A/N: This chapter takes place after The DMV. The title isn't from anything, far as I know.

Terms of Endangerment

"Lola, I think we need to establish some ground rules." Bugs was standing in his robe in the backyard, one hand holding a growling Taz back by the scruff of his neck and the other hand training a flashlight on the girl bunny clinging to his windowsill. The ladder she was using to reach the second story had toppled over into the planter, probably due to Taz's involvement, and if the crash hadn't woken him at this unholy hour the animal's angry howling certainly would've. He hoped the racket hadn't disturbed the neighbors.

Lola braced her feet against the wall. The windowsill she was clinging to was just wide enough to lean her arms on but wouldn't support her for long. She glanced down at Bugs over her shoulder and shouted, "Okay, but I think I should be on the ground for that."

"Just hang on, I'll put Poochie inside till he calms down," Bugs said, dragging the Tasmanian Devil towards the garage.

"It's okay, I got the window open," Lola called back. Sure enough, she had somehow jimmied the window open noiselessly and hoisted herself inside. She leaned out the window and waved energetically.

"That's comforting," Bugs deadpanned.

He led Taz back to his doghouse, petting and scratching him behind the ears until he stopped growling in the general direction of the window Lola disappeared through. Bugs wasn't sure how his pet had known Lola was trying to sneak in. Daffy had hinted that she'd snuck into the house before, but it could be difficult to tell when the duck was exaggerating or not.

Taz lay obediently inside his doghouse, leaning appreciatively into his master's petting.

"Good boy, chasing down intruders," Bugs said, "Though that one wasn't really an intruder. Well, technically she was…" Bugs sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ugh, I don't know what she is. It's too early for this." He patted the animal's head, satisfied that he wouldn't rip up half the yard chasing after Lola again. "Go to sleep, Poochie. I have a feeling it's gonna be a long night," he grumbled to himself.

The days following that fateful date night where he had somehow acquired Lola as a girlfriend had been nothing short of exhausting. He'd hoped her haphazard pursuit of him would quiet down now that they were actually together but Lola had progressed from calling him obsessively, following him around town, that disconcerting week where her car was parked across the street, nearly running him over once, to breaking into his house in the middle of the night. Girlfriend or not, this sort of thing had to end.

He double checked the lock on the sliding glass door before rounding the house and letting himself in through the front. Lola was nowhere to be found downstairs so Bugs stumbled up to his bedroom, flipping on lights as he went. "Lola," he called, "are you still up here?"

Daffy's bedroom door flew open. "Would you pipe down! Some of us need our beauty sleep," he blinked, trying to get bleary eyes into focus. "You're not sleepwalking, are you?" he asked Bugs.

"No, Lola stopped by," Bugs explained. "And how is it you heard me but not the huge racket outside a few minutes ago?"

Daffy shrugged, "I have selective hearing."

Bugs rolled his eyes, "No kidding." He reached for the door handle to his bedroom.

"Try to keep the nighttime shenanigans to a minimum. These cheap walls are thin," Daffy said before abruptly slamming his door shut. Bugs stared blankly at the closed door before deciding some things just weren't worth contemplating at 3 o'clock in the morning.

He found Lola inside, sitting cross-legged on the floor with an old photo album opened on her lap. She lit up when she saw him. "Hey Bun-bun, is this you?" she pointed at a picture near the back, "I had no idea you were president of Mexico!"

"Interim," Bugs replied, taking the album from her. "I had no idea you had a ladder set up outside my house."

"Eh, heh," Lola giggled sheepishly, "That's a funny story. Well, not funny as in 'Oh my gosh, a squirrel riding a waterski' funny but in retrospect…"

"Lola," Bugs cut her off, "what are you doing here? It's 3am."

"I couldn't sleep. I called and you didn't answer, so I decided to come over, but I knocked and you didn't answer the door so I decided to try knocking on your window. Only I forgot about your dog, he usually likes those bacon strips I get at the supermarket. Anyway, I wanted to ask if you had any plans for February because my cousin's wedding is gonna be on Valentine's Day and I'm probably gonna be in it, and since they live in Florida we'll have to travel and the wedding will cut into our Valentine's Day so we could probably do something earlier…"

"Lola, Lola," he covered her mouth with one hand. She stopped her rambling and looked up at him with a curious expression. "We need to talk. And I need coffee. C'mon, we'll continue this downstairs."

"Oh, okay," she said, suddenly sounding very small. She followed him down the stairs at a discreet distance and refrained from launching into another boisterous rant while he made himself a pot of coffee. He watched her twiddle her thumbs and glance nervously around the kitchen like a lost puppy. She was surprisingly alert for the middle of the night. Bugs briefly wondered if Lola even slept at all.

