speak."

I nodded in agreement squeezing her hands, "But that's a good thing. I'm going to do something I love, and you are…" I trailed off looking towards the desk smiling, "Filling out college applications."

Miley groaned, "More like procrastinating about filling them out."

"You've got a month." I responded simply.

"Yeah and we'll be in Europe in a month. I wanted to have them finished by tonight but I'm stuck on the god damn essay." Miley responded shaking her head releasing my hands, "Which is so frustrating because that used to be the one thing I was good at doing in school. Bullshitting essays, now…I feel like I'm lying."

I didn't let her go and put my hands on her hips. Miley's eyes turned back to mine sparkling so brightly, she had so much hope in them at the moment which was so amazing to see and I had no doubt she would finish the essay but right now she needed reassurance.

"You'll be fine. Maybe the wedding from hell will inspire you, or a screaming baby on the flight to London. You'll get it done okay?" I confirmed as she nodded at me leaning up to kiss my lips,

"I will. I know I will, but until then I'm stressing." She kissed me again.

"Don't stress, now are you almost ready?"

I looked at her, she stared at me and I realized neither of us wanted to go.

"It'll be fine, we're getting a pretty shiny medal-"

"So are Selena and Justin, Demi told me their families are accepted it." Miley responded closing her eyes, "This is going to be so damn shitty Nick, everyone will be crying and...it'll be horrible."

I sighed, "You don't know that." Miley gave a look and I nodded, "Okay yeah they'll be tears but it could be good?"

"It won't be, I didn't even want a stupid medal that'll just collect dust somewhere." She snapped stepping away from me heading towards the bedside table, "I'm just going to push it up behind a bunch of clothes in my wardrobe anyway, what's the point of it? This stupid medal will symbolize everything I want to forget."

She was right. Miley was completely right. Every time we saw that medal we'd think of them, of what happened and how much it hurt. So what was the point? It was nothing but a reminder of the hell we went through and I was sure my medal would join hers right up the back of the cupboard somewhere. Somewhere we didn't have to think about it.

I heard Miley sigh as I watched her pick up the snow globe and shake it. The snow spun around the inside of glass as I stood there trying to make myself feel better but there wasn't a lot that could be said or done right now. We didn't have a choice but to go tonight, we were expected and there was no way we could skip the event where we were the recipients. It didn't work like that.

"Let's just look forward to coming home?" I suggested as Miley turned looking back at me, "You can help me pack and then we'll remove that dress because I think it should definitely be put in the back of the cupboard with our medals."

Miley's smile grew once more as she nodded, "That sounds amazing."

"It does, now we should leave." I mumbled looking at my watch, "Or we'll be late."

"Wouldn't want the Commissioner to fire us, oh wait." Miley smirked.

I rolled my eyes doing one last check in the mirror, "He may not be able to fire you, but hell he can punish me for your behavior so no messing about Mi." I responded double-checking that my shoes were polished enough.

Miley shoved me in the side, "You're such a suck up. Come on you look fine."

I nodded in agreement offering Miley my hand, which she accepted.

"We just need to be strong tonight."

"For Selena and Justin." Miley agreed.

"And for ourselves. This is the end of one part of our life, and the start of something new." I responded seriously as Miley grinned, ideas consuming my mind.

"Yep, and this time we aren't waiting for anyone."

"Exactly, fuck waiting for anything. It's time we decide our own futures and live in the moment." I proclaimed knowing that this was the start of something great.

We'd been through a lot, and tonight we'd be putting one stage of our life behind us for good. We weren't going to forget what happened of course, but we were going to fill the painful sections in our minds with more important ones. With happier memories. And from tonight I could just tell life was going to be a lot more chaotic but so much God damn fun. And in the process we'd make our parents proud, because we'd be the individuals we were supposed to be and not the ones we felt obliged to become. Miley and me were going to be ourselves for the first time in our adult lives.

Miley.

"Your dress is ugly." Demi whispered to me.

