Chapter 12

Miley.

I cut the pale pink ribbon diagonally, my fingers folding it around the box while my eyes were sealed closed. It was four thirty and at the moment I was in a state between sleep and consciousness, my fingers moving out of routine while the rest of me was trying to overcome the lack of exhaustion. I sighed opening my heavy eyelids gazing at the flowers before me,

"Three down, ninety seven to go." I whispered in a monotone.

It wasn't that I couldn't normally get up this early, because I did, I had. But lately sleep had become so hard it was like a chore I continually tried to put it off until I had no choice but to face it. If it wasn't the nightmares that got me, it was the coldness that remained next to my body in bed. I felt so empty, alone and scared all the time now and being here wasn't helping my dangerously mixed emotions. My sister's had bailed, why? I didn't know, I didn't care at the time but now I did. Sitting here under the fluorescent lights really made me realize how much I hated my life at the moment, how I just wanted someone to make me smile and laugh, to distract me from the demons which had taken over.

I really just needed someone to keep me company.

I picked up the white rose staring at it tracing the soft petals, remembering the roses in France with Nick. How I wished to be back there, when were were happy and I didn't feel sick every time he texted me. How I missed his hands holding my hips, his kisses on my forehead and they way he made me feel like I was loved. He didn't deserved to be burdened with me like this though, an emotional disaster.

I dropped my head onto the counter closing my eyes exhausted wishing to be back to what it used to be like instead of living in memories.

Fingers brushed the hair out of my face as I heard a sigh,

"Go grab the blankets in the cupboard over there..."

"You sure we should move her, she might wake up."

I heard a small laugh, "No she's really out at the moment."

"How can you even tell?"

"I slept next to her for almost a year, I can tell just from the crease in her forehead that she isn't waking up anytime soon."

An arm wrapped around me as I felt my body move, a second later my head was against something far softer. I yawned moving my hand to my chest curling it up against the material while I maneuvered my head snuggling it against a familiar shape,

"Okay down we go Miley,"

The hardness was back but a blanket was tucked around my body as I readjusted myself,

"She looks-"

"Sick."

I felt lips press against my forehead gently moving away, "Not sick, emotionally drained I think would be a better way to describe it."

"She hasn't cried since-"

"No, not in front of anyone anyway."

"We better get started Nick."

I heard a snort, "This is going to be interesting without her assistance,"

"I doubt she would have been willing to help us regardless of her state, she's going to be pissed at us."

"Well we'll deal with that when she wakes up. Let's try do these flower things."

"Bouquets," He whispered kissing my head, "They're called bouquets Kevin."

"Right let's get started, the quicker we finish the sooner I can start work."

Fingers gently stroked my arm as I heard a sigh, "Get some sleep beautiful, I'll be here when you wake up."

Coffee...

Mhmmm Coffee...

Wait?

Could I smell coffee? I licked my lips stretching my arms out yawning, why was I so stiff? I readjusted attempting to cuddle into my bed only to feel hardness surrounding me. What the hell? I sat up blinking a few times trying to recognize where exactly I- Holy shit! Those helpers were coming! I bolted off the ground everything coming together as I rushed to the door my eyes still however behind me, gazing at the blankets on the floor and a coffee cup that was in front of my head, a single singapore orchid flower next to it.

Nick?

My eyes finally caught up with my movements as I stepped into the door frame of the other room.

I blinked a few times, my mouth slightly open as I tried to decipher what kind of strange fucked up nightmare this was. Why was Joe wearing my apron and holding a bunch of roses upside down? Why was Kevin tying ribbons around boxes with a look of serious concentration on his face? Why were they both here? Why...

"You're up." A voice murmured quietly behind me.

I spun looking to see Nick there his face completely blank. I just stared not knowing what to say because the last thing I was thinking about before I feel asleep was him and now he was suddenly here? Something felt wrong, really wrong and I felt completely out of the loop.

"Miley you okay?"

I put my hand on my head for a second trying to some how make this understandable but it didn't, at all.

"No." I announced angrily, "No I'm not."