She waited until he'd taken his first swig of caffeine before asking, "Are you mad?"

Bugs set the mug down and looked at her. He should be mad. He had every right to be mad. That was the more rational response to finding someone breaking into your room, even if that person was supposed to be your girlfriend. Especially if that person was supposed to be your girlfriend. But the way she had asked 'Are you mad?' as if she genuinely couldn't tell, she genuinely didn't understand if she had done something wrong, made whatever lingering annoyance he'd had with her evaporate into thin air.

"I'm not mad," he replied.

"Oh god, we're breaking up aren't we?" she blurted out, continuing with a rapid anxiety that increased with each sentence. "Is it because of the ladder? Cuz I can get rid of the ladder, no problem. Here, I'll get rid of it right now!" She pushed her chair back in a noisy scrape and would've taken off right then if Bugs hadn't caught her by the wrist.

"Lola, calm down. I'm not mad. We're not breaking up. Could you sit down and let me finish?"

She sat down stiffly, folding her hands against the table, the picture of patience.

"Alright, like I said, we're not breaking up, but I think we need to establish some ground rules."

"Ground rules? Like in soccer?"

"No, I mean relationship ground rules. Like no more breaking into my house in the middle of the night."

"What if my house is on fire…"

"I'd hope you'd call the fire department."

"What if I'm robbed?"

"Call the police."

"What about if aliens attack?"

"Call… I dunno, the army? Look, its okay if you need to come here because of an emergency, but generally I like to be asleep at 3am. If it can wait until morning, then wait and call me… let's say after 10am. Okay?"

"Can I leave the ladder here?"

"No."

"I thought not," Lola leaned back in her seat, "Anything else?"

Bugs inflated a little. She seemed to be taking this idea rather well, though time would only tell if any of it would stick. He had spent so much time listening to her dominate conversation after conversation it was nice to be leading one for a change.

"Don't leave me twenty-five messages every hour. Leave me one voicemail; wait for me to call you back. If I haven't called you back in awhile then you can call me again. Same with email."

"How long is awhile? An hour?"

"A little bit longer… like a day."

"A day?" she said in an exaggerated gasp. "How do I know if you haven't answered 'cause you've been murdered in your sleep with an electric razor and a squirt gun and you need me to find your killer and avenge your death?"

Bugs cocked an eyebrow.

"I was watching CSI," she explained in a quiet voice.

"Alright, if a day is too long, wait at least a few hours. Give me enough time to actually get the message and call you back. Okay?"

"A few hours… like two?"

"Bit more."

"Three?"

"I think we can do better than that-"

"Five. Ten." She leaned halfway out of her seat, like any second she was gonna hit the right number on a roulette table and win the pot. "Twenty?"

"I dunno," Bugs said, noncommittally swirling the last of his coffee.

"Twenty-five."

"Nah, that's a little much, don't you think?"

"Twenty-four, and that's my final offer."

"Ehh," he leaned back in his chair, pretending to mull it over. "Okay, Lola, twenty-four hours it is."

"Yes," Lola pumped a fist in the air. "Okay. Do I get to make some rules?"

Bugs blinked, surprised. "Um, yeah, I guess it'd only be fair. What sorta thing did you have in mind?"

Her brow furrowed, "I'll have to think of one, give me a minute." She bit down the nail of her thumb, looking lost in thought for a few moments. "Can it be a rule that you have to kiss me whenever you see me?"

"No."

"Aww, why not? All your rules are about stuff we can't do. We need rules for things we can do… Oh! We can wear matching clothes when we go out…"

"Nope."

Lola crossed her arms and adjusted her voice to an uncharacteristically serious tone. "Bun-bun, if this relationship is going to work, I can't be the only one making compromises here."

Bugs gave a labored sigh. "Okay, how 'bout Halloween? We can wear matching costumes."

"Hey, that's a good idea!" Lola brightened. "We could be Romeo and Juliet, or Batman and Catwoman, or Cleopatra and… that one guy. We can figure that out later. Now, let's see, what else," she scratched at her hair, back into thinking mode. "Can it be a rule that we get married at a park instead of the Country Club like last time-ooh, or we could go back to Paris!"

Bugs winced. He'd hoped she wouldn't bring up marriage so soon, especially after what happened the last time. "How 'bout we discuss that when we're actually ready to get married."

"When will that be?" She leaned forward eagerly. He could've sworn she was batting her eyelashes.

"When I ask you," he said plainly. "And don't assume that because I happen to be on one knee, picking something off the ground that I'm proposing."

"Okay, Mr. Ground Rules, when can I assume you're proposing?"

"I'll say, 'Lola, will you marry me'." Bugs said as dryly as possible. "And I'll probably have a ring."

