Chapter 27
Nadine and Briana had been settled in at home for about two hours before the guys had come home from their game (and suit shopping for Brian), both sweaty and hungry. The time frame beforehand had been enough for Briana to hide her dress and pills.
"Don't worry about dinner," Brian announced after he and Paul arrived. "I ordered pizza on the way home. I figured we could all use a break, especially since I spent the last part of the afternoon getting clobbered by a Mexican."
"Works for me," Briana nodded, smiling.
"I will also have you know I have found a suit today. You can thank Senor Pedro here for his input on that matter."
Paul gave a cheesy grin, obviously proud of himself.
"Oh this should be good, considering I've seen 'Senor Pedro's' personal wardrobe choices," Briana replied.
"Aw, come on, Bree, cut me a break. I can do pretty good sometimes," Paul whined.
"He did for once," Brian said, dragging out a garment bag, and then paused. "Is it bad luck for me to show you before the wedding?"
"No, that's the bride," Nadine assured him. "Which is why you can't see Briana's dress yet."
"That's two fucking weeks yet," Paul complained. "No fair."
"Uh, dude? May I remind you that I'm the one getting married, therefore, I should be the one deciding what's fair," Brian spoke up, unzipping the bag. "Okay, ladies, what do you think?"
"Are you sure Paul picked this out?" Briana asked, clearly impressed.
"Yeah, pretty good for a dumb ass that usually needs instructions to dress himself, huh?" Brian said proudly.
"And you thought we Mexicans only knew about lawn care," Paul quipped. "Okay, the sales guy picked out the shirt and tie, but the suit was all me and El Midgeto there."
"You still did great," Nadine smiled.
"So you like it, baby?" Brian nuzzled Briana's neck. "Or perhaps the guy that will be in it?"
"I'd like the guy better if he went and took a shower. You smell like a sweaty horse."
"Why not join me? Saves water."
"Brian, we have company."
"Jesus, dude, I'd hate to envision your wedding night," Paul said. "Most guys think about sex every eight minutes. Brian thinks about it every two point two seconds."
"As if you don't, Porno King," Brian countered.
"Yeah, I've heard some of Paul's 'movie nights' are totally legend," Briana said knowingly.
"Did you know his job in high school was porn dealer?" Brian grinned.
"Dude!" Paul cried.
"Why am I not shocked?" Briana laughed. Nadine nodded in agreement, chuckling herself.
"Your husband to be over there isn't so innocent himself," Paul countered. "When he was a senior in high school, he and his buddy made a dirty movie with claymation farm animals and the farmer. Dude got suspended for a week and the teacher was so traumatized they ended up quitting. And don't get me started how his sister discovered him jacking off when he was fourteen."
"Stop right there!" Brian yelled. "Dude, you better be on your way back down to pick up dinner after you've cleaned up at your place by the time I'm out of the shower, or I'm whooping your ass."
"And I was just starting to enjoy myself," Paul laughed. "Want me to get a movie too?"
"No, I have a couple here. We have ladies present tonight, in case you hadn't noticed." Brian then pulled some clean towels out of a closet. "I'll be back out in about twenty."
"Have fun, shorty," Paul grinned, yanking down Brian's shorts, revealing his bare behind.
"Paul, you fucker! I ought to kill you right now!"
"You can't; you're half naked," Paul howled. "Nice ass, by the way, bubble butt."
Brian yanked his shorts up and then threw his sweaty shirt at Paul. "Go get the damn food." He then stomped toward the bathroom. "Asshole," he muttered to himself.
A short time later:
Instructed to pick out a movie from the DVD collection on the back wall, Briana and Nadine pored through the various titles.
"The Notebook? Wow, I knew Bri was the sensitive type, but this drives it home," Nadine smiled.
"Don't say anything, but he cries during it too," Briana giggled. "Honestly, who falls for that 'I have something in my eye' line anymore?"
"Yeah, that dates back when we were in junior high," Nadine agreed before knitting her eyebrows at another title.
"What?" Briana asked.
"I don't think I've ever heard of a film called Plow My Ass." Nadine studied the cover. "It's uh….interesting, to say the least. He wouldn't by any chance forgot to give something back to Paul, would he?"
"Give me that," Briana answered, now curious, reading the DVD. "Oh for God's sake. I forgot to warn you my fiance has a weird sense of humor."
"I figured that already, but what does that have to do with having a gay porno film among his regular DVD's?" Nadine wondered.
"He watches them for laughs; it's one of Brian's favorite ways of tormenting and nauseating Paul. Then again, only Brian would keep his porn stash proudly among his regular movie collection."
"He is one eccentric little character," Nadine chuckled. "Oh look, all the Pirates of the Caribbean titles."
"Bri has a pirate fixation too," Briana explained.
"Well, I guess we have our movie for tonight if it's okay with you," Nadine replied. "There's a couple of these I haven't seen."
"Of course," Briana nodded. "Certainly beats Plow My Ass, doesn't it? Unless you want to see Paul turn six shades of green and whine like a little girl."
"I think the pirate movie is the better option."
"Me too."
Brian made an appearance, now cleaned up. "Find anything you two liked?" he asked.
"Another installment of Pirates of the Caribbean," Briana smiled, holding up the selected DVD.
"Ah, ladies after my own heart. Good choice." He opened a soda, taking a healthy swig.
"Interesting adult film collection, by the way," Nadine deadpanned.
Brian spit out some soda and coughed "What the hell? You went through my porn?"
"Accident, I swear," Nadine spoke up.
"It was mixed in with your movies, as you know," Briana said, "not exactly the place to keep it well hidden. We really need to discuss the issue of that stash sometime, especially if there is a chance of having children one of these days."
"Uh, yeah, sure…."
Paul waltzed in the door with the pizza order. "La cena ha llegado," he announced.
"English, holmes," Brian said. "We're in America, remember?"
"Dinner is here. Hey, you should have seen the counter girl down there tonight. Smoking hot with some big, perky–"
"Paul," Brian cut in. "Ladies present. And you have a date for the wedding anyway."
"Jesus, you're getting to be a boring old fart. So what's the movie tonight?"
Nadine grinned, informing him.
"Fucking hell, not that again."
"Nadine hasn't seen it yet," Brian said, "and neither has Bree. It's ladies' choice tonight, whether you like it or not. Now let's eat and have a nice quiet evening."