Introductory Author's Note: A brief warning - I will be ending most, if not all, chapters with cliffhangers. I apologize if this series goes into a lengthy hiatus. I don't plan for it to happen anytime soon, since I'm stocked with ideas. I've been planning this story for about two months, so I should be pumping out chapters every day or every other day for now. Enjoy the adventures!

Disclaimer: The Fallout franchise belongs to Bethesda Game Studios.

Chapter 2:
Unlikely Union

When dawn broke across the desolate landscape of the wastes, Argyle knew he was going to be in a foul mood all day. Due to the romantic interlude and immaculate presentation by Herbert Daring Dashwood, he had succeeded in captivating the heart of dreamy Ronnie, who giggled and cuddled with him all night on top of the car. Meanwhile, Argyle resorted to sleeping on the cold hard pavement, and he hated how much his left side hurt when he awoke. He stretched out, his bones and muscles tense from staying the same resting position for far too long. Even when he regained consciousness, those two were still flirtatiously mingling with each other.

"Dear God!" Dashwood finally cried something other than flattering remarks. "You're a ghoul!"

"You couldn't tell by the rotting flesh and groggy voice?" Ronnie innocently asked.

"Oh my, no." Dashwood said bashfully. "It was so dark, I couldn't see a thing!"

"Hey, you gonna dump her now that you know she's a ghoul?" Argyle fumed, glaring evilly at the supposed perfect couple, especially at the man who stole his former girlfriend.

"Dear God!" Dashwood exclaimed again, giving an aghast expression at Argyle's face. "You're a ghoul too!?"

"No." Argyle said sarcastically.

"I suppose that even the best mistakes are made in the dark." Dashwood joked, although neither of the ghouls laughed. Ronnie stared, perhaps in anticipation of rejection, especially by the look of horror Dashwood had on his face the moment he realized that she didn't actually have a face. Instead, he maintained the compassion he previously displayed, although his tone was generously more sympathetic. Dashwood chuckled nervously, "Madame, I'm sorry that you are in this state, and I dearly wish there was a cure for radiation poisoning." He said, gulping, because he had never interacted, let alone became intimately connected, with a real-life ghoul before.

"Thank you, your words are very kind." Ronnie said quietly, glancing over at Argyle with an indifferent stare. "You really know how to treat a lady." That statement seemed like an indirect stab in the back, particularly at Argyle. He really didn't appreciate that, and he bowed his head in shame - why did he throw her off a car, again?

"I'm sick of this." Argyle was finally fed up. He stood upright, took a rock, and threw it at a rubber tire. It clanked loudly, getting Dashwood's attention. "Look, man, I don't care who you are, but you ruined my only chances with her. You've ruined my life!"

"Easy there." Dashwood said, putting his hands up, and stepping down from the car. Now he was directly facing Argyle, who was giving a blank and menacing glare, and if looks could kill, Dashwood would be a puddle of blood on the cement. "I had no intention of courting the young miss." Dashwood tried clarifying the situation, which in all reality was making him dig his own grave. "We simply hit it off because of our spectacular chemistry."

"Shut up!" Argyle hissed, almost in a feral-like manner, slowly approaching closer. He was crouching, almost like an animal, prepared to unleash its full wrath upon its prey. His beady eyes bored into Dashwood's expression, angry and sorrowful. "I don't know what exactly happened between you two, but she's mine and I'm willing to fight for her."

"Yeah, no." Ronnie said, hopping off the car. "You two are charming, but... I'm sorry, I have better things to do." She said as politely as she could, although she still came off as rude. "Good-bye." She said sheepishly, running downhill and out of sight. The two men blankly stared at her until she was barely visible across the scorched sages and natural wasteland haze.

"... I'm sorry, what were we fighting about?" Argyle asked, nervously scratching the back of his head.

"Without the woman, we don't really have much of a quarrel, do we?" Dashwood asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I guess we really don't. Well, damn." Argyle said in amazement. "All that fighting over some broad?"

"I'm terribly sorry about that huge mess." Dashwood still apologized, holding out his hands, and giving Argyle the eager two-handed handshake. "I would never steal somebody's girlfriend, but by her mannerisms, she appeared to be single."

"Seems like I was never important to her after all." Argyle sighed in disappointment. "Oh well, that's history. I'm never dating again."

"Don't be dismayed!" Dashwood proclaimed. "I am Herbert Daring Dashwood, and I will find you the perfect woman even if it means scouring the entire Wasteland, from East Coast to West!"

"Oh, please..." Argyle groggily exhaled. "Don't."

By the time the mid-morning sun blared down at the Wasteland, the unlikely pair found themselves aimlessly wandering west in order to seek shelter from the forbidding heat. They trudged along prickly weeds and green-yellow bushes, thick with radioactive ashes from last night's celebration. Dashwood led the way, pushing forward with a confident stride and his head held high. Argyle followed his footsteps, hanging his head and crossing his arms. He was clearly still not over his recent girlfriend, and couldn't believe that his first date happened to also be his last. Such was life in the wastes.

"Alas, I have found shade!" Dashwood announced, holding his arms up and beholding a massive cliffside.

"Gee, this looks like Raider territory." Argyle said apprehensively, glancing at the barbed wire tattered along the ground, and the obvious hanging blood-soaked corpses overhead.

"You worry too much, my benevolent acquaintance!" Dashwood exclaimed. "However, we have obtained shade, and we should be proud of our discovery."