"Seriously, that's how you're gonna do it?" Lola crossed her arms, clearly unimpressed.

"Yes, Lola, that's how I'd do it."

He expected her to protest or launch into some elaborate scenario with a moonlit gondola ride and fireworks and whatever else went into a fantasy marriage proposal. Instead she said, "Aww, Bun-bun…" and melted into her chair.

"I'm not saying it now," he explained, trying not to panic. "It's too early." Another thought crossed his mind. "And while I'm thinking of it, don't call me Bun-bun."

"What are you talking about, you love that name."

"Not really, I don't even know where you got that from."

"It's a pet name. You use pet names on everything," she pointed out.

"Usually I'm being sarcastic…"

"Are you being sarcastic now?"

"No."

"What about now?"

"Lola…"

"Alright, alright, if it bothers you that much, no more 'Bun-bun'."

Bugs's coffee mug froze halfway to his mouth. He set it down. "Really?"

"Sure, Bunnnn….gggs," she said, switching from his pet name to his real name halfway through in an awkward mangling of both. "Sorry, that's gonna take some getting used to, Bugs," she paused, as if she was testing a strange new word she'd hadn't said before a hundred times. "Bugs. Buuuuuuggggsss. Bugs? Buuuugs," she said in a dramatic sigh.

"Okay, that's enough."

"Sorry. Any more ground rules?"

"Try not to run me over with your car. Or my car. Basically, I'd appreciate it if you'd try not to kill me."

She gave a facetious laugh, "I'll do my best. Anything else?"

"That's about all I thought of, unless you had any more?"

She thought for a minute, her smile dropping a little and her eyes turning a little serious. "You're coming with me to my cousin's wedding."

"The one in February? That's five months away…"

"So? The RSVP isn't."

He chose that moment to get up and refill his coffee. Making plans for Halloween was one thing, agreeing to attend a wedding that far in advance was another. He frankly wasn't sure they'd make it one month, let alone five. Maybe that was why she wanted him to promise to do it; maybe she just needed his assurance that this wasn't going to fizzle out in a week. Maybe she finally understood that this wasn't going to work like a whirlwind romance novel where they're married in two days and are never out of each other's eye-shot for more than twelve minutes for the rest of time.

Then again, this was Lola. There really was no telling what she was thinking.

"Alright, how 'bout this, if you still want me to go with you by February, I'll go."

"Really, you promise?"

"I promise."

She jumped up and threw her arms around him in a forceful hug. The coffee sloshed dangerously in his mug and Bugs struggled to keep his balance while holding the dripping cup out far enough to keep from spilling over them. Once he was confident he wasn't going to fall over or douse them both with scalding coffee, he pulled his free arm around her waist to lightly hug her back.

In a moment, Lola's hold suddenly loosened. Her forehead lolled against his shoulder and Bugs was soon keenly aware that he was supporting most of her weight. He swayed unconsciously to accommodate her leaning against him. "Lola?" he poked her shoulder. She responded by letting out a sigh that vibrated in her nose.

Somehow he managed to put his coffee mug down without tipping it over. He carried her into the living room and set her on the couch with the extra pillow and blankets he kept in the closet. At least now he knew she did sleep. She just crashed at a moment's notice.

Bugs debated heading upstairs, going back to bed and trying to sleep the final hours before morning. But he'd already had two cups of coffee and probably wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. He pulled a Mary Higgins Clark novel off the shelf and settled into the recliner. On the couch next to him Lola shifted in her sleep and snored lightly.

5 months later

"Longest. Ceremony. Ever." Lola slumped into her seat, the long skirt on her bridesmaid dress caught around the chair.

"Not having fun, sweetheart?" Bugs slid into the seat next to hers. He was wearing a suit practically identical to the one from their almost-wedding, right down to the color of the tie, which only made her think of cut-short ceremonies and made this one seem all the more long-winded and tedious in comparison.

"I will be once they start passing out that cake," she eyed the large, five-tiered tower of frosting shaped like doves and roses, a large heart sitting proudly at the top.

"Let's hope it doesn't figure out a way to fly off first," Bugs commented.

A brown, portly looking rabbit from the groom's side, Lola couldn't really keep all their names straight, stood and tapped at his glass until the ballroom chatter quieted down. Someone produced a microphone. And thus began the speeches.

Lola had a low threshold for speeches in general, but wedding toasts were the worst. In some ways, she really loved them. They were always really sweet and touching and given by happy people to people who couldn't help but be happy until the room just overfilled with concentrated happiness. But they always went on far too long and were filled with anecdotes and stories she wasn't there for and never quite understood. They also, oddly enough, tended to make her tear up for reasons she couldn't really explain. Happy things shouldn't make you cry. And yet every wedding toast she'd ever sat through left her so teary and touched and bored and confused she ended up hating the whole experience by the end of it.