I was surprised by the condemnation in my voice as I looked at Nick, "Okay, how about we go talk-"

"What the hell are you doing here?" I spat anger suddenly taking control as my index finger automatically raised towards his face, "What the hell Nick! I told you I didn't want to see you again, I told you to stay away from me, I told you that I didn't want you in my life!"

"Yeah well our judge told us that this was our punishment."

I pivoted glaring at Kevin who now stood looking at me as I frowned, "What do you mean?" I snapped,

"Miley how about you sit down and we'll talk-"

"NO!" I yelled at Nick turning again, "No, what the fuck is going on?"

"Miley just-"

"NO! Just tell me what's going, what the hell are you doing here?"

He looked at me for a moment and shrugged, "The judge gave us community service," He murmured, "We picked the cancer charity and they assigned us to come and help here...and before you ask no it wasn't intentional, we didn't make this choice knowing it would be you okay? I know you don't want to see me," He hesitated for a moment looking frustrated, "You've made that very clear already. But you're stuck with us,"

I just stared at him speechless...

Community service? Cancer Charity? Help here? Stuck with them?

"Miley?"

The feeling of a hand touching my arm was the catalyst as I jumped away furious,

"Don't touch me!" I yelled at Joe,

He instantly held his hands up stepping back as I moving my hand through my hair, they couldn't see me like this! I felt embarrassment wash over me as I recognized how I must look to them, so weak and frustrating. I needed to get away to stop them feeling guilty, to make sure Nick didn't feel the frustration he currently possessed. I didn't want to burden him anymore. So instead of saying something stupid I turned and stepped around Joe and walked into the office slamming the door, throwing my weight against it.

"Seriously Miley?" I heard Kevin snap, "What you're doing is childish-"

"Stop Kev, both of you go back to the flowers."

"Nick-"

"Just let me talk to her."

I heard a sigh and footsteps as I felt my lip quivering, why was this so hard?

"You remembered what happened with Liam didn't you?" He asked blankly to the door.

I bit down on my lip closing my eyes as he sighed, "Your sisters guessed as much, said you were acting strange like someone had flipped a switch." He murmured quietly as I slid down the door sitting on the floor, "What's going on with you Miley? You know we can't tell right? You're too hard to read right now, I know your hurting I just don't know who's the cause, is it me, or is it Liam?"

I opened my mouth wanting to respond but I didn't know how to, because if I told Nick it wasn't him, what would happen? Would anything change?

"If it's me then I'll go to the court right now and tell them I quit community service."

My eyes opened filled with tears, "No," I chocked out, "You'll go to jail,"

"If this is too hard for you I'd rather go there than make you suffer anymore than-"

"It's not you,"

"Miley you don't have to lie."

"It's not you." I repeated. "I forgave you didn't I?"

I closed my eyes knowing that I'd just thrown back the ball I'd been holding for so long, now Nick had it and I was scared of what he'd do.

"Miley?"

I felt a tear slip as I quickly wiped it, "Can I come in?"

I thought about it for a moment and came to the conclusion, "No."

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"Because why? Is this about Liam, are you scared me because of what happened to you? Miley I would never do that to you, I just want to help you-"

"I don't want you to see me like this!" I spat chocking on a sob which came out loudly,

I heard him sigh, "Like what Miley?"

The doorknob twisted as he pushed the door causing it to press against my back, did I really want to let him in? To see how I truly felt? To show how much he'd killed me, how Liam had then made everything worse? How could I trust anyone, how could I still be in love with him after all of this? I was a fool an embarrassment.

Yet I gave in and moved from the door letting him in, even though I was terrified of what he'd say and think of me now.

Nick.

When the pressure on the door shifted I was relieved, that was until I saw her face and realized this was more complicated than I expected.

This wasn't about me anymore...

This wasn't about Liam either...

This was about Miley, and the fact that she was blaming herself for what had happened.

I sat down as she looked straight ahead refusing to even glance at me. I'd thought it had been Liam honestly, I knew it wasn't me and I'm sure somewhere in her she knew she wasn't mad at me anymore. Just like me she was frustrated with this whole situation, Miley didn't know how to cope right now and I didn't know how to respond with this new realization. So I did the one thing that used to work when ever she doubted herself,

"Come here,"

Her head turned and she just stared at me as I opened my arms.