I turned and looked at her while the Chief of the New York Police Department proceeded to inform the audience about the years more cheerful events. "I mean you could have worn anything, and you decided to actually follow the dress code?" Demi whispered as I looked at her uniform.

"Well I don't like standing out. Plus I'm going to have enough attention, at least by wearing a boring navy blue dress I won't stick in people's minds." I responded in a whisper. "And you're wearing your uniform, so you can hardly talk."

"You're joking right? Firstly I have no choice, I still work in the department. And you realize everyone knows who you are. You are always going to stand out, well across the New York departments anyway." Demi responded a little louder this time.

I rolled my eyes. "People will forget about-"

Demi shook her head. "No. No they won't. You're a legacy now. You always will be."

"Because of my parents." I murmured disappointed.

Demi snorted, "No because you saved us Miley…" I turned and looked at her, while she stared at me filled with honesty. "And because of how much of a scandal it was finding out Jason was your Uncle."

I once again rolled my eyes turning back to watching the Chief,

"I hate that you're leaving, but we're still going to be close right? Like nothing will change?" Demi whispered once more.

I felt my stomach drop as I turned to her, "Of course we are, I mean you're my only girlfriend." Demi looked at me hopeful, "If you want I'll even bring you lunch and stalk your patrols, I'll make it feel like I never even left?" Demi's grin grew and she nodded looking relieved.

"Good, It's hard losing you and Selena…I mean I haven't lost you but…" She trailed off frowning, as I reached over putting my hand over hers. Demi looked at me and just smiled.

"When I get back from Europe, you and me are going to have serious girl time. Movies, shopping, running in the park and hell we can do double dates with stupid and stupider. I may not be around at work but I'm always going to be there for you Demi, just like you were for me." I responded quietly.

She looked at me her grin spreading, "Same goes for you. I mean if you have a fight with Nick next week I'm more then happy to go to Europe with you."

I smiled and nodded, "Deal."

"Now we welcome the Commissioner of the New York Police Department to give his annual speech and present this years recipients of medals to current and former members of the states force for meritorious service." The Chief announced as I instantly stiffened.

The second my Uncle walked onto the stage, everyone around me moved to his or her feet and saluted. I looked across at Nick who was blank of emotion, his fingers pressed tightly against his forehead while he stared at me. We exchanged a look and he gave me expectant eyes. I nodded and stood up, but didn't press my hand to my head. This choice hurt just as much as not wearing my uniform tonight, but it was necessary because I needed to make a clear cut from this life before I could begin my new one.

I stood looking at Jason with respect like those around me, but it was not because he was my boss but rather my Uncle and the man who had no choice but to raise me as his own even though he wasn't ready for the challenge. He'd accepted it anyway because Jason knew he had to put his future on hold in order to secure mine.

He shook hands with the Chief while the clapping filled our ears from the families and friends who had been invited to tonight's proceedings. The thought instantly made me feel sick because in a matter of moments I'd be up there, with Selena and Justin's parents.

Jason cleared his throat and looked across the packed auditorium,

"Please be seated."

I dropped back into my seat at once swallowing a lump in my throat,

I could do this.

"This year has been hard." Jason began staring down for a moment before looking up once more. "Not just for the city department but for all of us as we come to terms with the dangers involved with this job. It is often easy to forget how every day we risk our lives protecting other as we go about our mediocre paperwork and patrols, but it only takes a rare moment for reality to set in when a serious situation occurs."

I closed my eyes not knowing what to think, or if I even wanted to listen to this.

"That moment for me has occurred twice during my career, once when I was on duty and the other while I was off duty proving that as police we are never really vacant from this job. It's always in the back of minds and it leaves us prepared twenty four seven for the worst case scenario." He continued as I looked up knowing I did want to listen to him, because I knew like everyone one else did Jason never opened up about this stuff. Yet he was now.

"For me the reality of this job was first presented to me on September 11, I was an officer who had just been promoted, I was young in love and believed I had the world ahead of me. That day felt no different to all the others, yet suddenly it became horrific. All it took was a moment and suddenly everything changed." Jason shook his head staring down, "Suddenly it became hell on Earth, and everything in me felt sick because I couldn't do anything to help."