Her aunt Margaret, the mother of the bride, was halfway through a little story about the engagement party when Lola felt her eyes well up and her vision inevitably blurred.

"You okay?" Bugs asked her quietly.

"Yeah," she tried to hold back a sniffle and failed. "I just-I wish I could fly away on that cake right now."

Bugs gave her a small, bemused smile and his napkin. She blotted her eyes and tried not smear her mascara too badly.

The microphone was passed on to the best man, a short rabbit with a deceptively low voice. "I'm not really any good at speeches," he started out. "Actually, that's not entirely true. Speeches I can do; I'm no good at sentiment. And I know sentiment is kind of expected at a wedding, but I was thinking about this and, y'know, the whole concept of marriage is kind of insane. Like what are the odds that two different people could simultaneously decide, not only that they can stand one another, but that they are going to go out of their way to be together for the rest of their lives? And that they're actually happier because of it. Annie," he turned to the bride, "I know David's my best friend and he's awesome, but five minutes of listening to him talk about fantasy football and I'm ready to kill him." Annie laughed good-naturedly at that. "I don't know how you guys worked that stuff out, maybe one day you'll let us in on your beautiful secrets. But until then," he lifted his glass, "Annie and David, you're both insane. And I congratulate you on your amazing insanity."

The room broke into polite applause. Lola stopped crying long enough to blow her nose.

At long last, the cake was cut into and passed around. The DJ started up the music and the crowd went back to eating and mingling.

"Come to mama," Lola picked out a plate with a generous portion of cake with half of a frosting rose. She could practically taste the sugar already. Bugs tapped her on her shoulder.

"What?"

"I think someone's calling for you." He nodded towards Aunt Margaret, who was standing next to a still wedding dress-clad Annie and indeed seem to be waving Lola over.

"I think she wants to talk to us, c'mon," she led Bugs by the elbow across the ballroom, cake in her opposite hand.

Margaret enveloped her in a hug, followed quickly by Annie. "We're so glad you could come," she said emphatically.

"Are you kidding me? I wouldn't miss this for anything," Lola replied.

"And this must be the new beau," Margaret chimed in with an excited lilt. Lola could tell by his slight wince that Bugs didn't exactly like being called a beau. Or maybe it was the "new" part. They weren't exactly new anymore anyway.

"Bugs, this is my Aunt Margaret and my cousin Annie…"

"Oh, so you're Bugs!" Annie exclaimed.

"The one and only," he replied.

"I was beginning to wonder. From the way Lola talks about you I thought you must be a deity from another dimension or something."

Bugs shrugged in mock modesty. "Well, I usually reserve inter-dimensional travel for Tuesdays and bank holidays. Saves on gas."

Margaret chortled. Lola interlocked her free arm with Bugs's and said, "Told you he was funny," with a heavy dose of pride.

"Seriously, though," Annie said, "the Nobel prize?"

"Yeah, that's true ."

"President of Mexico?"

"Interim," Bugs replied.

"The carrot peeler?"

"Licensed patent."

"Oh, you're a keeper. Seriously, Lo-lo, hang on to this one." Annie winked.

Bugs gestured to the arm Lola was currently holding. "She's gotten awful good that."

"I am good, aren't I?" Lola smiled smugly.

The opening chords to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun started up and she gasped. "I love this song!" She thrust her plate of cake into Annie's hands and took off, absently yanking Bugs along with her since their arms were still hooked. "Nice seeing you, Annie," she called over her shoulder.

"You too, Lo-lo." Annie waved back, holding the cake as far away from her dress as she could.

"Lo-lo?" Bugs asked with an incredulous look once they were out of ear-shot.

"It's just a nickname. She's been calling me that since we were little." She pulled him onto the giant platform, as far in the middle of the crowd of dancers as she could.

"Seriously, though… Lo-lo? Doesn't that get annoying?"

"Annoying?" Lola cocked her head. "No, why would it be annoying? It's like a term of endangerment."

"Endearment?"

"Yeah, that too." She backed straight into another couple, stepping on the hem of her dress and nearly toppling over. Bugs pulled her by the arm just barely out of an outright collision. She grabbed at Bugs's shoulder to steady herself and muttered a quick apology to the other two rabbits.

"No, I think you had it right the first time." Bugs smirked.

"Thanks for the save, Bun-bun," Lola realized what she'd said a second too late, as always, and smacked her palm to her forehead. "Sorry, I keep doing that. It just kind of slips out, honest."

Bugs raised his shoulders in an exaggerated shrug. "It's kind of grown on me."