Chapter Twenty Five.

Miley.

"So what does it say Miley? What does the test say?"

I looked at the simple piece of plastic that had just determined my future. What does it say? It said I'd just fucking ruined my entire life, that's what it said. Instead of speaking my mind I just stared at the pregnancy test unable to speak. I pursed my lips together unwilling to let myself cry, but I could feel the heat building behind my eyes wanting so badly to escape. I didn't want this! I wasn't cut out to be a mom, not now anyway.

"Miley?" Danielle called out to me, "Are you okay?"

Okay? That was the last fucking thing I was feeling right now.

"Miley just come out, and we can talk, we can…it'll be fine." Danielle started only to change her mind half way through. I guess she wasn't the only one who didn't know what to say right now.

"Miley please?"

My eyes glimpsed around feeling panicked, as I suddenly felt claustrophobic locked in here so tightly. I needed to get out. I needed to breathe clear air and not smell antiseptic all around me! I wanted out! But how could I face Danielle? The second she saw me she'd know. My eyes continued to spin until I locked on the sanitary waste bin and without a second doubt in my mind I opened it throwing the test away.

The evidence was gone. There was no proof. There was nothing saying I was pregnant. So if I lied, no one would know. I'd lie, that was the best answer right now. I wasn't pregnant.

I opened the door as Danielle looked at me relived, "Miley what did it-"

"I'm not pregnant." I announced keeping my eyes locked on hers.

She just watched me, "Miley are you sure? Did you take the test?"

I nodded and walked past her heading to the sink, "So it said you weren't pregnant? Can I see it?" Shit she didn't believe me. I turned on the taps squirting a handful of soap onto my shaking skin trying to keep my nerve.

"Miley? Where's the test, can I-"

"I threw it out." I responded washing my hands, scrubbing them clean. Trying to scrub away the fearful feeling lingering on my skin.

"Why?"

I turned the tap off and spun around facing her analyzing eyes,

"Why keep a negative test?" I asked simply as she just looked at me.

After a few more moments she nodded at me, "Okay, well Nick's freaking so…do you want to come back and sit with us or would you rather go home?" She asked.

I knew she still didn't believe me completely, but at least for now I'd dimmed the suspicions. Hopefully it was enough until I could fully comprehend what this meant to me. "Miley? What do you want to do?" She repeated.

I shrugged not knowing what I wanted right now, everything just seemed a massive jumble that I didn't understand.

"Miley are you sure you're okay? You look really pale- like you're about to feint."

"I'm fine," I snapped at her drying my hands, "Let's just go sit down."

"Okay," She murmured in a high voice looking at me up and down.

I didn't wait for her to move instead taking the lead everything in me on edge. The second I left the bathroom I felt more confidence start to build. I could do this, I'd lied before, this was no different. Danielle kept up with my quick pace as I reentered the waiting room finding it empty of people I knew,

"They found another room for us to wait," Danielle explained lightly touching my arm, her eyes lingering on my hand that was still shaking. I instantly pulled away. "Miley are you sure-"

"Where?" I asked.

"Just down here, the doctor came in before he said Demi's doing well." She added as I felt at least one knot in my stomach untie, "He said everything is going normal which is a positive, supposedly Joe's freaking though. Demi requested the Doctor to give him a sedative…"

Danielle kept talking but I let my mind wander off, the red line still in my eyes haunting my system. I didn't even notice Dani had stopped talking, or walking for that matter until I heard her shouting my name. I turned to see her just staring at me, twenty feet away her face filled with concern.

"Miley maybe you should go home?" She repeated.

I shook my head and walked back to her, "No, I need to be here for Demi."

Danielle just stared at me, "Miley if you're pregnant you can tell me, I won't tell anyone okay? You don't have to do this alone. This is your body after all and no one will think of you differently no matter what you decide." She announced moving her hand out clasping mine,

"Thanks for the support, but I'm no pregnant" I lied again.

"Okay, but if you were-"

"I get it okay." I cut her off opening the door.

I guess I wasn't really expecting the entire family to be here. I mean I'd seen them before, yet now seeing all their eyes on me at once I felt frozen. Nick was instantly up looking at me confused, his eyes turning to Danielle and I heard them exchange words but I just couldn't hear them, like it was muffled. I watched Denise stand up too her face nervous, only to halt as Nick said something to her. She quickly retook her seat as I felt Nick press her hand gently in the small of my back,

"I'm not pregnant." I announced louder than I intended too.