"Nick..." She shook her head tears falling, "I don't think I can do this, any of this."

"Then don't, but then you'll have nothing anymore, think about that."

She stared at me for a moment as I shrugged, "You either come here right now or I'll walk away."

"How can you still be here?" She whispered.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Her lip shook violently, "Because I'm a terrible person."

"Oh really?" I stated lightly, "A terrible person whose helping charity? Who made some mistakes but has realized they were wrong? Who managed to forgive me even though I said most likely said the worst thing I could and ruined our wedding. Yeah Miley you're a really terrible person."

"That's not funny," She murmured, "I've done some terrible-"

"It wasn't meant to be funny, and you've made mistakes so has everyone! So what's your decision? Hug or not?"

She hesitated for a moment and then nodded as she awkwardly moved over to me unsure. I sighed at her approach and took the process into my hands grabbing her waist forcefully and dragging her into my arms. I knew it would happen, I'd expected it, she tensed up on me. I wrapped my arms around her and slowly began rubbing circles in her back, trying to help her relax and realize that not the entire male population was out to get her.

"You're so beautiful you know that?" I whispered,

She pressed her head into my shoulder as I smiled feeing the concern still heavy in my chest, "And kind, kinder than me anyway." I announced as I heard her let out another sob. "Sure you've done some questionable things, but not recently. What happened with Liam, your friends, that was not your fault Miley. I was so mad that you couldn't remember what he did, and now god I feel like shit because you have remembered and it's hurting you. I never wanted to see you like this, and it's partly my fault that you're feeling so crap so that's why I'm taking responsibility in trying to make this better."

It's my fault I trusted-"

"Stop. You're going to be happy again, we're going to be in love again too."

"Who said we're not?" She murmured into my shirt,

"Happy or in love?"

"In love?"

I shrugged, "You haven't been replying to my texts, you keep telling me to leave you alone I just-"

"That doesn't mean I don't love you Nick,"

"So you do?"

She didn't respond as I felt a smile come to my face, "I'm taking that as a yes."

"This is so hard Nick." She whispered as I let my fingers trail though my hair, "Everything is hard now, and its my fault."

"It's not your fault Miley. I know it's hard, but we'll work our way through it. How do you want to play this out?"

"Play what out?" Her voice muffled by my shirt,

"Us."

She didn't respond as I felt myself sink a little, "Could we start again Miley? Could we at least try?"

"No, I don't want to forget the past."

"Then what do you want to do?"

"I just need a break Nick." She whispered,

The smile dropped from my face as her hand gripped at my shirt, "Not from you, from everything in my life. I just need to think, to make sense of what's happened to try and get through this because right now all I'm doing is dwelling and I'm so tired Nick, I'm so tired of it. My life is shit. I hate my family, I hate work, I hate that I feel so stupid and pointless. I hate everything."

"How do you want to fix that?"

She was silent for a minute as I leaned down kissing her head, "We could go away? Or is that moving too fast? We could go as friends?"

"To France?"

Her lack of hesitation made me smile and I chuckled, "That didn't go so great last time, if I remember correctly."

"I remember being so happy there, being with you, thinking about the future. I want to feel like that Miley, not this one."

"Then we'll go to France."

"You'd really take me there?"

"Of course I would, I take you anywhere if I could see you smile again."

She moved away from my shirt her eyes looking up into mine, "What about community service?"

I groaned, yeah shit I'd forgot about that. Miley pressed he forehead into my chest and shook her head,

"It doesn't matter, forget France-"

"No," I announced, "No we're going, I just need to finish community service first. In the meantime maybe this will be good for us, once a week seeing each other and having something to look forward to in the future- going to France. If things feel the same then we can go, if one or both of us feels this shitty then well...I guess we'll go our separate ways."

"That won't happen and you know it," Miley responded, "But I like the idea."

"It better not, I plan on marrying you one day soon." I whispered,

Miley looked at me and leaned her head up, "Me too."

I knew it was about to happen, my brain told me to stop her she was upset and vulnerable while my heart leapt at the opportunity. Before I could decide Miley made the choice for me and kissed me so gently. It lasted less than a second but it had happened. That was the first time I'd kissed since before the wedding and I felt like my desire for her was about to explode I wanted more but I knew I couldn't, not yet anyway.

