Sorry for the long time between updates, finals are finally over, so just finishing up a few bits and bobs over here and then I will be officially free for the summer! So now that I have a lot more free time, I thought I'd grace you all with an update. Thank you all for the reviews, as I think I've told you before, they make me very happy, and I'm glad that you take the time out to read and review. I appreciate that:) This is the last little author's note I'm gonna leave you guys, so I wanna thank EVERYBODY for reading my story. Stay tuned for the next chapter, and look out for a new story I'm developing called "The Truth about Love" and of course I plan on completing "Keeping Numb" so keep an eye out. Thank you all:)
Chapter 16
"She's in love with you?"
"That's what she said. I just wasn't expecting that, you know."
"I don't even know what to tell you."
"The funny thing is, this whole time I thought she was in love with Spencer."
"Ashley what are you going to do? I mean do you plan on telling Spencer?"
"No, no I can't. I don't want to put this on her now, I don't want her to be worrying about anything right now, Kyla."
"But what about Anabelle? Do you think that she'd say something to Spencer?"
"I don't know...I hope not. I wouldn't be able to deal with that, I'm just so tired. All I can think about is Spencer, I've called every hospital in the country hoping that there may be someone, anyone that can help her. But nothing, Kyla, fucking nothing. I don't know what to do anymore...I'm lost."
"Ashley, it'll be okay. You've got to be strong for her, don't give up hope, she needs you so much right now. I've been talking to a few people myself, and there's this doctor, he's not a traditional doctor, he practices herbal and spiritual medicine. And I know it sounds a bit wacky, but I explained Spencer's condition to him and he thinks he may be able to help. He's helped heal people who were terminally ill before, and he seems really genuine, I figured, I don't know, maybe...I mean, you don't have to..."
"When can you get him down here?"
"Ashley, I don't want you to get your hopes up..."
"I don't care! Just...please, get him down here. I'll try anything, I just can't lose her. I can't lose her."
"Daddy!"
"Hey, pumpkin." Ashley giggled as her dad scooped her through the air into his arms.
"Daddy, I have a special gift for my angel, I wanted it to be the right one and all the pictures I draw just aren't right." Ashley's face was scrunched up in thought.
"Oh yeah? So what did you decide on for Mia?" He smiled warmly at her.
"I'm gonna give her my heart." Ashley smiled back up at her dad.
"You know what baby, I think that's the best gift that anyone could ever ask for."
Ashley beamed with joy as her dad rubbed his rough beard on her face, she would remember the way his arms held her so tightly later on that night whilst the policemen were downstairs telling her mom that her dad was dead. She would remember and wish that she'd given her heart to him instead.
"Ashley?" There was a tentative knock before Spencer stepped into the room.
"Hey, is everything okay?" Ashley was immediately alert, concerned that something was wrong.
"No, nothing's wrong, just...have you seen Anabelle? I can't find her anywhere."
"Uh, no." Ashley's mind was abuzz. Where did she go?
Ashley noticed that Spencer was lingering next to her bed, so she grabbed her hand and pulled her onto it, both of them falling into a heap on top of the covers.
"Ashley!" Spencer squealed.
"What? You got a problem with beds?" Ashley laughed, and Spencer smacked her arm.
"No, I have a problem with flying through the air before landing on said bed."
"But I like flying through the air with you."
Ashley watched as Spencer smiled cutely. Her fingers slowly tiptoed up Spencer's stomach and up to her ribcage, stopping abruptly when Spencer squirmed.
"Wha...oh my god, are you ticklish?" Ashley grinned evilly, thinking of all the possible ways she could make Spencer squeal.
"No, as much as I know how much you would positively love that , I'm not ticklish." Spencer smiled.
Ashley leaned over her now, concerned to the maximum, she tucked some stray hair behind Spencer's ear.
"I didn't hurt you did I?"
"Ashley, you could never hurt me...sometimes, the simplest touch from you can make me feel things."
Ashley's eyes darkened as she looked at Spencer.
"Feel things like what?"
Spencer's hands moved to cup her face, her fingers gently tracing the contours of Ashley's face, the face she already knew so well just from touch. Ashley's eyes fluttered closed.
"Like how much I want you...how much I need you near me...how much I love you."
Ashley kissed her.
"I love you too."
Ashley pulled Spencer up into a sitting position on the bed.
"Wait here a minute, I'll be right back."
"Okay."
Ashley ran into the living room and grabbed her guitar. Entering the room, she was suddenly nervous. It was one thing to play a song you've written to a bunch of strangers, but a completely different thing to play a song for and to the woman you love. She hopped back onto the bed, sitting in front of Spencer and placing the guitar in her lap. Spencer's blue eyes seemed to be staring straight into hers.
"I wrote you a song." Ashley watched Spencer's wide smile.
"You did?" She asked excitedly.
"I did. Do you wanna hear it?"
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Spencer was bouncing on the bed a little bit.
Ashley laughed. "Okay."
Ashley set herself up, even more nervous than she was before she took a deep breath and then looked into Spencer's eyes. And once again, just as it had happened the first time she played in front of Spencer and looked at her face, she instantly felt calm. And began to play.
Desert skin, you look so good in your desert skin.
Desert skin, you look so good in your desert skin.
