I do not own these characters. The ones I do own are assholes so I don't lay claim to them either. Okay, I do.
This is the first three chapter of the journal entries. I will quickly get through them to the good stuff. Promise! Please Review.
Edward.
I looked out on our living room unprepared for what I was about to see. There was silver, black and white streamers around the whole room with balloons to match. A clear plastic raised dj booth in the corner and a four-sided jumbotron hanging from the ceiling.
I panicked. Bella was going to flip. Not in the good way.
"Alice." I called just loud enough for her to hear. I heard her excuse herself and caught a brief glimpse of my angel in her minds eye. The unneeded breath I was taking got caught in my throat.
"You peeked!" Alice whined from the top of the stairs. I shook my head left to right to clear my head. "Yes you did!" She stomped her foot with comical disproportion to her size. "You look like you were just hit with multiple battering rams."
"She looks breathtaking Alice." I sighed nearly forgetting about why I called her out here until some glitter caught my attention. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the center of the room. She looked at me questioningly. I gestured wildly with my arms to the décor.
"Oh… That." she said with an impish smile.
"Bella's not going to appreciate the theatrics. In fact, she asked for a small gathering and it looks to me like your having an MTV worthy bash."
"Come on Edward," she looked up from under her eyelashes, "She's only going to turn 17 once."
"You used that excuse when she turned 16. And we all know how that one turned out."
"She's going to love it by the end of the night. Trust me." She dashed upstairs without another word.
Bella.
I found it curious when Alice excused herself without notice. I guess it's the birthday girls job to be paranoid that people are plotting all day. She advised me that it was in my best interest not to look in a mirror and that she would know if I had.
She danced back into the room with a garment bag.
"Am I going to like it?" I asked her already knowing the answer.
"Why would you ask a silly question you already know the answer to?" Alice let out a short bell like laugh. I laughed with her and covered my face while she unzipped.
"Arms up." She said and I complied with a little pout. I'll never know how she reaches over my head but a moment later I felt satin brushing the back of my knees. Alice steered me toward the mirror and instructed me to open my eyes.
Edward.
I opened the door for almost the entire town. I had to give it to Alice that everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Bella hadn't come down yet but she was expected any minute for her grand entrance. Alice had been very careful with her thought since that one mix-up earlier in the evening.
Emmett and Rose were on the dance floor most of the night and everyone kept a distance as they watched openly. Jasper had steeled close to the bar where they were serving mock tails to all the under aged guests.
I had just settled down on the arm of a chair that had an unobstructed view of the staircase when the doorbell rang again. Through the frosted glass I saw a very familiar spiky head of hair.
"What are you doing out here Alice. Shouldn't you be bringing Bella down?"
"I think she can manage finding her way downstairs in her own home." She shrugged, "Besides I didn't want to miss the look on your face." Her eyes shifted to the staircase behind me at the same moment a collective gasp went through the crowd. I spun on my heels to watch Bella descend the stairs in what appeared to be slow motion.
Her smile was always the first thing to catch my attention. My gaze followed the flow of her hair to her collarbone where I could see her pulse jumping. The blue satin dress she wore, tied up around her neck and fell to just below her knees. I watched as her foot trembled midstep, which combined with the dangerous height of her blue heels… she tripped.
I was at the door and there was no way I could have caught her myself without drawing attention. Instead she fell into a tall boys arms wearing a letterman's jacket that said Lucas on the sleeve. My favourite shade of red stained her cheeks as she thanked him and turned quickly away. I would have to keep a close eye on her tonight to make sure she didn't fall for some other guy. Into, into some other guy.
"You're face." Alice trilled beside me. Totally worth it.
Bella.
I was making my rounds of the room. The decorations were a bit much but it was hard not to be caught up into the spirit of things. Yet another classmate I had never seen before introduced themselves to me and wished me a Happy Birthday. They were all starting to blend together.
I was about to retire to the snack table when I was tapped on the shoulder.
"Would you like to dance?" A cute boy asked me.
Alice was watching me from the corner next to Jasper. "I'd like that." I replied with a smile. "It's Mike, right?" I asked trying to recall his name from when he introduced himself earlier.
"Mark actually." He sighed. I cursed myself for my poor recollection of names. A dance song was on and I mentally prepared myself for the embarrassment I was sure to bring upon myself. I was about to apologize in advance when he yanked me against his body and grinded to some other rhythm I couldn't hear.
"Umm…" I started. One of his hands travelled down my shoulder to my hip and kept moving in a southerly direction . "Could you…?"
Edward.
Jealousy raged in my chest as the meat puppet's thoughts ran rampant about Bella. The only reason his arms were still connected to his body was that I didn't want to embarrass Bella at her own party. Then his hands started to travel further then I would allow and Bella had a look of distress on her face.
I was about to take matters into my own hands when Emmett interceded. He didn't ask for permission as he grabbed Bella's hand and spun her to his own chest. She tumbled into him with a laugh and he proceeded to spin her again.
He shot a look at me across the dance floor. I request a song for you brother. I raised a quizzical eyebrow at his choice of words. I mean… EWWW. I meant I requested one for you and Bella. I smiled at how thoughtful he had been.
As the dance song winded to a close a soft acoustic version of The Way You Look Tonight started playing. The raspy vocals of some female artist I never heard before echoed as I glided over to Bella who was awkwardly trying to reach around Emmett's neck. I cleared my throat lightly.
"May I have this dance?" I asked.
Her face lit up like I hadn't seen it all night. I didn't notice Emmett excuse himself as Bella looked up into my eyes. I could get lost in her eyes. Focus Edward. Focus. I scolded myself.