Everyone was staring at me once again. I let my eyes look into Nick's chocolate ones, knowing that this was the time I had to hold it together. "I'm not pregnant." I repeated staring straight into his eyes.

Just like Danielle he continued to stare at me, so I tried again. "I'm not pregnant. I'm not. I did the test."

Nick's eyes looked to Danielle as she sighed, "But she threw it out," She added walking past, "Maybe you should take another one Miley, so Nick can see it and so we can all-"

"No. It was negative." I hissed feeling the façade falling.

"Then if it was negative you won't mind taking another one, right?" Nick asked me with raised eyebrows.

I just looked at him insulted, "You don't believe me?"

Nick groaned, "No Miley, I just…actually no I don't. I don't believe you."

The door opened behind him as I looked at it surprised, I hadn't even heard it close. When I looked though I didn't see anyone, until I saw Nick's fake smile his eyes focused downwards.

"Lucy-"

"How's aunt Demi?" She cut him off, "Did I miss it? Did she have the baby? Did she call it Lucy like I suggested?" Nick gave a small laugh as I just stared at her feeling the terror seeping through every inch of my body. I had to get away from her, because seeing her…

"You're here…" I heard her say, Luce's eyes now looking at mine condemningly,

"Yeah she is Luce, can you just give Miley and me a minute-"

"So you can forgive her, again? She left us daddy."

The anger in her voice. It sounded like me when I talked to my mom. Lucy was proof enough I could never have a child. I'd never me a good mom. All I'd ever be was a disappointed to them. I covered my mouth and pushed the door open bolting from the room wanting nothing more to escape. I didn't know where I was going though and after three corners I felt like everything was closing in, until I heard screaming, multiple voices screaming.

I turned my head and looked realizing what the sound was…

I was facing the nursery, where all the newborns were placed.

I looked through the glass staring at the nurses rushing around smiling at the little infants who were crying, trying to ease their fears. They were so little. I pressed my hand against the glass watching. One in particular, a little girl, whose mouth was open staring at the roof with a curious look in her eyes like she'd never seen something so strange before.

I felt a presence next to me but I didn't move, I just watched.

"They're ugly aren't they.?" The voice announced.

I knew the voice, and I instantly felt worse by what he'd said. I looked at Nick disgusted, "They're babies! How can you say that? They're adorable!" I hissed at him and he just looked at me confused,

"Yet you don't seem to want one." He murmured as I looked away again. I didn't want one, he was right, other people's kids sure but my own? No. Because I didn't want their little smiling face to turn into one of spite when they realized I wasn't good enough.

"Have I ever told you about when Lucy was born?"

I didn't answer as Nick smiled beside me, "The first time I saw her she was screaming, and there was this nurse trying to calm her down. Selena was like out to another world on drugs, so they gave me baby Luce to hold." He continued still staring through the window, "It would be an awesome story to tell you that she suddenly stopped crying, but she didn't. Lucy screamed even louder, I panicked and bolted. It took me twenty four hours to face her again."

I turned looking at Nick as he frowned, "I wanted to run when Selena told me she was pregnant, I hated the idea of being a dad so young. Then holding that screaming child, it was my worst nightmare."

His eyes turned to mine a small smile coming to his face, "But…it got better. It wasn't love at first sight, don't tell Lucy that but it took a while and now I can't think of a world without her in it. She's everything to me. Just like you are."

I turned away from him looking down, "So are you pregnant?" He asked calmly.

I didn't answer as he sighed, "Miley, look you aren't in this alone. I'm going to be there for you no matter what, and I know you're worried, I get that because I was too. This time it'll be better though because at least I know what I'm doing now."

"I don't," I whispered.

"So you are?" He asked. "Pregnant?"

I let my eyes drift into the nursery and focus on the baby girl again whose eyelids were now firmly closed. I sighed and looked at Nick giving a small nod, my lips clenched as I felt my eyes watering again.

"I want you to say it Miley, I don't think either of us will believe it until you say it out loud." Nick stated seriously as I opened my mouth trying so hard to say it to him, but instead I chocked on a sob releasing the only two words I could think of and process right now.

"I'm scared."

He didn't wait until I finished before he pulled me into his arms as I started crying. "I know. I am too." He whispered as I pressed my head into his shoulder, "But let's just not act on what we're feeling right now, let's give this time. We don't want to make the wrong decision Mi."