I love the way that you kiss me
I love the way that you hold me
Desert skin, I want you to want me, regardless of what I lack
Desert skin, I want you to see me for all that I am
Desert skin, I won't let you go there's a way out for you
Shed your cover right down, to the core
And there your true freedom reigns
Desert skin, you look so good in your desert skin
Desert skin, you look so good in your desert skin
Ashley looked up to find silent tears streaming down Spencer's face. "Hey, I didn't mean to make you cry." She was using her thumb to wipe away Spencer's tears as Spencer grabbed onto her face and kissed her abruptly. Spencer seemed to be fueling all of her passion into the kiss, and when she finally pulled away, Ashley was left breathless.
"I love you, Ash...I love you so much."
Ashley could feel the tears burning in her eyes as she pulled Spencer into a hug, whispering in her ear she replied, "I love you too."
Spencer was clinging to Ashley tightly, so hard in fact that Ashley was starting to get worried. Pulling away from her slightly she noticed that Spencer was looking a little pale.
"Are you okay?"
"I don't know...I don't feel too good. Maybe if I just rest for a little bit."
"Here, lie down. I'm gonna go call the doctor." Ashley was clearly panicked.
"Ashley, don't leave me."
"I'll be right back, I promise, I'm not leaving you."
Ashley rushed to the telephone in the next room, never feeling more grateful that Paula had put an on-call doctor up in the other guest house. Her hands shook as she talked to the doctor and then to Paula, half listening to them say that they were on their way and praying to whatever god existed that Spencer would be okay.
Rushing back into the room, she held back a sob when she saw that Spencer looked worse than when she'd left her. She'd only been gone a few minutes, but Spencer was already looking paler and more fragile. Sitting on the bed, Ashley held her hand, telling her that everything was going to be okay.
She didn't even hear Paula and the doctor come in, only realizing when she was asked by the doctor if she could wait by the door while he examined her. Paula and Ashley exchanged anxious glances as they waited for the doctor to finish examining her. As soon as he was done, Ashley rushed back to her bedside, instantly warming when Spencer gave her a weak smile.
The doctor had stepped out of the room to talk to Spencer's mom, and Ashley could hear snippets of their conversation...deteriorating fast...hospital...not much time. She blocked it out and focused on Spencer.
"You're gonna be okay, I know you're gonna be okay."
Spencer just smiled and squeezed her hand.
Ashley looked up when Paula walked into the room.
"Spencer, we have to get you to a hospital now, they need to..."
"No," Spencer interrupted. "I'm not going to a hospital. No, I want to be here, at home...when it happens."
Ashley cringed at those last few words and was about to tell Spencer that nothing was going to happen, when she spoke again.
"Ashley I need you to find Anabelle for me."
"Spencer..."
"Ashley please. I'll be right here, please...find Anabelle for me."
"Okay." She kissed her lightly on her forehead, whispering I love you, before she left.
The first thing she did was call Anabelle's cell phone. There was no answer, so she started asking some of the house workers if they'd seen her. One of them finally told her that they'd seen her heading into town. Hopping quickly into her pickup truck, she sped into town hoping that she'd find Anabelle at the market. After about an hour of fruitless searching, she drove back to the house, anxious to see Spencer and make sure she was alright.
As she pulled into the driveway, he heart stopped when she saw Spencer being carried on a stretcher into the doctor's guesthouse. Sheer panic overtook her as she jumped out of the pickup and started running, hair flying, heart pounding, towards the guesthouse. Bursting through the doors, her eyes searched for Spencer. Finding her on a bed in the corner, surrounded by tubes and an IV, Ashley walked over, taking Spencer's hand in her own and stroking her hair.
"Hey." Spencer said quietly, feeling Ashley's hand in her hair.
Ashley, overwhelmed by the sight of Spencer looking so weak surrounded by so much hospital machinery, starts openly crying. The tears flowing fast, and for the first time, she's unable to stop them, unable to hold back the anguish she feels.
"Don't cry," Spencer says weakly, feeling a tear drop on the hand that Ashley's holding.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's gonna be okay...I just hate seeing you like this."
"Ashley, it's okay. Listen, I...there's not much time left. Tell my mom and Glen that I love them. And tell Anabelle...tell her I'm sorry, that she was the sister I never had. Tell her that I want her to be happy, no regrets."
"Spencer, stop it! They're all going to be here in a minute...and you're not going anywhere."
"Ashley, no. I have to go..."
"Spencer please don't leave me, god, just please don't leave me." Ashley sobbed.
"Ashley, you have to let me go. It's okay baby, let me go." Spencer stroked her face gently.
"No! No! Stay with me, you're strong, we can fight it together."
"Ashley, it's time. I need you to be strong for me, when I'm gone..."
"You're not going anywhere, you're with me, you're safe. I can't let you go."
"Ashley, please listen to me. I want you to know...I love you. From the very first moment I met you, I knew I loved you." Ashley sobbed harder. "There's no place I'd rather be than her with you. I'll never leave you, I'll always be right here." Ashley's heart wrenched as she felt Spencer place her hand on her heart. "I want you to know that wherever I go, whatever happens, I'll never stop loving you. You're my first, my last, my everything. And I love you."
Ashley sat with her, watching her take her last breath. She held onto her tightly, sobbing into her warm chest, not noticing the sobs of those that had just joined her through her own tears. Spencer was gone. Surrounded by the people she loved most in this world, her soul soared, finally letting go.
Let's hold hands like the young romance
Let's first kiss like the moment we first did
We can lose control, baby don't say no, heaven only knows