Jason look down again as I twisted my hands together feeling sick.

"I was reintroduced more recently to that same feeling when the attack against our departments family occurred." Jason proclaimed looking out once more, his voice so steady while I felt myself falling apart. "Both times officers were killed in the line of duty, and both times I was faced with the harsh truth that although I had the skills to act, I wasn't there to enact them."

"But we are a family here and even though I couldn't act in those two scenarios others did and sacrificed their lives to do so. They acted with courage and bravery to which there is no dispute. All the fallen are remembered as heroes." Jason stated looking around this time, his eyes searching.

"And at times I know this job feels hopeless, especially now after such a horrible occurrence but we must stay strong and rebuild like we have before because we always have hope." Jason stated his eyes still searching, "We will not let those we lost serving the department die in vain"

Jason's eyes suddenly stopped, staring directly at mine. "We will use their bravery, as I did in 2001, and find something positive to embrace. Because as a young man I felt at a loss to how I could continue in the force after that day, as many of you do now I felt as though my job had failed me. Yet then I saw this little eight-year-old girl, wide eyed sitting on a swing looking at the sky for parents who would never return, and as lost as I felt in that moment, it also gave me hope. Hope, because I knew I had to take control and led for that moment in time in order to even attempt to reconstruct the lives we'd once had."

I felt the tears building, and Demi's arm wrap around my shoulders. Jason gave me a weak smile and looked away once more,

"We are a family here, and when one falls everyone else has to work together to pick up the pieces. We lead, we do not follow, and we lead from those who we have lost because they are the ones who sacrificed the most. So when this job feels too much, or becomes easy just stop and remember. There is always someone else who needs help and without all of you, together, that person may go unnoticed. We are a family and we need to stick together."

Jason stepped back slightly, as the auditorium began to fill with applause. The tense atmosphere soon diminished as Jason smiled leaning back towards the microphone,

"Now it's time to honor those who have led this year and gone beyond the call of duty with our medal presentation. We will begin with excellent police duty…"

I leaned back into my chair as the names began to be called. Demi squeezed my shoulders as I turned to her,

"You were that little girl weren't you?" She asked me quietly as I sighed and nodded.

"I was."

Demi brought me closer, looking across the room. "Can you send Nick a smile, he looks like he's having a nervous break down across the room." I laughed and looked over to see my boyfriend on the edge of his chair, as I gave him a smile.

Nick looked at me concerned, "You okay?" He mouthed.

I smiled and nodded giving him the thumbs up.

I let my mind concentrate on the presentation as the stage began to fill with smiling officers donning sparkling medals. But soon I became distracted and instead watched Jason as he went about his job, a look of relief consuming his face every time he correctly pronounced a challenging name. For a moment I wondered, what would his life had been like if I hadn't been directly part of it? Would I have nieces and nephews? Would he have beaten my dad to become Commissioner? Would he be a different person?

I would never know those answers but I did know one thing. He would have always been there for me, regardless of what happened that day.

"We now move onto the Medal of Valor, in which we have two very deserving recipients the first of those being Nick Jonas for outstanding bravery in the line of duty with knowledge of the immediate personal risk." Jason announced as Demi was instantly on her feet clapping and I quickly followed suit smiling as I watched Nick walk up on stage.

I stopped clapping to watch the interaction between the two men in my life. Jason held out his hand shaking it, and I watched as he spoke to Nick quietly while pinning the medal to his uniform.

"I wonder what he's saying…" I couldn't help but murmur.

"You're about to find out, you're next you realize." I turned to Demi who grinned as I sat down realizing she was right, this was the moment I'd been dreading.

"And the second goes to Destiny Hope Stewart for quick thinking in a time of need and defying ones of own welfare in order to successful protect her fellow officers." I winced the second Jason said my name, could he not have said Miley? "We also thank her for her service and wish Miss Stewart success for the future as she embarks on a future away from the force."

