Sorry for the jumping POV. This is two chapters merged into one.
"I'm so sorry Cedes. I just had to say something. It was burning me up inside and I had to know how you felt. Please say something…"
It took all her strength the pull away from the embrace and try to regain, not only her breath, but the power of speech. "-I don't know how to kis-" She cringed at the lameness of her first words. Girl you have no game! Such an important moment and she was let down yet again by the breakdown in communication between what was going on in her brain and what was coming out of her mouth.
But Sam was looking directly into her eyes and seemed to see in them, the answer that he'd been looking for. He bent his head to kiss her again. A little less gentle and questioning this time and she involuntarily responded before backing away.
"What's wrong?" A frown crossed his brow.
"I've been crying like a baby. I must look a mess!"
He took her face in his hands again and kissed each eyelid. "There is nothing messy about the way you look. It'll always be perfection to me."
This time she reached up to kiss him, finally deciding to accept the compliment and enjoy the moment for what it was as they both became lost in the moment.
"How long?" They had finally settled and Sam was leaning back against the tree, her head against his chest while his arm was strewn lazily across her shoulders. The snow cones were melted and forgotten in the summer heat. She was glad to be staring out across the park rather than facing the intensity of his eyes while she asked the question.
"I don't know." She felt him shrug as he replied. "You sort of snuck up on me. I remember having the most amazing time with you at prom but figured I was just on the rebound from Quinn. There was a lot going on that night and I think it affected me more than I thought I was. I was still pretty raw at that stage. But you made me feel so relaxed and good about myself. I know we hadn't hung out before that night but afterwards I knew that it was good for me to spend time with you. And every time we did I felt it more."
He shifted and turned her to face him, "Being with you is like coming home Cedes. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."
Mercedes swallowed as she was engulfed by a wave of emotion. The fidgeted a little to try and calm down the intensity of her feelings. Sam was feeling the same kind of way and he blushed as they brushed the grass off their clothes and started to make their way back.
"You know that was one hell of a speech Sam! I think I need you to repeat it coz I swear I was so nervous I didn't hear all of it!"
He grabbed her hand, brought it to his lips and grinned. "I'm sorry I didn't think to make a recording at the time. Besides, I was rambling as usual. I can't even remember half of what I said. All I know is that I meant every single word."
As they walked back to the hotel hand in hand, Sam told her about his conversation with his siblings. She laughed out loud. "Those kids are wise beyond their years!" He told her how it had made him feel and how it had led to a sleepless night. "I think they saw what we were trying hard not to see!"
"I saw it too but it scared me." Her voice was quiet.
As the hotel came into view they unspokenly let go of each other.
"Can we… you know… not tell anybody about this until we've talked it through properly? Can it just be our thing for now." Mercedes sounded nervous as she felt.
"Sure. Nationals is tomorrow and the last thing we need is more drama." She heaved a sigh of relief. She was barely processing this herself and had no idea how the rest of the club would take it. Especially Quinn.
"Oh damn!" Sam's curse interrupted her thoughts. "We need to go into that store over there. I told the guys I was going out to get something for the kids. It'll look seriously off if I show up empty handed!"
Shopping together was fun and gave them a few more moments together. Sam used the remainder of his cash to get a couple of pens and some themed candy for the kids while Mercedes picked up some items for her family.
The elevator was empty and Sam used the opportunity to steal one last kiss. "We'd better say goodnight now because knowing our luck, there'll be out in the hallway when we get there."
He was right. Puck and Lauren were doing their best to get caught making out outside the girl's room. He shoved his thumbs into his pockets, did that lopsided grin that melted her so much, bit his bottom lip and mumbled a goodbye as she walked through the door of the girls' room, hoping that Puck would be too distracted to start questioning where they'd been just the two of them together.
Those in the girl's room who hadn't snuck out were watching High School Musical. Mercedes climbed onto the bed next to Kurt and snuggled up to him. He turned to her with a raised eyebrow. "So what were those kids talking about for two and a half hours?"
Mercedes was confused for a moment before remembering that they'd told Kurt they were going to call Stevie and Stacy. It felt like a lifetime ago. "Oh, there was no answer at the motel. So we decided to see a bit of New York seeing as we were already out."