I nodded in agreement as he held onto me, "We're going to be okay."

"I hope so," I sobbed out.

"I know so," He whispered kissing the side of my head.

Nick.

So now I knew the truth and it felt like shit.

Not once, but twice, I'd managed to fuck up someone else's life and my own. Selena hadn't wanted a baby. Miley didn't either. It was like I was repeating my past and even though the words I spoke to Miley were true I was completely terrified. I didn't want to screw this up like I did with Selena. I loved Miley too much to make her go through this alone, but at the same time I wasn't ready for this. Not again. I should have been more careful.

I looked at her sobbing face buried into my shoulder feeling sick with guilt.

"How about we go home?" I suggested unsure of what else we could do right now.

Miley instantly pulled back shaking her head, "We can't, Demi."

"Demi will understand-"

"She won't, and you know it." Miley murmured wiping her nose on her sleeve.

I watched her eyes drift into the nursery once more, the look of panic gone from her eyes replaced with contemplation. I knew what she was doing, because it was running through my head too. We had options, so many options. Just what one we would decide right now wasn't at all obvious to me or Miley.

"I want to meet my niece or nephew." Miley stated firmly turning to me trying her hardest to smile, "We owe Demi and Joe at least that Nick, they've been our rock so many times it's our turn to be theirs."

I nodded in agreement, "You're right, but in saying that you don't-"

"Nick." She whispered, "I'm not okay, but right now it doesn't matter how I feel or what's happening with me." Her eyes skimmed to her stomach, "What matters is family, Demi and Joe are our family. We need to be here."

"Okay, then we'll stay but what are we going to tell my parents, Danielle-"

Miley shrugged, "It's not like we need to say anything Nick." She closed her eyes. "I think they already know, Luce is the only one who is oblivious and honestly I think I'd rather keep it that way with her, until we decide. I don't want her to know in case we…" Miley trailed off as I nodded in agreement.

"I agree, you okay to face them."

Miley nodded sucking in a breath, "Yep, I can do it."

"That's what I like to hear!" I announced pulling me arm around her shoulders as she leaned against me.

"I'm sorry I've been acting so…" She started as I squeezed her shoulders giving my wife a look.

"Don't worry."

"And about Liam-"

I kissed the side of her head as we started walking, "Let's not even worry about that right now, we can discuss all of this when we get home. Let's just concentrate on the fact we're about to become an aunt and uncle." I announced and Miley bit her lip nodding,

"Okay, I can do that."

"Good."

The walk back to the waiting room was silent as we both tried to get ready to face the family, but thankfully they didn't all stare like last time. Mom was the only one who looked up and held our gaze while Danielle and Kevin glimpsed in our direction only to continue their conversation. My eyes skimmed around trying to find my daughter only for mom to catch my look,

"Paul took Lucy down to get something to eat, she was pretty angry and confused." Mom whispered.

Miley notably stiffened, "I shouldn't have left you guys I just-" I gave her a look and she instantly fell silent as Miley turned back to mom.

"Any news?"

Mom shook her head smiling at us, "No not yet, you two okay now?"

We exchanged a look as I nodded, "Yep, we're fine we just need to think some things through…" I murmured as Miley bit her lip nodding with me.

"That's a very good idea." Mom responded looking between us.

Miley smiled pressing her head into my shoulder again as the door flung open making us both jump. Everyone in the room redirected their eyes to the sound as we all welcomed the sight of my older sweaty brother. Joe stood there wearing bright green scrubs, his hair sticking out at every angle and, most notably, the biggest grin I'd ever seen in my life on his face.

"I was so right, it's a girl!"

Mom instantly screamed in happiness rushing straight at him, pulling Joe into a huge bear hug. He laughed proudly hugging her back as I smiled moving over to him. The second mom let Joe go I had my big brother in a bone-crunching hug, forgetting everything that was going on between us. This was a celebration.

"How's my best friend doing in there?" I asked grinning as he laughed again.

"Demi's great Nick! She just got to hold Holly for the first time and-"

"Holly?" Danielle asked excited.

Joe gave a giggly laugh nodding, "Holly Skye Gray."

"That's a beautiful name Joe." Mom chocked out covering her mouth, tears forming in her eyes as she hugged Joe again. "I'm so proud of you…"

"We all are Joe, can we see them yet?" Kevin asked slamming his hand on Joe's back who was now hugging a crying mom.