I awkwardly rose to my feet, while Demi jumped up and slammed her hand against my back in encouragement clapping away. I could hear and see people cheering for me yet it still felt wrong. It felt completely wrong. I didn't look at Jason until I was right in front of him. His eyes looked at mine, and I couldn't even smile because this hurt too much. A medal wasn't going to make this better. A medal wouldn't make me feel like a hero.

Jason's smile fell as he offered me his hand, which I reached out taking reluctantly. I looked down staring as our hands clasped together watching them move while the sound of clapping filled my ears.

"Congratulations, on behalf of a-"

"I don't care." I cut him off looking up. "Don't bother Jase."

Jason just stared at me dropping his hand, "Miley-"

"This isn't going to help. It never will." I whispered simply as Jason just nodded looking pained. He went to pin the medal on me only to stop, instead handing to me.

"You're so much like them. It scares me sometimes."

I looked at Jason confused as he pinched his lips, "Don't be mad at me, but there is something I need to do tonight for myself because I can't keep them locked in my desk anymore."

Without another word he turned back to the crowed as I forced myself to move, not knowing what that meant. The second I reached the other side arms were around me, as I just gave Nick a look and shook my head pushing the medal into his hand.

"I don't want it. I never wanted this." I whispered panicked.

Nick sighed, "I know okay, let's just get through this. It's okay."

So I stood there and watched as Jason moved on. When it came to the Purple Shield I'd prepared myself, it was the last award and by far the most prestigious. Only those who were injured or killed in the line of duty received it and I knew I'd hear Justin and Selena's names. So I watched the crowed waiting to see their families and see the grief that I knew far too well.

"…To be presented to the family of Selena"

My head snapped back hearing the name as Nick's grip on me tightened and I watched her mom come up, smiling proudly. I stared at her confused as the entire room rose to their feet, I'd expected her to be sad yet she was smiling?

"…To be presented to the family of Justin"

Yet again I watched confused as Justin's mother came up smiling, accepting the award on behalf of her son looking so utterly blessed. Yet I didn't understand how she could be like that, while I felt like throwing my medal into the Hudson the first chance I got.

"And finally I would like to present two more purple shields from over ten years ago which have not been accepted by the family due to personal circumstances. The recipient of these two awards is unbeknownst to their existence until now, and that I apologies for but there was never a right time for them to be presented and it wasn't my place to take them from a more deserving individual." I looked up confused, a sickening feeling flooding through me.

Jason looked over to me awkwardly as I closed my eyes realizing,

My parents had been awarded the purple shield and I'd never known.

"I award the purple shield to Leticia and Billy Stewart for giving their life in order to protect others, this award will be presented to daughter Miley Stewart."

I stood there frozen for a second, panic setting in. I opened my eyes and looked at Nick whose eyes were just staring at me, analyzing me before he spoke just in case he said the wrong thing. Before he could utter a word though, I made my decision and turned back to Jason as the applause started.

I walked slowly along the stage back to him, as he just stared at me.

"I'm sorry I should have told you, it was wrong of me, but I knew it would just make you feel worse and I didn't want to hurt you anymore. But you've made so much progress, and I knew I'd never get a chance like this again. I've been waiting so long for this moment because I never could take these from you, they aren't meant for me." He began holding out the two boxes.

I stared at them and the nodded taking them, feeling a sense of pride that my parents had been given the highest possible honour. Jason was right last year I would have been so horrified by these two medals, that I would have had a break down on the stage, but now it felt good having the acknowledgement that my parents died being heroes.

"Thank you," I whispered quietly.

I moved to walk away as Jason grabbed my arm. I looked up at Jason confused as he smiled. "Miley these awards, they are never for the person who receives them, they're for the family. Your Medal of Valor may be a horrible reminder for you, but to me, to your future family they document that you were a hero. I can see it in your eyes right now you are honoured to have the purple shield of your parents while they would have hated them. Medals provide a true story, one that often the recipient can't justify."

Jason leaned over and kissed the side of my head, "I love you, so much and I think you are a hero."

I felt a small smile slip out as I nodded, "I love you too."

"Good, now let's wrap this presentation up. We have a party to attend."