The eyebrow arched higher.
Mercedes shot him one of her glares. "Oh hell NO Kurt! You and Rachel sneak out for breakfast at Tiffanys but when your girl does it there's an issue?" Kurt thought it through and dropped the argument. He wasn't going to win it this time. She distracted him by showing the souvenirs she'd bought and within moments he was back to pretending that he wasn't singing along to the movie he swore he hated.
She snuggled in closer and smiled stupidly to herself.
Down the hall, Sam felt like he'd won a million dollars as he collapsed back on his bed. The only feeling that could match it would be to literally have a million dollars to get his family out of that damn motel room forever.
He'd found himself alone in the room. Finn was out wooing Rachel, Puck was propping up the hallway wall with Lauren and Mike had taken Artie for an impromptu boogie in Central Park. Yet again, where Mr Schue had disappeared to was anyone's guess.
He liked the alone time. He got very little of it in the motel and was glad just to reflect on the way the afternoon had gone. He could have hugged Puck for bringing up the 'Jewish elephant in the middle of the room' and starting the conversation about Finn and Rachel which had ultimately set him on his own road to love.
He was wrong and Puck was right. New York was the city of love, not Paris. At least for him anyway.
The other reason he was glad to be alone is that he didn't feel he could handle the questions of why he'd been gone for so long. Not without breaking into song like a character in some corny musical. Or at the very least a massive cheesy smile. He loved that the afternoon had been theirs and theirs alone, away from the prying eyes of others. There was too much relationship drama in Glee club and he had too many pressing issues in his own life. He knew his parents liked Mercedes as his friend because she'd been so helpful but he genuinely had no idea how they'd handle the idea of them actually being a couple. Especially his dad. And he definitely wasn't yet ready to go about finding out.
He pushed the serious thoughts to the back of his head and instead chose to dwell on the moment he'd first kissed her lips. All the times he'd imagined it, he had never pictured her crying. It was more beautiful than he had ever imagined. Her lips were softer and sweeter in reality than in his dreams. He'd dared to hope that she may have felt the same way but to see it so clearly in her eyes had taken his breath away.
He cursed each time that he had spoken about Quinn in her presence. He knew it was over but clearly Mercedes felt she could never follow someone like her. It was now is job to prove to her by words and actions that she's more to him that Quinn ever could be. Never had he regretted the whole promise ring incident so much as he did now. To lay himself on the line like that for someone was stupid and childish. Quinn's hesitant response at the time should have told him that but he'd blindly gone on with what he thought he wanted. To see the hurt on Mercedes face when she'd wrongly assumed that he was still thinking of Quinn had been more than enough to assure him that he was doing the right thing in telling her.
He thought about the moment he'd caught her eye at the airport when Quinn had pulled him aside. He hadn't been able to make out the expression in them and he could now only begin to imagine what must have been going through her head. It hadn't even occurred to him what it must have been doing to her seeing them talking so intently like that. He groaned inside when he thought about how he had arrived late to the final Glee club with Quinn. Mercedes would have had no way of knowing it was because he'd been trying to calm Quinn down and get her to come to Glee, rather than go straight home after seeing her argue with Santana. She'd been so angry he didn't doubt that she would have quit the club simply so that she wouldn't have to be in the same room as Santana again. Plus it could have potentially disqualifying them from Nationals for non-attendance. Everyone would have freaked out if she had pulled a vanishing act just before everything they'd worked towards. But without knowing that, it was no wonder Mercedes had shot off so quickly before he had the opportunity to speak to her.
But then the doubts came back. He was just a dumb jock with no money and no future. How could he show her the good time she deserved? He knew that she didn't expect him to do expensive things for her but he still wanted to show her a good time. He was her first boyfriend and the first of everything should always be special.
It was actually a relief that she hadn't wanted to tell people straight away. It had been hard enough convincing her of his feelings and he knew it would be even more difficult facing others. But at least they would now be facing them together.
He started to think about what they could do for their first date when a thought occurred to him. Had he actually asked her out? Like officially?