"Day or night, Raiders stalk outposts like this." Argyle shivered. "Are you new to the Wasteland or something?"

"Hardly so!" Dashwood said. "Perhaps just a little. I've seen the wastes my whole life... from an eighteenth story window atop the luxurious Tenpenny Tower."

"God help me." Argyle buried his face into his palm.

"Nevertheless, this shade should be able to protect us from cosmic rays for the duration of today's daylight!" Dashwood beamed. "Or perhaps we could explore this cave should boredom get the best of us."

"I hope you're not easy bored, because I sure ain't." Argyle crossed his arms, and leaned against a giant boulder. His side stung from last night's terrible sleep. He cringed briefly, but he masked it with the most apathetic expression he could muster.

"I'm bored - onwards to the next adventure!" Dashwood shouted, kicking in the door, and entering one of the most dangerous Raider outposts, Cliffside Cavern. Argyle swore under his breath as the unruly adventurer rampaged into the hazardous cave, which was infested to the brim with malicious Raiders. Now that he had more background on the man, he knew for a fact he wouldn't survive this ambush. He was too pampered and naive from his upbringing at Tenpenny. Without giving it much thought as to whether or not he liked this Dashwood person very much, Argyle stormed into Cliffside Cavern to rescue him.

Dashwood was engaged in a ruthless battle, between Raiders stocked with heavy weapons, while he wielded only a makeshift sword. A melee weapon isn't very effective against mini-guns and missile launchers - Argyle knew this. Battered and bruised from taking multiple bullets and missiles to the face, Dashwood found himself weakening and shifting backward. "Hold on, let me catch my breath..." He panted.

"Fresh meat!" A Raider cried out happily, upon seeing how defeated he looked.

"Chop, chop!" Argyle replied, swinging past Dashwood, and using his bare fists to break the necks of two Raiders. His flattened hands served as sharp knives, during any brawl. Seeing his unarmed skills, the heavy weapons Raiders pointed their projectiles at him. However, they weren't prepared for Argyle's astounding dodges and crippling punches. He barely seemed to be doing any effort, either. So easily, he was decapitating, amputating, maiming, and crippling any Raider that dared to get within his reach.

"The ghoul's crazy!" A Raider called out. "Fall back if you don't want to die!"

With that, the remaining Raiders scattered deep into the caves, and the surroundings fell silent again. "They'll be back." Argyle folded his arms, and peered into the damp cave network ahead of them.

"Good golly..." Dashwood stared, with an expression of eternal gratitude. "You saved my life..."

"Yeah, don't mention it." Argyle scratched the back of his neck. "All in a day's work."

"I am extremely impressed with your martial arts." Dashwood said, jabbing a Stimpak into his arm to regain the health he lost during the Raider battle. "Where did you learn to fight like that?"

"Throughout my navigation in the wastes." Argyle casually lied. He casually reached into his left pocket and grabbed a pack of cigarettes. He delicately tasted the cigarette as it rolled onto his tongue, and he lit it with his handy lighter. He took a deep inhale, and puffed out a blanket of round smoke.

"Listen, I know we just met, and this will probably be a difficult decision." Dashwood explained. "Would you like to be my manservant?"

"Beg pardon?" Argyle's eyebrow rose, shifting the cigarette between his teeth. "Just because I'm a ghoul, you think I'm a slave?"

"No, you're not a slave, but you are socially underprivileged." Dashwood stated bluntly. "Face it. Outside of ghoul-only cities, what chances do you have surviving, especially against humans without mutations of any kind?"

Argyle bowed his head. "Look. I appreciate your concern for me, but I'm not going to sell myself into slavery."

"You are not a slave." Dashwood emphasized. "You can choose to follow me out of your own free will. Following me means gaining privileges amongst human settlements, increasing the likelihood that you won't be shot at for wandering the Wasteland."

Argyle's eyebrows raised. "Well, crap! You're right." He thoughtfully stroked his chin, still playing with the cigarette in his mouth. "I haven't been able to freely travel for a century because of how tight the situation's got in D.C. In that case, eh..." Argyle stared deeply and thoughtfully into Dashwood's innocent and well-intended expression. "Okay, I'll do it, under very particular conditions."

"Under your terms?" Dashwood asked. "Is that how servitude works?"

"Hey, servitude under my own free will." Argyle stressed. "Listen, I'll follow you if, and only if, you give me my space. If I don't want to answer a question, I reserve the right to not answer it. Let me keep my thoughts to myself. Also, I won't do something that compromises my beliefs, and above all else, I will not do dates. If you respect all that, I'll take care of you."

"Deal!" Dashwood quickly agreed. "By golly, I've got a ghoul manservant!"

"Please don't call me that just yet, it's too early." Argyle groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose - or what was left of it.

"My apologies, dear chum." Dashwood said. "Say! I don't believe I've ever asked for your name."

"It's Argyle." He said, stomping out his cigarette.

"That's all?" Dashwood asked.

"You were expecting more?" Argyle asked.

"I suppose simple can be tasteful." Dashwood pondered.

"Take it or leave it." Argyle shrugged.

Author's Note: I'm certain that I covered the introduction of Herbert Daring Dashwood and Argyle. They're supposed to be rather informal and indifferent to each other at first, since they are just acquaintances, after all. However, the friendship is already budding in its own odd way, and soon, they'll be taking out to the Wasteland and having adventures. Despite the heartbreak Argyle has experienced, he's willing to give redemption to the currently clueless Dashwood. Thanks for the read! Stay tuned for the next episode.