Joe nodded his eyes shifting to me, "Yeah you can, but Demi requested that you two see her first." He announced his eyes shifting to Miley who remained silent beside me the genuine smile on her face dropping instantly.

"She what?" Miley murmured.

Joe looked at Miley and gave a weak smile, "Demi wants you to meet Holly first."

I grinned at Joe feeling my head nodding automatically. I turned to Miley who looked nervous but slowly nodded the smile returning as she looked at the rest of my family,

"But you guys should see her first, you-"

"Are just as much apart of this family as we are." Mom announced letting go of Joe giving Miley a look. Danielle and Kevin both nodded in agreement as I think we finally got the reassurance we both needed.

Finally we had approval it seemed.

"Okay then, can we go now?" Miley asked almost eager.

Joe nodded grinning ecstatic, "Yeah of course, come on!" He grabbed Miley's arm yanking her out of the room as I quickly followed behind. "Demi's a little bit out of it right now, she's trying to convince me that the room is spinning- Doc says it's the drugs. Dem's stopped cursing though which was good, she said some pretty violent things in there."

"Like what?" I asked.

Joe's smile fell, "Like she wanted to rip my thing off…" He trailed off as Miley laughed.

Joe stopped suddenly looking at both of us with raised eyebrows,

"That wasn't the only thing she said, let's make it clear you guys weren't the first people I wanted to hold my daughter." Joe announced glaring at me as I rolled my eyes,

"Geez thanks Joe," I responded as he laughed.

"That was until Demi yelled something out at me."

Miley suddenly looked awkward as Joe clearly read enough from our expressions. He laughed and slapped my arm, "I suppose Congratulations are in order?" I gave him a warning look as he turned to Miley winking, "You're going to be a great mom Miley,"

I went to interrupt as Miley just smiled, "Thanks Joe, can we see-"

"Right, yep of course…"

Joe opened the door and waltzed in like the happiest man alive as I gave Miley an apologetic look and she just smiled walked past. I followed her lead quietly closing the door the previous emotions completely absent to my body now, all I felt was excitement at seeing my baby niece.

"Hey guys,"

My eyes fell on a drowsy Demi, who looked completely exhausted but the smile on her face was indescribable. My eyes fell to her arms where a little pink face peaked out from a white blanket. I leaned forward looking down at my sleeping niece still in awe of how life worked,

"She's so-"

"Beautiful Demi." Miley whispered finishing my sentence for me.

Demi gave another smile and shifted her arms slightly, "You wanna hold her?"

Her eyes were tightly locked on Miley who opened her mouth turning to me. I didn't say anything though, because this wasn't my choice, it was hers. Miley turned to Demi who just gave her a look,

"Miley she's not going to bite you." Demi responded.

"Not yet anyway," Joe added nudging Miley with his elbow.

Slowly I watched my wife ease into the idea of holding the newborn as she moved forward towards Demi. I walked around her moving to Demi's opposite side as Joe leaned forward helping the obviously very weak Demi exchange the small little human being into Miley's arms.

"Now don't drop her," Joe ordered letting go completely.

I kept my eyes locked on Miley as she just stared at the baby in her arms. I waited for her to grow panicked like I'd seen her do at the nursery yet she didn't. She smiled instead. Holly suddenly opened her mouth as Miley let out a short laugh rocking her,

"Hey Holly, I'm going to be your godmother."

"And Aunt, don't forget that." Demi added.

Miley nodded her smile spreading as Demi shifted her eyes looking at me. I saw the look, the plan in them. Demi knew what she was doing by asking Miley here. She was helping her in a way none of us could. Demi had just taken away all our choices and left one,

"Thank you." I mouthed and she just grinned.

"No problem. Look after her Nick."

"I will." I stated out loud.

Miley looked up confused as I walked back to my wife wrapping my arm around her waist staring down at Holly. "Welcome to the world Holly," I whispered as Miley smiled at me.

"Okay my turn again!" Joe announced.

"Joe," Demi groaned.

Joe ignored Demi and gently took Holly grinning at her stupidly, beginning to pull faces as he moved back to sit with Demi. She scolded him moving her hand up slowly running it across Holly's head. Miley leaned her head on my shoulder looked up at me. I knew at that moment we were both thinking the same thing. That maybe we could be like that, that maybe we didn't have to be so scared after all.

A/N: Corny last line much? Anyway thanks for the reviews guys! Happy Easter! xx