Her body finally relaxed and melted in against me, "Do you think Joe and Kevin can handle the flowers?" She whispered,

"I think they can,"

"Can you stay here with me?" She asked, "I just wanna sleep so bad."

"I'm right here, I won't go anywhere."

"Thanks Nick," She murmured closing her eyes, "I love you."

"I love you beautiful,"

A heavy knocking fell upon the door as Miley sighed not opening her eyes,

"What's the problem Joe?" I spat knowing it would be him,

"Plan B just arrived?"

Miley opened her eyes looking at me, "Plan B?"

I looked at her apologetic, "Can the sleeping part wait?"

The door suddenly flung open as we both looked to our right to see a top of a head, then the forehead, then a pair of big brown eyes.

"Lucy," Miley whispered sitting up, "Hey, you can come in. I missed you."

My daughter however didn't move her eyes staring between us,

"Luce you can-"

"Are you back together?"

I glared at her as Miley sat completely up this time and motioned for her to come in. "Luce come in and close the door, then I'll tell you." Miley announced as finally my daughter's full frame came into the room and she turned looking behind her,

"Uncle Joe they didn't say you could come in, mommy says your in trouble already I think you should go make the bouquets now and stop being rude."

I snorted giving a laugh as I heard Joe huff, "And don't even think about listening in Jospeh," Miley added as Luce closed the door,

She turned and looked at both of us putting her hands on her hips, "So?"

I turned looking at Miley who stared at me and shrugged, "Maybe?" She murmured,

"A maybe that leans towards a yes,"

Miley nodded in agreement as we looked back at Luce who just stood there assessing us both.

"So you are back together? You're going to get married right? You're going to be my new mom?"

All the questions hit me and Miley at once as I glared at Lucy again, "Luce when I invited you here, you were supposed to help the situation remember what daddy said on the phone? That we had to cheer Miley up, not interrogate her?" I asked her as she rolled her eyes,

"I just want to know what's going on between you two. I can't cheer Miley up if she's mad at you dad."

"I'm not mad at him-"

"So you're back together?"

"Yes!" Miley announced, "Fine yes we are."

A smile erupted on Luce's face, "Really?" She turned to me and I nodded still unsure,

"Yes-"

"We are," Miley stated with confidence, "But it's a secret okay, your dad and me we just need to work some stuff-"

Miley never finished her sentence as we were tackled by Lucy who let out an excited squeal in the process, wrapping her arms around both of us and pushing us up against one another again. I laughed moving my arm around Luce while tucking the other arm gently around Miley, as I looked at her to see a smile on her face.

"I missed you so bad Miley."

"I missed you too Luce," She whispered truthfully,

"I can't wait till we're a family."

I shot Miley an apologetic look and she just gave me a weak smile, pulling Luce onto her lap, gently pulling my daughters crazy curls to one side.

"Actually when daddy's not in trouble anymore we were thinking we might go to France."

My eyes widened as Luce's grew to the size of plates, "FRANCE?"

Miley's hand clamped across her mouth as the scream erupted and I looked at Miley confused,

"But you said-" I whispered only for her to give me a look,

"Nick I love you, this is your family, I want her with us too. She makes me smile without even trying." Miley responded.

"I know, then she'll come with us to France."

"And we'll try and fix..."

"You, me, us and whatever else we still haven't fixed in the next couple of weeks."

She smiled and looked at me, "Nick thanks-"

"Don't thank me I-"

"For staying, when everyone else seemed to give up."

"I'd never give up on you."

I smiled as Miley turned her attention to Luce releasing her mouth only for the scream to erupt again as Miley laughed and the concern in me died a little. Laughing and smiling was good, a step in the right direction but I knew there was a still a lot to work on before Miley and me even replicated what we'd once been. But it was a start, and they were essential in having an ending.

A/N- Hey guys! Yes I'm sorry it took a month but look it's here finally! Thanks for the reviews and the constant reminders that I haven't updated, it keeps me alert and guilty haha Hope this has lived up to expectations! :)