Spoilers:Everything that's aired and my own suspicions for Season 5

Warnings. Non-Con and possible Wincest in later chapters, I'm not particularly nice to Sam. Character Death, also they might be a little Blasphemy.

Notes: References to the Poem 'Paradise Lost' by John Milton. This chapter was originally longer but I decided to split it into two, so they will be another chapter along very soon.

Castiel sent out a prayer to his Father, three more of his Brothers and several Hunters had lost their lives. They'd managed to keep the Demons from advancing from Chile's coast line but at the expense of those that had fallen.

The armies of Hell were getting stronger everyday and Castiel didn't know how much longer they could hope to hold out. The Garrison was losing soldiers daily and Castiel knew it wouldn't be long until the Host decided that they couldn't save Earth and eventually abandoned humanity to its fate.

Castiel would never leave though, they'd have to drag him back because he'd never leave voluntary. He would never abandon Dean.

Castiel shifted his stare from the floor to the Crucifix which stood just a few feet ahead of him. His grasp tighter on the Rosary in his hand. It had belonged to one of the fallen Hunters. He had begged Castiel to prayer for his soul so that it may enter Heaven and be with his family. Castiel didn't have the heart to tell him that Heaven had shut her gates, so to speak. Only the Garrison had freedom to come and go; all the souls of the fallen were stuck in Purgatory, free from Judgement until the war ended. No souls were entering Heaven, but then again there were no souls entering Hell either, except for those who had sealed their own fate with a deal.

Castiel ran his fingers gently across the beads of the Rosary; they were still coated in the Hunter's blood. Another death on Castiel's conscious. The Hunter had been a good man. He'd been Spanish. He'd managed to escape Europe just before it's fall to Hell but he'd lost his family. He'd thought about killing himself as well, only to found by one of the Garrison and brought to South America before he could actually do it. He'd lost everything and still he had his Faith and he'd followed the Garrison into battle.

Castiel wished that there was a way to keep humanity from this fight, keep them safe. Keep Dean safe but as he's said before, the armies of Heaven aren't limitless and humanity was much a part of this fight as Heaven was now.

Castiel had been there during fall of Lucifer and his followers, the first ever Demons and Heaven created them. The fault for this war had fallen on the shoulders of Heaven and Earth had just been caught in the crossfire ever since Lucifer took in Lilith after her banishment from the Garden and tempted Eve with the Apple.

To be fair to Lilith it wasn't until she entered Hell that her problems started. All she'd wanted was to be equal to Adam but instead she found herself cast out and forced to survive on her own. The Host had realised their mistake too late because the next time they saw Lilith she'd been completely transformed by Lucifer and Hell. She was an equal to be sure but she'd sold her soul to get there.

Castiel sighed and wiped the Hunter's blood off the rest of the Rosary before gently placing a kiss to the Crucifix at the end of it.

"Father please...please."

Castiel wanted to beg for Dean's safety, the safety of his Father's entire beautiful creation but he couldn't find the words and he knew his Father couldn't intercede. He'd already allowed his armies to fight on Earth; there wasn't anything more he could do.

"Castiel?"

Castiel looked back and saw a woman walking towards him, well a woman's body at least.

"Abdiel."

The woman sat next to him and smiled gently before taking notice of the Rosary in his hands.

"It's amazing how they believe they need all this in order to please our Father, they should have more Faith."

Castiel chuckled slightly at her 'joke' before nodding.

"I did not know you were here."

Abdiel nodded gently and smiled.

"Well, it seems only right does it not?"

Castiel nodded slowly and leant forward with a sigh. Abdiel watched him for a moment for adopting the same pose.

"Castiel...I know the battle you face in your heart. I felt the same thing when I refused Lucifer's orders and returned to our Father. It's called doubt and I know that you feel it. I doubted Lucifer and I'm glad I did. Doubt is not necessarily a bad thing Castiel."

Castiel turned his head and stared at her.

"And if it is our Father I doubt?"

Abdiel sat back and stared at Castiel for a moment, her eyes gave the impression she was very deeply in thought, before responding.

"Then you must have legitimate reason Castiel. You have freewill, you have thoughts, you have emotions...despite what Anna may have said."

The name Anna rolled off her tongue with spite and disgust, they'd never liked each other even in Heaven. Anna, or Sariel has she had once been known, had always doubted Abdiel after her return from Lucifer. She had never completely believed that the returned hadn't been some sort of plot from Hell.

"Follow your Faith Castiel and if that Faith happens to be in the Winchester boy..."

"Dean." Castiel interrupted and Abdiel nodded slowly and smiled.

"I apologise...Dean. If your Faith is in him than follow it. Our Father chose him for a reason Castiel. Our Father must have Faith in him."

Castiel nodded slowly and sat back against the Pew.

"I know that all this is a part of our Father's design, I just wish I knew how this war will affect Dean. He has already lost his brother...even if we can eventually save him he will never be the same. He nearly lost Bobby. Dean is tired, he still has Faith but...I don't know how much longer that will last."

Abdiel nodded and stood up, smiling at Castiel.

"The fact that Dean even has Faith in our Father and Heaven is an amazing achievement on your part. Dean didn't have Faith until he met you."

Castiel nodded slowly. She was right of course. Dean hadn't believe in anything like God and Heaven until he'd met Castiel and now he had a strong Faith in Heaven, even after everything.

Abdiel stood up and smiled at Castiel.

"I have to go, but if you need me Castiel...for anything, just call and I'll come."

Castiel nodded slowly and with a rustle of feathers Abdiel disappeared.

**