Hey, thought I'd get this out there before Christmas... or whatever politically correct holiday you may or may not celebrate. :) Thanks for reading. I hope you like the direction I took this... I hope I was able to do it justice.
Anyway drop me a line and tell me what you think.
Edward.
Two and a half days ago, three words sealed my fate.
"It's too late."
Bella.
'Pain' doesn't even begin to cover it.
I have been in agony two and a half long days. Someone whispered that I was through the worst of it, but the searing sensation all over my body only seemed to heighten. Sweat beaded all over my back. I wanted so desperately out of my skin and away from the unimaginable pain but no matter what position I found myself in, it didn't recede or lessen.
"It's too late..." Carlisle's uttered word from a few days back echoed over and over on a never ending loop in my head. I tried to push the words from my mind but couldn't concentrate enough to force them away. Those three words sealed my fate. That is when I knew...
... I knew I was going to be a vampire.
"It's going to be okay," his velvety voice wrapped around me like a blanket. I leaned into the touch of his cool hand against my cheek; a stark contrast to the blazing heat of my skin. I wanted so desperately to believe the angelic voice. I had believed anything he said all my life, however, at that moment it was impossible to believe his words as truths.
"It hurts." I cried. The tears that fell down my cheek provided minimal reprieve before quickly evaporating.
"I know," he tried to soothe, "I'm sorry. I'm SO sorry. If I hadn't of--" I interrupted him, released a gut wrenching scream that I couldn't hold any longer.
"BELLA!!"
"Edward..." I whispered, my throat raw from screaming.
Edward.
"There has to be something we can to do." I pleaded with Carlisle. He looked back to me, sympathy coloring his face.
"Even if I could give her something, her system would reject it," he shook his head from side to side, regretfully. His usually well kempt hair fell into his tired eyes making him look older than Edward had ever seen him. "Her skin's already hardening... It shouldn't be too long." Let's hope. Carlisle left the room with his head hung and shoulders slumped.
The angel in my arms whimpered and squirmed; though never away from me.
This is all my fault, I thought.
I kept thinking; 'if only I'd been faster,' or ' I should have killed James when I'd had the chance.' The feelings of guilt running through me left me broken. Maybe if I hadn't brought her home at all.
My heart ached at the thought of the imaginary life she would never have been in. A normal life for her.
Stop blaming yourself, you idiot. Alice came into the room looking quite beaten herself. Get over yourself. This was inevitable and we both saw that.
"YOU STOP." I roared back at her. Even with having seen this, nothing could prepare either of us for watching this scene play out. It hurt Alice almost as much as me, to see one of her own in so much agony. "This is all happening because of my selfishness." I sighed lamely.
"You're not being selfish." She admonished putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I flinched away from her touch trying not to disturb Bella any more than necessary as I moved away from them both. Alice pulled her hand back looking a little hurt, also my fault. "You've loved her since she was a girl and she loves you right back, unconditionally."
"I said stop," I interrupted, seething at her words. Even if they might be true, and I wanted to believe them, I just didn't want hear them.
She continued as if I said nothing at all. "-And there's no way you would have left her in that alley all by herself. She could have died at the hands of that kid or worse--"
"STOP- IT!"
"Edward.." A weak voice sounded from the bed. I immediately crawled back in next to her on the bed, whispering assurances I was still here and not leaving her. Alice disappeared from the room. "Edward?" she whispered again in question.
"Yes?" I asked reserved, not wanting her to exert anymore energy than she had to.
"Hold me," she asked. Her eyes were shut tightly against the pain, her forehead wrinkled. She leaned into my embrace as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her toward my chest. That afternoon she convulsed and twitched in my hold, bravely making very little sound.
Then she stopped moving all together... Her heart stilled in her chest. Her lungs stopped automatically pulling air.
I laid her flat on her back and called for Carlisle.
It should only be a few moments. Her body is adjusting. Carlisle appeared beside me. I waited and watched for even the slightest signs of life.
"What's wrong?" I asked frantically; fear building after nearly a minute had passed.
Just give her time.
"Carlisle." I groaned getting more impatient.
"Watch," he said directing my gaze back to the bed where Bella's hand twitched.
"Bella?" I asked quietly.
At the sound of my voice she shot up and out of the bed to the opposite side of the room. She coward in the corner with her arms hiding her face.
"Bella?" I asked more loudly. I desperately wished to cross the room and comfort her but feared that the gesture might just frighten her further.
"Make it go away... the pain... it's too much..." she mumbled into her hands as she rocked herself back and forth. She looked so fragile and broken. Even knowing how far from the truth that actually was, emotionally she was vulnerable and raw. I didn't want this for her. I never wanted this for her.
"Bella?!" I asked again, unable to keep the worry from my voice. She looked back at me through splayed fingers. Her blood red eyes widening with surprise.
She stood up fast but didn't leave her corner. She took in her surrounding quickly and returned her gaze to me. The emotions pouring from her were intense but after a moment her posture showed signs of relief. Her eyes never broke contact with mine.
A gasp passed through the lips of every family member, who chose that moment to appear at my side. I couldn't blame them for gasping. Bella was...
She straightened her shirt, conscious of all the eyes on her. She forced her gaze down to brush imaginary lint from her thigh. If she had been human she would have been blushing. None of us seemed to be able to take our eyes away.
She looks... all of their thoughts focused on the creature we were sharing the room with. All images of her immense perfection.
Bella lifted her arm in a shy wave.
"Hey guys."
Next chapter is what A LOT of you have been waiting for. It's should be a lot easier to write than this one because I love writing the fluff. :) I'm so excited. Sorry the chapter isn't a little longer but I won't take to long to update.
AND if you haven't yet check out my newest story, Must Be Mistaken, you should. It's just started but I'd love your guys opinion.