He'd told her he liked her. Hell he'd given that whole spiel thanks to that mouth of his which always ran away with itself. But he didn't think he'd actually properly asked her out. Not the way the gentleman in him would have done it. That was something that needed correcting. If he was going to do this he was going to do it right.
Hours later, Mercedes was the only one awake in the girl's room and had been for some time. Nerves and excitement for Nationals had made the others drop off one by one but she was still buzzing from her afternoon with Sam. She wished he had a phone so that she could call or text him.
She wondered what he was doing at this very moment. Was he fast asleep? Or was he lying awake thinking of her just like she was thinking of him. So much had gone down today and her brain had a lot of new information to process. Sam Evans had kissed her. Sam Evans thought she was beautiful. Sam Evans had held her hand. Sam Evans… Never in a million years would she have expected a guy like him to have feelings for her. Yes she talked the talk about liking herself but she was still short and round and not in the same league as any of the other girls in school that he could have had.
But the words he had said were amazing. And she wanted to believe them with all her heart. He didn't have to say any of it. He could have just said that he liked her. But he was so specific. And when he'd told her about what Stevie and Stacy had said she'd had to laugh. There was no disguising the bluntness of those kids. They had very clear opinions and views on the way they saw the world and were not afraid to share them.
The room was so quiet she was convinced the sound of her beating heart would be clearly audible to anyone else awake in the room. Just the thought of him made her pulse race. She remembered sitting next to him on the bed when they were trying to come up with a song for nationals. All she had was a stomach ache coz it was flipping so much. She'd been so close she could see the fine hairs on his arms and for some reason they'd been driving her crazy. She had never been so physically attracted to a guy before. Yes he was good looking (oh those abs) but he was also a decent guy. He loved his family and worked hard for them. The situation they were in was heartbreaking but he'd never asked for sympathy. Nobody would even have found out if it hadn't been for the rumors. He stuck up for those he cared about, even getting a black eye taking on Karofsky. Ok so maybe he'd kissed most of the girls in Glee club how could she have forgotten him and Brittany at Rachel's party after a couple of drinks but somehow she knew none of that was serious. Hell, Glee club was already a pretty incestuous bunch. The only one he had been serious about was Quinn and it was clear that he was broken afterwards. That had to be the only reason he'd allowed Santana to be over him like a rash after that.
And I bet Santana never got the kind of speech I did today! And how could she not tell that calling him Trouty Mouth hurt him so much?
Sam Evans thinks I'm beautiful. Nobody outside of her family and Kurt had ever told her that and although she didn't quite believe it, hearing him say it so sincerely meant the world to her. Her perception of her body image was never necessarily going to be a match for the rest of the worlds.
The initial glow of feeling loved started to give way to reality. They would have to tell people. But hopefully not just yet. Why couldn't they just keep this to themselves for a while? Away from the gossiping prying eyes of the Glee club. Away from the eyes of the ignorant people in a small town who were sure to have an opinion on whether interracial couples were a good idea. Let alone a relationship between the textbook handsome jock and the fat black singer who should have been content to just stay in her lane. Yes, a little world just of their own is exactly what they needed.
For just a little while longer at least.
She thought about her parents. She couldn't see why they wouldn't accept Sam. They were the most open and honest individuals. When she had confided her crush on Kurt to her mom, there'd been no issue about his race. And her brother Jamal had dated a Latina girl for nearly the whole of his senior year. But keeping this from them would be hard. She knew she would not be able to do it for long. She loved and respected her parents and knew that for any relationship she was in to work, they needed to be on side.
She sighed and turned over trying to get comfortable. She regretted being too lazy to wrap her hair and strands were coming from her ponytail. It was going to be a nightmare to comb out in the morning.
She looked at her watch and squinted into the darkness until her eyes adjusted to the dark and revealed the faint outline of the time.
Not tomorrow. TODAY! Nationals are in a matter of hours!
She shut her eyes and willed herself to sleep, dreaming of the park and the feel of Sam's kiss…
Special thanks to my anon review Emma as I can't PM you. This is just the first part of my Samcedes story so I hope you stick with it because the trilogy is already complete with Samcedes as endgame but it does follow cannon for as long as I kept up with the show (early season 3). After that it's just my own fiction!