She wrapped both her hands around my neck with ease. Her head came up to my chin with the heels she was wearing. I placed my own hands gently on her hips. A trill of excitement coursed through my body. She unconsciously took a step closer and I allowed my hands trailed further to the small of her back. I wondered momentarily if she had any idea the effect she had on me while she rested her head against my shoulder.
Our bodies were flush together as I swayed with her, leading her through the crowed. She closed her eyes and smiled while I watched even breathing. I blocked out all the jealous thoughts of the boys around us.
They didn't matter.
Tonight I was going to tell Bella the truth. She knew I loved her. I said it countless times, always willing her to see through the lie. I didn't just love her. I was in love with her.
It was coming near the end of the song. It felt like the shortest most glorious four minutes of my long life. She leaned back tilting her chin up to look at me but leaving her hips against mine. I was momentarily stunned. I couldn't help myself when I leaned in. Each inch closer I got my dead heart willed itself into my throat.
I watched Alice fall into Jasper behind Bella on the dance floor and caught a glimpse of… oh no.
I turned my head slightly to the side narrowly missing Bella's glorious mouth. I felt a pang of loss as my heart fell to the floor. I let my face linger next to hers, cheek to cheek.
"Edward?" she asked hesitantly. Her heart was fluttering in her chest.
"Happy Birthday my sweet Bella." I whispered in her ear. If I had of spoken the words I may have choked with disappointment.
It hurt me to turn my back on her and ascended the stair case.
"I'm sorry Edward." Alice whispered across the room. I thought of the Bella with blood red eyes in her vision from moments before.
"Me too."
OOoOoOo
Bella.
"Great party Bella." A red capped boy I couldn't recall ever seeing before in my life called. I smile and nodded in his direction.
"Your place is the shit Bells." A group of stoners hollered as I past them. I had been fielding similar congratulations all day.
Some cheerleaders walking by were practically cheering a collective 'hey'. I lifted my hand to wave at them effectively dropping all the books that were stacked in my arms to the floor.
It wasn't unusual for me to drop things. I fell to my knees in an effort to collect it all. When I reached for the last book a hand snatched it from my grasp and held it out to me. "Hi." said a voice belonging to the arm. I hastily stood up and tripped into him.
"Oh, crap." I scolded myself for tripping over nothing. "Sorry." I apologized looking up into his face.
"You do this a lot, Bella?" he asked me with a smile. My cheeks started to burn as I stared up at him. His blonde hair was falling into his blue eyes. "I don't mind, as long as I'm there to catch you before you fall."
"Th…thanks." I managed to speak. "Lucas." I brushed some of my hair behind my ear and thought I saw something spark behind his eyes. Hottest guy in school, well, hottest human. He couldn't possibly be interested in me. "Thanks for last night too. A room full of people watching and you saved me a bit of embarrassment."
"My pleasure."
I started to head toward my class. "Bella," he called after I made it a few steps. When I looked back his eyes wouldn't meet mine.
"YouWantToGoOutWithMeSometime?" He rushed out. I'd been trying to understand speed talking vampires for years so I caught every word… but they didn't make sense in that order.
"Like on a date?" I asked.
He met my eyes then. "Yeah. I would really like… well would you?"
"Yeah." I said startled. As soon as I said the word, dread filled my veins. What if this was a joke? I've never been on a date. What if I make a horrible date? And my biggest problem of all. What do humans like to do?
"GREAT." He seemed truly enthused. "I'll pick you up, Friday at 8?"
I nodded while thinking my last question. What on Earth am I going to tell Edward?
oOoOoOo
Edward.
Alice saw it. She always told me when a guy was going to ask Bella out. He asked her out. I wasn't able to bring myself to deter this humans advances.
Lucas. I thought the name as a sneer. I followed them a few nights back down the promenade. He was taking his time. Not going to push her and being perfectly gentlemanly. All I wanted, as I sat at the back of the movie theatre, was him to have one thought to justify my ripping his arms off.
And did he always have to wear that stupid football jacket everywhere. You're Lucas the quarterback. We know!
He paid for the check at dinner. I silently cheered at the time for his mistake. Bella scolded him just as I knew she would but he took it with grace.
I just stewed in my own jealous juices during the movie. When he moved his arm around her shoulder I let a growl escape. I had to get out of there.
My Bella.
No. She wasn't mine like that. She couldn't ever be or her future would change. Alice saw it.
"What are you doing home so early?" Alice asked. "The movie isn't over for another 17 minutes."
I ignored her question as I bounded to my bedroom. Half an hour later I heard the poorly tuned engine come up the driveway. I listened to it idle a few minute. What was taking her so long? When I couldn't take it anymore I stole a look out of the curtains. She had just cracked the door and was stepping out.
Good. Now he could go home. Then she stopped and turned back to him. "No. no no no. Step out of the car Bella." I pleaded with her. She leaned over the console. Maybe she left something?
Their lips met the same instant my heart cracked. It was soft at first and then he pushed a bit further. She didn't stop him. It was only a few moment. It felt a lot longer. I thought briefly of how happy I had been with her in my arms on her birthday and the stark contrast to the pain I felt now.
"Sweet Dreams." He called after her as I sunk down my wall below the window.
"Sweet Dreams." I whispered as I curled up into a ball on my floor. Only my waking nightmares kept me company.
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Edward is so Emo sometimes. Good thing I wouldn't have in any other way. Sorry if it was too long. Please Review. I might start doing this updating thing more often. And a big thank you to everyone who took my bribe and push me over the hundred, YOU ROCK! -Tish