Chapter 8

Briana had been cleaning and inventorying her supplies, making note of things she needed to pick up on her next trip to the beauty supply house. Out of the corner of her eye, she'd seen Brian fiddling around in his bag digging for something, and had gone over to inspect his hair.

He looked up, perplexed. "What?"

"I think you're due for a trim," she announced, taking a closer look at a blond strand.

"Oh come on. Didn't we just go through this shit not long ago? You keep this up, I may as well have my head shaved."

"Brian, you have more splits here than a Vegas divorce court. No amount of conditioner in the world cures split ends; you know that. The only option is to trim them off."

"Now?" he asked with a whine.

"Well, not now; my good scissors are being sharpened at the supply house. I have to go pick them up and get a few other things while I'm there. Don't worry; you only need half an inch off."

"Thank you Jesus," he sighed, eyes to the ceiling.

"What is with you?" she asked with a laugh. "Not long ago, you were complaining that it was getting too long and too hot, and that was why you were having it pulled back. Now you're whining like a three year old for needing half an inch trimmed."

Brian gave a shit eating grin. "Because we all know the truth here, sweetheart. You just like playing with that stuff."

"My, my, aren't we full of ourselves today," she teased, then noticed something else. "Are you still using that dollar store shampoo?"

"Yeah, why?"

"It's drying your scalp," Briana replied.

"Anything else about my head you'd like to critique today, my dear?" he asked. "I shower twice a day; of course I'm going to be a bit dry."

"Using cheap shampoo isn't helping your case," she shook her head. "Honestly, Brian, will it kill you for once to invest in some good shampoo. You really will see and feel a difference."

"I'm not spending twenty dollars for some shit just to run down the drain. That's like chicks spending ten bucks for tampons just to flush them down the toilet."

"Actually, there are some good brands of shampoo for under six dollars," Briana pointed out. "We can pick one at the supply house when I go get my things."

"Wait, you want to drag me to a supply house to buy me shampoo? Jesus."

"Try it; you may like it. Besides, it isn't like you're doing anything until tonight anyway."

Brian sighed. "All right. I guess I've done a lot worse. At least we're not going to pick out bras for you."

"No," she joked. "That may come later."

Later at the beauty supply house:

While Briana had gone to the back to pick up her newly sharpened scissors, Brian stood around looking at the various items on shelves, wondering who the hell used some of this stuff.

When she had come back to the front, they had gone down the shampoo aisle, going over various brands. Briana handed him a bottle at one point, saying she had used that brand when she had worked for Tina.

Brian took off the cap and sniffed the contents, making a face. "Are you kidding me? This smells like ass."

She shook her head, putting the bottle on the shelf. "You are so impossible sometimes. Here's a good one too. It's even on sale."

"Does it stink too?"

"You may smell it if you like." Briana rolled her eyes.

"Ahh," he said dreamily. "Much better. Strawberries and cream. The girls will dig this. Let's take it."

"Glad you finally approve. Now let's get the rest of my stuff."

While Briana finished with the items on her list, Brian then felt the tell-tale rumbling of a real winner in the brewery. By the time she had gone into the perm section, his oncoming fart had moved to the starting gate and was ready to run. He looked around and there was nobody else around, so Brian ducked to a corner and sneaked it out silently.

He waited a moment for it to get out of his pants before going back to where Briana had been.

After a few moments a female employee walked directly to the section to stock some items, and as she was reaching toward the shelf where Brian had been, she froze in place dropped the item she had held and started gagging and sprinting toward the rest room.

Brian tried to keep a straight face and continued lagging behind Briana as nonchalantly as he could, but end ended up laughing so hard that tears were coming out of his eyes when another customer had come down the aisle and commented on how bad the perms had smelled.

Briana had given him a strange look and he had gotten himself under control by the time they had gotten to the checkout counter. As the cashier checked out Briana's purchases, the accosted female employee and the customer who made the perm remark earlier had also come to the checkout counter, and at that point Brian started laughing uncontrollably all over again.

Both the two women and Briana made him on the spot and he started laughing even harder and tried to apologize but was laughing too hard to do so.

Briana shook her head in annoyance and practically dragged him outside once she had paid for her items, Brian still laughing.

"I can't believe you did that," Briana admonished him once they were outside.

"Better out than in," Brian grinned.

"Couldn't that have waited until we came outside?"

"Um….not quite, which is why I moved from you to begin with."

"Some of the guys are right about one thing; one can dress you up, but can't take you out. And to think you were complaining about shampoo 'smelling like ass.' My God, Brian."

"Be thankful it was me and not Paul," he replied, only to have her glare at him. "Okay, okay, I'll be a good boy and try to control my bodily functions in public from now on."

"All right," Briana nodded. "Now, let's get back so I can get that trim done and we can try out your new shampoo before the show tonight. But to be on the safe side, I'm stopping at the drug store for some Gas X strips for you first."

One thing about it, Brian thought, at least she had a sense of humor.