I gave him another confused look and turned walking back to Nick, who instantly enveloped me in a hug. "I don't know what was more shocking, the fact you managed to not just cry when even Demi over there was, or the fact the Commissioner just actually showed he has a heart."

I laughed and kissed Nick's cheek, then his lips, then his other cheek holding my two medals closer. Nick smiled and pressed mine back into my empty hand as I accepted it knowing Jason was right, I would never appreciate it, but someone would one day.

"That ends tonight proceedings, thank you all those in attendance and have a safe journey home."

The room literally exploded into discussion as I pressed myself into Nick emotionally drained. We stood there for a few minutes silent in a room so loud I could barely think.

"She okay?" I heard Demi whisper concerned.

"She's fine, why are you looking so eager…"

"Oh well, you see…" I heard Joe begin as I broke away from Nick.

We looked at the couple, while I noticed a lot of our department lingering with excited eyes and hopeful smiles. Even Jason was looking happy while talking to a few of the board members,

"We planned a party of sorts." Joe began looking to Demi.

Demi nodded grinning, "To wish you guys Bon Voyage."

I instantly frowned, "Bon Voyage? We're only leaving for-"

"You're leaving the workplace, our family, and it's tradition everyone who leaves gets a party. So we organized it and everyone is coming so turn those frowns upside now and get ready to get smashed." Joe proclaimed grinning with Demi as I turned looking at Nick.

"Did you know about-"

"No." He cut off, "No idea, but now I understand what Jason meant when he told me that he expected us both to be sober by the time the plane leaves tomorrow when I accepted my award."

"So…are you ready for the best night of your lives?" Demi asked grinning.

I looked back to her and then at Joe, their excitement overwhelming.

"I suppose so…?"

"Then let's get this party started, everyone to the taxis. You know the plan!" Joe yelled over the lingering crowded who all nodded cheerfully,

"They have a plan," Nick hissed, "We are in trouble."

I groaned fretting, "Tell me about it."

Suddenly I felt a hand press against my back as I looked up to find Jason. He gave Demi and Joe a look, which sent both of them motioning with their hands to the doors, "We'll be out front" "Near the Taxis" "Outside, yeah…okay?"

Both of them bolted leaving us with Jason, who just looked at us,

"Remember the plane leaves at one pm." He spoke seriously, focusing on Nick. "Please bring my niece to me in an upright position, preferable showered and not off her face on any substance legal or not."

I frowned, "Hey I'm not going to drink…" Jason looked at me, "Much."

"Uhuh. Tomorrow plane. Be there. Or you'll have Denise and me to answer to." Jason snapped walking off.

"Great," Nick sighed. "I can't wait to leave this place."

"You and me both, just think of Europe."

I looked up at Nick who smiled and moved his hand up touching my cheek, "This is it, the end of our time as cops." I nodded in agreement, "We've just increased out likelihood of living to a ripe old age together."

"Together? We getting married now?" I asked as Nick laughed,

"Yeah didn't I tell you? And we're have six kids." Nick joked.

I snorted, "God no, I'm not having six kids. Two, maybe three tops."

Nick laughed and kissed the side of my head, "How about we plan as far ahead as tomorrow and catching the plane? Anything further then that might be hard to predict" He suggested and I nodded in agreement.

"Sounds good, but I do like the sound of marriage, kids, a family."

Nick smirked and nodded. "Me too, but for now I think we should wait."

I smiled kissing him, "Remember, I'm not waiting for anything anymore."

I watched Nick's reaction as he looked at me nervously. I laughed pushing him away, "I was joking, and you're right marriage and kids can wait. Everything requires time; it's just how much which is the issue."

"Talking about requiring time, I remember we had plans for tonight." Nick murmured disappointed.

I looked at Nick who was staring at me intensely, "That we did,"

Nick leaned forward kissing the side of cheek, "But the party…"

I moved my hand to his hip smirking, feeling a rush of longing.

"They can definitely wait…"

A.N: Yay it's finished- well next chapter is the epilogue which will be in 2 parts. :) Thanks for the reviews.